Roadtrip Around the USA
by Link and Luigi
Summary: Kagome decides to take her friends on a tour of the United States. About...15 minutes into the trip she realizes that it wasn't one of her best ideas. Don't forget to play "Where's Sessho-Maru?" and note the NUMEROUS cameo appearences!!
1. Starting in California: Universal Studio...

Title

"Remind me NEVER to take you guys one an airplane again!" Kagome yelled as she, Inu-Yasha, Miroku, Sango and Shippo got off of a large airplane that had taken them from Japan to the United States.

"It wasn't THAT bad…" said Sango.  

"It wouldn't have been that bad if YOU hadn't asked so many questions!!" Kagome yelled while pointing to Miroku.  

"I was simply curious." Whined Miroku.  "Besides, that wasn't NEARLY as obnoxious as Shippo's little 'yak' fest!"

"You were doing it too!" Shippo yelled.

"Only for a second!" Miroku defended.  "Then I realized that yelling 'yak' through a rolled up piece of paper was not the correct way of traveling while airborne!"

"But the guy on the box thingy with the weird hair was doing it!" Shippo pointed out.

"But he was an IDIOT!!" Inu-Yasha yelled.  "I can't believe I put up with you doing that THE WHOLE WAY HERE!!!"

"Guys, you're making a scene!" Kagome whispered to them.  And SURE ENOUGH, there was a circle of knavish staring people all around them.

"So we are." Observed Miroku.  "Shall we locate our baggage?"

So they all strolled over to the baggage wheel thing and marveled at it's wonderfulness and then they waited for their bags to come around.  They collected all their bags with no trouble and made their way over to the car rental place.

"Excuse me?" asked Kagome.  (She's going to be doing a lot of the talking since she's going to be the one who really knows what she's doing.)

"May I help you?" asked the man as he turned around while holding up a giant puffball-like boa on his shoulder.  He looked remarkably like Sessho-Maru but what the hell would Sessho-Maru be doing in the REAL world?!

"What the hell are you doing in the REAL world?!" Inu-Yasha demanded as he grabbed the collar on Sessho-Maru's little uniform.

"Ah!" Sessho-Maru said contently.  "If it isn't my younger brother!  Sessho."

"What?" asked Inu-Yasha.

"I didn't say anything.  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru.

Inu-Yasha sighed long and hard.  "Never mind." He said.  "What are you doing here?"

"Just making some extra money on the side.  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru.  "Don't worry.  I wish not to harm you.  Sessho."

"He didn't used to do that, did he?" asked Sango to Miroku.

"Not to the best of my knowledge." Answered Miroku.

"Here are your keys.  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru as he handed Kagome a ring with a few keys on it.  "Your car is that green convertible out there.  Sessho."

"Um…thanks…" said Kagome as she took the keys.

"Have a fun trip!  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru as he wished them God-speed and waved to them merrily while stroking his puff.

"Of all the people to run into half way across the world…in a different time period…" said Kagome to herself.

I bet you're wondering what our lovely friends are doing right now!  Well, they decided that they should take a road trip around the United States!!  They've got the first part down and that was going to the United States, now all they have to do is go around it!!  HUZZAH!!!

"You know what I never thought about?" said Kagome as she stood outside the car.  "I'm too young to drive and I'm sure none of you…"

She interrupted herself because all of those crazy people that she was traveling with didn't know WHAT a car was so they were marveling at it.

"What a fascinating chariot!" said Miroku as he opened the door and sat in the driver's seat.

"Feh." Said Inu-Yasha as he crossed his arms and scoffed.  "I don't trust anything that looks like THIS!"

"What kind of material is this?" Sango asked as she felt the seat cushion.

"**SHINY!!!!!**" Shippo screeched as he attached himself to the hood of the car like a leech.  Miroku, who had been playing with every single button in the car, pressed the 'hood' button and the hood popped open and launched Shippo into orbit.  And that was the end of Shippo… though not really.

"So is this the contraption we will be traveling around in?" asked Miroku.

"Actually, it might not be." Said Kagome.  "I'm not old enough to drive it.  This trip might have just been a waste of time and money."

"Well, that poses no problem!" said Miroku.  "For I am older than you and could easily pilot this!"

"NO WAY!!" yelled Inu-Yasha.  "I would be MUCH more suitable of controlling this thing!"

"Don't be ridiculous." Miroku scoffed.  "I am older than you.  Kagome said that the oldest had to drive."

"I DIDN'T SAY THAT!!" Kagome yelled.  "I simply said that I wasn't old enough."

"But I am." Miroku assumed.

"I think I'll just drive." Said Kagome.  "I figure that if a policeman pulls us over, you guys can kill him or something…though not really."

"Feh." Said Inu-Yasha as he pulled out his abnormally large sword.  "No human will tell me what to do!"

"I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NOT TO BRING THAT!!!" Kagome yelled.

"But Sango got to bring her boomerang!" Inu-Yasha pointed out.  Kagome turned to Sango.

"Since when did you have that?!" Kagome said.  "I thought I told you to leave that at home!"

"I go nowhere without my stupidly large boomerang." Said Sango.

"Whatever." Said Kagome.  "Just don't…use them or anything."

"RIGHTO!!" said Sango and Inu-Yasha as they gave Kagome the thumbs up.

So Shippo staggered back over, whined about his hunger pains and they all climbed into the car with Kagome in the driver's seat.  

"So where is a good place to eat?" asked Kagome as she scanned the side of the road.  She noticed a WacDnald's on the side of the road and figured that WacDnald's is a good a place as any and pulled up to the drive thru window.

"Hello…" said the voice through the little speaker thingy.  It was very staticy and they couldn't really understand it.  They couldn't really tell what he was saying but they assumed that it was, 'May I take your order?'

So Kagome ordered them all their food.

"So you tell the BOX what you want…" said Miroku as he pointed to the speaker box thing.  "And the person in the window hands you your food?"

"Uh…yeah…" said Kagome, not feeling like explaining.

"Must be some sort of telepathy." Said Miroku.  Then he leaned out the window.  (He was sitting in the back left after all.)  "Greetings sub-life form!"

"Shut up!" Sango yelled, hitting him on the head.  (since she's sitting in the back right)

Kagome drove up to the window and sat there waiting patiently.  They sat there for about three and a half minutes before Shippo started throwing a tantrum about being bored and hungry so he chewed on Inu-Yasha's head who didn't seem to mind/notice/care at all.  Finally, Kagome knocked on the window because she could SEE somebody standing in there but for some reason, they weren't turning around!!  WHAT'S UP WITH THAT!!  So um…she knocked on the window and the person turned around and slid it open.

Everyone in the car gasped.

"Here's your food.  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru.

"But weren't you just…" started Kagome.

"You can't expect me to live only on ONE job!  Sessho." said Sessho-Maru as if he were offended.  Kagome shrugged and uneasily took the bag of food and drinks and straws and then she asked for ketch-up and Sessho-Maru gave some little packets to her.  She paid him, he shut the window and then they drove off!!  HURRAH!!!

Kagome parked on the side of the road so they could all devour their food.  Kagome was munching on her little hamburger with cheese and bacon and lettuce and secret sauce and a few other things when she randomly decided to turn to Inu-Yasha (since he was sitting in the passenger's seat of course) and ask him how he liked his futuristic food!

"You're supposed to EAT it, not DISSECT it!!" she shrieked when she saw that he was throwing pickles around and wiping the bun covered in mustard on the door handle.  He looked up obliviously as if what he was doing wasn't messy or destructive.

"Kagome, how come I didn't get as much food as everyone else?!" Shippo demanded as he held up a Wappy Meal.

"Well I figured that since you're just a child then you should get a Wappy Meal, for the children." Kagome explained.

"Why isn't my meal oval like a sphere but instead they are these small, bite size semi-spherical globs in this box?" Miroku asked as he shook the box right in Kagome's face as if she would be fascinated by the sound of the chicken nuggets being tossed about.

"I wanted everyone to get a variety!!" she yelled, getting frustrated.

"That must be why mine is so…" Sango started, holding up a salad.  She stopped, at a loss for words.

Kagome groaned and then pulled out a giant map of the United States in attempt to change the subject.  "Where should we go first?"

Everyone leaned over and looked at the map.  "Err…" said no one in particular.

"Let me try and rephrase the question." Said Kagome, clearing her throat.  "What should we do first?"  More blank stares.  "What kind of futuristic activity did you find the most intriguing whenever I talked about it!"

"School!" said Miroku.

"Hot water baths!" Sango said.

"Dates!" Shippo said.

"Feh." Said Inu-Yasha.

Kagome got a retarded little drop as she looked back at the map, realizing that they were in…um…California!!  So she figured that she could take them to Universal Studious or something!!  HURRAY!!

"You guys want to go to Universal Studious?!" she said excitedly because she wanted to go to Universal Studious too.  Everyone raised an eyebrow as Kagome clapped her hands together.  "It's settled then!!  LET'S GOOOOO!!"  Then she slammed her foot down on the gas petal and they started going…YAY!!

After 'going' for a little while, Kagome realized that she was still in her school uniform.  That would look pretty silly to the people in the US, especially since her uniform is a SAILOR OUTFIT!!!  HOW INSANE IS THAT?!

And then…she paused and looked Inu-Yasha up and down.  Then she got another retarded little drop when she stopped to think about Miroku, Sango and Shippo and what THEY were wearing.  Maybe the sailor outfit wouldn't look all THAT silly compared to the pants that were so big that Inu-Yasha could live in them.

"Um…" she started, not really knowing how to start this comment.  "I was just noticing that you guys…um…well…are wearing what you'd wear normally in my world and was just thinking…"

"So?" said Inu-Yasha with a glare.

"Well, I was going to get MYSELF a new outfit so I figured that maybe you guys could come to and maybe, you know…you know, don't you Sango?!" She said as she tried to throw the explanation on someone else.

"You want to get us new clothes?" Sango suggested.

"Oh really?" Kagome said with a laugh.  "Well if you insist and all then it's fine with me!"

Then she stopped at a store that said, 'Shop For Clothes Here Because Gomamon Digivolves to Ikkakumon!!'  So they decided to shop for clothes there because, after all, Gomamon DOES Digivolve into Ikkakumon!!  HAW HAW HAW!!

Upon entering, they went right to the children's section because they decided to get Shippo out of the way first.  So um…Kagome and Sango stayed with Shippo and then Kagome told Inu-Yasha and Miroku to run off and frolic in the men's section.  And that's exactly what…they…did.  Or MEANT to do.

Miroku and Inu-Yasha aren't ones to FROLIC so they just kind of strolled nonchalantly down the isles as if they DIDN'T look weird being in the maternity section…

"I suppose everyone in this world is hideously large." Miroku said, observing a mannequin that should not be exercising.

Just then, just about the oldest woman in the entire world walked over with a nametag on that said 'Mary Bo'.  "What are you looking for?" she asked in her crumbly voice.  Miroku and Inu-Yasha drew back from her and reached for their various ways of protecting themselves from her, thinking that she was some sort of extremely powerful demon or what have you.  Mary Bo didn't wait very long for an answer so she casually walked away.

The two relaxed and gave a heavy sigh of relief.  All of a sudden, Kagome, Sango and Shippo walked over to them.  Shippo was wearing some kind of crazy pair of overalls and sneakers and a hat too.  HURRAH!!

"What are you two doing in the MATERNITY section?!" Kagome yelled a whole lot louder than she needed to in her angry voice as it echoed throughout the entire store.

"We were just LOOKING!!" Inu-Yasha yelled back.

She grabbed them both by the arms and dragged them over to the men's section.  "THIS is where you're supposed to be!" she said, crossing her arms.

"You never see US making fun of YOUR clothes…" mumbled Inu-Yasha as he began to shift through the rack of t-shirts.

"There's hardly anything here in the color of purple that I like." Sighed Miroku.  Then he paused.  "Come to think of it, there's hardly anything in the color purple at all…"

"Well, when men wear purple in THIS time…" started Kagome but then she decided to stop when she noticed that there were some random teenage boys looking at the same rack of t-shirts that Inu-Yasha was looking at and were now directing their attention AWAY from the t-shirts and more at Inu-Yasha who is not the normalest sight because, after all, his clothes alone are more than three times the width of his own body.

And suddenly, they began to whisper to each other.  When Kagome noticed Inu-Yasha's ears begin to twitch and there were various types of angry sounding noises coming from his general direction, she concluded that THIS would be a good time to pull everyone over to the other side of the men's section.  So she did.

After a little while she grabbed t-shirts and pants and shoes and all that kind of stuff for them and shoved them into the men's room.  She told them to try everything on while she and Sango went off to the girl's section to find some clothes for themselves!!  So they said whatever and went into the men's room and chose some stalls and started trying on the clothes.

Shippo stayed with them too so he could give commentary.

And the girls skipped off to the girl's section.  They picked out all kinds of crazy things that they liked and then went to the try-on room and tried stuff on until they found a bunch of things that they liked and then met up with the guys who were standing outside of the changing room in their regular clothes while saying feh as they gave their stuff to the guy behind the counter who would put the stuff back where they belong.

"What's wrong with all the clothes I picked out for you?!" Kagome demanded.

"They were all FAR too small!" Miroku replied, picking up a pair of jeans and laughing heartily.  "I didn't even have to put these on to know that I wouldn't be able to squeeze into them!"

"So you didn't even try them on?" Kagome said, annoyed.

"Why bother?" asked Inu-Yasha.

"This is just getting too ridiculous!!" Kagome yelled, grabbing all the stuff back from the acne infested kid behind the counter and shoving them back into the arms of Miroku and Inu-Yasha.  "Just try them all on and I'LL tell you whether they're too small or not!"  Then she shoved them back into the changing room with an exasperated sigh.

After quite a lot of complaining and waiting and a poor excuse for a fashion show, everyone finally had a few cartfuls of clothes so they went over to the cash register.  Since they were in California and all, all the clothing was all surfer style and gnarely and that kind of stuff.  You know what I mean…

As they were waiting in line, Kagome observed a rack of Takeblah hats of many colors and varieties.  She quickly decided that it would be best to get Inu-Yasha a hat since he has ears on the top of his head and that often looks odd to people because people usually have ears on the SIDES of their head.

"Inu-Yasha…" she started as she held up a hat.  "What would you say to one of these?"

"Feh." Said Inu-Yasha.  "If you want someone to play dress up with, go ask Miroku or Shippo or anyone else but me!"

"I was just suggesting that you should wear this to uh…cover up…"

"What?" Inu-Yasha asked as if he didn't already know the answer.  "The humans in your world can't handle seeing…" But he was interrupted because the lady behind them shrieked and fainted while screaming 'THE EARS!!  THE EARS!!'  Inu-Yasha turned back to Kagome with dot eyes so she picked up one of the Takeblah hat (an off-white one of course) and put it in the cart.

At this point, they got to the front of the line and put all their stuff on the table.  The person behind the table was wearing surfer clothes and a Takeblah hat too and he also had a puffy thing on his shoulder…

"Let me guess, another side job?" said Inu-Yasha with a retarded little vein.

"How did you guess?  Sessho." Sessho-Maru replied, stroking his puff.  Then he started bleeping all the stuff and pressing buttons on the cash register and all that other kind of stuff and then he put all the clothes in a bag and told them how much money it was and then they paid him and then they left as he said fair well to them and wiped a tear from his eye.

"Sessho-Maru is really starting to get on my nerves." Said Inu-Yasha as he hopped in the passenger's seat of the convertible.  Everyone else got into their seats too.  "I think he's just stalking me and waiting for me to let my guard down and then he'll steal the Tetsusaiga."

"You're so paranoid!" said Shippo.

"Now everyone get changed into the brand new clothes I ever so nicely just bought you all with the money I accumulated out of nowhere that I am able to just foolishly squander!" said Kagome as she fished through the bags and tossed a random outfit to everyone.

They all complained a little bit but then Kagome used her ANGRY voice so they obeyed and put their clothes on.

"How come Inu-Yasha gets a hat and I don't?" complained Miroku.

"You can wear it…" Inu-Yasha started as he took off his hat but that same random lady screamed and fainted again.  "You know, I think SHE'S the only one who can't stand seeing my ears."

"Just wear the hat!" Kagome yelled, shoving the hat on his head.

"Why do you get to drive and I have to sit in the back?" Miroku continued to complain as he opened the door and climbed in the backseat.

"Well you're just complaining today, aren't you?" said Sango as if she cared.

"I haven't even BEGUN!" Miroku announced.

"Let's just go now." Said Kagome as she started driving and after a little while and then all of a sudden, they reached Universal Studious!  YAY!!

"Is this some kind of holy ground for demon exorcism and performing ritualistic ceremonies?" asked Miroku as he looked around.

"Um…yes…" said Kagome because she didn't feel like explaining anything because she KNEW that she was going to end up explaining more than she would want to so she might as well avoid explaining as much as possible.

"Oh!" said Miroku.  "I didn't know they had many of these in your world!"

"WHY are we going here?!" Inu-Yasha demanded.  "I know I don't want to go to a demon exorcism place and why do we get to do what Miroku wants to do first?!"

"I don't want to go here either." Said Shippo.  "Because…um…I'm a demon and I don't want to be exorcised."

"Does that mean there will be plenty of demons here?" Sango asked.  "Then I can help exterminate them…wait…you said that there are no demons in your world, Kagome."

"There AREN'T!" Kagome yelled.  "This is a THEME park!  We have fun here!!  We go on rides, we eat stuff that's bad for us, we…"

"Exorcise demons?" Miroku suggested.

"EXTERMINATE demons…" Sango corrected.

"Feh!" Inu-Yasha said louder than he needed to get more attention.

"I want food that's bad for me!" Shippo exclaimed.

Kagome ignored them as she parked in the parking lot.  But since she's an inexperienced driver, she crashed into a few cars on both sides of her before parking horizontally in a vertical space.

The five of them got into the excruciatingly long line so that they could get tickets and stamps so that they could get into the theme park.

"Why can't we just go in over there?" asked Inu-Yasha as he pointed to the exit door that had those little turning cross thingys.

"Because that's the exit." Said Kagome.

"And?" said Inu-Yasha.  "Can't we make it the entrance?"

"NO!!" Kagome yelled.

"So you'd rather wait in this huge line?"

"Lady Kagome." Said Miroku as he pointed to the group of girls standing in front of him.  "I've noticed that the girls in your world don't wear very much clothing."

"Yeah whatever." Said Kagome as they got in line.  The line was horribly long and excruciating.

"May I just decapitate everyone…?" started Inu-Yasha, reaching for his gigantically large weapon.  Kagome decided that at this point to confiscate the sword, magical staff, large boomerang and…um…Shippo's bow because he looked like a girl.  She tossed all the weapons in the trunk and locked it while they were all in a state of stupefaction so they didn't protest until after the matter and since they didn't know how to open the trunk, the stuff was very safe and inaccessible.

After a little while, they reached the front of the line and asked the guy for tickets and…

"You're just appearing in too many places." Said Inu-Yasha as he pressed his face up against the glass and looked at Sessho-Maru.

"Excuse me for trying to make an honest living.  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru as he stroked his puff as if his puff was insulted.

"Just give us our tickets." Said Kagome.

"Fine, fine!  Sessho." said Sessho-Maru, putting his hands up defensively and then giving them some tickets.  They took the tickets with evil glares and then got their hands stamped and then went in!!  They decided to first go on the tour of Universal Studios.

"And here we have the actual Adams Family House." Said the monotonous guy who was the tour guide.  All the people gasped and took out their cameras and snapped millions of lights and stuff.

"This is boring." Commented Inu-Yasha as he looked as though he would fall asleep any moment with his elbow resting on the window since he had the window seat.

Kagome was sitting next to him as she hit him on the head.  "Pay attention!" she commanded.  "You're being very rude!"

Miroku tapped Kagome on the shoulder since he was sitting next to her.  "I do not believe that Lucy used to live here." He said with wide eyes as he listened to the monotonous announcer guy.  He pointed at her camera.  "May I?"

"Um…sure…" she said, handing him the camera.

He picked it up and pressed the button.  "Fascinating!" he said, observing the camera.  "Would you mind if I kept your amazing light emitting treasure, Lady Kagome?"

"Sure, you can have it." Kagome started.  "It's only a disposable camera… and I've got a thousand other ones."

"Many thanks." Said Miroku, doing the one handed praying thing.

"This is an exceptional chariot." Sango said, bouncing in her seat.  She tapped Miroku on the shoulder since he was sitting next to her.  "Don't you agree, Miroku?"

"Ma," Miroku replied psychopathically.

"I'M BORED!!!" Shippo yelled, chewing on Sango's head since he was sitting next to her.

"If you're going to go to sleep then trade places with me," Kagome instructed to Inu-Yasha.  "I wanted the window seat but I nicely gave it up to you.  Now move!"

"Fine!" said Inu-Yasha as he and Kagome switched.

"Now we approach the lake." Said the guy.  "Oh no, it looks like it's Jaws.  Ahhhhhhhh."

Suddenly, a fake plastic shark came out of the lake.

"EEEEEE!!" said Kagome since she's just a wimpy girl and the shark had surfaced right near her.

"KAGOME!!" yelled Inu-Yasha as he jumped out of the top of the little car thingy and then used his little claws of blood move and blew up the fake shark.

"Err…right." Said the guy.  "Moving on."

Inu-Yasha landed back in the seat expecting Kagome to thank him and start crying but she slapped him on the back of the head.  "Why did you do that?!" she screamed.  "IT WAS FAKE!!"

"What?!" Inu-Yasha said, getting ungry.  "I protected you from that demon and this is how you thank me?!  You ungrateful little…!"

"Oh ho, what an interesting landscape!" said Miroku as he took another picture with fascination. 

"Miroku, don't take pictures of the trashcan!" Kagome insisted as she snatched the camera away from him.

"But I thought the point was to flash the light at everything." Said Miroku.  "Like these good people all around us."

"Yeah but the trashcan…" Kagome started.

"It may just be a 'trashcan' to you, Lady Kagome." Said Miroku.  "But we have NOTHING like this in OUR world!"

"Fine, whatever." Said Kagome as she handed the camera back to him.

"I'm hot." Complained Inu-Yasha.

"That's because you've got insanely long hair and we're in southern California." Said Kagome.

"Then let's LEAVE southern California!" said Inu-Yasha as he stood up.

"Why don't you put your hair up or cut it or something?" suggested Kagome.

"Cut my hair?!" Inu-Yasha demanded.  "Us (insert last name of Sessho-Maru and Inu-Yasha here) must have LONG, billowing white hair!!"

"Fine then put it up." Said Kagome.

"Do I look like a female to you?!" Inu-Yasha bellowed all too loudly.  The tour guide guy cleared his throat loudly and then continued with his tour.

"Yeah you do." Said Kagome.  "But if you put your hair up, you'll at least be a little less hot."

"WHAT?!" Inu-Yasha demanded.  "You dare say that I look feminine!  After all I've done for you!"

"Inu-Yasha…" Kagome whispered loudly.  "Sit down and shut up."

Of course since she said 'sit', Inu-Yasha slammed down on the ground with full force.

"WHAT DID I DO TO YOU?!" Inu-Yasha HOLL-ered.

"So bored!" Shippo whined as he floated by as a little balloon thingy.

"ARGH!!" Kagome yelled as she grabbed Shippo, hopefully, before anyone noticed.  "You can't do that while we're in my world!!"

"Do what?" asked Shippo.

"Turn into that balloon thingy." Said Kagome.

"Why?" Shippo asked.

"Because it's not normal." Kagome answered.

"Why?" Shippo asked.

"Because there are no demons in my world."

"Why?"

"Because they're…uh…all in your world."

"Why?"

"I don't know."

"Why?"

"I DON'T KNOW!!!"

"Sango, do you think that 'time traveling contraption' really allows people to go to and from the past and the future?" Miroku asked while pointing to the car from 'Back to the Future'.

"I don't know." Said Sango.  "But there's a lot that I'd want to change in the past."

"Ah yes." Said Miroku.  "Something like that would be quite useful."

"Do you suppose this 'Doc Smith' would allow us to temporarily borrow it?"  Sango asked.

"I'm sure he would once we've explained our reasons for needing it so much." Said Miroku.  "Perhaps that man who is controlling this chariot knows of his location."

Then Miroku stood up and made his way toward the tour guide.

"Excuse me sir, but you must remain seated." Said the tour guide monotonously to Miroku as Miroku walked to the front.  "Must I remind you that any or all injuries that you sustain during this tour are not the fault of the management."

"Yes yes, but I have a very important question to ask of you." Miroku said as he continued his journey to front of the bus/train/thing.  But the guy just made a stupid signal and said that he wouldn't start the tour again until Miroku sat down.  Then all the people started yelling at him to sit down because they wanted to see the rest of the tour.  But Miroku didn't WANT the guy to start the bus back up because then he'd lose sight of the car thing. 

"Sit down before I destroy you!" said the tour guide as he pulled out a lightsaber and started swinging it around.  Miroku took a few steps backwards and decided not to argue with the tour guide anymore since he didn't have his staffy thingy.  He sadly made his way back to his seat and sat down.

"Well?" asked Sango.

"He made me sit down." Miroku replied.

After a little while…the tour ended and they all got out and got some French Fries.  We ALL lurve French Fries!!  And it just so happens that the French Fry place was right outside the Back to the Future ride!!

"Oooooh!!" said Kagome knavishly.  "I want to go on the Back to the Future ride!  Do you guys want to go on with me?!"

"Em…sure…" said no one in particular.

So they all got in line and watched the little movie and then the guys took them into a little room and then they watched ANOTHER little movie and then they got in the car.

"GASP!!" yelled Miroku.  "It is the car from before!  Come, Sango!  We must harness its power!"

"Keep your hands inside the car," instructed some random buff worker as he slammed the door shut.

"My, my, well how do you like that?" said Miroku.

Suddenly, the ride started!!  It was very scary and fun!  And um…that's it.  So then they decided that they wanted to go to The Terminator ride.  Actually, KAGOME decided that she wanted to go on the Terminator ride and she just forced the others go on with her.  They got their 3-D glasses and that seemed to please our friends from the past a great deal.  'Oh!  Why is it that everything sticks out so splendidly?'

Finally, they reached the part where they wait in the room and the lady explains stuff to you and says 'super' a lot.

Inu-Yasha leaned over to Kagome who was, of course, standing right next to him.  "I don't trust that woman." He whispered.  "She is far too happy.  And why is everything 'super'?"

"Be quiet!" Kagome hissed back.  The lady took them into the huge place with a thousand seats and a stage in the front.  "Where should we sit?"

And with that, Inu-Yasha slammed down on the ground.  HAW HAW HAW!!

"Now wouldn't that be silly if we sat THERE?" laughed Sango.

"SHUT UP!!" Inu-Yasha as he looked as though he would destroy Sango when suddenly the lady came back and told everyone to take their seats and put on the 3-D glasses so they DID!!

Then it started and you know the whole shpell unless you don't but you can just pretend.  And then comes the part where all the destruction happens.

"No, I must protect all these people!" yelled Miroku, standing up in his seat, grabbing onto his little glove and taking the rosary off.  "PURGE!!!"

You can probably assume what happens here.

Later, everyone got out safely.  "Okay, I think I'll say this ONE MORE TIME," said Kagome as she gathered everyone into a huddle.  "All of these rides are fake.  They're NOT REAL.  Meaning that they CAN'T HURT US!!"

"We've heard this lecture a thousand times already!" complained Shippo.

"I have to keep giving it to you since none of you really seem to get it!" Kagome pointed out.

"_I _get it!" Sango said defensively.

"Me too!" argued Shippo.

"As do I!" Miroku said.

"Then why, oh why is there no more Terminator ride?" Kagome asked.

"That was a ride?" asked Miroku.  "I thought rides were supposed to move."

"No!" Kagome yelled.  "EVERYTHING is a ride here!"

"I think that the Terminator 'ride' was real though." Said Miroku.  "I mean, it might have started out as a show but someone broke in and was trying to attack all those people."

"I agree with Miroku for once." Said Inu-Yasha.  "If you had not taken away my abnormally large sword, I would have jumped forward FAR quicker than Miroku and destroyed that bastard!"

"For the LAST time!" Kagome said through her teeth.  "EVERYTHING is fake.  If someone tries to sabotage a ride, it's fake.  If a creature attacks, it's fake."

"Well, your world is pretty lame." Said Inu-Yasha.  "What good is a demon that's fake?"

"I'm going to try ONE more ride and if you guys can't handle it and end up destroying it than we're leaving, all right?" Kagome said as she pointed to the Jurassic Park ride.  So they all got in line for it.

"MUST we repeat it again Kagome." Whined Sango.

"Repetition is good for learning." Said Miroku as if he weren't annoyed with Kagome at the moment.

"Yes." Said Kagome.  "Everything that we're going to see…"

"Is fake." Said Inu-Yasha, Sango, Miroku and Shippo.

"If you attack something…"

"We will get in trouble and not be gaining anything."

"And?"

"And we'll leave."

"Good." Said Kagome.  "I think I've drilled it into your heads enough."

"PONCHOS FOR SALE!!" said some random guy on the side of the line.  Some random three people stepped aside and bought a poncho each.  One had a stupid pigtail, one had a yellow bandanna and one had long hair and large glasses.

"Why are you buying a poncho P-chan?" asked the guy with a pigtail in a REALLY gay sounding voice.

"Shut up Ranma!" said the guy in the bandanna.

"I would like a poncho, thank you very much." Said the guy with glasses. 

"What's a poncho Kagome?" asked Shippo.

"It keeps you dry since we're going to get wet on this ride." Explained Kagome.

"I think I'll take this 'poncho' as a souvenir." Said Miroku as he held up his new poncho that he had grabbed.

"Do you really want a poncho?" Kagome asked.

"Yes Lady Kagome." Replied Miroku.  "I really want a poncho."

"Can you not call me Lady Kagome in my world?" Kagome asked.  "Because it may be proper in YOUR world but we just get funny stare in my world."

"So what SHOULD I call you?" Miroku asked.

"Just Kagome?" Kagome suggested.

Miroku pondered long and hard.  "No." he said.  "I just wouldn't feel right."  Then he held up the poncho.  "Now how does this function?"

"See the lady in front of you?" Kagome said while pointing to the lady.  "Do what she's doing."

Miroku leaned over to Kagome.  "She looks ridiculous.  I believe that she must be using it wrong or this device is EXTREMELY primitive."

"What do you USUALLY use to keep dry?" Kagome asked.

"A towel." Miroku answered.

"So this is fake?" Inu-Yasha asked while pointing to the dinosaur statue that decorated the line waiting area.

"I think so." Said Shippo as he pounded on it.  

"Actually, I think it was stuffed or something." Said Sango.  "Like it was ONCE alive but caught by a poacher or something."

"Using demons as decoration?" Inu-Yasha asked as if he were appalled.

"OUR TURN!!" said Kagome since the lines go very quickly in this story.  They all hopped into the little cart and they got their own one since…um…there was a gigantic group behind them that wanted their own cart as well but didn't want to let anyone cut them.

"So…that one's fake?" Miroku asked, pointing at one of the dinosaurs.

"Yup." Kagome replied.

"So it poses no threat to our lives?"

"Nope."

"Is that one fake?"

"Yes.  And so is that one and that one and that one and that entire group of dinosaurs are fake!"

"How about that really tiny one over there?"

"No…no, that one's fake too."

"How do they move then?"

"Um…they're people in costumes."

Miroku gasped.  "There are people in this world who are that tiny?!"

"Yes." Kagome said since she didn't feel like explaining anything.

"Amazing." Miroku commented, pulling out the camera and taking a picture of the tiny dinosaur.

"This ride is fun!!" said Shippo as he started cartwheeling around like a foolish knave.  Kagome forced him into a seat just as the cart went over a sudden drop and plunged down into the water and they all got wet and stuff.

When they got off the ride, Kagome was laughing foolishly, Sango seemed a bit shaken, Shippo wanted to go on it again, Miroku tried not to let any expression be shown and Inu-Yasha just looked downright pissed off.  Kagome insisted on purchasing the picture that the ride people secretly took of you when you go over the edge.

"Look at Inu-Yasha!" shrieked Kagome as she started laughing.  "Great black mail!"

"What?!" Inu-Yasha yelled, looking over her shoulder.  "That's not me!  That's Miroku being next to me!"

"Well then where are YOU?" asked Sango.

"That's me!" Inu-Yasha replied.

"No…that's Miroku being next to you." Shippo said.

"You look absolutely terrified." Miroku observed.

"I do not!" argued Inu-Yasha.  "Look at YOU!  You're all like, 'I'm Miroku and I know everything but not really!'"

"I do NOT act like that!" Miroku yelled.  "Besides, who are you to comment when THIS is you, 'I'm Inu-Yasha and NO ONE can beat me except for a lot of people!  I get MORTALLY wounded ALL the time but I can still fight because it doesn't hurt me at all but it really does and I'm stubborn beyond all reason and lack any rational thought whatsoever!  Furthermore, I have an uncontrollable temper and I NEVER cease to get angry!  I can't help it when…'"

Miroku was silence by the entire group attacking him.

"Well YOU are always…" started Inu-Yasha.

"SIT!!" Kagome yelled and Inu-Yasha was slammed onto the ground.  "I think it's about time we left."

Suddenly, Fred Flintstone walked out while waving.

"OH MY GOD!!" Kagome shrieked.  "We've been here all day and have seen NO famous people yet and to see FRED FLINTSTONE, one of the most FAMOUS movie stars!!  Of course, the Flintstones are a little before my time but he's STILL famous!!"

Remember, they're cartoon characters so to them, a cartoon character is a movie star.  HAW HAW HAW!!!

Kagome ran up to Fred.  "MAY I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?!"

"Why sure!" said Fred Flintstone as he signed Kagome's autograph book.

"So what significance does this random man's penmanship hold?" Miroku asked as Fred signed away.

"He's FRED FLINTSTONE!!" Kagome screeched.

"There you go little lady." Said Fred Flintstone as he handed Kagome back her book o' autographs.  Kagome fainted.

"So in THIS world, it's better to be short, fat and ugly to get girls to love you and eventually get to grant fatherly services to." Miroku wondered while scratching his chin.

"Do you want an autograph?" Fred asked the people that were conscious.

"Feh." Said Inu-Yasha.  

"Um…I suppose…" said Sango.

"Do you want MY autograph?" Shippo asked as he held up a pen.

"And I have to go around asking if people want my autograph?" Miroku wondered.  So when Sango finished getting Fred's autograph, they all dragged Kagome out to the car.  Since she was dead, she couldn't drive so they fought on who should.

"Well, I'M the oldest." Said Miroku.

"Actually, I think I am." Said Inu-Yasha.  "I'm something like…sixty or whatever."

"If you want to get LITERAL…" said Miroku.  "But I've LIVED the longest."

"Well I've been AROUND the longest." Said Inu-Yasha.

"I'm taller!" said Miroku as if that meant anything.

"No you're not!" said Inu-Yasha.

"Actually, I think he is." Said Sango.

"HA!" said Miroku as he climbed into the driver's seat.  Inu-Yasha pouted and climbed into the backseat with Kagome.  "So…how do I get this thing to move?"

"You don't even know how to use it!" Inu-Yasha teased.

"Don't be ridiculous!" said Miroku.  "I was simply stating that to myself.  I've never seen such a contraption and I'm not an expert about how to function it."

"Kagome pressed these down here." Said Shippo as he pointed to the brake and the gas.  Miroku pressed both of his feet down on them both.

"Did she do something else?" Miroku asked.

"She spun this round thing." Said Sango as she pointed to the wheel.  Miroku jerked the wheel around for a minute.

"Perhaps it only works for her." Said Miroku.

"But what about all the other people who are riding around in them." Said Shippo as he pointed to all the other cars in the world.

Suddenly, Sessho-Maru walked by.

"May I help you?  Sessho." He asked.

"Feh." Said Inu-Yasha.

"Well, since you've helped us with pretty much everything else, you might as well." Said Miroku.  "This chariot that you gave us earlier seems to be broken."

Sessho-Maru walked over and picked the keys up from the dashboard and inserted them into the hole thing.  Then he told that the pedal on the right was to go and the pedal on the left was to stop and the wheel told the car which direction which way to go and Miroku insisted that it seemed easy enough and then Inu-Yasha threatened that he would smite Sessho-Maru if he didn't go away so Sessho-Maru left while pouting.

"Shall we go?" Miroku asked.

"I've wanted to go all day!" Inu-Yasha yelled.  Miroku pressed the gas all the way down and they screeched out of the parking lot while crashing into many cars and people and decorations and such.

"I think you're supposed to try NOT to hit things!" said Sango as she reached over to the wheel and steered clear of a group of orphans.  Then she steered away from a group of kids in wheelchairs that they almost hit.

"Sango, I think we should team up on this." Said Miroku.  "I'll press the pedals and you turn the wheel."

"I don't want to have to do this!" Sango yelled.  "Just do a better job!"

"Why is it going so fast?" Shippo demanded as he covered his eyes.

"I have no idea!" said Miroku as he flipped switches and pressed buttons and did all sorts of things until the all the cars lights were on, the windshield wipers were on, the left blinker was on, the top was stuck in between being closed and open and the radio was blaring music.

Miroku suddenly went over a giant speed bump and that woke Kagome up.  At first, she was feeling a little discombobulated but as soon as she realized the danger she was in, she started throwing a fit and demanding for Miroku to pull over.

"I was simply taking over the tedious job of driving while you rested." Miroku tried to explain as he and Kagome switched places.

"From now on, don't bother." Said Kagome as she pulled out her giant map.  "All right…where to next?"


	2. Arizona and the Grand Canyon

MUCH LATER!!!

"Arizona, home of the Grand Canyon!" Kagome said as they crossed over the California/Arizona state border.  "Of course, you guys don't know what the Grand Canyon is but you WILL once…"

"I know what a canyon is." Said Sango.

"And it's a GRAND canyon." Said Miroku.  "Meaning, of course, that it is large."

"Well yeah but this canyon is…um…special…" started Kagome.

 "What's so special about a really big hole?" asked Inu-Yasha.

"Well, here's what I want to do; I want to rent donkeys and ride them to the bottom of the canyon!" explained Kagome.

"And where does the SPECIAL come in?" asked Inu-Yasha.

"It'll be fun and it will be really pretty at night!" said Kagome.

"So we're going to ride donkeys around in a really big hole and then we're going to stare at it for a while?" 

"You don't have to ruin EVERYTHING all the time!" Kagome yelled as she turned back to the road.

"Hey!" Inu-Yasha defended.  "I didn't ruin ANY of the 'rides' at that stupid park place!"

Suddenly, Kagome stopped the car.

"Well, we're here!" she announced as if she wasn't in a bad mood two seconds ago.

Everyone climbed out of the car and looked at the Grand Canyon.  

"Fascinating…" said Miroku as he flashed the camera a few times.  He was probably out of film but he didn't know that.  For all he knew, the camera's main function was to flash a light.

Sango sighed all long and hard.  This landscape probably reminded her of Kohaku.  But then again, EVERYTHING reminds her of Kohaku…

"So bored…" Shippo whined as he floated around as a balloon.  This time, he found pleasure in chewing on KAGOME'S head since she was there.

"Uh…yeah…" Inu-Yasha said to himself.  But he feared pissing off Kagome again so he kept reasonably quiet.

Suddenly, a man with a snappy serape, a sombrero and a puff walked over with four donkeys being pulled by ropes.

"Here are your donkeys.  Sessho." Said the man.  (Guess who it is.)

"Are you stalking us or something?!" Inu-Yasha demanded.

"I simply thought you would like some donkeys to ride down the canyon.  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru.

"Um…thanks…" said Kagome as she took the ropes.  Sessho-Maru swashed his puff and disappeared.

"I don't see why HE has to be here too." Muttered Inu-Yasha under his breath.

So they all climbed upon their donkeys.  Shippo climbed on with…uh… SANGO simply because she…well…she offered first!  YAY!! 

Then the donkeys they were on began a-moseyin' down the canyon.

"So what's that?" asked Miroku as he pointed to a cactus.

"That's a cactus." Said Kagome.

"And what creature is that?" asked Miroku pointing to a tumbleweed.  "Does it pose any threat to us?"

"No." said Kagome.  "It's a tumbleweed."

"That would make sense." Said Miroku.  Then he pointed to a payphone. "And what about that?"

"That's a payphone." Said Kagome.  "Haven't I already told you about that before?"

"You might have." Miroku admitted.

"SO BORED!!" Shippo whined as he chewed on Sango's head.

"Does anything NOT bore you?" Kagome demanded.

"Well, we've been doing a lot of boring stuff!" Shippo admitted.

"Well admire the views and soak in the landscape!" said Kagome.

"This is a very romantic setting." Said Miroku.

"Yeah…" said no one in particular though it was probably Kagome as they sat there on their donkeys while looking at the beautiful large hole.  But they decided to leave as quickly as possibly because Kagome's donkey had just gotten turned on by Miroku's donkey and was now humping it.

They all got back into the car while just LEAVING all the donkeys there.


	3. New Mexico and a FANCY Restaurant

MUCH LATER!!!

"I'm bored!" whined Shippo.  "Can I ride in the trunk?"

"No!" Kagome snapped.

"You are now entering New Mexico?" Kagome said randomly as they sped by a sign.  Then she suddenly got cheerful.  "That must mean that we're in New Mexico!"

"Yes, we came to that conclusion already." Said Inu-Yasha.

Kagome glared at Inu-Yasha and then tried to make the mood happy again.  "New Mexico…" she said, chuckling knavishly to herself.  "What I wouldn't give to go to OLD Mexico!"

She only got blank stares and a few annoyed ones.

"I think you're all just hungry." She said, acting as though she were some kind of parent or whatever.  Then they stopped at some kind of crazy fancy restaurant. 

Kagome FORCED the others to get in some mildly fancy and pretty clothes so they ran in with newspapers above their heads because it had suddenly started to rain just because we just wanted them to run in with newspapers above their heads.  MWA!!  Of course, Inu-Yasha said feh and refused so now he's wet.  BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!

"What is that HORRID smell?" said some snooty New Mexican guy once the characters that we know and love entered the restaurant.

"Smells of…wet dog!" replied his New Mexican wife as she scrunched her nose like a fool.

Kagome swung around rather RAPIDLY to Inu-Yasha who was brushing himself off.  "If you had only put the newspaper above your head then you wouldn't be wet and then you wouldn't smell!"

"What?!" Inu-Yasha said as if he were offended.  "It's not ME!"

"Oh then I suppose the one emitting the wet dog smell is Miroku?" said Kagome, annoyed as she put her hands on her hips.

"Sure!" said Inu-Yasha.  "Why not?!"

"I don't see any OTHER wet dogs around here!" Kagome tried.

"I do!" Inu-Yasha said, stepping aside to reveal a blind New Mexican guy in a wheelchair with a guide dog that was shaking himself off after running through the rain beside his master in a wheelchair so the master was rolling.

"Oh…" said Kagome.  "Um…sorry."

"Feh." Said Inu-Yasha since he doesn't really care.  Then some French, yet still New Mexican, waiter guy walked over.

"I shall take you to your seats." He said knavishly.  He took them to a table and they sat down.  YAY!!  He passed out menus.  Kagome decided that instead of just letting them look at the menus, she'd just order food FOR them so she told the waiter that they were ready and ordered all the food and stuff and then the waiter left.

Everyone sat in a circle twiddling their thumbs foolishly.  There was the sound of an annoying violin playing right over their heads so Inu-Yasha spun around with this look of FOAM on his face!!

"STOP THAT INFERNAL RACKET!!!" he HOLL-ered a whole lot louder than he needed to.

"It's hard to play the violin when you have such a gigantic puff resting on your shoulder!  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru as he put his violin under his arm, stuck his nose up into the air and stomped away.

Inu-Yasha turned around and faced forward again, acting as though that was NOT just Sessho-Maru.

Everyone acted as though that wasn't Sessho-Maru either since he had been everywhere else so they were just expecting him now.

After a little while, the waiter came back and placed various plates of food in front of them and then left because he's stupid.  He probably exploded and this is for REAL!!

"Um…not to uh…bust your bubble or anything…" started Inu-Yasha as he looked down at his extremely well done slab o meat but also trying not to make Kagome ungry at him.  "But did you order me charcoal?"

Kagome looked over at his dish.  "No," she answered.  "It's meat."

"Why is it black…and…crusty?" he inquired.

"Well, I figured that you've only had reasonably rare meat in your life so I thought that maybe you'd want to try thoroughly cooked meat!" Kagome replied while getting horseshoe eyes.

Before Inu-Yasha could continue, Miroku interrupted him.  "Lady Kagome," he said.  "All the waiter brought me was this blackish gelatinous mass.  I cannot help but wonder where the rest of my food is?" Since Inu-Yasha was on one side of Kagome and Miroku was on the other side of her, she leaned over and looked at HIS dish.

"No, that caviar." She said.

"…And?"

"Since you're a monk and all I figured that you don't usually get anything special and expensive to eat." Kagome explained.  "And caviar is the most expensive thing on the menu."

"I hope you didn't pay TOO much for it." Said Miroku as he picked some up with a spoon and let it drop back into the little bowl thingy.

"Is this the least expensive?" asked Sango as she held up her salad.  "You seem to have accidentally ordered me an assortment of leaves again."

"Well I figured…"

"YUMMY!!!" exclaimed Shippo as he ate another chicken finger whole.

"You seem to have ordered YOURSELF something that looks mildly appetizing." Observed Inu-Yasha as he gnawed away at his slab of rock hard meat like a dog and looked at Kagome's dish.

"Well I knew what I wanted!" Kagome said with a nervous smile.

"Next time we go to a restaurant, ask us what we want." Suggested Sango.

"But what if you don't know what it is?" Kagome asked.

"Explain it." Miroku added.  "We could all learn from the process."

"MORE CHICKEN BLOBS!!" Shippo demanded as he hit the table with his fists.

"You're DONE?!" Kagome asked with amazement.

"Yeah." Said Shippo.  "Can I have more?"

"Can I have some too?" Inu-Yasha asked as he tossed his black thing behind him but it hit some random guy and killed him.

"Would it be too much to ask if I could get what Shippo had?" Miroku asked.  "Or at the very least what you have?"

"Mmm…leaves…" said Sango as she forced herself to eat the salad because she didn't want to trouble Kagome.  

Suddenly a man wheeled out a cart with a little black pig with a bandanna on.  The pig had an apple in its mouth and was basted in caramel.

"How about we just go somewhere else…" said Kagome as she stood up from the table and averted her eyes from the poor innocent pig.  "It wasn't a very good idea coming here anyway."

 "See?" said Inu-Yasha.  "You could have gotten me one of those and I would have been happy!"

"I said, let's go!" Kagome said as she walked out the door.  Everyone turned to each other, shrugged and walked out the door and back into the car.  Since it had been raining, the car was filled up with water so that it was like a swimming pool.

"WEEE!" yelled Shippo excitedly as he jumped into the car and swam around foolishly.

Kagome sighed and opened the door to the car and let all the water out.

"Hopefully all of our stuff isn't ruined." Said Kagome as she picked up the map and unfolded it to see if it was COMPLETELY ruined.

"Feh." Said Inu-Yasha.  "Like we had any stuff to begin with."

So after realizing that everything was in the trunk and not ruined, they all climbed in the car, sacrificed getting their butts wet and set off for their next destination.

"Next stop, TEXAS!!" Kagome announced, suddenly becoming cheerful.  She began driving along the road for a few hours when suddenly…


	4. Texas and Square Dancing

"Kagome?" said Shippo as he tapped Kagome on the shoulder.  "I need to go to the bathroom!"

"Can it wait?" Kagome asked.

"No!!" Shippo whined.  "We need to stop now!"

"FINE!!" said Kagome as she scanned the road for a gas station until she came to a NICE Sunoco.  HUZZAH!!  Shippo jumped out.

"I don't want to go by myself." Shippo whined as he stood in front of the bathroom door.  Kagome and Sango turned to Miroku and Inu-Yasha.

"Feh." Said Inu-Yasha.  "I'm not taking him!  I did it last time!"

"Very well." Sighed Miroku as he grabbed Shippo by the collar and dragged him inside the bathroom.

"How about we go into the little convenience area of the gas station while Shippo is reliving himself?" suggested Kagome as she forced them all into the convenience area of the gas station.

"Look at all this random assortment of items wrapped up in packages!" exclaimed Sango excitedly as she marveled at the Milky Ways.

"What do you want to get?" Kagome asked as she started grabbing handfuls of stuff that she wanted.

Inu-Yasha prowled about while sniffing all the candies and food and stuff.  Finally, he grabbed a bag of Goldfish and presented it to Kagome.  "This is what I want.  Purchase it for me."

"FINE!!!!!" yelled Kagome as if Inu-Yasha had just…um…done something really mean to her.  She got a bunch of other stuff and then gave it to the guy behind the counter.

"Well at least you're not Sessho-Maru!" laughed Kagome as the guy started putting the stuff in the bag.

"JUST KIDDING!!  Sessho." Said the guy behind the counter as he took off a costume to reveal that he was, in fact, Sessho-Maru.  So everyone just slapped him and left without paying him for all the stuff.  He started crying but they didn't feel bad for him because he's Sessho-Maru and Sessho-Maru is a knave.  They met up with Shippo and Miroku and got back in the car.  Since they all had the munchies, they decided to open a bunch of little snacks and chew and munch and devour them until there was nothing left.

"Ah, I LOVE Goldfish!!!" yelled Kagome as she hugged the bag.  (they had pulled over because no one could figure out how to open the food so Kagome had to do it for them)  Then she started singing the Goldfish jingle: The snack that smiles back at you until you bite their heads off!

As soon as she got to that part, everyone simultaneously turned their heads and looked at Kagome as if she were Hannibal Lecter.  "What?" Kagome said as she bit off the head of a Goldfish.

"I don't want anymore." Said Miroku as he leaned back in his seat.

"Kagome you are SICK." Sango informed Kagome.

"_I _didn't make that up!" Kagome defended.

"Why would you bite the head off something that is smiling at you?" Shippo asked as tears streamed down his face.

"They're SNACKS!!" Kagome yelled.  "It's not like they're REAL!!"

Even Inu-Yasha shook his head in disgust.

"You guys are way too oversensitive." Said Kagome as she started up the car again without making eye contact.  The next few miles were kind of quiet until they saw a sign that said 'Howdy!  Welcome to Texas, Pardner!' so they threw a party and the Goldfish were the guests of honor.

They stopped outside a big ol' barn with barrels of hay all over the place and other Texas stuff like that.  "Here, change your hat to fit in better." Kagome said suddenly, ripping the Takeblah hat off of Inu-Yasha and putting on the cowboy hat.  Inu-Yasha looked in the mirror.

"NEVER!!" he yelled, taking it off and throwing it at Kagome.  "I refuse to go out in public like this!!"

Just then, some random woman shrieked from behind them.  They all turned around just in time to see that VERY same woman fainting upon setting eyes upon Inu-Yasha.

"Don't worry, Miroku and Shippo are going to be wearing them too." Kagome assured Inu-Yasha as she stuffed it back on his head.

"We are?" said Miroku and Shippo obliviously at the same time.

"YES!!" Kagome yelled, tossing cowboy hats at them.  "We all have to change our clothes other than just our hats.  We need to fit in better.  After all, this is a square dancing place."

"Why don't WE ever get to choose where WE want to go?" demanded Inu-Yasha rather impatiently as Kagome got out and started fishing around in the trunk for clothes they could wear in a square dancing place.  "What do I care about square dancing?"

"You don't even know what it is!!" Kagome reminded him.

"That's ENTIRELY besides the point!" Inu-Yasha yelled all too loudly.

"Well, I don't care what you think!" said Kagome as she tossed Miroku, Sango and Shippo some cowboy clothes.  (Actually, in Sango's case, they were cowGIRL clothes.)  "We won't fit in unless we wear these clothes."

"You know…" whispered Sango to Miroku.  "I think that Kagome is taking advantage of our limited knowledge of this world."

"Perhaps…" said Miroku as he tried to squeeze his foot into a cowboy boot.  "Lady Kagome, this footwear you chose for me is quite uncomfortable."

"They're supposed to be like that." Kagome assured him.

"Perhaps they are too small?" suggested Miroku

"No!" Kagome said.  "They're the same size as the OTHER shoes I got you, I KNOW for a fact that they are supposed to be tight."

"Kagome…" Inu-Yasha said while tapping Kagome on the shoulder.  "These shoes don't fit.  I'm just going to 'square dance' barefoot."

"Just put them on!" Kagome demanded.  Everyone took Kagome's 'sudden' outburst as a hint and put the rest of their cowboyish clothes on without complaining anymore.

When they were finally dressed, they began walking toward some random barn so that they could ho-down and square dance and dosey-do and stuff like that.  As they all approached the barn, they noticed that it was bouncing around and musical notes were flying all around it to the banjo music accompanied by the mouth harp and the jug.

Inu-Yasha turned to Kagome. 

"Must we do this?" he asked.  "Are you TRYING to make a fool of me?"

"This should be interesting." Said Miroku as he adjusted his cowboy hat.  "Am I wearing it right?"

"Yes." Said Kagome.  "It looks fine."

"And are you SURE everyone will be wearing boots like this?" Miroku asked.

"Why do you have to ask so many questions?!" Kagome demanded as she pushed the barn door open to reveal numerous people dancing around crazily.

Some man shuffled over, a _chink_ with every step.

"Howdy pardners!" he said with his arms outstretched.  "Welcome to our hootenanny!  Grab yer pardner and join the fun!"

Then the man frolicked off.

"You heard the man, Sango." Said Miroku as he latched onto Sango's arm.  "We NEED partners."

"I'm sure." Said Sango as she dropped his arm off of hers.

"I was simply doing what they were doing." Said Miroku as he pointed to all the other people who were latched arms with their partners and spinning around in circles like knaves.

"I would rather run into Sessho-Maru again than dance like this." Said Inu-Yasha in the definite tone.

"You won't dance with me?" Kagome whined with her hands folded in the begging position with a pout on her face.

"I'd rather dance with Sessho-Maru." Inu-Yasha said, crossing his arms.  Then he paused.  "…Sessho-Maru is right behind me, isn't he?"

"No…actually he's not." Said Kagome with a nod.

"Really?" Inu-Yasha asked, turning around to see Sessho-Maru with a cowboy hat and a big stupid puff on his shoulder.

"GOTCHA!!!" laughed Kagome as if it were the funniest thing in the entire world even though it wasn't.

"Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru, holding up a jug.

"GO AWAY!!" yelled Inu-Yasha.

"You are growing up to be a rude little boy!  Sessho." scolded Sessho-Maru as he shook his finger in Inu-Yasha's face.  "Now I must go and play my jug.  The crowd awaits me!  Sessho."  Then he frolicked off.

Inu-Yasha was in that position with the clenched vibrating fist and was looking down so you couldn't see his eyes and a shadow covered half his face and stuff like that.  He stood there with 'battle aura' emitting from his body for a few minutes until Kagome decided to intervene.

"How about we just get a table and then we'll decide whether we should dance or not later?" she suggested as she dragged them all over to a table where they sat down.  And stuff.

Kagome was fidgeting insanely.

"Kagome," said Sango, putting her hand on her shoulder.  "Gain control."

"But we're at a square dancing barn!!" whined Kagome.  "And we're not even square dancing!"

"You WANT to?!" yelled Inu-Yasha, slamming his hand down on the table.

"YES!!!" Kagome HOLL-ered.  "I've never done it before and I want to try it!"  Suddenly, Cotton Eyed Joe started playing.  Kagome sprang to her feet and gasped dramatically.  "I love this song and dance thing!!  Come on you guys!  I'll teach it to you!!"

Yes, and she got EVERYONE on the dance floor.

Slowly but surely, she taught everyone what they had to do.  Shippo joined in while laughing and having too much fun as if he had just used some Loriell shampoo.  Inu-Yasha was kind of foaming at the mouth whenever Kagome tried to enforce the jig upon him but he just refused.  Miroku was doing it with an open mind and accepting new horizons.  Sango…well…um…she couldn't figure it out!!  HOW CRAZY!!!

As soon as everyone learned how to do it just perfectly, the song ended.

"All right, this is just stupid." Inu-Yasha concluded.  "Let's leave now."

"Will you just do this with an open mind?!" Kagome demanded.  Suddenly, all the little people there started dancing and spinning and doing stuff even while all of the main characters of the story were standing in the middle of the dance floor.

"Perhaps this could be fun…" Miroku said as he observed the crazy people as they grabbed hands with the person across from them and then danced through the tunnel of people they created with their partner.  (Use your imagination and you'll figure it out eventually.)

"No." said Inu-Yasha.  "No fun could come out of this."

"Yeah." Said Shippo with a sigh.  "Even though that other dance was fun, this one wouldn't be because I wouldn't be able to play because I am too small and I don't have a partner."

"I just don't feel like it." Said Sango.

"So are you ALL saying that we came all the way to Texas, wore the fancy clothes, went to a barn and you won't even square dance?!" Kagome demanded.  Everyone looked at each other and then simultaneously shook their heads.  "Geez, what do you guys do for FUN in your world?!"

"Exterminate demons." Said Sango.

"Not this." admitted Inu-Yasha.

"Help out people with my Houriki and exorcize demons to eventually bring good to the entire world." Said Miroku with a serious expression on his face.

"Um…stuff?" Shippo said with a shrug.

"Stroke my puff.  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru.  But then he walked away and everyone pretended as though he DIDN'T put his input in.

"Fine." Said Kagome.  "Have it YOUR way."

Then she led them all out the door and back to the car.  She noticed a horse and buggy right next to the car.  

"We didn't even get to go on a hay ride!" she whined.

"What's a hay ride?" asked Miroku.

"Is it anything like the rides at that other place?" Inu-Yasha asked.

"Can we go on the hay ride?!" Shippo asked.

"I'd rather just leave…" admitted Sango with a looooong hard sigh.

Kagome groaned and climbed into the car.  Everyone else followed suit.


	5. Oklahoma and Karaoke

"All right…" said Kagome as she started the car up and pulled onto the road.  "In order to fit in when we go to a few other places, you must still wear these outfits.  I don't have to however because…uh…I live in this world."

"People won't know that I don't live in this world." Said Sango as she took off her cowboy hat and her vest.

"Well…I suppose…" said Kagome.  "But the rest of you are a bit conspicuous looking."

"I'm not!" Miroku complained.  "I could pass off as someone from your world!"

"Um…no…" said Kagome because she really wanted them to just continue wearing the cowboy outfits.  "You've…got that arm wrap thingy and people in my time don't have those."

Suddenly, a kid with a broken arm walked by.  (Kagome had stopped at a crosswalk and the kid was crossing.)

"That kid has one." Miroku pointed out casually.

"No, that's different." Said Kagome.

"How is it at all different?" asked Miroku with a raised eyebrow.

"Because!!" bellowed Kagome.  "Now we're going to Oklahoma next.  And I just so happen to have this CD with the song 'Oklahoma'.  YIPEE!!"  And she forced them all to listen to the song 'Oklahoma' over and over until they finally did reach Oklahoma.  By this time, it was dark outside and kind of late.

"What is this place?" Miroku asked as he got out of the hideous green convertible.

"It's a Karaoke place." Kagome replied.

"Should we be wearing anything different so we should fit in?" asked Inu-Yasha sarcastically.

"No, I think you'll be just fine in the cowboy outfits…" Kagome started but then she turned to see that Inu-Yasha had completely gnawed away at his vest so it was in pieces all over the car.  "HEY!!  THAT WASN'T CHEAP YOU KNOW!!!"

"WELL I GOT BORED!!" Inu-Yasha yelled back.

"What's Karaoke?" asked Shippo randomly.

"It's where you go up and sing songs instead of the real singer." Kagome explained as if Inu-Yasha didn't just gnaw his vest.  She received a few blank stares.  JUST A FEW!!  "You know, you can only hear the background music and singers and stuff?"

"Um…no?" said Sango.

"Come on, I'll show you." Said Kagome as she pushed open the door to the Karaoke place.  There was a lady on stage singing 'My Heart Will Go On' way to enthusiastically while breathing too loudly and singing an octave to high and randomly holding out notes that shouldn't be held out.  Of course, everyone was throwing tomatoes at her but she didn't notice because her eyes were closed and even if she were to open them then she wouldn't be able to see because her eyes were welded with tears.

"This looks like fun." Said Miroku with a nod.

"Really?" said Kagome with sparkles behind her.

"No." said Miroku with a sigh.

Finally, the lady finished and spent an excruciatingly long time bowing and saying thank you even though everyone hated her and then she sat down again.

"Who wants to sing a song with me?!" Kagome said excitedly as she looked through the pamphlet that told them what songs they had.

"Must we remind you that we don't know ANY of these songs?" said Inu-Yasha, slamming the pamphlet closed.

"It's okay because they'll be displaying the words on the screen!" Kagome pointed out while gesturing to the television thing as if they should KNOW that that would happen.

"Oooh." Said Miroku, marveling at the screen.

"Will no one sing 'Stand By Me' with me?" Kagome said in the 'Damsel in Distress' tone.

"I will.  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru.

Kagome turned around and looked at Sessho-Maru.  He was standing there with a big ol' puff on his shoulder and a microphone in his hand.  Kagome thought that maybe she could make Inu-Yasha jealous if she sang such a ROMANTIC song with his rival/brother creature.

"FINE!!" said Kagome.  "I will sing with you Sessho-Maru!"  She looked at Inu-Yasha who didn't even seem to flinch.

"Oh, nice hat, Brother." Said Sessho-Maru as he linked arms with Kagome and began strutting towards the stage.

"WHAT?!" yelled Inu-Yasha, grabbing the cowboy hat, slamming it down on the table and standing up in his seat.  Within seconds, a woman shrieked 'THE EARS!!' and Inu-Yasha soon put the hat back on.

"All right, Sessho-Maru," started Kagome.  "We'll just alternate the lines of the song.  I assume you know it since you seem to know everything else about this world, okay?"

"Of course.  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru.

"Um…could you try not to say 'Sessho' after everything you say at least during the song?" requested Kagome uneasily.

Sessho-Maru looked confused.  "What are you talking about?  Sessho." He asked while scratching his forehead.  Kagome said whatever and then told the guy behind the counter what song they were going to sing.

Meanwhile, at the table…

Sango leaned over to Inu-Yasha who was sitting in the feh position as if he didn't give a care in the world about anything or the fact that Kagome was singing with Sessho-Maru for that matter.  "Inu-Yasha, aren't you jealous that Kagome is singing a song with Sessho-Maru?" she asked.

"Feh." Said Inu-Yasha.  "I don't give a care in the world about anything or the fact that Kagome is singing a song with Sessho-Maru."

"I see." Said Sango.

"I'm BORED!!!" yelled Shippo, turning into a ball with eyes and a mouth and chewing on Miroku's head.

"If Lady Kagome was here then she'd tell you not to do that." Said Miroku as if that was the only thing that was bothering him.  

Shippo turned back to his normal self.  "But I'm BORED!!"

"I can see that." Miroku said as he pulled a lasso off his belt.  "Here, entertain yourself with this rope."  Shippo took it with a confused expression on his face but after a few minutes, he seemed to LIKE the appearance of the rope!

"YAY!!" he cheered as he frolicked off and started playing with the rope.

Miroku laughed heartily and then looked at Sango.  "I am the mature one here, aren't I?" he said.

"Hardly." Sango replied.

Inu-Yasha, meanwhile, was being himself and watching Kagome and Sessho-Maru sing 'Stand By Me'.  It was quite entertaining because when they were singing together, he could randomly hear 'Sessho' thrown in when they were taking a breath or something.  He might have laughed but he's Inu-Yasha so he just said feh.

After the song was finally over, everyone applauded for them just because they did.  Sessho-Maru and Kagome bowed and were just about to walk off stage when Sessho-Maru grabbed Kagome's hand and kissed it while saying 'Thank you for the lovely evening.  Sessho.'  Kagome gasped and slapped him and then punted him through the roof because she didn't want any of Sessho-Maru whatsoever coming in contact with hers especially if he was KISSING her even if it WAS just her hand.

"Have fun?" asked Sango as Kagome returned to the table.

"No." Kagome answered plainly.

"But the harmonizing was so well done." Sango said.

"You're kidding right?" asked Kagome with a raised eyebrow.

"…No…" Sango answered.  "Sessho-Maru has such an abnormally low voice and you have a high pitched one so it clashed perfectly."

"Don't ever say that I have any sort of relation with Sessho-Maru!!" screamed Kagome as if it were something even remotely all that bad at all of the sort or anything.  Then she brushed her hair and pointed at Miroku.  "Okay, since I sang a song with Sessho-Maru, you have to sing a song."

Miroku looked offended for a second.  "Why do _I _have to sing a song?"

"Because you promised!!" Kagome lied.

"When did I do that?" Miroku asked, looking at Sango.  She shrugged.

"You don't remember?!" Kagome yelled.  "You liar!  You remember!  You're just trying to get out of it!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about!" Miroku argued.

"Come on, we ALL heard you." Said Inu-Yasha because he ALWAYS jumps at the chance to be mean to someone!

"I did not!" Miroku continued even though he was standing up.

"Yes you did." Sango joined in just because everyone else was ganging up on him so she decided that she didn't want to be left out of the loop.

"But I…" Miroku started but then he scratched his forehead.  "I don't recall making such a promise…"

"Well you did." Said Kagome firmly.  "So I'll pick you out a good song that you could easily sing along to.  AH!!  I found one."

"But…" Miroku continued to start again but Kagome grabbed him by the arm and dragged him over to the DJ guy who was being a knave over in the corner and stuff like that.  She told the guy what song to play and then gave Miroku the microphone.

"All right, just look at the words up there and read them along to the tune as they turn red, okay?" Kagome explained as the opening music started playing.

"I still refuse to admit that I ever made this promise." Miroku said as Kagome hurried off to sit down.  He looked up at the words as they began to light up.  He paused as nearly an entire line lit up.  "I get knocked…" he started but then the line changed.  "Um…I get knocked down but I get up again…"

"Use the microphone!!" Kagome called from the seat.

"How?" Miroku asked.

"What a moron." Said Inu-Yasha.

"I'd like to see YOU sing Karaoke!" Kagome said, trying to use reverse psychology on him.

"No," Inu-Yasha replied because that wasn't going to work on him.

Kagome sighed and looked back at Miroku who was still standing there obliviously as if he were singing but he obviously wasn't.  "Hold the microphone up like this," she said, demonstrating on what he had to do.  He followed what he had to do.  "Okay, and now read the words WHILE they light up this time."

"I will try Lady Kagome but I fear my heart is not in it." Miroku said back.  Kagome slapped her forehead.

"Um…do you want me to start it over?" the DJ asked, pausing the music.

"No, just continue the music," Kagome yelled back.  Then the music started up again.

Miroku cleared his throat just as the words started turning red again.  He opened his mouth and then cleared his throat again.  He banged on his chest continuously while hacking and coughing as the music played in the background.

"Hello?!" yelled the DJ, shutting the music off.  "You're supposed to SING, not make bodily functions!!"

"Please…" said Miroku.  "I am a monk."

"A monk dressed as a cowboy?" asked the DJ.

"I suppose…" said Miroku as he looked at his attire.  "Is this how a cowboy dresses?"

"I'm just going to start the song over again." Said the DJ.

"Very well." Sighed Miroku as the guy started the song again.  Miroku continued reading the lines as they just repeated and repeated and repeated.  "This guy just doesn't give up.  Is there anything else to this song?"

"I picked you the easiest song I could find." Said Kagome.

"But this isn't a song." Said Miroku.  "I fail to see the musical content, meaningful lyrics or basically anything of substance to this song."

"Hey!" yelled the DJ.  "Friar Tuck, if you're not going to sing…"

"I am a monk." Said Miroku.  "Not a friar."

"Whatever." Said the DJ.  "If you're not going to sing then please step off the stage and let someone who actually has some talent singing."

"I don't believe that I was singing so you have no right to judge me on how…" started Miroku.

"They must not allow you to listen to the radio much in the Abbey." Said the DJ.

Miroku gasped dramatically and looked at the DJ as if ready to just yell 'HOW DARE YOU!!' and then suck him into the void within him where the DJ would float around in Miroku for all eternity.  He stopped suddenly and turned to Kagome.

"Lady Kagome, I am unfamiliar with the term 'Abbey'." Miroku admitted.

"What kind of monk are you?!" demanded Kagome.  Then she gave an exasperated sigh.  "Just get off the stage."  She yanked him off the stage and then grabbed onto Inu-Yasha arm and pulled him up out of his seat.  "I command you to do Karaoke with me!!"

"Never!!" Inu-Yasha yelled.

"Well I could just say the S-word until you change your mind!" Kagome threatened.

"OH!!" said some random lady as she covered her child's ears.

Kagome turned around.  "Not THAT S-Word!!" she yelled as if she were embarrassed.

"If you say sit too many times then I won't be able to get up anyway, thus defeating the purpose of saying it in the first place." Inu-Yasha concluded, trying to sound intelligent.

"FINE THEN!!" yelled Kagome.  "SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT!!!"  And what followed was a series of smashes and what SOUNDED like quacking and then a period of silence.  "There, will you sing Karaoke with me now?"

"Never!" Inu-Yasha stuttered as if he were some kind of prisoner of war.

"Okay!" said Kagome as she took a deep breath and was just about to yell sit again when Inu-Yasha jumped up and covered her mouth.

"All right!!" he said.  "Just stop using that thing against me!  Make it a SHORT song!"

"YAY!!" cheered Kagome happily as she ran up to the DJ and told him that they were going to sing some random pop song that Kagome likes and we're at a lack for ideas at the moment.  Um…okay.

So Kagome got up and frolicked around while hugging her microphone and singing enthusiastically and occasionally pointing to Inu-Yasha, gesturing him to do a solo but he would just kind of stare at the screen in response.  He, on the other hand, was chewing on his microphone.  Hey, those things are TASTY!!  After the song was over, Kagome regrettably handed the mangled microphone over to the DJ who only gave her a questioning look and then tossed it in the trashcan and replaced it within seconds as if that happened a lot.

"Just admit that it wasn't THAT bad." Kagome said, poking Inu-Yasha.

"I've had better." Inu-Yasha replied, referring to the microphone.

"Sango, you haven't gone yet." Kagome said randomly to Sango.

"Oh, that's okay." Sango replied.  Just then, Shippo walked over all tied up in Miroku's lasso with swirly eyes.

"How did THAT happen?" asked Miroku as he picked up a piece of rope and Shippo came along with it.

"I think we should just go now." Kagome said with a sigh.  She looked at her watch and suddenly decided to become super mature.  "It's kind of late.  It's way past the bedtime of someone Shippo's age.  He should be going to bed just about now!"

"NO!!!" yelled Shippo just as he got free of the ropes.

"YOU HAVE TO!!" Kagome yelled, turning into a giant head as the five of them exited the Karaoke place.

"NO!!!" Shippo repeated.  

"I'm responsible for you!" Kagome continued.

"NO!!" bellowed Shippo.  And after the third 'NO!!' you just KNOW that whatever anyone says, he'll reply with a 'NO!!' even if you were to say, 'Is your name Shippo?' he would say 'NO!!'  TYPICAL!!!

"This just PROVES you're tired!!" Kagome said.

"NO!!" yelled Shippo.

And then they reached the car and everyone got in.

"Oh, can't _I _sit in the front this time?" whined Miroku.  "Inu-Yasha ALWAYS gets to sit in the front.  I want a turn!"

"And you were saying that YOU were the mature one?" Sango said with a retarded little drop.

"But I don't think it's fair!" Miroku argued.

"Too bad!!" laughed Inu-Yasha as if he cared about sitting in the front as he cackled at Miroku's expense.

Then they all abruptly went to sleep in the car.


	6. Kansas and...well...nothing...

The next day, they all woke up, stretched, yawned and cricked.  "Now we're going to Kansas." Kagome informed everyone.  "I don't really know of anything that's going on in Kansas at the moment so are you guys okay with it if I just drove right through it without making any stops?"

"No arguments." Said everyone.

"OKAY!!" said Kagome.  Then they started driving and singing 'How Much is That Doggy in the Window?'  Kagome tried to force Inu-Yasha to say 'RUFF RUFF!!' but he threatened to smite her so she just said it instead.

Then they entered Kansas, exited Kansas and stuff happened in the middle but not enough to put down on paper.  But they eventually made it to Colorado.


	7. Colorado and Skiing

"Welcome to Colorado!!" said Kagome as she parked at the bottom of a huge snowy mountain that had lodges and chairlifts and stuff.  "The best place in the United States to go skiing!!"

"Wow," said Sango, looking up at the mountain.

"Is that true?" asked Miroku.

"What's skiing?" asked Shippo.

"Can I change out of this outfit now?" demanded Inu-Yasha rather rudely.

"SILENCE!!!" yelled Kagome.  "I already called ahead and got all our skis and ski equipment and stuff since I'm so responsible and mature and organized."

"What's skiing again?" Miroku asked as they all turned around to see that all of their skiing stuff had magically appeared out of nowhere while their backs were turned.

"I color coded all your stuff so I could see you all easily and wouldn't lose anything." Kagome said as she handed everyone some duffle bags.  "Inu-Yasha is florescent pink, Miroku is vivid green, Sango is bright yellow and Shippo is this blinding color of orange."  Then she smiled like a dork.

"Can't I trade or something?" Inu-Yasha asked as he pulled the florescent pink snow pants that were overall-like.  "This is just ridiculous."

"No, that's the only one that that's your size." Kagome replied with a wistful sigh.

"No, I believe that Miroku's snow pants are my size as well." Inu-Yasha said, looking at Miroku who was fishing through HIS duffle bag.

"Sorry, I am far taller than you shall ever hope to be." Miroku said with a nod.  Then he gasped in amazement as he pulled out a pair of vivid green earmuffs.  "What fascinating devices!!  You need so much to ski!  I feel as though I won't be able to keep track of all this stuff!"  He pulled out a pair of goggles and drew back as if it was emitting godly aura.  "And what is THIS?!"

"Miroku, you're such a MORON!" said Inu-Yasha, swiping the goggles.  "As any INTELLIGENT person could see, you obviously use these in skiing as protective eyewear from the sun."

"Ah, I see it now." Miroku said, scratching his chin.

So they all got dressed after a VERY long time.  Kagome then escorted Shippo to Ski School.

"Are such large heavy footwear required for skiing?!" Miroku said since he was far too indulged in the whole idea of skiing.  "I can hardly WALK!!  I don't know if I'm going to be able to SKI in them!"

"That's why you put on the skis." Kagome explained.  "Hold on, I have to put my hair up first."  And then she put her hair up and Sango decided that she wanted to as well so she did.

"Inu-Yasha, you should really put your hair up." Said Sango.

"It'll get in your way." Kagome added.

"Men should not put their hair up." Said Inu-Yasha with a scoff.

"…" said Miroku with a pout.  "YES THEY SHOULD!!!"

"NO!!" argued Inu-Yasha.  "You're just weak humans and you need to put your hair up to be comfortable!  I, however, can go my entire life without even WASHING it!!"

"Too much information…" said Kagome, slapping her forehead.

"Shall we go up?" asked Miroku.  Then they put their skis on and that took even LONGER than it took to get their stuff on.  After a little while, they got in line and then got to the front of the line and Kagome decided that this would be a good time to explain how to get on the lift.

"All right, watch the guys in front of us." Kagome instructed.  They all watched as four flamboyant men got on the chairlift.

"That doesn't look so hard." Said Inu-Yasha.  He might have said feh at the beginning but…we didn't feel like writing it.

I bet you're thinking that everyone, in particular Inu-Yasha since he commented on it looking easy, had a hard time.  Well they DIDN'T!!  Boarding a chairlift is rather easy in case you didn't know and they are all very coordinated.

"Wow, is THIS skiing?!" Miroku said excitedly as he looked over the edge since he was on the end, sitting next to Sango who was next to Kagome who was next to Inu-Yasha on the OTHER end!!  "This is exhilarating!  But how do we get down?  Do we ride it down?  Hey, what are THOSE people doing?"

"…They're skiing." Kagome replied, looking at where Miroku was pointing.

"THIS isn't skiing?!" Miroku demanded as if he were appalled.  "WHY are we doing THIS?!  I thought you said we were going to go SKIING!!  You lied to us, Lady Kagome.  You took advantage of our limited knowledge of this world and lied to us."

"No, we're going to the top of the mountain so we can go down the mountain and going down the mountain is called SKIING." Kagome explained very patiently.

"Ah, I see." Said Miroku.  "I apologize for acting up on you without first discussing my issues."

"…It's okay." Said Kagome hesitantly.

Inu-Yasha tapped Kagome on the shoulder.  "Is this skiing?" he asked.  "This is stupid."

"Weren't you listening?!" Kagome yelled angrily.

"Listening to what?" asked Inu-Yasha.

"Never mind!" Kagome said with a sigh.  There was a very long and silent pause as they creaked up the mountain.  Finally, Kagome decided that she wanted and NEEDED conversation so she turned to Sango.  "You haven't said very much this entire trip." She said.

"Well…" Sango started as if she had rehearsed this.  "Miroku fills in all our conversation time with questions.  I don't want to sound like a rude idiot like Inu-Yasha if I state my opinion.  All Shippo ever does is complain about how bored he is and you do enough explaining that I pretty much understand because I listen to what you have to say and above all…" She then wiped a tear from her eye.  "I'm thinking about Kohaku."

"Oh." Said Kagome, at the loss of anything else to say.

Then there was another pause.

"So you never answered my question…" started Inu-Yasha.  "Why did we wait in line for so long just to sit here and ride this really slow chairy sitty thing.  If you wanted to go up a mountain, screw skiing and just WALK!!"

"Why do we have to wear these long shoe things?" asked Miroku as he started swinging his feet about.  "I just feel like a fool."

"I agree with Miroku, these long shoe things are rather stupid." Inu-Yasha said, poking Kagome.

"Oh look!" said Kagome happily.  "We're at the top!"

"Finally." Said Inu-Yasha.  "Can we go home now?"

"All right," said Kagome quickly.  "Put the skis on the mountain when we approach it and then push yourself off the chair and ski down the small hill and come to a stop."

"WHAT?!" yelled everyone but they were too late because they came up to the evil hill that spanks you and they all tumbled down the hill into a mound of… people.

So after spending quite a bit of time getting themselves untangled from their little mound, Kagome led them over to the edge of the mountain.

"All right." Started Kagome.  "This is a lot easier than it looks.  All you have to do is stand and keep your balance and just glide down the mountain."

"What's the point of that?" asked Inu-Yasha.  

"Like this?" asked Sango as she pushed herself off and began skiing like she had not only done it before but also had known what it was for longer than three seconds.

"Um…yeah…" said Kagome as she watched Sango disappear over the mountain in a blur of bright yellowy goodness.

"Hm…if Sango could catch on so quickly, it must not be THAT difficult." Said Miroku.  "Lady Kagome, why don't you go next?"

Kagome leaned over to Miroku.  "No, I want to see Inu-Yasha's first attempts at skiing." She whispered in Miroku's ear.

"Ah…" said Miroku.  Then he looked down the mountain.  "Well, here I go!"

Then he gave himself an all mighty push as if he were going to speed down the mountain like a professional skier but when the camera realized that it was following nothing, it backtracked to Miroku to see him slowly snowplowing down the mountain.

"I appear to be moving significantly slower than Sango." Observed Miroku as he dug his poles in the ground so the result only made him go SLOWER!!

"Ready Inu-Yasha?" asked Kagome to Inu-Yasha. 

"Feh!" said Inu-Yasha as he averted his gaze from Kagome.

"I'll take that as an oddly pronounced, 'yeah'!" said Kagome as she gave him a push on the back.  He said 'WHOA WIT WHOA!!' as he went over and landed face first and tumbled down the mountain a few feet before finally crashing into a sign that told you what the trails were called since there was a fork in the road… or…um…the mountain.  Sango was already waiting there and Miroku was on his way.  Kagome arrived moments later nearly collapsing with laughter as Inu-Yasha just started to collect himself and get back up.

"WHAT IS SO FUNNY ABOUT THAT?!" he yelled once he noticed Kagome.

"You should have seen the way you rolled!!" laughed Kagome as she slapped her thigh.

"You PUSHED me!!" he argued.  "That wasn't fair!!  I wasn't ready!"  At this point, Miroku reached them.

"Ah, what exhilaration!" he commented as he smiled like a fool.

"I don't see what is so entertaining about this sport." Said Sango wistfully.  You can PROBABLY assume she was thinking about Kohaku.

Kagome was just about to tell everyone that she was ready to continue their journey down the mountain when she looked at all of her traveling companions and realized that they were all wearing FLORESCENT colors and Inu-Yasha was wearing pink.  So she burst out laughing.

"What?" asked Inu-Yasha.

"Nothing!" Kagome said in between laughs.  "It's nothing!"

"Then why are you laughing at nothing?!" Inu-Yasha demanded.

"Never mind." Said Kagome.  "Let's just continue skiing."

Then Kagome pushed herself down the hill and skied off.  Miroku, Sango and Inu-Yasha watched her obliviously until she disappeared over the hill.  It was only THEN that it hit them that THEY were supposed to go as well.  So on the count of three, they ALL went.  (At varying speeds of course.)

They came to a three-way fork in the trail.  Kagome was nowhere in sight.

"Perhaps we should wait for Lady Kagome." Said Miroku.  "She probably knows her way around better than us."

"Feh." Said Inu-Yasha.  "Her stench is coming from this path on the right!"

"I think I saw her go left." Said Sango.

"And this center trail looks the least challenging!" said Miroku as if that pertained to anything they were talking about.

"I don't care which way the two of you go but I smell her over here." Said Inu-Yasha as he turned right and 'skied' off.

Sango turned to Miroku.  "I KNOW I saw her go left."

"I know but that run goes straight down and it's very bumpy." Said Miroku.  "At my level, I don't know if I will be able to accomplish getting to the bottom."

"Fine." Said Sango.  "You go down the center one and I'll go left."

And with that, Sango skied down the left trail and Miroku skied down the center.

Kagome skied up to where the three of them were standing earlier and looked around.  "Where are they?!" she wondered out loud.  "They couldn't be going THAT slow."

Then she looked down the middle trail to see Miroku going at his own speed and that he had gone about a foot.  So she skied up to him.

"Greetings Lady Kagome!" said Miroku.  "It seems as though Inu-Yasha's nose failed him and Sango's eyes failed her.  By following sheer instincts of the Buddha, I have found you."  But at this point, because he was doing the little one handed pray thing, he lost his concentration and fell over onto his side.

"Oh, let me help you…" started Kagome but she suddenly heard a siren off in the distance.  They both looked up to see someone in bright red spandex and a big white puff on his shoulder as well as a police siren/light thing on his head coming over the mountain at top speed.  Kagome got a retarded little drop when she realized that it was Sessho-Maru but she didn't have quick enough reflexes to move or react when he completely barreled her over.

"Ski Patrol!!  Sessho." he called as Kagome tumbled down the mountain.  He pulled a sled off from his back and put it on the mountain.  "Here, climb aboard little fella.  You are in good hands.  Sessho."

"Um…I don't think that is necessary." Miroku explained as he stood up.  "I have simply fallen over."

Sessho-Maru slapped his hands to his cheeks.  "DON'T MOVE!!!  Sessho." He yelled.  "YOU'LL MAKE YOUR INJURIES WORSE!!  Sessho."

"But you see, I don't HAVE any injuries…" Miroku started but Sessho-Maru turned into a giant devil head with pulsating veins and a puff and goggles.

"I KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT NOW GET ON THE SLED!!!  Sessho." He HOLL-ered.  Miroku immediately sat down on the sled.  Sessho-Maru very professionally whipped out a fuzzy itchy blanket, laid it on top of Miroku and strapped him down quite efficiently.

"I am quite warm and uncomfortable." Miroku said hesitantly.

"NONESENSE!!  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru as he continued to strap him in almost as if he had plans of keeping him there for more than thirty seconds.  "Now just a few more straps and you'll be on your way to the bottom!  Sessho."  He quickly took off his puff and put it on top of Miroku.  "Use this to keep you warm.  Sessho."  Then he strapped the puff down because he didn't want to lose something so precious.

"Not the puff!!" whined Miroku.

"Yes, my friend, I know it hurts.  Sessho." Sighed Sessho-Maru.  "But I'll get you down to the medical office as soon as possible.  Sessho."

Then he grabbed onto the edges of the sled and started skiing.  Sure enough, Sessho-Maru seemed to be an incredibly experienced skier because he went over all the jumps and did tricks and stuff.  So that's probably why he strapped Miroku down so much so he wouldn't fall out when they flipped over a jump.

But eventually they made it to the medical center, just like Sessho-Maru had promised.

"Another one?" said the nurse as Sessho-Maru threw open the door and staggered in with Miroku bundled up like a baby in his arms.  There were about fifteen other people in the room with that look that's all like; I'm not REALLY hurt!

"Yes, today seems to be very hectic.  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru.  Then he took his puff back.  "I need this.  Sessho."  Then he looked back at the nurse.  "Now, this man has numerous wounds and I would like you to throroughly treat them while I track down his parents and/or guardians!  Sessho."  Then he saluted them and left.

Sessho-Maru ran up the mountain.  He went UP the mountain.  And he went up until he found Kagome, Sango and Inu-Yasha since they were all together.  Yes, they WERE.

"Not him again." Said Inu-Yasha, rolling his eyes.

"It's…Miroku…Sessho…" Sessho-Maru managed to stutter as he crawled up the mountain because he just realized that he wasn't in as good a shape as he had thought.  "He's…injured!!  Sessho."

"Miroku's…HURT?!" said Sango.

"WHAT?!" yelled Kagome.  "AND WE THOUGHT YOU WERE HARMLESS!!!"  Then she whipped out a bow and arrow and shot Sessho-Maru.

He looked down at his wound, paused, and then yoinked it out.  Then he went right back to what he was doing.  "You must…help him!!  Sessho!" he stuttered but then thought for a minute.  "What's that you called me?  Harmless?  You called me, Sessho-Maru, HARMLESS?!  This shall not go unpunished!!  Smite!  Sessho."  And he drew his Tenseiga and sliced Kagome into a thousand pieces.

"KAGOME!!!" yelled Inu-Yasha as he watched her remains float to the ground.  Then he looked at Sessho-Maru.  "Why you…"

But then all the pieces reformed and made Kagome as if she wasn't just destroyed.  "Well um…that was weird." She said.

"Brother, my sword cannot kill people.  Sessho." Sessho-Maru explained when he noticed the dumbstruck look on Inu-Yasha's face.  Then he sighed.  "Well, now that you have been sufficiently punished, you must HELP Miroku!!  Sessho."  Then he started running down the mountain.  "FOLLOW ME!!  I KNOW THE WAY!!!  Sessho."

Sango, Kagome and Inu-Yasha looked at it each other with funny expressions.

"What has happened to my brother?!" Inu-Yasha said dramatically.  Then they skied after him and took all their skies off and stood outside the door of the nurse's room.

"Now, I must warn you.  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru as he stood in front of the door protectively.  "What you're about to see is not for the weak of heart.  It will shock and amaze you!!  Sessho."

"Exactly HOW hurt is he?" asked Kagome.  Suddenly, they heard Miroku yelling like a little baby from inside.

"AHHHH!!" he yelled.  "This is such senseless pain!!  Will the pain ever go away?!  MAKE IT STOP!!  MAKE IT STOP!!!"

"Dear God!" gasped Sango as she opened the door to see Miroku in the corner of the bed whining and kicking at the nurse as the nurse was leaning over trying to get her hands on the shot that was half sticking out of his arm.

"GET IT OUT!!" Miroku yelled.  Then he noticed Sango, Inu-Yasha and Kagome.  "Look what she did to me!  There's some strange, poisonous liquid inside of this and is trying to put this inside of my body for no reason whatsoever!"

Inu-Yasha paused and then looked at the nurse.  "Why such torture, wench?" he demanded.

"It's just something to help the pain subside!" she explained.

"PAIN?!" yelled Miroku.  "WHAT PAIN?!  THERE WAS NO PAIN UNTIL THIS!!"

"If you let me finish then there will be no pain." The nurse continued.

"It's just a shot!" Kagome yelled.  "If you would stop making such a big deal out of it then it wouldn't be that bad!"

"Are you sure?" asked Miroku.

"Positive." Kagome replied with a nod.

"Well…if you say so, Lady Kagome." Miroku said as he allowed the nurse to inject all that lovely…HOSPITAL stuff in him.  "I CAN FEEL IT!!  I CAN FEEL IT!!!"  And with that, his eyes rolled back in his head and he passed out.

Everyone paused.  "Well…that wasn't supposed to happen…" started the nurse.

"You've killed him!!" screamed Sango.  "You murderer!"

"He's not dead!!" Kagome assured her.

"Feh," said Inu-Yasha.  "You call THAT not dead?"

Kagome gave an extremely frustrated sigh that sounded more like a groan than a sigh.  "ALL RIGHT!!" she yelled.  "WE'RE LEAVING!!"

A little later, Sango, Inu-Yasha and Miroku were all in the car.  Sango looked very nervous since she was sitting next to 'a corpse' or what she thought was a corpse.  Kagome had frolicked off to retrieve Shippo from Ski School and at this point, she returned.

"Hey, who killed Miroku?" asked Shippo as he jumped in the car and sat in between Sango and Miroku.

"He's not dead!" Kagome said, as she flung open the door to the car.  She sat down and glared at everyone evilly, DARING them to say anything.

The ride was incredibly silent.  There wasn't even a party or conversation when they entered Utah until, of course, Miroku woke up.


	8. A Specialty of Utah

"MY ARM!!!" he yelled, kicking Kagome's seat, grabbing his arm and thrashing about.  "IT'S NUMB!!  I CAN'T FEEL IT ANYMORE!!"

Kagome clutched the steering wheel and pulled over to the side of the road.  "You LIE!!" she yelled.  "I don't believe that you can be cut in the shoulder that your arm nearly falls off but you can't even handle a shot!"

"Lady Kagome, do you have ANY idea what they did to me?!" Miroku demanded.

"YES!!" Kagome yelled.  "I've gotten plenty of shots before!  I get them every year!  Everyone does!  It's all part of being HEALTHY!!"

"How does injecting poison into someone's body keep them healthy?" asked Inu-Yasha with a raised eyebrow.  Kagome slammed her foot down on the gas petal and they all THRUSTED forward.  And then they decided not to talk to Kagome until they reached their next destination because they knew, of course, that she'd suddenly get cheerful.

"Um…Lady Kagome?" said Miroku suddenly.  "Uh…I was kind of over-reacting…my arm isn't REALLY numb…but it does hurt…"

"I figured that." Kagome replied as she suddenly stopped the car in some random parking lot.

"Where are we?" asked no one in particular but we can just say it was Shippo since he hasn't really said a lot.  But then again, neither has Sango.  So we'll say that Shippo and Sango said it at the same time.

"Come on, I'll show you!" said Kagome as she starting running toward what seemed like nothing.  Everyone shrugged and ran after her.  Finally, she stopped on a little podium-like platform.  

"What's this?" asked Inu-Yasha.

"Well, a while back, we came into Utah." Explained Kagome.

"And?" said Inu-Yasha.

"LET ME FINISH!!" Kagome yelled.  "So Inu-Yasha, you stand here…"

Kagome grabbed Inu-Yasha's hand and pulled him up on the platform.  The platform was separated into four sections by red paint.  Then she stepped down and grabbed Sango's hand and pulled her up into a different section of the platform.  

"You stand here…"

Then she stepped down and grabbed Miroku's hand and pulled HIM up.  They were all standing in different sections of the platform.  Kagome grabbed Miroku and Inu-Yasha's hands because they were next to her and instructed Sango to do the same.  Then she called to Shippo and told him to stand in the center.

"So…" said Inu-Yasha hesitantly.  

"We're all standing in different states!" said Kagome with horseshoe eyes.  "And Shippo's in four states at once!"

"SURAH!!" said Shippo as if he knew what Kagome was talking about.  Everyone else didn't REALLY get it but they PRETENDED to be humored because they had pretty much been whining and complaining the whole time anyway and they wanted to give Kagome a break.

"All right!" said Kagome.  "I'm done with this!" 

Then she frolicked back to car with a skip to her step.  Everyone followed more or less enthusiastically back to the car.

"Where to next Lady Kagome?" Miroku asked as he took his seat in the car that was more or less his permanent fixture for the rest of the trip.

"You'll see!" she said with a bit of a song to her voice.


	9. A Side Plot on the Border of Nevada and ...

After they had been driving for a little while, it was pretty late and everyone was tired, especially after a long day of skiing.  However, nobody wanted to sleep in the car because they were all sore and the car was doing a number on all their fragile backs.  (Except for maybe Miroku because he seems to sleep sitting up all the time anyway…)

Kagome pulled into a hotel area and parked the car.  (The hotel was on the Nevada/Utah line so they're not doing anything DIFFERENT in a state then the designated thing that Kagome had planned.)

They all climbed out of the car and walked into the place.  There was a guy behind the desk with a patch, a cigar, an unshaven beard and of course, a puff.

"Would you like a room?  Sessho." Asked Sessho-Maru.

"That's why we're here." Said Kagome.  "We'll take…um…two rooms."

"Yes." Said Miroku.  "Sango and I shall be in a room with one bed."

Sango took out a giant sledgehammer and crushed Miroku's poor little cranium.  Then she turned back to Kagome.  "Um…Kagome, I think you'll know what I am going to request." She said.

"Yeah…I thought so…" said Kagome as she thought of all that time that she could have bonded with Inu-Yasha just disappear.  "So I guess its Miroku, Inu-Yasha and Shippo in one room and you and I in another one."

"But of course.  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru as he handed Kagome two cards.  The five strutted down the hallway until they came to room 322.  

"This is our room…" said Kagome as she looked at the card and then handed the other one to Miroku just because he's older than Shippo and he most definitely wouldn't gnaw on it like Inu-Yasha.  "You guys are in room 351 which is at the end of the hall."  She pointed at the end of the hallway.

The guys shrugged and said whatever and took all their bags since they had brought them with them to the hotel.  Upon reaching the door with the 351, the three stood in front of it holding the card.

"Um…so now what?" asked Miroku, holding up the card.

"What are we supposed to…?" Inu-Yasha started, looking down the hall only to see that Kagome and Sango had already gone in the door.

"Looks like we're on our own." Miroku concluded.  "All right, little slot thing on door…card that is about the width of the slot thing…"

The three stood there pondering for a good five minutes when Shippo suddenly slammed his fist into his palm.  "I've got it!!" he declared.  He snatched the card away from Miroku and then slid it under the doorway.  They waited for something to happen but when nothing did, Inu-Yasha and Miroku slapped Shippo around a bit.

"It looks like we have to ask Lady Kagome for help." Miroku sighed.

"Feh." Inu-Yasha said, crossing his arms and scoffing like Fox.  "Do what you want to.  I don't need help from a useless mortal girl."  Then he sat down in front of the door with his legs crossed, arms crossed and that HARUMPH look on his face.

"You know you want her!!" said Shippo as he floated around as a little balloon and chewed on Inu-Yasha.

"Ma," sighed Miroku psychopathically as he shook his head.  He spun around and made his way down the hallway to room 322.  Upon reaching the door, he knocked it.  GO MIROKU!!  RAISE THE ROOF!!

Kagome answered it nearly immediately.  She was already in her pajamas.  "What?" she asked.

"We cannot seem to gain access to our room." He explained.

"What to you mean?" asked Kagome.

"Perhaps if you came to assist us?" Miroku suggested.  Kagome groaned and put on her bathrobe and followed him down the hall until they reached the room where Inu-Yasha and Shippo were waiting.

"Okay, so where's the key?" Kagome said, looking around.

"Key?" said Miroku, confused.

"You know, the card I gave you?"

"Oh yes." Miroku said with a nod.  "We couldn't get it to work no matter what we did.  We tried and tried but nothing happened."

"So…where is it?" Kagome tried again.  Shippo pointed to the door.  "Are you telling me that you slid the card under the door crack in vain hope that THAT would open the door?!"

"We figured that there must be some sort of man-eating demon in there that prevents us from entering and requires a sacrifice so that is why the card is distributed to the guests of this building." Miroku explained.  Kagome slapped her forehead.

"Wait here." She commanded as she disappeared into her room and then returned a moment later with another card in her hand.  "I'm glad I decided to ask Sessho-Maru to give us two of your keys."

"Very clever, Lady Kagome." Miroku complimented.

"This is what you do." Said Kagome as she inserted the card into the slot so that a couple of little lights lit up and then the door opened.

"I KNEW it!" said Miroku.

"Then why didn't you suggest it in the first place?" Asked Inu-Yasha.

"Because I wasn't quite sure that I was right." Miroku said with a shrug as the three masculine figures of the group walked into their room.

"I CLAIM THIS BED!!!" Shippo yelled as he jumped on one of the two beds.

Inu-Yasha walked over to Shippo and picked him up by the head.

"So what you're saying is that Miroku and I have to share a bed?" Inu-Yasha asked with a big shadowing covering half of his face with a big evil look on his face.

"No." said Miroku as he sat down on the other bed.  "You and Shippo have to share a bed.  I get this one to myself."

"There's no way I'm sharing a bed with ANYONE!" Inu-Yasha bellowed louder than he really should have.

"Well you were last to claim a bed for yourself." Explained Miroku.

"Since I was first, I think that I should get a bed by myself." Said Shippo.

"It would make far more sense for the smaller member of the group to share a bed with someone else." Said Miroku.  "And since Inu-Yasha voiced his claim for a bed the slowest, the smallest member, namely you Shippo, shares with Inu-Yasha, the slowest member."

"Wanna fight me Miroku?!" Inu-Yasha asked.

"Certainly not." Said Miroku.

"Then give up that bed!!" 

"No."

"YES!!!"

Suddenly, there was some banging from the wall behind the beds.

"KEEP IT DOWN IN THERE!!" came a muffled voice from the next room.

MEANWHILE!!!

"I saw that this place had a swimming pool." Said Kagome.  "So maybe tomorrow we can go swimming."

"Yeah." Said Sango.  "I mean, I doubt any of the males in our group have bathed very much during this trip so I guess the pool will clean them a LITTLE."

"I'm SO glad this place had a shower!" said Kagome.  "I was starting to feel disgusting!"

"Yeah." Said Sango even though her last answer had started with 'yeah' last time as well. 

"Do you think the others will take advantage of the shower?" asked Kagome.

"Inu-Yasha…no…I don't think so." Answered Sango.  "He even admitted to not washing his hair for a while."

"Do you think he was serious?" Kagome asked.

"I don't know." Said Sango.  "I don't care either."

MEANWHILE!!

"I'm going to go use the bathing facilities." Said Miroku as a placed another demon ward on his bed.  "If either of you even THINK about touching this bed…"

"Don't worry!" said Inu-Yasha with an annoyed tone to his voice. 

Miroku had suddenly remembered his large collection of demon wards and gone crazy with them.  He had put some wards all over his bed so he forced Shippo and Inu-Yasha to share a bed.  He also put one on the TV remote control and the TV so that he could watch the programs that he wanted.  

"All right." Said Miroku as he walked into the bathroom to explore and figure out how to use a shower.  If it was ANYTHING like using a sink, then Miroku knew that he was in for a VERY hard time.

Inu-Yasha and Shippo, meanwhile, were sitting on opposite sides of the bed glaring at each other.

"Feh," Inu-Yasha said suddenly.  "I don't even know why I was arguing over the bed in the first place.  I'd much rather sleep outside."

"Fine then I get this WHOLE bed to myself!!" Shippo declared as he smothered himself out as far as he could on the bed.  Something about the fact that the bed was so huge and Shippo was so small annoyed Inu-Yasha to the extent in which he decided that he DID want to sleep in the bed.

 After ten minutes or so, Miroku emerged from the bathroom wearing one of the bathrobes that the hotel had provided.  "You both should try it." He said as he contently sat down on the bed and picked up a towel and began to dry his hair.  "Hot water bathing is more enjoyable than I had ever dreamed.  No wonder Lady Kagome always talks so continuously about it on end!"  He paused.  "Besides, you both stink."

"How dare you!!" Inu-Yasha yelled, standing up and shaking his fist at Miroku who only pulled himself up even further onto the bed so that he would be protected by his own demon wards.  Inu-Yasha crossed his arms.  "Feh.  You are more cowardly than I thought."

"Perhaps." Miroku replied.  "But I'd rather not die over something so incredibly petty."

Inu-Yasha scoffed and didn't reply so Miroku grabbed his bag that Kagome had packed for him and pulled it up onto his bed.  He opened it and looked inside to see little notes on various outfits.  "This one is labeled 'pajamas'." He commented, picking up a piece of paper and then a set of pajamas that were just the typical red plaid stuff.

"What are pajamas?" asked Shippo.  "I'VE never worn them before."

"Lady Kagome informed me of this once before." Miroku said, going into deep thought.  "Pajamas are garments that you have to specifically wear to bed to sleep in."

"What's the point of that?" asked Inu-Yasha as if the mere thought of wearing pajamas offended him.

"Try looking through your bags to see what Lady Kagome has packed you." Miroku suggested, pointing to the little bags over in the corner.  Shippo hopped over to his bag and flung it open.  It didn't take him long to find the set of clothing labeled 'pajamas'.

"Look what Kagome packed for me!!" Shippo exclaimed, holding up his blue sleepers with Winnie the Pooh on the pocket.

Miroku and Inu-Yasha got retarded little drops as they watched Shippo strip down his clothing right then and there and change into his sleepers and parade about as if he didn't look just a LITTLE silly but then again, he IS a little kid.  Now, it WOULD look silly of Miroku or Inu-Yasha wore them but they're not.  And no, that's not going to come back and bite us in the butt because Kagome did not pack Inu-Yasha sleepers.  Now THAT would be silly.

So Miroku changed into the plaid red pajamas while commenting about how darned comfortable they were and how he might very well just wear them tomorrow.

"And the bottom even matches the top so Lady Kagome will approve of my style." Continued Miroku.  "It feels good to get out of those uncomfortable 'cowboy' clothes too!"

"Where do you think Kagome put our original clothes?" Inu-Yasha asked.

"I don't know." Admitted Miroku.  "I've been searching through all my bags but I can't seem to find them!"

"How sad." Said Shippo.  

So then the three of them yawned and simultaneously went to sleep.  

Actually they didn't because none of them were actually tired.  Shippo built himself a fort out of pillows and sheets and decided to sleep in it for the night except he wasn't doing much sleeping.  Inu-Yasha was wearing in the bed because it wasn't comfortable unless it was a LITTLE worn out.  Miroku was…uh… he was…um…reading a best selling novel with his reading glasses on.

But those activities don't last long and the three of them grew fidgety and edgy and NEEDED to do something!!

MEANWHILE!!! 

"I'm going to go check on Inu-Yasha." Said Kagome as she stood up and walked toward the door.

"He's not a little kid." Said Sango.  "I'm sure he's all right."

"Well, I'm just worried that he might have torn apart the room or something." Said Kagome.

"Miroku and Shippo are there." Said Sango.

"Yeah, but I'd still feel better going to see him." Said Kagome.  Little did Sango know but Kagome's REAL intentions were to find that bonding time that she had originally planed.  *Insert Kagome's evil laugh here*

"Good thing I decided to get this THIRD key!" said Kagome to herself as she held up the card with a sinister look on her face.  She walked up to room 351 and stood outside the door.  Now how could she get rid of Miroku and Shippo?

Suddenly, the door swung open and Miroku walked out.  He didn't notice Kagome because the door had opened in her face so she was covered.  He closed the door behind him and began wandering down the hall.  

"Well…" said Kagome to herself.  "Now I just have to get rid of Shippo…"

But what if Inu-Yasha got mad at her?  What if Shippo didn't go away?

Kagome didn't care!  She wanted her bonding time so she inserted the key in the door.  She opened it slowly to see that the lights were off.

"OI MIROKU!!" said Inu-Yasha.  "Help me find the lights!"

"Um…okay!" said Kagome in her lowest voice.

Then suddenly, the lights flipped on and Inu-Yasha was RIGHT in Kagome's face looking all PISSED OFF as usual.

"How'd you know it was me?!" Kagome demanded.

"I could smell your disgusting stench from all the way down the hall!" Inu-Yasha said.

"Then why did you call me Miroku?!"

"Because I wanted to see what your reaction would be." Inu-Yasha replied.  "Whether or not you would attempt to go along with it or if you would rightfully admit that you had come to SPY on me to make sure that I didn't tear apart this room or Shippo!"

"That's not true!" Kagome yelled.

"These ears do more than just frame my face you know!" Inu-Yasha argued.

"You heard that?!" Kagome said, looking distressed.

Inu-Yasha…well…he looked confused.  "Seriously?" he said with a raised eyebrow and that all skeptical look.  "I was just saying that to see what your reaction would be."

"Will you stop doing that then?!" Kagome said angrily.  "It's annoying how you use me in your experiments just to see what my reaction will be to something so idiotic!"  She cleared her throat.  "So…can I come in or are you just going to make me stand out here in the hallway like a fool?!"

Inu-Yasha laughed at her expense and then slammed the door on her face.

"Why didn't you let Kagome in?!" whined Shippo.

"Because this is the MAN'S room!!" Inu-Yasha yelled back.

"But I want to hang out with Kagome!" Shippo continued.

"Then GO!!" Inu-Yasha yelled, grabbing Shippo, opening the door and tossing him at Kagome who hadn't moved yet.

Then he slammed the door behind him and wiped his hands looking all satisfied.

Kagome grinned to herself and strutted off back to her room while she caressed Shippo lovingly in her arms.  She went in her room to see Sango sitting there watching the television obliviously and rather zombiishly.

"What are you grinning about?" asked Sango once she noticed Kagome.

"I can't believe Inu-Yasha actually put on those pajama's I packed him with the cow on it that said 'moo'." Kagome replied.

"I guess I was wrong." Said Sango with a sigh.  "I was so sure that he had a little more pride than that."

"I guess not." Said Kagome with a shrug.  Then they chuckled like fools for a minute and then yawned and crawled into their beds where they would snuggle up for the night.  Shippo jumped into bed with Kagome and they turned off the lights and went to sleep.

MEANWHILE, Miroku had returned to the room with a little bucket of ice since he figured that since the ice was available, he MUST have some.

"This ice here…" said Miroku as he put a demon ward on the bucket.  "It's mine." 

"I wasn't going to take any." Said Inu-Yasha.

"Yes you were." Said Miroku.  "I could TELL just by looking at you."

"I seriously didn't even know you even HAD ice until you announced it." Admitted Inu-Yasha.

"Where's Shippo?" Miroku asked as he looked around.

"Um…I threw him out because he was annoying me." Said Inu-Yasha.

"Oh okay." Said Miroku.

"You're annoying me too."

"So?" said Miroku with a raised eyebrow.  "You can't throw ME out!"

"WANNA FIGHT?!" Inu-Yasha yelled.

"Not now." Said Miroku calmly.

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH NOW?!"

"Not HERE."

"WHY CAN'T WE HERE?!"

Suddenly there was a knock at the door.

"That must be Shippo." Said Inu-Yasha.  "Don't let him in."

"What if it's one of the girls?" Miroku asked.  "What if they're scared and need comforting?"

"All the more reason not to open the door."

The knocking continued.

"WE'RE NOT LETTING YOU IN!!" Inu-Yasha yelled.

Miroku made his way over to the door and opened it to see this rather large man in a red plaid robe standing there looking angry.

"Ah!" said Miroku.  "The patterns on our clothing match!"

"Don't give me that!" said the guy.  "You guys have been yelling at each other all night and we're trying to sleep.  We have a hard day tomorrow and a three year old who needs to go to bed!"

"I'm sorry to hear that." Said Miroku.  "But you see, my friend over here is quite the loud one…"

"Why don't you come over here and say that again Miroku!" Inu-Yasha yelled.

"As you can see he can't seem to keep his mouth shut." Miroku continued.

"I don't want to hear anymore yelling from over here!" said the guy.  "Otherwise, I'll contact the front desk."

"Very well." Said Miroku as he did the one handed pray.  Then Inu-Yasha came over and slammed the door closed in one quick jerk.

"Bastard…" said Inu-Yasha.

"Well Inu-Yasha…" started Miroku.  "What shall we entertain ourselves with now?  I saw interesting edible circular rings by the pool.  They were quite good!  We could go and have some of those."  Then stopped and thought.  "We could always go and retrieve some more ice or…uh…" But he stopped when he got the death glare from Inu-Yasha.  "Or perhaps we could just call it a night…" He then climbed into his bed.

"I think I SHALL!!" Inu-Yasha said, climbing into the bed not infested with demon wards.

And then they went to sleep.

THE NEXT DAY!!!

Sango was awakened early the next morning because Kagome had abruptly pulled open the shades.  Sango looked up to see that Kagome was fully dressed and looked like she had been up for hours.

"RISE AND SHINE!!" Kagome yelled.  She pulled out her watch to show that it was 6:04 am.  "You've wasted FOUR minutes of the day!  LOOK AT THIS!!  LOOK AT THIS!!" Then she shoved her watch in Sango's face.

Sango just nodded and pretended that she knew what a watch was and how to tell time.

Shippo was still sleeping in his little fort but Kagome just kicked it over.  "WAKE UP!!"

"ARGH!!" Shippo yelled.

"Let's go wake up the boys!" said Kagome as she frolicked down the hall to room 351.  She went to pull the key out but she realized that she didn't have it.  She concluded that Inu-Yasha had stolen it BEFORE she concluded that she had simply left it in the room.

So in attempt to get their attention, she starting banging and yelling on their door.

"STOP SHOUTING!!" yelled the angry guy with the same pajamas as Miroku.

"Sorry…" said Kagome.  Then she started knocking on the door but not too harshly.

No one came.

"Hello?" she said a little loudly but not TOO loudly.  "I know you're in there!  Inu-Yasha, you can hear me, right?"

Meanwhile inside the room…

Yes, Inu-Yasha could hear her good and well but he chose to ignore her because maybe she'll go away.  Miroku, with his un-doglike hearing, was still sleeping like a widdle baby.

"Hm…" said Kagome because she knew that Inu-Yasha would have heard her by now.  "Maybe they're exploring the hotel or swimming or something."

Then she walked off.  Inu-Yasha, feeling quite pleased with himself, went back to sleep.

Kagome entered her room again to see Sango and Shippo were fully dressed.  Actually, Sango was.  Shippo had decided on wearing his pajamas for the day and no one was going to tell him otherwise.

"Miroku and Inu-Yasha getting ready?" Sango asked.

"They weren't in their room." Said Kagome.

"They weren't?" asked Sango.  "Then where are they?"

"I don't know." Said Kagome.  "I suppose they're somewhere around the hotel."

"So we have to FIND them?" Shippo whined.

"It shouldn't be TOO hard." Said Kagome.  "It's not like they're quiet or NOT accident/mess prone."

"True." Said Sango.  Then the three of them stood up and began searching the halls in every which way and asking random bystanders who like to get up early if they had seen a boy with long white hair and dogs ears or any signs of his little friend, the delinquent monk.

"Nope." Said one random old guy.  "I've been wandering this hallway since 4:30 this morning and I haven't seen anyone who fit your two descriptions." Then he walked away with his walker. 

MEANWHILE!!

Miroku woke up.  He didn't know why he had woken up so early, he had no reason to be awake but he decided that he felt like exploring.  He did not, however, feel like exploring alone so he woke up Inu-Yasha who was not amused but Miroku used Inu-Yasha's own threat against him and threatened to smite him if he didn't get up straight away.

"Come Inu-Yasha, we must go to the pool area." Said Miroku.  "That is where they hold the edible circular rings."

"I don't care!" said Inu-Yasha as they walked out of the room and toward the poolroom.

MEANWHILE!!

"They weren't in the poolroom!" said Shippo as he munched on a donut (AKA edible circular ring) because he had the munchies.

"Hm…" said Kagome.  "We've checked everywhere else!"

"Are you SURE they weren't in the poolroom?" asked Sango as she observed Miroku in the poolroom as he selected a chocolate donut.  (Miroku: OH!!)  Yes, the donuts ARE in the poolroom!!  Have you ever been in hotel where they are NOT?!

The girls and Shippo groaned and walked into the poolroom.

"We're LATE!!" Kagome yelled.  "Where were you?!" 

"Never you mind." Said Miroku.   "It is of no importance."

So Kagome groaned, said whatever and soon enough they were packed back up and loaded into the car and ready to reach their next destination; Nevada.


	10. Nevada and a Vegas Casino

"ARGH!!" Kagome yelled.  "We are SO behind schedule!"

"Then why don't we abandon this stupid thing and run the rest of the way?!" Inu-Yasha asked as he banged on the side of the car.  Kagome chose to ignore him.

"Our reservations are for 9:00 so we only have two hours to get there!" Kagome continued.

"Reservations for what?" asked Sango.

"For our next stop in Nevada." Answered Kagome.

"Just drop the surprise thing and tell us what it is." Demanded Inu-Yasha.

"Fine." Said Kagome.  "I'm taking you guys to a casino in Las Vegas."

Everyone that wasn't Kagome just kinda sat in the car in silence for a second or two.

"OH!" said Sango.  "A CASINO!"

"Lady Kagome, I'm so happy!" said Miroku.

"You know what a casino is?" Kagome asked.

"Um…no…" admitted Miroku.  Kagome sighed and handed him a brochure.  Miroku began looking through the brochure with extreme interest.  "These pictures are nice looking!  These people look like they're having so much fun!  What interesting colors!"

"You are FAR too easily humored." Said Inu-Yasha in the 'feh' tone.

"What's this in the fine print?" Miroku asked as he squinted to read some microscopic writing at the bottom of the brochure.  "No one under the age of twenty one permitted?"

"I guess no 'casino' for us." Said Inu-Yasha.  

"Too bad." Said Sango.  "I wanted to figure out what it was like."

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" Shippo cried.

"It doesn't matter!" Kagome yelled.  "I talked to the manager!"

"So we're permitted in?" asked Sango.

"Technically…yes…" Kagome answered.

"What about UNtechnically?" asked Inu-Yasha.

"Well…we're not allowed in the ADULT section of the casino but we've got FREE range of the kid section!" Kagome said while avoided everyone's gaze by keeping her eyes fixated on the road.  "And if we get there before 9:00, we get twenty extra tokens!"

"Kagome, don't make me kill you." Said Inu-Yasha.  "Drive past this place and RIGHT to the next state."

"NO!" said Kagome.  "I sent an insanely large amount of money to this casino to have our tokens ready and everything else like that!"

"What?" Miroku asked.  "You've been using currency during this whole trip?  Where did you get it all?"

"AH!!" Kagome exclaimed.  "WE'RE HERE!!"

Then she pulled the car into the casino and parked it.  Everyone climbed out and followed Kagome to the entrance.  They were JUST about to go in when suddenly Kagome veered to the right and went in ANOTHER entrance where the door was a giant clown's mouth.  The clown was laughing and greeting them.  (Or at least the speaker next to it that was playing was laughing and greeting them.)

"I don't trust this place." Said Inu-Yasha.

"Yes." Said Miroku.  "Why would I want to INTENTIONALLY walk into some demonic creature's mouth where we would surely be devoured and killed?"

"What have I told you about everything in my world?" Kagome asked.

"It's ELECTRONIC!" said Miroku with his finger pointed upright.

"It sucks." Said Inu-Yasha.

"It's FUN!!" Shippo exclaimed.

"It's…uh…I don't know." Said Sango.

"IT'S FAKE!!" Kagome yelled as she walked in the door/clown's mouth.  Everyone shrugged and followed her.  The inside looked like a casino only it was more child orientated and there were kids ranging between the ages of four and ten running around crazily.

"It seems that we are the oldest ones here." Observed Sango.

"Let's leave before Sessho-Maru shows up." Said Inu-Yasha.

"How about a game of 'Go Fish'?  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru as he did some sort of fancy-shmancy card shuffling thingy.

"I would rather die than go fishing with you." Said Inu-Yasha with a tone of utmost disgust.

Sessho-Maru chuckled warmly.  "Oh brother!  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru.  "I am not asking you to catch fish with me!  It's a card game called 'Go Fish'!  Sessho."

"JUST GO AWAY!!" Inu-Yasha yelled.

MEANWHILE!!

"Shippo, watch this!" said Miroku as he placed a token in the slot machine.  "I put one of these coins in this little slot and the lights light up!"

Then he pulled down on the lever.

"And when I pull this lever, the little thingys spin around and around!"

Then the thingys stopped spinning one by one.

Cherry… Cherry… CHERRY!!

And with that match of three, Miroku and Shippo were buried in tokens.  (Not money because they are in the CHILDREN'S section.)

MEANWHILE!!

"I WANNA PLAY!!" whined some eight-year-old kid to Sango as she spun the roulette wheel around again.  "YOU'RE NOT EVEN DOING IT RIGHT!!"

"Whatever…" said Sango as she walked away. 

MEANWHILE!!!

"EE-HEE-HEE-HEEEEEEEEE!!" laughed Kagome foolishly as she spun the steering wheel around on the little arcade racing game where you got to SIT and everything!

MEANWHILE!!!

"Got any threes?" Inu-Yasha asked Sessho-Maru as they both looked at their fan of cards.

"Go fish.  Sessho." Sessho-Maru replied.

Inu-Yasha slammed his hand down on the table.  "YOU LIE!!!" he yelled dramatically.  "YOU DO POSSESS THE THREE I CRAVE TO MAKE A PAIR IN ORDER TO WIN THIS INSIPID GAME!!"

"Yes, brother, keep that in mind that this IS just a game.  Sessho." Sessho-Maru reminded him.

"NEVER!!" Inu-Yasha yelled, jumping up onto the table and grabbing Sessho-Maru's collar and shaking him around.  "Give it to me!!"

"As I have previously stated, I bear no threes.  Sessho." Sessho-Maru said, flicking Inu-Yasha's hands off of him.

"Oh I see!" said Inu-Yasha, getting in a fighter's stance.  "You wanna fight me?!"

"Ah ha ha ha!  Sessho." Laughed Sessho-Maru.  "Fight you?  In front of the children?  Please, I wish not to fight with you especially since you are practically one of the children yourself!  Sessho."

"HOW DARE YOU!!" Inu-Yasha HOLL-ered as he clenched his fist so hard that he punctured his palm and it exploded with blood and crap.

"DEARY ME!!!  Sessho." shouted Sessho-Maru as he reached behind the counter and pulled out a first aid kit.  "Fear not, I shall have this fixed up in a jiffy!  Sessho."

MEANWHILE!!!

"May I trade this for currency?" Miroku asked the guy behind the counter as he pulled out a giant bag of tokens from behind his back and dropped it in front of the guy.

The guy cleared his throat.  "You won all that?" he asked.

"Yes I did." Miroku said with a nod.

"Um…okay then." Said the guy as he counted out each token individually and then gave Miroku a one hundred and fifty dollar bill.  Yes, those DO exist in Nevada.  Then Shippo and Miroku strutted off merrily and before they realized it, they had accidentally left the casino and made their way into an ice cream shop.  They decided that they wanted and needed this strange, cold substance so they purchased quite a humongously large quantity of it.

MEANWHILE!!!

"AND STAY OUT!!!" yelled some random manager guy as he punted Sessho-Maru and Inu-Yasha out of the clown mouth onto their arses.  Immediately, Sessho-Maru started to cry.

"OH BOO HOO!!  Sessho." Cried Sessho-Maru.  "YOU GOT ME FIRED!  I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY!!  Sessho."

"Feh." Said Inu-Yasha, crossing his arms.  "I AM."

"Well you're just a jerk.  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru.  "How do you expect me to make a living?!  Sessho."

"What?!" yelled Inu-Yasha.  "You've got a hundred thousand other jobs that you seem to easily acquire without, what Kagome calls, a 'college education'!"

"I think we need to turn that frown upside down!  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru as he grabbed Inu-Yasha cheeks and started playing with them and making him smile and other things that you should not attempt to do with Inu-Yasha unless he's securely fastened and then you erase his memory afterwards so he cannot recall your foolish actions.

MEANWHILE!!!

"I am Sango." Said Kagome.

"And I am Kagome." Said Sango.  BOY ARE THEY CONFUSED!!

"This isn't very fun." Said Kagome.  Sango nodded.

"No.  It's not." She said.

"How about we leave?" Kagome suggested.

"I'm all for that." Said Sango.

Then the two female units walked outside where they found Inu-Yasha and Sessho-Maru quarreling.  Actually, it was the AFTERMATH of the fight.  Sessho-Maru had JUST run off crying and Inu-Yasha was being all triumphant.

Suddenly, Miroku and Shippo came over a hill holding overly large ice cream cones in their hands.  Shippo had ice cream ALL over his face and Miroku was clean because he had seen someone eat their ice cream sundae with a spoon so he figured that he had to eat his ice cream CONE with a spoon as well.  HAW HAW HAW!!!  I WISH SOMEONE HAD TOLD HIM!!

"Lady Kagome!" Miroku exclaimed.  "Look what I got!"

Miroku presented the one hundred and forty five dollar bill that he had left over after buying ice cream.  (Yes, those exist too.  At least…in NEVADA.)

"Oh!" said Kagome.  "We could…"

"And I plan to use it to buy many things with it that I can take with me back to the other world so that I may be ahead of my time!" Miroku continued.

"Um…" said Kagome.  She allowed him to keep it because she had an endless wallet of money anyway.

So they all climbed into the car to go to the next point of destination: OREGON!!!  YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	11. But...but...Lady Kagome...it's OREGON!!

"Now what do you plan on subjecting us to now?" asked Inu-Yasha as the car crossed over the Oregon/Nevada state line.

"I don't know really." Said Kagome with a sigh.  "I had originally planned to go HUNTING but…"

"HUNTING?!" said everyone in shock at the same time.

"Yeah…" said Kagome.  "I figure that if you want to go hunting you can do that in YOUR time."

"Yeah." Said Shippo.  

"So instead I figure that we can just drive RIGHT through Oregon!" said Kagome.

"But…but…" started Miroku.  "We drove through KANSAS!!  We can't miss TWO states!!  It just…ISN'T SUPPOSED TO GO LIKE THIS!!"

"Calm down…" said Sango as she patted Miroku on the back so that he wouldn't choke.

"Is what we're doing next fun?" asked Shippo.

"VERY MUCH SO!!" said Kagome.

"So we're skipping Oregon?" whined Miroku.  Everyone nodded and Kagome continued driving through Oregon in ABSOLUTE SILENCE THE WHOLE WAY!!  (It's not like they were silent long because these car rides are unrealistically short anyway.)


	12. Let's Climb a Volcano in Washington!

"What are we going to do now?" asked Sango.

"Well, I want to do something that I've never done before." Said Kagome.

"You've certainly been doing a lot of THAT lately." Said Inu-Yasha.

"I've always wanted to go mountain climbing!" said Kagome.

"But we can go mountain climbing in OUR world!" whined Shippo.

"But we're not going to climb a MOUNTAIN…" started Kagome.

"Didn't you just say…" started Shippo.

"WE'RE GOING TO CLIMB A VOLCANO!!" Kagome exclaimed happily. 

"What's next on your list?" asked Inu-Yasha as he picked up Kagome's list of stuff to do in each state.  Unfortunately, he didn't know which state was NEXT so he couldn't look ahead so that you, the reader, would know what they were going to do before THEY knew what they were going to do.

"What state is this exciting volcano expedition in?" Said Miroku to prove that he was still there.

"As if you knowing is even going to make a difference." Said Sango.

"Washington." Kagome answered.

Kagome led them all into the little cabiny thingy where they got all their gear on and shtuff.

"Feh!" said Inu-Yasha.  "I don't need these!  I've climbed FAR more dangerous mountains than that HILL that's outside!"

"Hello!" said some guy who OBVIOUSLY had the basket.  "My name is Pete McBone and I'll be your guide up the VOLCANO!!"

"FEH!!" Inu-Yasha said FAR louder than necessary.  "ME, need a guide?!"

"I'm sure you need a guide!" said Pete McBone.  "And I'm willing to be that man!"

So they all walked out to the base of the volcano when suddenly it started erupting.  I mean…SUDDENLY IT STARTED ERUPTING!!!!  AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

"WHY are we climbing a volcano?" asked Sango.

"Well usually we're not supposed to climb volcanoes but this little lady had SO much money!" said Pete McBone.  "Plus, she said that there were two HIGHLY attractive males in the group." Then Pete McBone smiled and winked at Miroku and Inu-Yasha.

"YOU said that Lady Kagome?" asked Miroku.

"I'm just afraid that we'll have to cancel this little excursion." Said Pete McBone.  "I'm terribly sorry."

But then Pete McBone realized that he was talking to himself because, alas, Shippo and his friends had left and gone back in the car.

"Where to next?" Sango asked.


	13. Idaho and an Odd Custom

"I hear that Idaho has the best potatoes in the world!" Kagome said as she drove along the highway.

"I bet it does." Said Inu-Yasha.  

"Come on!" said Kagome with a smile.  "Are you telling me that we're going to go to Idaho and not try famous IDAHOAN POTATOES?!"

"I hope so." Said Inu-Yasha.

"Oh!" said Miroku as he fished through a plastic bag filled with merchandise.

"Where did you get that stuff?" Sango asked.

"The volcano climbing place had a gift shop!" Miroku said.  "I bought this stuff when no one was looking."

He proceeded in pulling out a mosquito candle, one of those tree air fresheners, Cheese Whiz, Cool Whip, a box of crayons, a pair of sunglasses, a sponge and a box of Bean-O.

"Bean-O!" Miroku said with horseshoe eyes as he laughed at the foolish name of the product.

"What is it?" asked Sango as she took it away from him.  

"Beats me!" Miroku said with a shrug.

"You didn't read what it does?"

"How can you NOT buy something that's called 'Bean-O'?!"

"WE'RE HERE!!" Kagome announced as she pulled the car over.  MY these car rides are insanely short!!

They all climbed out of the car to see a huge field in front of them.  After a few seconds of looking around and pausing, Kagome finally rented a golf cart and they all got in and drove to some random, beautiful perfect little patch of field in the middle of nowhere.  Kagome forced them all to get out and they all got out.  Because she forced them to.

"Excuse me, sir, who is probably Sessho-Maru." Said Kagome, tapping some random guy on the shoulder as he picked a potato out of the ground.  Sure enough, it was Sessho-Maru.

"Yes?  Sessho." he said, flipping back his straw hat to keep the sun out of his eyes.

"We were wondering if we could taste some of your finest potatoes grown freshly in Idaho!" Kagome said.

"Why, I happen to have some right here!  Sessho." He said as he held up six potatoes and stood up as well.  He handed out the potatoes and just as everyone was about to take a bite out of their potatoes, Sessho-Maru stopped them.  "I would like to propose a potato toast.  Sessho."

"A potato toast?" said no one in particular.  It could really be anyone because a potato toast is not something you've ever come across no matter what time period you come from.

"Yes.  Sessho." Sessho-Maru replied.  "It's very popular here in Idaho.  Sessho."

"Okay…" Kagome said uneasily as she cradled her potato.  "What do we have to do for this 'potato toast'?"

"We each say one person we would like to dedicate this potato to and then we all take a bite at the same time.  Sessho." Sessho-Maru informed them.  "I will go first so you can see how it's done.  Sessho."  Then he got that look as if he was a Shakespearean actor and the potato was a skull.  "I dedicate this potato to my dearest mother who was a demon and not a human unlike some mothers I know.  Sessho."

Miroku, Sango, Shippo and Kagome made that fake talk show 'oooooo!' as they turned their heads to face Inu-Yasha.

"Why you…!!" started Inu-Yasha as he squeezed his potato so hard that it nearly burst!  "Well I dedicate this potato to MY mother who, despite her being a disgusting human, loved me unlike your demonic mother!"

"I dedicate this potato to…" Miroku started but then he noticed some beautiful woman walk by.  "I think I shall dedicate my potato to that woman!"

"I dedicate this potato to…" started Sango but her eyes welded with tears and it looked as though she couldn't get the name out.  But after a few minutes of wiping tears stuttering 'K…K…K…' she finally managed to say what sounded like, 'Kohaku!'

"Um…okay." Said Shippo.  "I dedicate my potato to my father.  May his memory live on and on and on and on and on and on and on."

"Well I dedicate my potato to Kikyo." Said Kagome as she attempted to look all wistful while holding her potato as the wind blew by.

Meanwhile, everyone was raising an eyebrow or two or three.

"Why are you dedicating it to Kikyo?" asked Inu-Yasha.

"She tried to steal you SOUL!!" said Shippo.

"She's trying to kill you and all of us." Sango pointed out.  "And she's sided with Naraku!"

"Hey…" said Miroku, nudging Kagome.  "She's trying to steal your man."

"MY man?!" Kagome said, turning red.  "He was HER man to begin with!"

"Since when do I belong to either of you?!" yelled Inu-Yasha.

"Now, now!  Sessho." said Sessho-Maru as he swung his potato around just because he wants to.  "It's time to eat our potatoes all at the same time!  Ready?  Eat!  Sessho."

Shippo shoved the potato in his mouth whole.  Inu-Yasha gnawed on his.  Sango ate hers civilly.  Miroku…um…took out his ice cream spoon and ate his potato with that because he wants to broaden his horizons.  Sessho-Maru…ate his.

"Wait…shouldn't we cook these first?" asked Kagome, watching everyone eat the potatoes raw.

"Why would we do that?" asked Sango.

"Never mind." Said Kagome.  

I suppose we've spent longer in Idaho talking about potatoes and such so we'll just say that the rest of the day was fun and they all went back to the car and started driving to MONTANA!!!!!!!!!


	14. A Gym in Montana

Actually, they didn't START driving there.  While I was talking, they REACHED MONTANA!!  HUZZAH!!  Kagome pulled into a 'Bally Total Fitness'.

"What the HELL is this?!" Inu-Yasha demanded.

"I needed to get up and move around." Said Kagome.  "I was in the mood for a good workout."

"Whatever you say Lady Kagome." Said Miroku as he looked up from his project of coloring on his potato with a crayon. 

So they all went into gym/work-out place.  Kagome presented three duffel bags to Miroku, Sango and Inu-Yasha.  She then sent them into the dressing room so that they could change into their WORKOUT clothes!!  

They did so without complaining because it was better than dedicating potatoes to people.  As it turns out, the workout clothes were actually shorts with super tight 'Jack' shirts!  In Sango's case, she didn't even GET a shirt!!  Just a sport's bra!!  HAW HAW HAW!!

"Kagome?" Sango asked.  "Where are the rest of my clothes?"

"That's all." Said Kagome as she showed that she was wearing the same thing.  "You don't want to wear a lot when you work out."

Everyone chuckled warmly at Inu-Yasha because he hadn't put his shirt on yet and he was the whitest white guy in the world and he had NO muscles whatsoever and he was about as UNbuff as one would get.  

"What about me Kagome?" Shippo asked.

"Well…" said Kagome.  "Just like everywhere else, you're going to the CHILDREN'S center!"

Then she took Shippo and plunked him in the babysitting room with the fat lady who just sits at the desk doing nothing except eating.

"Feh." Said Inu-Yasha as he walked around in the weight room.  Even if he had known how to use all these weight lifting contraptions that were harder to use than they really should have been, he would have said 'feh' anyway because Inu-Yasha has super human strength.  Even if he DIDN'T have super human strength he would have said 'feh' simply because he's Inu-Yasha.  And if he WEREN'T Inu-Yasha then he would have said 'OH!' because he would have been Miroku!!  Unless he was someone else.

Suddenly, a really huge muscular guy walked by and crashed into Inu-Yasha…ON PURPOSE!!!

"Oops…" said the guy in a German accent.  "Didn't see you there little man."

"Well, perhaps if you weren't so HIDEOUSLY large then you'd be able to see past your own chest!" Inu-Yasha retorted with a scoff.

The guy (we'll just call him ARNOLD!!) laughed foolishly like a German strong guy.

"Are you challenging me little man?" he asked.

"YOU WANNA FIGHT?!" Inu-Yasha yelled.  Arnold did his stupid laugh again.

MEANWHILE!!

"COME ON LADIES!!" yelled Richard Simmons as he danced around in front of the group of exercising people.  (No, they were not all women.  A lot of them were male as a matter of fact.)  "I'M A PONY!!  I'M A PONY!!  SAY IT WITH ME!!  I'M A PONY!!  I'M A PONY!!"

"YAY!!" Kagome yelled as she suddenly began sweating quite profusely right then and there.  "I'm a pony!  I feel so energized!"

"Is this some sort of psychological way of making this exercising less tiring?" asked Miroku to Kagome who was right next to her.  

"Yes it is." Said Kagome without turning her head.  

"The exercise we are currently doing however, makes me feel more like a horse than a pony." Said Miroku.  "I must be doing something wrong."

Richard Simmons came up to Miroku.

"Don't worry my friend!" he said all-too-happily.  "No one can do these exercises wrong!  Here with me, you work at your OWN pace!"

"I see." Said Miroku as he stopped briefly.  

"Here." Said Richard Simmons as he handed Miroku an autographed copy of his book.  "Read my works and you'll be sure to be truly happy and fight absolute enlightenment!"

"Really?" Miroku asked as he took the book.  "I shall surely read this book.  I have been trying to achieve enlightenment my whole life!"

"I'm sure you've achieved it without knowing it!" said Richard Simmons.  Then he frolicked off like a butterfly and instructed the class to smile more when the skipped around the room.

"Kagome?" Sango asked.  "Would you mind if I left to do something else?"

"I'M A PONY!!" Kagome yelled, her eyes had turned into swirls.  "Come on Sango, dance with me!  Be a pony!"

"No…" Sango replied only SEMI-freaked out.  "I'm going to go and…do something else that's…not this…"

"I'm a pony…" Kagome repeated as she stopped short and stared at a light.

MEANWHILE!!!

"Feh." Said Inu-Yasha as he stood over Arnold's steaming heap on the ground.  "Perhaps next time, you'll think twice before challenging me."

"HEY GUYS!!" said some other really buff guy.  "THIS LITTLE GUY JUST BEAT UP ARNOLD!!  WITH ONE PUNCH!!"

"Really?" asked a bunch of other really manly guys.

"THEN HE'S OUR NEW GYM MASTER!!!" they all cheered as they hoisted Inu-Yasha up and began cheering and carrying him around the room.  A few robust guys tore down a poster of Arnold underneath a huge shrine and replaced it with a large picture of Inu-Yasha.  How they got the picture…um…I don't know!!

"HIP HIP!!" called one meaty guy.

"HOORAY!!" yelled the other pumped guys.

Inu-Yasha just kind of obliviously sat upon their little heap.  As soon as he got annoyed with this activity, he got a really pissed off look on his face and jumped down from atop their little pile and ran into the exercise room where Kagome said that she and the other two would be.

When he got in there, he saw a big group of people who had swirls for eyes sitting in a circle playing Crocadilly oh My.  Kagome was among those people and she seemed all-too-content. 

Richard Simmons looked up immediately and frolicked over to him while shaking his hand around very very much so Inu-Yasha shook around like a crazy vibrating pen.  "I heard about how you beat up Arnold!!" he said.  Almost on cue, all the people who were playing Crocadilly oh My stopped and started applauding still with swirly eyes.

"Um…" said Inu-Yasha.  He WOULD have said feh but he was a little uneasy about the whole atmosphere so he only grabbed Kagome's hand and pulled her out of the room.  "Can we go yet?" he asked.

"But I'm not buff enough!" she complained, flexing her biceps.

"How do you expect to become 'buff' enough to notice a difference in just one day?!" yelled Inu-Yasha.  "You are merely a human!"

"If I keep working at it, I can achieve anything!" Kagome protested.  "Why don't you go and find Miroku and Sango and hang out with them or something?  I will be right here!"  Then she got on a treadmill and put it on level TEN and started running very fast!!

So after a little while of complaining and a few 'SIT!!'s, Inu-Yasha finally stomped off in search of Miroku and quite possibly Sango if he didn't have anyone ELSE to play with!  After a little while, he found Miroku sitting on some random rowing machine, not ROWING, just reading Richard Simmon's book in vain hope that he would gain enlightenment.

"Hey Miroku, you wanna go and beat up some of these overly muscular guys here or, in your case, suck them into the void within you in which they would surely float around inside your body for all eternity?" asked Inu-Yasha.

Miroku looked up from the book.  "I'm sorry, Inu-Yasha." He said.  "That didn't seem like something you would say so it kind of threw me off guard when I heard your voice saying it."

"Well…in fear of sounding like Shippo…I'm bored." Inu-Yasha confessed.

"Bored enough to come to ME for entertainment?" Miroku said as if he were flattered.

"I never said that!!" Inu-Yasha yelled.  "You just so happened to be the first guy that I saw!!  Fine!  Well, I don't NEED you!  I'll just hang out with…" Then he looked around and grabbed some random extremely UN buff and scrawny guy with glasses who was walking by.  "THIS GUY!!"

"GASP!!" said the guy as he got down to his knees.  "You're the Gym Master!!  I'm not worthy!!"

"You're right, you AREN'T!!" Inu-Yasha said, thwaking him upside the head.  "What is your name?"

"Thaddeus." Said the guy.

"What?" Inu-Yasha said with a confused expression on his face.  "What the kind of a name is that?!"

"I wouldn't talk, Inu-Yasha." Said Miroku, going back to his book.

"Are you implying that my mother didn't choose a good name for me?!" Inu-Yasha demanded.

"Well, she felt bad for you because you were a half-demon, right?" Miroku said as he didn't look up from his book.  "She wanted you to just fit in when among the humans, right?  So then why did she decide to name you 'Dog-Demon'?  That IS what 'Inu-Yasha' translates to, isn't it?"

"SINCE WHEN ARE WE TALKING ABOUT ME?!" yelled Inu-Yasha as he started foaming at the mouth.  "Come, Thaddeus, I shall help you work out so you can be more like me!"

"I would LOVE that!!" said Thaddeus since he definitely had the basket.

Then Inu-Yasha and Thaddeus strutted off.

Miroku said whatever and began to read again.

MEANWHILE!!!

Sango was back in the ladies changing room…changing back into her regular clothes.  She figured that she didn't NEED to work out since she was already pretty strong as it was.  At that exact moment, some extremely buff woman wearing a bikini walked in and crashed into Sango…ON PURPOSE!!!  The nerve!!

"Excuse me but Iam changing here." Sango said as the lady (and we'll just call her ILSA) began stretching right where Sango was trying to stand as she has previously stated.

"You have problem?!" she said in her crazy accent.

"Yes, I DO have a problem!" Sango replied as she poked Ilsa.

"Little woman no push ILSA around!" Ilsa yelled.

"If I had my idiotically large boomerang…" said Sango but Ilsa picked up little teeny Sango and even though Sango is really strong, she is nothing compared to big giant abnormal Ilsa.

MEANWHILE!!!

"Sing a happy happy happy happy happy happy song." Sang Kagome as she rowed on the rowing machine next to Miroku but he just ignored her.  "Sing a happy happy happy happy happy happy song!"

MEANWHILE!!

"Okay Thaddeus." Said Inu-Yasha as he stood underneath a giant weight that had about 10,000 pounds on it.  "You spot me while I lift these weights."

"Okay!" said Thaddeus enthusiastically.

Inu-Yasha started lifting the weights with no problem but after about two minutes, he got bored, sat up and walked away.  This left poor teeny little Thaddeus pinned underneath the weights.  

"HELP ME GYM MASTER!!" Thaddeus called.

"LIFT IT!!" Inu-Yasha demanded.  "If you want to hang out with me, you must lift it!"

When Thaddeus proved that he couldn't lift it and looked as though he were going to perish, Inu-Yasha saved his life.

"Now, if this is not too hard for you, we are going to go and beat up the men that are FAR too large to be human!" Inu-Yasha said enthusiastically as he put one foot up on Thaddeus' head and pointed off into the sun.  "I don't need Miroku.  You are my NEW second-in-command-back-me-up-when-I'm-in-trouble-kill-everyone-in-one-swift-motion man!"

Then Inu-Yasha grabbed Thaddeus' hand and frolicked off to find someone bigger than him to smite for no reason.

MEANWHILE!!!

"To achieve enlightenment, one must wear a smile all day long." Read Miroku out loud.  "Do at least five good deeds a day and record them in your log."

Suddenly, there was a scream coming from the girl's locker room.  Miroku stood up.

"As a monk striving to achieve enlightenment, I must perform one of five of my good deeds post haste!" he announced as he pointed to the girl's locker room.  "Besides, I'm always willing to help a lady in trouble…"

Then he ran into the girl's locker room where all the surprised half-naked women screamed and threw things at Miroku.

"Do not fear!" Miroku said with his hand up.  "I am a monk simply doing his duty!  Clear a path so that I may locate the source of the trouble."

"GET OUT!!" All the ladies yelled.  Of course, Miroku could NEVER say that he didn't enjoy doing this and he was taking an AWFULLY long time finding the source of trouble but that's okay.

Suddenly, Miroku rounded the corner to see Ilsa standing in the middle of the room with Sango in her hand waving her arms about crazily.

"ARGH!!" Sango yelled as she threw a large heavy object at Miroku.  

MEANWHILE!!!

"You overly large males are no match for me and my partner!" said Inu-Yasha as he and Thaddeus stood in front of the weight room as a bunch of buff men crowded around him.

"Of course not!" said some random guy who was very tanned.  "We are nothing compared to you, Gym Master!!"

Inu-Yasha's eye twitched.  "FINE!!" he said, getting annoyed that these people weren't even willing to fight him just because of some special title that he now possessed.  He pointed to the tanned guy.  "YOU!!  I DARE you to come and challenge me!"

Everyone cheered for the tanned man and wished him good luck and his wife gave him flowers and told him that he still had three children and a wife he had to come home to and they didn't have a lot of money to pay their bills if he was dead and other things like that.

"Go easy on me, Gym Master!" said the tanned man.

"I, The Gym Master, shall allow you to take the first hit!" Inu-Yasha declared, deciding that he would lose on purpose and then people would attempt to beat him again.

The tanned man wound up and then hit Inu-Yasha as HARD as he could right in the face.  Inu-Yasha paused and wondered, 'Was that it?  Should I pretend that that hurt?' so he finally decided that he would so he fell to the ground and 'writhed in pain' as if that really DID hurt!

Everyone gasped.  "TANNED MAN BEAT THE GYM MASTER!!!" yelled the guys in the ground.  "YOU'RE THE NEW GYM MASTER!!"  Then they tore down the picture in the shrine and replaced it with a picture of the Tanned Man smiling like Angemon.

As soon as everyone was gone, Inu-Yasha sat up and rubbed his hands together diabolically as he plotted on who he should destroy first just as Thaddeus came out of nowhere and loomed over him.

"You're still the Gym Master in MY heart!" Thaddeus exclaimed.  "Let me help you to your feet!"

"Feh," said Inu-Yasha as he slapped Thaddeus's hand aside.

Thaddeus gasped.  "Only the TRUE Gym Master would say that!"

"Say what?" asked Inu-Yasha because he had said 'feh' so many times that he must do it subconsciously now.

"Come on, Gym Master!" Thaddeus said as he frolicked off while holding Inu-Yasha's hand and turned into a drawing as Inu-Yasha was just kind of looking at him as if he had the basket, which he _did_...

MEANWHILE!!!

"Ah, what a lovely, enlightening experience." Said Miroku as he and Sango emerged from the girls changing room.  He was covered with bumps and bruises and band-aids as he caressed the book by Richard Simmons in his arms.  "And I owe it all to this Pony Man."

"Well you can't just go frolicking into the women's changing room." Sango said as-a-matter-of-factly.  "Even if you are just doing a good deed."

"I suppose I shall do a good deed for everyone in our group and then for someone who I don't even know." Miroku said, ignoring Sango while going into deep thought.  "Perhaps my good deed to Lady Kagome shall be not complaining for an entire day or so."

"Or maybe you could try just not complaining." Sango suggested.

"How could I possibly do that?" Miroku said as if he was amazed.

"I'VE done it." Sango pointed out.

"Well, you are special, my friend." Miroku replied with a nod.  "You are a very important female and I hope you feel good about you, yourself."

"Did you read that in the book too?" Sango asked as she got a retarded little drop.

MEANWHILE!!!

"Do you have…'Bingo'?" said the mechanical voice of Big Bird as Shippo played with some lame little toy.  "Hurray!  Let's play…a-gain!"

"YAY!!" Shippo cheered as he pressed the Bingo button again, amazed by the fact that the thing was merely talking.  Then Big Bird kept saying that same few phrases over and over again as the fat lady at the table glared at him out of the corner of her eye.

"Child, will you cease that activity?!" she bellowed suddenly.

Shippo's ears went down and he got really depressed and curled up into a tiny ball in the corner and cried.

MEANWHILE!!!

"AH HA HA HA HA HA." Chuckled the Tanned Man as he was circled with a bunch of other buff guys as they chuckled with him as if there was anything funny but they dared not question the Gym Master.

"I challenge all of you to a match!" said Inu-Yasha suddenly as he stood upon some really large exercising machine and looked down upon.

"We're sorry, FORMER Gym Master but we're busy talking to the CURRENT Gym Master!" called some random flunky.

"What?!" demanded Inu-Yasha rather loudly as he clenched his fist and twitched uncontrollably.

"I know how you feel, Friend." Said the voice of Arnold behind him.  He turned around to see Arnold on crutches with a few casts and bandages around his head looking all sympathetic.  "You and me are one in the same."

"You and me are not the same at all!!" Inu-Yasha yelled as he threatened to smite Arnold and then turned to the group of people crowded around the Gym Master who were still chuckling warmly.  "I challenge the Gym Master to reclaim my title of the Gym Master!!"

"Why not?" said the Tanned Man.  "I accept your challenge, Puny Man!"

"What did you just call me?!" yelled Inu-Yasha as if that offended him to an overwhelmingly large extent.

"That's exactly what you are FORMER Gym Master!" said the Tanned Man.

"HA!!" Inu-Yasha laughed.  "I was the Gym Master before you!"

"But I am the Gym Master now!" said the Tanned Man.

"NOT ANYMORE!!" Inu-Yasha yelled as he punched the Tanned Man and killed him.

"YAY FOR THE GYM MASTER WHO RECLAIMED HIS TITLE!!" cheered all of the body builders as they tore down the picture of the Tanned Man and put up a picture of Inu-Yasha only THIS picture of Inu-Yasha was Inu-Yasha smiling like Angemon because he was more ready.

The Tanned Man's family cried because they had no one to take care of them now.  They didn't cry for long because they just commit Seppuku and rejoined him in the land of the deceased.

"I AM THE GYM MASTER ONCE AGAIN!!" Inu-Yasha declared.

Suddenly, Kagome came over.  She had sweat stains under her armpits and around her collar and all on her back.  Shippo walked behind her with a closepin on his nose because she smelled kind of bad.

"I think…it's time…to leave…" she said in between deep breaths.

"Don't leave us Gym Master!" yelled all of the large men.  "Who will lead us now?!"

"Thaddeus of course." Said Inu-Yasha.  "Though, you are NEVER to tear down this picture of me and you must worship me EVERY night!"

"OF COURSE!!!" yelled all the body builders as they hoisted Thaddeus up and praised him on his recent accomplishment on becoming the Gym Master.

Inu-Yasha turned to Kagome.  "I feel so SUPERIOR!!" he said.  Then he turned to Kagome.  "Maybe you should…"

"I KNOW!!" Kagome yelled.  "You don't have to tell me that I stink!"

"Okay." Said Inu-Yasha.  "As long as you know."  Then he took out a closepin and put it on his nose.

"LET GO OF ME!!" Sango yelled as she and Miroku approached the group.  Miroku was latched onto her.

"But in order to achieve enlightenment, I must hug a friend!" Miroku explained.  "It's what the book says!"

Sango snatched the book away from Miroku, tore it into a thousand pieces, burned it and then ate the remains.

"I must retrieve another!!" Miroku announced to the world.

"We're leaving now." Said Inu-Yasha.  

"But it had all the answers!" Miroku whined.  "I must do four more good deeds today and try to break my bad habits though there truly is no such thing as a bad habit according to that book…"

"It seems as though you remember what to do." Said Kagome.  "So you don't need the book."

"That was BARELY the first chapter." Said Miroku with his head hung low.

"If following that book makes you act like that GUY then I'd rather have you grab my butt!" Sango yelled.

"Very well.  If that is what you want." Said Miroku as he DID THAT VERY THING!!!

"ARGH!!" Sango yelled.

Then the scene changed to a pleasant view of the sky and some birds peaking away when suddenly were hear 'KER-SHMACK!!' and all the birds fly away.

Some time later…

"Where are we going next Kagome?!" Shippo asked enthusiastically.  The fat lady had allowed Shippo to keep the Big Bird Bingo game because it annoyed her so much.

"Well…" said Kagome as she pointed to the sign that said, 'You are now entering Wyoming!!'.  "We just entered Wyoming!"


	15. Wyoming and a Hitchhiker

"YAY!!" cheered Shippo as if that meant anything to him.

They drove along Wyoming and it was very SQUARE shaped and fun when suddenly…

"LADY KAGOME!!" Miroku yelled as he leaned forward and pointed to a man on the side of the road that was all unshaven and dirty and gross.  He was holding up sign that said, 'I need a ride'.  "That man needs a ride and I believe that we should pick him up.  It would be a good deed for a stranger and I need one of those to reach enlightenment!"

"Um…I don't know…" said Kagome as she slowed down in front of the guy.  "He looks kind of dangerous."

"Fear not!" Miroku said.  "If he causes any trouble, I will take care of him!  Or Inu-Yasha would!  Or Sango!  Or ANYONE!!"

"Do you think you could do your good deed someplace else for someone else?" Kagome asked.  She was still feeling rather uncomfortable.

"Pick up the hobo!  Pick up the hobo!" Shippo chanted repeatedly until Kagome finally backed up and stopped in front of him.

She got horseshoe eyes as she nervously stepped out of the car.  "So uh…" she started.  "Judging by this sign that you're holding, I take it that you want a ride.  Where are you headed?"

"Nebraska." He replied.

"Really?" Kagome said as she slapped her cheeks.  "We're going there too!  So you're not out of our way and won't be an overwhelming and rather frustrating burden on our shoulders!  Climb in, pal!"  Then she opened the door and forced Miroku to squish in and share the middle seatbelt with Shippo since they all wore seatbelts and all as the creepy, smelly hobo got in and buckled his seatbelt of course.

They started a traveling.

"I planned on making a stop at a really huge mall that's around here somewhere…" started Kagome, looking around.  "You don't mind, do you Mr. Hobo?  We're on a road trip."

"It's very important that I get to Nebraska right now." Mr. Hobo replied.

"But the road trip…" Kagome tried.

"Please, Lady Kagome!" said Miroku, putting his arm around Mr. Hobo's shoulder.  "Do it for all the hobos of the world!" 

"But this mall…" Kagome complained as they passed a gigantic mall with waterslides and roller coasters and stuff like that weaving in and out the windows as music boomed so loudly that the building was bouncing around and musical notes were flying out of the roof.

So they passed over the Wyoming/Nebraska state border.


	16. Nebraska Has an Art Contest!

"Um…where in Nebraska are you headed?" asked Kagome nervously since the ride had been unusually quiet.

"An art contest." Mr. Hobo replied as he pulled out a sketchbook and showed them a picture of a sunset beautifully drawn and colored in with Cray-Pas.

"An art contest?!" Kagome said excitedly.  "Where?!"

"Why…right here!" Mr. Hobo replied as they pulled into a parking lot.

"Wow!" Kagome exclaimed.  "And I was planning on passing right through Nebraska and not giving it a second thought either!  What do you say, guys?!  You wanna enter an ART CONTEST?!"

"Do we have a choice?!" said Sango but then she slapped her hands over her mouth and then bowed her head in shame.  "I'm sorry, Kagome.  That was entirely uncalled for."

"It's okay!" said Kagome.  "I'm used to it!  Let's go guys!!"  Then she flew open the door and as soon as he did, Mr. Hobo inflated with helium and floated away where he would surely be sizzled up by the morning sun.  OH WELL!!  LESS COMPETION!!!

So they walked into the building, ready for everything.  Of course, they weren't ready for Sessho-Maru since they hadn't seen him in Idaho OR Wyoming!  But Sessho-Maru was there sitting behind the desk with a little suit and tie and a nametag that said 'Sessho' on it but his puff was still there.

"Ah, entering an art contest are we?  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru as he looked the list up and down.  "Unfortunately, I don't see your names anywhere on the list so I cannot allow you to enter.  Sorry!  Next!  Sessho."

"Um…couldn't you just…bend the rules?" Kagome said, nudging Sessho-Maru.

Sessho-Maru sighed.  "I'm sorry.  Sessho."

"Not even for your wittw bwothw?" Kagome asked as she pulled Inu-Yasha out from behind her and put him in front.

"Oh no!  Sessho." Sessho-Maru yelled, covering his eyes.  "NOT THE FACE!!  NOT THE PUPPY EYES!!  YOU KNOW YOUR ELDER BROTHER CANNOT WITHSTAND THE GREAT POWER OF THE PUPPY EYES!!  Sessho."

"I am making no such face!!" Inu-Yasha yelled.

"Fine, I shall let you enter.  Sessho." Sessho-Maru said as he pulled out a pencil and wrote all their names down.  "But don't tell anyone I did it or I might just get fired!  Now go inside and take a seat and wait for the instructions given by the head art director guy whose name is Ikkakumon so you won't call him head art director guy.  Sessho."

So everyone walked in and took their seats around an empty table.  Ikkakumon walked in a minute later with a pointer in his hand.

"Hi everyone!" said Ikkakumon.  "There are NO RULES to this art contest!  Just create art and HAVE FUN!!"  Then Ikkakumon spontaneously combusted.

"And the dog, the cat, the fox, the bear and the rabbit traveled along in the cat's world!" explained Shippo as he drew a little colorful comic.  "The fox, of course was the best out of them all.  The dog, in this picture, is yelling at the cat because she is taking him to so many places and the dog is impatient and has a bad temper.  The cat is also annoyed with the rabbit because he is asking too many questions.  The bear is also annoyed with the rabbit because the rabbit won't leave the bear alone."

"Why am I a rabbit?" asked Miroku as he leaned over and looked at Shippo's drawing.

"How could you tell?!" Shippo whined.  "This was only supposed to be a story that I MADE UP!!"

"Well…" started Miroku.  "The dog and the fox explain themselves.  I also remember Kagome being a cat in a story you told.  Sango is the bear because how many bears do you see with large boomerangs?!  Plus, the rabbit resembles me."

"Um…I honestly couldn't think of a good animal for you." Said Shippo.

"Oh." Said Miroku.  Then he turned back to his little drawing which was rather horrible and consisted of stick figures drawn with various crayons.  He then compared his picture to Shippo's mentally and then crumpled his own into a ball and tossed it behind him.

"Kohaku…" said Sango as she painted this EXTREMELY well done picture of Kohaku.  She had only received red paint but yet, the picture still was colorful and exuberant!!

Inu-Yasha merrily smeared green paint around on a piece of paper.  He was sitting at the kids' finger painting table but didn't seem to notice that he was the oldest one there by far.

"HA!" said Inu-Yasha to some random kid with paint all over him.  "I finished covering my paper ENTIRELY with green paint before you!"

"I was drawing a picture of my puppy!" said the kid.

Inu-Yasha cocked his head to the side, then straight again.  He picked up the picture and examined it.

"I see no puppy in this picture!" Inu-Yasha declared.  "I simply see a giant blob of paint!"

"But…but…" started the kid.  But then he started crying and ran to his mommy. 

"INU-YASHA!!" Kagome yelled as she looked up from the clay pot that she was sculpting.  "You don't have to be so mean to a little kid!"

"He deserved it!" Inu-Yasha said in his defense.

MEANWHILE!!!

Miroku, by now, had screwed the whole CONTEST idea and was just drawing for the fun of it.

"This is my beautiful house on a hill." Said Miroku as he drew what he said.  "This is Naraku right here…no wait…it's Naraku's GRAVE!!"  He scribbled out the blob of Narakuness and in place added a grave with Naraku's name on it and a few dead flowers around it.  "Of course, twas _I _who defeated him at last."

"And there was this OTHER dog who was REALLY annoying the FIRST dog because he kept appearing everywhere…" Shippo continued.

"Oh…Kohaku." Sango said as she wiped tears from her eyes that were flowing uncontrollably.

"How should I decorate my pot?" wondered Kagome.

"And I shall top it off with a handprint of MY hand in red paint!" Inu-Yasha declared as he snatched the bowl of red paint away from some random kid and stuck his hand into it, mixing the red with green.  Then he smeared the red handprint on his green picture.  Upon doing this, he looked at his hand that was covered in green and red paint so he looked around and saw some white paint.  He figured that white pant was JUST as good as water so he put his hand in there and OBVIOUSLY it didn't help and it only mixed green and red into the white paint as well!!  WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

"And here's me and my wife and all my children!!" Miroku said.  "My wife is the most beautiful treasure of my life!  And so are my children of course and Naraku's charred remains that sit in a jar above my fireplace."  (He had long since changed the grave of Naraku to a jar above his fireplace just to tell you.)

"And one day, this smelly SKUNK came out of nowhere and forced all of them to go an art contest against their wills!!" Shippo declared, continuing to contently draw his picture.

"I can't do it anymore!" yelled Sango suddenly.  "It's bringing back too many horrible memories!!  OH KOHAKU!!"  Then she buried her face in her hands and ran out of the room as fast as she possibly possibly could.  No one really bat an eye at the fact that this happened and just continued with their assorted art projects.

"ARGH!!" Kagome yelled, smooshing her pot.  "I can't make this stupid thing!!  I'll just make…a sculpture!!"  She looked around for someone to sculpt and it suddenly popped into her head that she should sculpt INU-YASHA!!!  So she looked around for him only to see him on top of his 'picture' asleep.  For some reason, this kinda pissed Kagome off because then she KNEW that he'd be covered in paint and that he wouldn't care and then she'd have to be walking around with someone who is horribly covered in paint and pretending as though they aren't!!  She couldn't have THAT now could she?

So she stomped over to Inu-Yasha while making huge feet indentations in the ground but then stopped because she decided that this would be a good way to sculpt Inu-Yasha because then he wouldn't be moving around!  Of course if you TELL him that you want to sculpt him then he'd move around but most of the time he would just sit still!!  AHHHHHHHHHH!!  So she crept back over to her ball of clay and began sculpting rather contently.

"In five minutes, we will judge the entrees!" announced Ikkakumon who had come back to life when no one was looking and was now holding a blue ribbon in his hand.  "Actually, I'm just going to judge them NOW!!"  Then he looked at all the random people who don't have names and told them that they didn't win and then made his way over to the main characters that we know and love so well.

"It's a sculpture!!" Kagome declared when Ikkakumon came over and looked at her pathetically made sculpture of Inu-Yasha.

"What is it supposed to be?" asked Ikkakumon.

"Him." Kagome replied, pointing at Inu-Yasha who was STILL sleeping but he had long since turned over so now his hair was tangled with green, red and white paint as well as his face and he was snoring rather loudly.  Then Kagome paused when she noticed Ikkakumon with a raised eyebrow.  "I, of course, altered his pose a bit so he looked like he was at one of his INTELLIGENT moments…"

"All right." Said Ikkakumon as he wrote down a few notes.  He was wearing really big sunglasses and held his clipboard really close to his face and moved his pencil very slightly so you couldn't even tell that he was writing anything and for all you knew, he was looking at some guy across the room who was behind him while he was facing you and talking to you!!  WHAT KIND OF CRAZY GUY IN _REAL _LIFE DOES SOMETHING AS PSYCHOTIC AS THIS?!  Then he made his way over to Shippo and looked at his picture.

"It's a SCENERIO!!" said Shippo knavishly as he held up his picture very triumphantly.

"Um…" started Ikkakumon as he started writing.  But then again…he might NOT have been…

"There's a cat and a dog and a fox and a…"

"Whatever." Said Ikkakumon as he moved right along to Miroku who was still making the finishing touches on his masterpiece.  Ikkakumon stared at it for a moment.  "It truly captures the depth of your suffering." He commented.

Miroku looked up.  "Since when did you get here?" he asked.

"I am the judge.  And I was just commenting on how open and free your lovely work of art is."

Miroku looked at his picture.  "Ah, but of course." He said, scratching his chin and trying to look like a poet.

"I can definitely see the angst in the picture." Ikkakumon observed with a nod.

Miroku paused for a moment and looked back at his picture at the big smiling stick figure of himself with a word bubble that said 'YAY!!' and an arrow pointing to him that said 'Miroku is Happy' and the title of the picture at the top is 'Miroku's Happy Future Life' and the sun was happy with sunglasses and all that other spooky cutesy crap.

"If it'll score me higher points…" Miroku said slowly.

"I like it." Ikkakumon said, patting Miroku on the back.  Then he strutted off over to Sango's picture of Kohaku.  He drew back from it as if he was a vampire and the picture was the sunlight.  "What is THIS?!"

At this point, Sango returned with a hanky.  "This is my little brother." Sango replied.

"It is HORRIBLE!!" Ikkakumon commented.  "The nose is about a quarter of a millimeter to far to the left and this ear is MUCH higher than the other and just LOOK at how his BANGS go all ASKEW like that!"

"It's a side view…" Sango tried to explain.

"I refuse to even waste my time to write comments about this!" Ikkakumon said as he swooped over to the little kids' finger paint table and cleared his throat knavishly until Inu-Yasha's ears twitched while making silly noises and then he sat up, his clothes and face and hair and just about everything else completely covered in paint!!

"What?" he said, looking around.

"GENIUS!!!" yelled Ikkakumon, grabbing Inu-Yasha's finger paint picture and practically caressing it.  "Where did you think up such a vision?!  You have got some true talent, my young friend, oh yes you have.  I award you with this first place ribbon!  Take it and flourish and I hope to see your name in lights someday knowing that I, Ikkakumon, awarded you the first place ribbon when you were still blossoming as an artist!!"  Then he pinned the ribbon on Inu-Yasha's shirt and frolicked off while singing 'I know you I walked with you once upon a dream' and Inu-Yasha just kind of said whatever and decided that the ribbon looked kind of tasty so he started to chew on it.

"Don't chew on it!!" yelled Kagome as she tore it out of his mouth.  "This is a special honor!!  You should be cherishing it!"

"Excuse me for not caring!!" Inu-Yasha argued.

"Fine then!" said Kagome.  "If you don't want it, give it to Sango!  She deserves it much more than you ever will!"

"Look Lady Kagome, I got second place!!" Miroku said, showing Kagome his red ribbon.

"I got…last place." Said Sango, holding up a brown ribbon.

"I didn't get a ribbon at all…" whined Kagome as she looked over at her sculpture of Inu-Yasha longingly.  "Let's just get out of here…"

Everyone decided not to argue so they grabbed their art projects and piled into the car only after tossing them in the trunk as if they weren't worth anything.  Then they drove off.

"Hey…isn't it kind of quiet in here?" said Sango suddenly.  Everyone paused and thought for a moment.  Just then, Kagome slammed her foot down on the brakes and they came to a sudden halt so all the people behind them on the highway crashed into their car but of course their car wasn't harmed but everyone else's squashed like an accordion.

"We left Shippo there!" Kagome yelled.  Then she turned around and drove on the highway going the wrong way so when she crashed into cars they went flying above them and landed in a giant pile behind the car.  The hideous green convertible didn't get a scratch or even chip any paint!!  WELL FANCY THAT!  YAY!!

Upon reaching the familiar parking lot they had just been in, they saw Mr. Hobo floating around in the air with Shippo.

"Um…" said everyone.


	17. SOUTH DAKOTA!!!

So they got back in the car and drove all the way to South Dakota following Mr. Hobo and Shippo.


	18. The Showdown With Mr. Hobo in North Dako...

Eventually, they crossed over the South Dakota/North Dakota state border.  At this point, Mr. Hobo was running out of helium so he floated down to the ground.

"Don't come any closer!!" Mr. Hobo yelled was Kagome, Miroku, Sango and Inu-Yasha started to approach him.  "I brought my ATTACK DOG!!  With a BUILT IN FORCE FIELD!!!"  A dog that was frothing at the mouth ran out and stood in front of Mr. Hobo.

"Well I brought my DINOSAUR!!!" yelled Kagome as a dinosaur jumped out from behind her.  "Who EATS force field dogs!!"  Then the dinosaur leapt forward and devoured the force field dog and then died of indigestion.

"Fine…I brought my CONTRACTORS!!" Mr. Hobo said as a bunch of men wearing wife-beater shirts jumped out armed with hammers and two-by-fours.  "Who are armed with hammers and two by fours!!"

"Well I brought my BALLERINAS!!" Kagome said as a bunch of ballerinas in really stupid looking tutus that looked like cardboard jumped out.  "Who distract contractors armed with hammers and two by fours!!"  Then all the ballerinas and contractors got married and ran away.

Mr. Hobo started getting angry.  "Well I brought my NINJAS!!!" he tried as a bunch of ninjas in black jumped out and started twirling num-chucks around while yelling out 'YAI YAI YAI YAI YAI!!' really fast.  "Who are excellent fighters!!"

"Um…" Kagome said, looking in her inventory.  Then she paused.  "Well I brought my DOG DEMON!!  Who is a BETTER fighter than ninjas!!  Sick 'em Inu-Yasha!!"

"I don't feel like it." Inu-Yasha replied, not wanting to be some kind of crazy force field dog who would get eaten by a dinosaur.

"Fine, I brought my monk who can suck ninjas into the void with him." Kagome said, pointing at Miroku.

Miroku raised his hand.  "I'm sorry, Lady Kagome." He said.  "I would love to but I fear I might accidentally purge Shippo as well and this whole ordeal would be for nothing."

"Sango?" Kagome tried.

"What about my introduction?" Sango demanded, looking offended.

"Fine!!" Kagome said with an exasperated sigh.  "I brought my demon exterminator who EXTERMINATES ninjas!!"

"No, I exterminate demons." Sango pointed out.  "You just contradicted yourself in the same sentence." 

"Can't you just make an exception this once?" Kagome pleaded.

Sango shook her head.

"I guess you are no match for my ninjas!!" laughed Mr. Hobo heartily.  "You ninjas stay behind while I make a speedy getaway and then find me again and I'll tell you of our next evil plot!!"  Then he laughed diabolically and took out a hand held helicopter and flew away.

"Oh no you don't!!" yelled Kagome as she whipped out a bow and arrow from the trunk and shot Mr. Hobo's helicopter.  He plunged to the ground and exploded with a giant mushroom cloud and an insane earthquake.  Then Shippo came running over the hill in slow motion and jumped into Kagome's arms…and everyone was happy.

The ninjas looked at each other, scratched the back of their heads with their num-chucks and then threw down some Deku nuts and disappeared.

"Oh yay!!" said Kagome happily as she threw a party with Shippo.  "But oh no!  We completely drove through South Dakota without even realizing it!  And I think that Shippo is far too traumatized to do anything in NORTH Dakota so it looks as though we're going straight to Minnesota!" 

"JOY!!!" cheered everyone as they jumped and punched the air and turned into a drawing as their extremely fake laughing continued in the background.  (Inu-Yasha: Ha.  Ha.  Ha.  Feh.)


	19. A Not-So-Leisurely Swim in Minnesota but...

"So what are we going to do in this exceedingly exciting 'Minnesota' village of yours, Lady Kagome?" Miroku asked eagerly while practically bouncing around in his seat.  They were listening to 'I rock the party that rocks the party!  You rock the party that rocks the party!  I rock the party that rocks the party!  You rock the party that rocks the party!'  Kagome turned off the radio and everyone momentarily stopped raising the roof so that Kagome could tell them what they were going to do in Minnesota.

"Ever hear of Lake Superior?" asked Kagome.

"Yeah." Said Inu-Yasha sarcastically.

Kagome scowled knavishly.  "It's a very big lake." She explained, figuring just then and there that it was a stupid question and Inu-Yasha had every right to be sarcastic with her and she shouldn't have scowled knavishly.  "I figured that we could go swimming in it."

"Swimming…in what?" asked Sango as she gestured toward the clothes that she, as well as the others were wearing.  

"We'll have to buy bathing suits!" Kagome said as she got horseshoe eyes.  Then she screeched over to the side of the road and pulled into a thrifty bathing suit store!!

"And I want you to try on this one…and this one…and this one and this one and…this one in green AND red…" said Kagome as she made the stack in Inu-Yasha's arms even bigger.  Then she shoved him into a changing room and sat down in a chair. 

Miroku, Sango and Shippo obliviously stood next to her.

"What are you waiting for?" asked Kagome.  "Go pick out some nice bathing suits for yourselves!"

"Oh." Said Sango.  "We thought you'd help us."

"I'm helping Inu-Yasha right now." Said Kagome as she shooed them away.

"Hm…" said Miroku as he looked at the bathing suits.  Then he picked one up.  "You would look stunning in this one Sango." 

"Pick out your own!" Sango yelled as she hit Miroku on the head with Shippo.

"OW!!" Shippo yelled.  Then he got all angry and turned into a giant evil pink ball and dragged Miroku off to the men's section.

"Miroku…" said Shippo.  "I don't think I can wear any of these.  Since I have this big stupid ball for a tail and all."

"True." Said Miroku.  "Though I'm surprised that no one has noticed yet."

Suddenly, some fat lady with spandex on and triangle earrings walked by.

"THE TAIL!!" she shrieked.  "IT'S NOT NORMAL!!"  Then she fainted.

"Erm…" said Miroku.

MEANWHILE!!!

"KAGOME!!" Inu-Yasha yelled from inside the changing room.  "This thing is not comfortable!!  I feel so…CONFINED and UNMASCULINE!!  I wear humongously large pants for a reason you know!!"

"Let me see it!" Kagome replied.

"NEVER!!!" Inu-Yasha HOLL-ered.  "I shall NEVER be seen in this thing."

"Then I'm coming in!" Kagome said.

"NO!!" Inu-Yasha said as he stood in front of the door like a gingerbread man.  Kagome simply crawled under his legs and in the stall.  "ARGH!!"

"Hm…" said Kagome as she looked at the vivid green Speedo with pink polka dots that Inu-Yasha was wearing.  "It's not you…"

"I didn't think so." Said Inu-Yasha with a sigh.  Then he shoved her out the door.  "NOW HAND ME THE NEXT ONE!!"

"OKAY!!" Kagome screamed as she handed Inu-Yasha some…ORANGE NORMAL bathing suit with POCKETS!!  SURAH!!

"LADY KAGOME!!" 

Kagome turned around to see Miroku making his way over in a full wet suit with flippers and goggles and snorkel on.  

"I have found the bathing suit I want!" he announced.  The he dropped an air tank by her feet.  "Is this necessary or can I go without it?  It's kind of heavy."

"I refuse to be seen in public with you like that!" Kagome yelled.  Then she shoved the green polka dot Speedo in Miroku's chest.  Miroku stared at it for a minute before letting out a pathetic holler and then fainting.

Suddenly Shippo came around the corner wearing a little blue bathing suit.  It looked REASONABLY normal except for the huge bulge on his butt.

"THE TAIL!!" yelled the lady as she fainted again.

"Hm…" said Kagome.  "How can we conceal that?"

"We really can't." said Sango as she came out of nowhere with a single bathing suit in her hand.  Then she went into the changing room to try it on.

"KAGOME!!!" Inu-Yasha yelled.  "I don't LIKE it!!"

"Open the door." Kagome said.  She didn't except him to do it but HE DID!!

"You know." Said Shippo.  "If you didn't have such stupidly long hair, you wouldn't look so retarded without baggy clothes."

"Well you're the one with the BOW!!" said Inu-Yasha.

"NO!!" Shippo retorted.  "Kagome took it away in the FIRST chapter!"

"Oh yeah." Said Inu-Yasha.

Suddenly, Kagome came over to Inu-Yasha with a swim cap.  

"We have to conceal your ears and maybe you won't look so…odd with your long hair." She said.

"There is NO way all my hair would fit in that even if I DID decide to wear it!!" Inu-Yasha yelled louder than he really needed to.

"THEN WE'LL HAVE TO CUT IT OFF!!" Kagome yelled as she held up a pair of scissors and lightning flashed behind her and she cackled evilly.

"NEVER!!" Inu-Yasha yelled as he ran back into the changing room and slammed the door and shoved his clothes in the crack so that Kagome couldn't crawl under.

Suddenly, Sango came out of the changing room in her itty-bitty yellow polka dot bikini.

"HOSH-SAMA!!!" she yelled slapping her cheeks as she dove down onto the ground and caressed Miroku's head in her lap.  "What happened?!"

"Well…" started Kagome as she held up the Speedo.  "He passed out at the sight of THIS!!"

"Why?" asked Sango.

"It's a…MAN'S bathing suit!!" Kagome replied.

"DEAR GOD!!" Sango replied.  "NO WONDER!!"

Suddenly, Miroku woke up.

"Sa…Sango…" he said weakly but it was probably fake.

"Yes Hosh-sama?!" she said with a tear in her eye.

"Hold me closer…" he said.  "I think this is the end…"

"ANYTHING!" said Sango as she hugged Miroku closely.

Shippo and Kagome had retarded drops.  Inu-Yasha WOULD have had one if he wasn't changing.

"Wait a second…" said Sango.  "You're DYING because of the sight of some hideous male's garment?"

"Um…" said Miroku.  "Yes."

Sango groaned and dropped his head on the ground.  Then she stood up and walked back toward the changing room.  "I think I'll take this one."

Kagome walked over to Miroku with a normal bathing suit that was… PURPLE since that's his FAVWITE COLOR!!  "Try this on." She said.

"I like the one I'm wearing." Said Miroku as he stood up.

"TOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Kagome yelled.  Miroku shrank into a little man and then walked underneath the door of the changing room because he was so small and then he grew again.  Then he tried it on and it FIT!!  YAY!!!!!!!

Kagome already had a bathing suit so she didn't need a new one.

So they all made their way to cashier and he beeped all their items.

"That will be two hundred dollars EXACTLY!!  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru.

"TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS FOR FOUR BATHING SUITS!!  THAT'S ROBBERY!!" Kagome yelled at the top of her lungs.

"Fine fine…Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru.  "I lied.  It's really only ONE hundred dollars.  Sessho." 

"Okay." Said Kagome as she paid Sessho-Maru and they all left and WENT TO LAKE SUPERIOR!!  HUZZAH!!!

Abrupt?  No?

So they all got changed into their bathing suits in the car even though it's a convertible and offers them NO privacy.  They didn't care.

"MUST I wear this?!" Inu-Yasha demanded as Kagome handed him the bathing cap.

"YES!!" Kagome yelled.  "YOU MUST!!"

At this exact point in time, they pulled into the parking lot and then they got out and took the towels that Kagome bought them while they were preoccupied with trying on bathing suits.  They walked over to Lake Superior with their towels of assorted colors with their names lovingly embroidered on them in beautiful cursive and glittery letters.

"PARTY ON!!!!" screamed Kagome as she grabbed her floating device and ran into the water in slow motion.

Everyone else watched her from the shore for a moment.

"YAY!!" yelled Shippo as he jumped up into the air, turned into a balloon, hovered over the water for a little while and then let himself drop in the water when he turned back to regular ol' Shippo.

"Don't worry, Sango," Miroku said suddenly, turning to Sango.  "Kagome showed me a CPR book that thoroughly described the proper way of bringing someone back if they have ceased breathing.  They call it 'mouth-to-mouth'."

"In that case, I'll be REALLY careful." Said Sango as she frolicked off to the water.  This went flying miles over Miroku's head so he shrugged it off and went down to the water as well.  Inu-Yasha was saying FEH and other things such as 'I don't swim for LEISURE!!'

"Come on!!" yelled Kagome, getting frustrated.  Inu-Yasha scoffed so Kagome got out of the water and pushed him over towards it.  He simply stated that he would allow himself to be pushed over to the water but he would NEVER go into it saying something about how he felt like an idiot with the bathing cap on or something to that extent.  "Fine!!  SIT!!"  And then he 'dove' face first into the water.  BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!

"HOW DARE YOU!!" Inu-Yasha yelled when he resurfaced.

"I thought dogs liked to swim." Said Kagome as she adjusted the strap on her bathing suit.

"Do I look like a dog to you?" Inu-Yasha asked as a happy little golden retriever frolicked by with a tennis ball in his mouth.  He came up to Inu-Yasha and sniffed his butt and then barked.  "GO AWAY!!"

The dog started growling knavishly and then he ran away.  

"Heh!" laughed Inu-Yasha as he picked up the dog's tennis ball.

Kagome snatched it away from him.

"EW!!" she yelped (not like a dog).  "It's all SLIMY!!"  Then she heaved the ball as far as it would go.

"HEY!!" Inu-Yasha yelled as he chased after the tennis ball and then ran back to Kagome.

"Did you just fetch a ball?" Kagome asked.

"I guess if that's how you want to put it." Said Inu-Yasha with a confused expression.  Then he got the 'DUH!!' look.  "No…I DIDN'T just go and get this ball."

"No." said Kagome.  "You FETCHED it!  LIKE A DOG!!"

"What?" Inu-Yasha asked.  Then it crept through his hair and into his head.  "HEY!!!  HOW DARE YOU!!"

"EEE HEE HEE!!!" laughed Kagome as she ran into the water while flailing her arms around.

Inu-Yasha jumped up into the air and landed right in front of Kagome with a big splash.

MEANWHILE!!!

"I don't see why this lake is titled 'Lake Superior'." Said Miroku as he picked up a Styrofoam cup.  "It seems infested with all sorts of unnatural things."

"Yeah." Said Sango.  "It's not very superior."

Suddenly, Shippo rowed by in a tire while paddling with a telephone.

"WEEEE!!" he yelled.  "LOOK AT ME!!!"

"SIT!!!!!" Kagome yelled at the top of her lungs.  "SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT!!"

Miroku, Sango and Shippo made their way over to Kagome and Inu-Yasha.  Inu-Yasha was submerged under water and all they could see was a couple of air bubbles.

"Lady Kagome, do you think it's wise to do this in the water?" Miroku asked.  "I mean, suppose he were to run out of air?"

"We'll pull him up before he does." Said Kagome.  "But he was going to harm me."

"Don't you know him a little better than that?" asked Sango.  "Did you ACTUALLY think he was going to harm you?"

"I guess you're right…" Kagome said slowly.

At that exact moment, Inu-Yasha emerged from the WATERY HELL he was confined to, took a deep breath of air, turned to Kagome and grabbed her around the neck.  "DID YOU THINK YOU COULD ACTUALLY GET AWAY WITH THAT?!" he yelled as he shook her around cruelly.

"No!!" yelled Shippo, Miroku and Sango like Ator as Miroku grabbed him in a headlock and pulled him off Kagome.

Just then, the lifeguard ran out in slow motion with her stupid life preserver that looked like a weenie.  "What's the problem here?" she asked, lifting up her sunglasses as she flipped her hair in the wind and the sun set behind her.  Sango immediately looked over at Miroku who, not surprisingly, appeared to be in some sort of unbreakable trance.  She waved her hand in front of his face but when got no response, she gave a heavy sigh.

"No problem." Shippo said finally because no one else was saying anything.

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"No, you can leave now." Sango said, glaring at Miroku.

"Excuse her incompetence." Miroku explained.  "Don't worry, I'm not with her at all.  I must ask you a question though…will you bear my child?"

"And ruin my perfect figure?!" yelled the lifeguard lady as she smacked him.

"I'm sorry, I was going too quickly for you." Said Miroku.  "But I feel as though I am going into repertory arrest."

"Um…I'd much rather save THAT guy!" said the lifeguard as she frolicked off towards this hugely buff guy wearing a red Speedo and Elvis hair as he smiled like Angemon.

Miroku sighed.  "I suppose that it's better to have loved an lost than to have never loved at all."

"Yeah, as if you even LOVED her!" argued Kagome.

Then they all stood there for a second in silence.

"So…who wants to leave now?" asked Kagome to break the silence.  Everyone raised their hands so they all ran off to the car only after getting changed into the clothes that KAGOME had of course picked out for them since they are COMPLETELY incapable of picking out clothes for themselves because, after all, they have no fashion sense whatsoever!  (It's true!!  Have you ever LOOKED at Inu-Yasha?!)


	20. A Run-In With the Law in Iowa

"Let's all do a sing along on the way to our destination in Iowa!!" said Kagome.  "I'll start!!  BA-LACK socks they never get dirty the longer you wear them the stronger they get!!  SOME-TIMES I think I should WASH them but something inside me keeps saying not yet!  Not yet!  Not yet!  Not yet…!"  Then she looked at everyone else who was staring at her with concerned looks.  "Come on you guys!  It's just a song that someone made up for a fun sounding round that'll pass the time!!  It's not like it's TRUE about ME!!"

"Sure." Said everyone in the skeptical tone as they averted their gaze away from Kagome since she was probably wearing smelly black socks that she hadn't washed in a while since the longer you wear them the stronger they get.

"You guys take everything way too seriously." Kagome said with a sigh as she clutched the steering wheel.

"You know, I think you should just stop doing sing alongs." Said Inu-Yasha.  "Every time you sing one, it just gets sicker and sicker."

Miroku leaned forward.  "I agree with Inu-Yasha." He stated.  "First it was that Goldfish song that was just downright disgusting.  Then that doggy song.  That wasn't very sick but it sure did frighten me.  And now this stupid song with the black socks.  There might have been some more thrown in there somewhere but I don't care enough to strain my memory and think of them."

"WHATEVER!!!" Kagome screamed as she started to think of some other sing along that wouldn't make everyone think that she was a psychopath.  "Hey!  How about you guys sing a song from YOUR world!  One that makes perfect sense to you guys but if I took it literally, it would disgust me!  Although, since I know better, I'll just laugh along with you guys!!"

"I hate singing!" Inu-Yasha yelled.

Shippo started singing a happy little sing-a-long.

Sango just kinda looked embarrassed.  As if she had the PERFECT song in mind but she didn't want to sing it.

Miroku just had this look on his face that said, 'You should know better Lady Kagome.'

"You guys are no fun." Said Kagome.  "I thought this road trip would be fun but it's not fun driving around with a bunch of people who don't know what sarcasm is."

"Sarcasm, noun.  A sharp and often satirical or ironic utterance designed to cut or give pain." Said Miroku as he held up a dictionary.

"WHERE DID YOU GET THAT DICTIONARY?!" Kagome asked.

"I slipped it into the cart when we bought our bathing suits." Said Miroku.  "I hope you don't mind."

"ARGH!!" Kagome yelled but she ignored him for the time being.  However, when he started defining random words, she felt it necessary to take it away and toss it out the window.

"That was uncalled for Lady Kagome." whined Miroku.  "I was simply furthering my knowledge of all the technological that your world has and mine does not!"

"HEY!!" Inu-Yasha yelled.  "I know what sarcasm is!"

Sango swakked him upside the head because she was sitting next to him.  Plus, she hadn't done anything for a while.

"So where are we going?" asked Shippo.  "In Iowa?"

"I figured we could go to some GRAND mall!!"

"YAY!!" Shippo cheered.

"Lady Kagome?" Miroku asked.  "Do you think it would be too much to ask if I could drive?  You look SO fatigued and I simply wish to relieve you of your duties."  

Then Miroku judo chopped her in the back of the neck and she passed out AT THE WHEEL!!  In one swift movement, Miroku switched places with Kagome.

"Now to turn around…" said Miroku out loud because he is now in narrative mood.  "I am turning around because I want to get my dictionary back.  I have both hands firmly grasping the wheel and my right foot is applying pressure to the pedal.  WHAT FUN!!!"

"HEY!!" Inu-Yasha yelled.  "Since when are YOU driving!!  WHERE'S KAGOME?!"

"You've been mightily slow today." Said Sango.  Then since she is being mightily violent, she leaned forward and swakked Miroku.  "Pull over!!"

Suddenly the sound of a siren was heard.

"What's that noise?" asked Shippo.

"I have no idea." Said Miroku as he continued driving at about a million miles per hour. 

"PULL OVER TO THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!" came the voice of some Iowan police officer through a megaphone.

"I think he's talking to you." Said Sango.

"But I've only been driving for a second." Miroku whined.

"HE SAID PULL OVER!!" Inu-Yasha yelled as he jumped into the front seat and grabbed the wheel and began twirling it around maniacally.

"STOP IT!!" Sango yelled as the car spun around foolishly.  Then she reached forward on Miroku's left and grabbed the wheel.

"Fine!" Miroku yelled as he took both hands off the wheel.  "YOU guys can steer!"

Then Shippo, the only reasonable one of the group, got down under Miroku's feet and pressed down on the break so the car came to a nice steady stop in the middle of the Iowan highway.

The police officer came over with a gun and demanded that everyone get out of the car.  He put them against the car and made them spread their legs.

"Sir." Said a minion of the man police officer.  "We found no trace of alcohol in their car."

"They probably discarded it." Said Head Police Officer.  

"Are you implying that I am intoxicated?!" Miroku asked as if he were appalled.  "I grew up watching my Step Parent drink non-stop!  I THINK I KNOW THE HARMFUL EFFECTS OF ALCOHOL!!" 

"I have reason to believe that you are HIGHLY intoxicated."  Then he pulled out a piece of chalk and drew a line on the cement.  "Now walk this line."

"Why?" asked Miroku.

"Because I asked you to." Head Police Offer replied.

"What if I refuse?" Miroku pushed.

"Then I'll have to book you." Head Police Offer answered.

"Oh great!" said Miroku gleefully.  "Lady Kagome threw my last one out the window."

"Um…sir?" said the minion as he looked around in the car to see Kagome being all unconscious in the backseat.  "There's an unconscious girl in the back seat of this car."

"Oh, a KIDNAPPING eh?!" said Head Police Officer as he whipped out a pair of handcuffs.  "I'm going to have to take you downtown."

"Well, Lady Kagome wanted to go there anyway…"

"Tell me, who else was involved in this act?!" demanded Head Police Officer.

"Um…" Miroku said, looking around and then pointing at Inu-Yasha and Sango and Shippo who were just kind of…standing there.  "They all kind of contributed to what we were doing."

"All right then we're takin' ya'ALL down!" said Head Police Officer as he just got a Southern Accent right then and there!!  Then he forced them all to get in the police car and they drove away leaving Minion, Kagome AND the car there to fend for themselves!!!  AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

They reached the jail and they went in and Head Police Officer shooed them into one giant cell.  "NOW STAY IN THERE!!!" he screamed at the top of his lungs.  "AND YOU'LL NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY AGAIN!!!"  Then he slammed the door on their faces and stomped off.  The guard walked over and sat down on a desk that you could see from the cell and immediately went to sleep.  (His name is Donut.)

"All right, we have to find a way out of here." Said Sango.

"Easy." Said Inu-Yasha as he grabbed onto the bars but Miroku reached over and grabbed his arms.

"Please, I am a monk." He said, sounding offended.  "I would prefer if you tried something a little less destructive."

"What do you suggest then?" Inu-Yasha demanded.

"Well, considering the fact that Shippo is so small that he can obviously fit through the bars, we can have him go through and take the keys from the guard and unlock the door." Miroku replied, doing his little one handed praying thingy.

"Okay." Said Shippo as he easily just strutted through the bars and crept over to Donut.

"Now get the keys!" Sango said quietly.

Shippo crawled around on the guy until picking up his sandwich and pulling the cheese out of it.  Inu-Yasha slapped his forehead.  "Not the CHEESE!!" he said, sounding annoyed.  "The KEYS!!"  Shippo just stared at him looking confused.

"Look, put the cheese down." Said Miroku, trying to sound patient.  Shippo went to put it down and then picked it up again.  Then he finally set the cheese down at the desk.  "Now get the keys."  Shippo pulled the keys out of Donut's shirt pocket and held them up.

"I GOT THEM!!!" he HOLL-ered.

"YOU'RE A FAILURE!!!" yelled Inu-Yasha as Donut started to wake up.

"WHAT'RE YOU DOING?!?!" he yelled knavishly.  Then he grabbed Shippo by the head and hauled him off to a nice Shippo sized cage.  OH-NO!!!

"See?" said Inu-Yasha in a very annoyed sounding tone.  "If we had just went with my plan, we'd all be out of here and we WOULDN'T have to go and get Shippo as well!"

"Yes but then this nice man's dungeon would have been ruined." Said Miroku as he pointed to Donut who was back.

"WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING IN THERE?!" Donut demanded.

"What ELSE do you think we're planning?!" Inu-Yasha demanded.

"You're not planning to ESCAPE are you?!"

"Of course not." Said Miroku as he did the one handed pray again.  "I am a monk and would never dream of it."

"That's splendiferous." Said Donut.  "I hope you enjoy life."

"I DO, thank you." Said Miroku.  "Now would you be so kind as to open this door and let us out?  And while you're at it, could you got and fetch that little fox child that you took away?"

"NEVER!!" Donut yelled so loudly that everyone's hair blew back.  Then he stomped off and went to sleep.

"Still think he's a nice man?" asked Inu-Yasha as he grabbed the bars.

"Go ahead." Said Miroku.  Then Inu-Yasha ripped the bars off.  No sooner had the bars left the place where they were supposed to be, but two giant men named Ludwig and Henrich came in and dragged Inu-Yasha away to the land of no return.  Then a third, named Bjorn, came in and grabbed Miroku in one hand and Sango (cause she's still there, she's just being quiet) in the other hand.  Then he dragged them off to a FRESH new cell!!

Inu-Yasha was put in a cell made entirely of cement and steel.  Even if he were able to break it, he can't in this story because…um…he can't because there's a demon ward on it.

Shippo was right next to him in a little box.

MEANWHILE!!!

Kagome woke up a little later.  She was rather pissed off because…WHO WOULDN'T BE?!  She was, however, happy to be alive.  She looked around in search of her friends.  Had they just abandoned her?!  None of them were really like that.  They had never abandoned her before and to do so randomly on the side of the road in IOWA!!  Where would they go?!  They don't even know their way around!  OH-NO!!  What about Inu-Yasha and Shippo?!  What if they were to be taken into some lab and scientists did tests on them because they were demons?!  What if at this VERY moment, they were being dissected?!  AND WHAT IF THEY WERE STILL ALIVE?!  ARGH!!

"Inu…Ya…sha…" said Kagome because she usually says that a lot and she hasn't said it yet.  Then she remembered all her other friends.  "Inu…Ya…sha…"

MEANWHILE!!

"This is all your fault." Said Inu-Yasha to Shippo.  "Does CHEESE sound anything like KEYS?!"

"Well if you had just NOT listened to Miroku and broke down the bars, then we would be free." Said Shippo.

"But…" started Inu-Yasha but he couldn't, for the life of him, figure out a good reason why he had listened to Miroku in the first place.  "Um…he…uh…I don't know!!  I don't know WHY I listened to him!!"

 MEANWHILE!!

"So how do you suggest getting out of here?" asked Miroku to Sango.  "I'm sure we could easily smite that guard over there but we need not take away his life."

"But how else are we going to get out?" demanded Sango.  Suddenly, they felt a strange RUMBLING.  After a moment, the rumbling turned into an insane earthquake and then the wall behind them exploded and pieces of rock and dust flew everywhere.  When the dust cleared, there was a giant tank sitting there… being a tank.

"It appears as though someone has come here to break us out." Miroku observed, approaching the tank.  Suddenly, the door on the top squeaked open and a helmeted head poked out of it.

"I have to rescue you!!  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru as he tossed each of them a little green helmet that looked like half of a bowling ball.

"Uh…is this legal?" asked Sango as she put it on.

"No.  Sessho." Sessho-Maru replied.  "So that's why you must never tell any of my bosses or tell anyone that you saw me with this tank.  I borrowed it from my commanding officer in the USA army.  Sessho."  Miroku and Sango climbed into the tank and Sessho-Maru shut the lid.

"You know how to work all this stuff?" Miroku said as his eyes sparkled and he glowed at the sight of all the magical machinery.

"Yes.  Sessho." Sessho-Maru answered.  He flipped a switch or two and the sirens started going off and the room started blinking red.  "Battle stations everyone!!  We have to go and save my precious little brother!!  Sessho."  Then he started spinning the wheel around in circles.  He pulled and telescope thing from the ceiling like in submarines and started looking around.  "Aha!!  Target located.  Have no fear, team!  Sessho."

"Um…" said Miroku and Sango as they accumulated little drops above their heads.

"Stand by for impact!!  Sessho." Yelled Sessho-Maru as he closed his eyes and winced and suddenly they crashed into another wall.  "I shall go up and greet my brother!!  Sessho."  He climbed up the ladder and scouted the area but didn't see anyone.  "Hm!  That's strange…I thought I marked his coordinates perfectly.  Oh well, I guess he's not here!  Sessho."  Then he turned around only to be faced with Inu-Yasha.

"I'm starting to cringe in disgust instead of cower in fear whenever I see you, you know!" he yelled, hitting Sessho-Maru.  "Is that what you want?!"

"No!  Sessho." Sessho-Maru admitted.  "I want your face to light up with glee when your elder brother walks in the room!!  Sessho."

"WHAT?!" Inu-Yasha yelled as if Sessho-Maru saying that was his only weakness.

"Come, Inu-Yasha, do you want a shoulder ride?  Sessho." Asked Sessho-Maru as his eyes turned into horseshoes and outstretched his arms.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Inu-Yasha yelled dramatically as he fell backwards and conveniently dropped right into the little door thing so he was in the tank where Miroku and Sango were.  Shippo was soon to join them as he just plopped down from the sky and landed on Inu-Yasha.

Sessho-Maru climbed down the ladder and shut it.  "All right, let's get out of here, crew!!  Sessho." He said as he grabbed the controls and the tank started rumbling and moving.

"Well, well, Inu-Yasha!" said Miroku.  "What was all the commotion up there anyway?"

"SHUT UP!!!" yelled Inu-Yasha as he tossed Shippo at Miroku.  He moved his head to the side and Shippo went flying past him right towards Sango.  She picked up a pole that was sitting behind her and hit Shippo like a baseball so Shippo went sailing over to Sessho-Maru and hit him in the back of the head.

"SESSHO!!!" whined Sessho-Maru as he curled up in the fetal position and started crying.

"SHIPPO!!!" whined Shippo as he started crying as well.

"Don't you start too!" groaned Inu-Yasha.

"Start what?!" demanded Shippo.  But then it occurred to him.  "Shippo."

"All right, I've had it!!" yelled Inu-Yasha as he picked up Shippo and was just about to smash his skull into a thousand pieces when Kagome stuck her head down the little door place.

"SIT!!!!" she shrieked.  Inu-Yasha quacked foolishly and then plummeted to the ground.

"KAGOME!!!" cried Shippo as he jumped into Kagome's arms and started crying like a wimpo.

"That is so fake!!" yelled Inu-Yasha, shaking his fist at Shippo.

"When did you get here, Lady Kagome?" asked Miroku.

"I heard that you guys were being held at the local prison and when I came to bail you out with my enormously large amount of money!!" Kagome answered over Shippo's cries that were now even louder to get attention.  It was obviously fake but no one wanted to admit that Inu-Yasha was right in his rude accusations.

"Fear not, Kagome.  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru as he came up from behind Kagome.  "I have taken the matter into my own hands and freed them all from jail.  Now, where are you guys all off to next?  Sessho."

"Well…we WERE going to go to a grand mall but I fear that everyone is too traumatized by Iowa to last another minute in it…" said Kagome slowly.  "So I figure that maybe you could just drop us off at our hideous green convertible and we'll go to Missouri from there."

"I thought that maybe you would say that.  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru as he stopped the tank.  Everyone got out the tank and gave Sessho-Maru many many thanks and then he tanked away.

They all got in their regular seats and started driving.  Suddenly, Kagome let out a big, heavy sigh.

"Why did you let out a depressed sigh, Lady Kagome?" asked Miroku questioningly as he tapped Kagome on the shoulder.

"Now I have to give you a lecture…" she said.

"No, you really don't." said Sango.

"Yes I do!" Kagome said firmly.  "You guys just went and got arrested as if it didn't matter!  Then you went and broke out of jail in a tank as if that didn't matter either…"

"It doesn't…" started Inu-Yasha.

"YES IT DOES!!!!!!" screeched Kagome angrily.  "You can't just go around getting arresting and pretending as though it doesn't mean anything!!!!"

Then there was a long void in which nothing happened.

"So what are we doing in the next state?" asked Sango randomly.

"Well…I wanted to do something civilized…" Kagome started.

They crossed over the Iowa/Missouri state border at that very moment.


	21. Come to the Greatest Bug Ranch in All of...

"Meaning?" led Miroku since Kagome had suddenly gone into a trance and not finished her sentence.

"What?" Kagome asked, looking around.  "Oh right!  I wanted to do something civilized so I decided to take you all fox hunting without even thinking about anything while I made the reservations!!  HEHEHEHE!!"

"Um…Kagome…did it ever occur to you that…?" Sango tried but she lacked the words.

"How is HUNTING at all CIVILIZED?!" demanded Inu-Yasha rudely.

"Shippo is…" started Miroku.

"BUT _I'M _A FOX!!!" wailed Shippo.  "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!"

"Oh right!" said Kagome, slapping her cheeks but then remembering that she had to drive so she put her hands back on the wheel.  "Well, then I guess we could just go to a grand mall…"

"How come we always do what YOU want to do?!" asked Inu-Yasha.  "It's always 'Kagome wants us to go here!'  Can't we have a say in what we're going to do next?!"

"Well then where do you want to go?" Kagome asked, not expecting an answer because obviously he wouldn't know where to go.

Inu-Yasha paused and looked around, refusing to admit that he actually didn't have anywhere to go.  At that moment, they passed a little sign that said 'Come to the Greatest Bug Ranch in All of Missouri!!'  "I wanna go there." Inu-Yasha said like some kind of crazy five year old.

"No you don't." Kagome said, looking annoyed.

"Yes I do." Inu-Yasha replied as he crossed his arms stubbornly.

"Trust me, you don't." Kagome assured him.

"Lady Kagome, I think _I _want to go there too." Miroku said with a wistful sigh.

"I'm kind of curious…" Sango admitted.

"SNIFFLE!!!" cried Shippo since he was still yearning attention.

"But that mall looks so grand…" Kagome complained as they went passed a mall that was bouncing around with musical notes flying out of it and stuff.

"Don't make me start chanting 'Bug Ranch'." Inu-Yasha warned.

"FINE!!" yelled Kagome.  "You guys have to promise that if I go to this stupid Bug Ranch then none of these bugs or the guys WATCHING the bugs will die or have any harm inflicted on them."

"Fine." Said Inu-Yasha.

"You REALLY have to promise!" Kagome continued.

"Come on!" said Inu-Yasha, sounding a bit frustrated.  "When have I EVER broken a promise, hurt someone or lied?!"  Then he smiled and his teeth went PING!!

Kagome stared at him and then looked forward at the road again.  "Maybe we shouldn't go." She said as she pulled into the rest area.

"NO!!!" screamed Shippo.  "BUG RANCH!!!!!!!"

"DON'T WORRY!!!" Kagome yelled back.  "We're just going to rest a little while in the rest area and stretch and stuff!"

"WEE!!" said Miroku as he jumped out the car without even opening the door and then started frolicking around the car.  "It's a rest area!!  There are none of these remarkable inventions in our world!!  I think I shall introduce them for when we get back and go down in history for inventing rest areas!!  But first, yonder I see what your world calls a 'Port-a-Pottie', the grotesque little portable facility in which you relieve yourself!  I, unfortunately, must experience the horror of this invention that I will make sure never to introduce to our world!"  Then he skipped off whistling Dixie.

"The first sign that we have been in this car far too long." Said Kagome.  "But nature calls so I need to use the Port-a-Pottie too!"  Then she frolicked off but not quite as happily as Miroku.

Inu-Yasha, Shippo and Sango got retarded little drops and sat there in the car looking in the direction of the Port-a-Pottie.

"Oh, don't mind if I do!" came Miroku's voice.  They all turned around just in time to see Miroku vaulting over the door and landing the driver's seat.  "Buckle up for safety everyone!"  Then he buckled his seatbelt and whipped out a driver's manual.

"What do you think you're doing?" asked Sango.

"Fear not." Said Miroku, putting his hand up.  "I simply created a diversion so that Kagome would be distracted and now I will just drive around the Rest Area.  Nothing harmful.  Now let's open this driver's manual…ahh…Driving For Dummies!!"

"Where did you get that?" Inu-Yasha asked, reaching for the book.

Miroku spun around.  "They were so available in the police station!" he replied protectively.  "By putting them there, they were simply BEGGING to be taken by random bystanders such as myself!"

"Well, if you're going to be driving then I'm getting out." Inu-Yasha said as he opened the door.

"Fine then!" Miroku said, turning a few pages.

"Um…I'm getting out too." Sango said as she stepped out as well.  "Just make sure you don't…um…kill anyone."

"Me?!" Miroku said as if he were offended.  "PLEASE!!  I am a monk."

"I wanna ride in the car!!" yelled Shippo as he jumped up front.  "Can I turn on Sugar Beats?"

"NEVER!!" Miroku yelled as he grabbed the two CDs, scratched them viciously, snapped them in half, tossed them into the air and then released his air void and sucked them up.  "Mwa ha ha ha ha.  Ask me again, Shippo."

"Sniff!" said Shippo as he wiped his eyes.

Miroku let out a big ol' sigh.  "That wasn't very nice of me." He concluded.  "Please forgive me, Shippo.  My blinding desire to drive has clouded my judgment resulting in foolish acts such as the one I just did."  Then he picked up the case and handed it to Shippo.  "But that CD really annoys me.  You can keep the case though.  I have no qualms about you clutching onto the case as if it were your teddy bear."

"YAY!!!" said Shippo as he caressed the CD case.

"Do you think we should go and inform Kagome on what Miroku is doing?" Sango whispered to Inu-Yasha.

"No, I want to see what happens." Inu-Yasha replied.  "Besides, if we do then Kagome will come out, get in the driver's seat and then take us to a mall."

"But what if he gets hurt?"

"He's wearing a seatbelt!  What could happen?!"

"I guess you're right." Sango replied.  "But in any case…I'm taking a few steps backwards from the car…" And that's exactly what she did!!  Inu-Yasha did it too because he didn't want to be flattened.

"All right…" Miroku said, flipping through the pages of Driving For Dummies.  "Take out keys, insert keys in ignition, turn key, put car in drive, step on the gas, drive…it's so simple!"  Then he hit his own forehead to express his feeling of stupidity.  "A CHILD could do it!"

"Can I do it?" asked Shippo.

"No." Miroku said as he pulled out the keys and stuffed them in the ignition after the third or forth try.  After pressing a few buttons and pulling a few levers, he finally put it in drive.  "And now…to make it MOVE!!"

At that exact point, Kagome came out of the bathroom and noticed that… MIROKU WAS SITTING IN THE DRIVER'S SEAT!!!  "STOP!!!" she yelled, waving her arms around as she made her way over to the car while making her way over to the car.  She nearly collapsed from exhaustion as she finally made her way over to car as Miroku only kind of stared at her.

"I guess I'm not in very good shape…" she gasped.  "Miroku, the next time you get in the driver's seat, I will kill you."

"I was just looking." Miroku said, hanging his head low.

"Then how did it get ON?!" Kagome yelled, swinging the door open and gesturing for him to get out.

"I wanted to see what it looked like when it was ON!" he explained.

"You've seen it before!!!" Kagome pointed out.  "NOW EVERYONE GET IN BECAUSE WE'RE GOING TO A MALL!!!!!"

"BUT YOU SAID WE COULD GO TO THE BUG FARM!!!" yelled everyone.

"Oh right!" Kagome said with a laugh as she chuckled warmly.  Everyone pondered about Kagome's current mental health as they got in the car without any further protest.  "My, it's quiet in here!  Let's turn on the radio!!"  Then she turned on the radio and listened to all the stations but there was nothing on.

"That's all right, we didn't NEED to listen to music." Said Inu-Yasha in the feh tone.

"Fine, we'll just listen to Sugar Beats!!" said Kagome as she started looking around on the dashboard for the CD.  After a few seconds of looking, she stopped and paused.  "All right!  Whose caressing my Sugar Beats CD!  Shippo?"

"It wasn't me!" Shippo cried.  "It was Miroku!"

"Miroku!" Kagome said with a smile.  "So you decided you like Sugar Beats now?  I knew you'd come around if you listened to it long enough!"

"Um…yeah…" Miroku said slowly.

"So…can I have it now?" Kagome asked.

"I lost it." Miroku replied.

"You lost it?"

"Yes."

"He lost it." Inu-Yasha assured her.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" yelled Kagome dramatically as she swerved over to the breakdown lane and stopped the car.  She started searching frantically around on the floor of the car as everyone slapped their foreheads.

"It must have fallen down a crack…or a hole…" Miroku said.  "Um…in between two seats…"

"I MUST FIND IT!!" Kagome said as tears streamed down her face.  "I LOVE that CD with all my heart!"

"I'm sorry, Lady Kagome." Miroku said, hanging his head low.  "I didn't mean to lose it.  I must have just misplaced it."

"Do you remember where you misplaced it?" asked Kagome desperately.

"Um…no…"

"He lies!!" yelled Shippo.

"Why you…!" Miroku said as a black aura appeared around him.

"So you DO remember where it is?"

"Yes…but…we can't go back because otherwise I will just have to suck you all in the void within me." Miroku threatened.

"Um…okay." Said Kagome since she didn't want that to happen and since Miroku was acting kind of weird, there's no telling WHAT he would do!  HAW HAW HAW!!  Then they kept driving for a little while until they came across another sign.

"Look at the size of those bugs!!" said Shippo excitedly since the sign said 'The Bug Ranch is REEEEEEEEEALLY Close!!' and there was a picture of a cowboy riding a gigantic bug.  "Oh surah!!  I can't wait to ride a bug!!"

Kagome paused and decided not to be the one to puncture his bubble.

"I want to see these giant demonic bugs and perhaps smite them." Said Inu-Yasha as he started cracking his knuckles.

"No, you promised that you wouldn't do any smiting!" Kagome reminded him.

"Oh right." Sighed Inu-Yasha as he slumped back in his seat.

"Of course, just to be safe, perhaps I should bring my idiotically large boomerang." Said Sango.

"No, you shouldn't." Kagome said firmly as if talking to her children.

Then they pulled into a parking lot of a ranch looking place.  "Then I guess I should put it back then…" Sango said, holding up her boomerang.  Kagome's eye twitched as she turned around and glared at Sango.

"Do you think that perhaps I could take the car for a little spin while you indulge yourself with the large bugs?" Miroku asked as Kagome started to open the door.

"_I'M _not going in!!" she HOLL-ered.  "I'm going to be looking for my Sugar Beats CD!!"

"Why are you so obsessed over finding it?" Miroku said, shaking his head.

"The whole reason she's missing it is because YOU 'lost' it!" Sango said angrily as she hoisted her gigantic boomerang over her head and then hit Miroku on the head with it, fully expecting him to just say 'Ow!' and have a stupid looking lump on his head but she only ended up knocking him unconscious!!!  "MY GRACIOUS!!!  HOSH-SAMA!!!" yelled Sango as she tossed her boomerang behind her and started caring for him in his state of unconsciousness.

"I'll wait for you, Kagome!" said Shippo as she jumped onto Kagome's head.

"I think we might just leave, after all, we're all very traumatized…" started Kagome but Inu-Yasha interrupted her.

"No way!!" he yelled.  "We always go places where YOU want to go and when we finally stop at some place that may be mildly interesting and WE wanted to go there then you decided that it's time to leave!!  I WON'T STAND FOR IT!!  I'M GOING IN THE BUG FARM!!!"

"Fine!" said Kagome, taking a few steps backwards.  "We'll wait for you in the car, okay?"

"Feh." Said Inu-Yasha as he crossed his arms and then walked towards the Bug Farm with that walk that was all like 'You can tell by the way I use my walk, I'm a woman's man, no time to talk,' but actually, no, his walk was more like he was saying 'I'm going here just to prove something' since I don't think Inu-Yasha would ever walk as if he's a woman man and has no time to talk.  HAW HAW HAW!

"I HAVE to find that Sugar Beats CD!" said Kagome as she started lifting up the seats and shifting around the piles of tissues on the floor.

Shippo decided to let her continue this because if he had told her what had REALLY happened to her Sugar Beats CD, she would start hyperventilating, have a heart attack and then DIE.

Sango was far too busy to tell Kagome what had really happened to her Sugar Beats CD.  After all, when you knock out a guy, that's bad but when you knock out a MONK…WOW.

And as for Miroku, he didn't tell Kagome what really happened to her Sugar Beats CD because well…he's unconscious.

AND INU-YASHA ISN'T THERE SO HE DIDN'T TELL HER EITHER!!!  YAY!!

Seconds, minutes and hours passed and Kagome was STILL looking for her Sugar Beats CD.  At about that time, Inu-Yasha returned from his little excursion at the Bug Ranch with a little flag and wearing a hat and t-shirt that had the logo on them all.

He approached the car and sat down in the front seat.  "You guys don't know WHAT you missed." He said as he picked up a bug stuffed animal.  "That was just about the most fun I've ever had in my entire life."

"Look, you're the one who demanded on coming so you don't have to make fun of me…" started Kagome.

"What?" said Inu-Yasha, confused.  "I'm SERIOUS!  It was fun!"

"Yeah right." Kagome said as she started the car.

"But really!" said Inu-Yasha, starting to get frustrated.  "I was just wondering if we could maybe go to another one when we don't have anything to do in a certain state!"

"All right!  I get it!  You don't have to drag it out so long!" Kagome yelled.

Inu-Yasha crossed his arms as Kagome pulled out of the parking lot and passed over the state border to Arkansas without even having to stop to fill up their gas tank.


	22. A Log Cabin in Arkansas and Many Odd Dre...

Kagome got out of the car and gave a mighty yawn.  "I figured we could just stay at this log cabin tonight!" she said, pointing at the log cabin that was all secluded and the middle of the woods.  "That way we could REALLY get the feel for this Arkansas land!!"

Then she grabbed all her stuff, friends and all of THEIR stuff and hoisted it ALL onto a single shoulder and carried it in the log cabin.  Then dropped it all in the middle of the floor.  The log cabin was one of those completely empty ones with only one room that served as a bedroom, kitchen AND living room!!  HURRAH!

"All the guys on one half and all the girls in the other!!" she declared with horseshoe eyes as she frolicked off to one side of the room and began laying out her sleeping bag.

Sango paused and then stood up.  "Watch over him!" she commanded, pointing at Miroku.

"What happened?" asked Inu-Yasha as he began to munch his potato chips that he purchased at the bug farm.

"Um…he suffered serious head trauma." Sango said, hoping that he didn't get brain damage and just DIE.  But then she left, not feeling all THAT bad because if he was dead then she wouldn't have to deal with him being perverted anymore!!  But then again, he IS a hosh…

"Look at these cool 'sleeping bags' that Kagome bought us while no one was watching her!!" yelled Shippo excitedly as he pulled out his sleeping and lied it down on the floor.  It wasn't really a rectangular sleeping bag, it was actually just a little square one since he's about as tall as he is wide!  What would be the point of getting a RECTANGLE sleeping bag for someone so tiny but then again, what would be the point of ordering a SQUARE sleeping bag to be specially made since Shippo's going to grow anyway?!  ARGH!!

So, as Shippo dove comfortably in his sleeping bag headfirst and began snoring loudly even though, he might very well, still be awake.

Inu-Yasha was having a bit of trouble getting into his.  He had long since figured out the zipper but now the trouble was that it was stuck.  Being unsuccessful in opening it, he only ended up tearing it apart.

SO he just swiped Miroku's sleeping bag from underneath him and eventually ended up tearing HIS apart too!  ARGH!!

By now, Inu-Yasha was officially frustrated so to take out his anger, he tore apart Shippo's sleeping bag as well.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" cried Shippo as he threw a temper tantrum and ran over to Kagome.

"You can sleep with ME!" said Kagome as she opened up her sleeping bag and Shippo climbed in.

"Feh." Said Inu-Yasha as he crossed his arms.  "I don't need a sleeping bag."  Then he walked over to the corner of the room, sat down and went to sleep.

Kagome was dreaming that night.  Well…she dreams EVERY night but we decided that it would be a good idea to describe what she was dreaming about.

"Kagome…" said Inu-Yasha as he approached Kagome.  "I have given up Kikyo forever.  I have decided that I hate her immensely and I love you."

_"Inu-Yasha!" Kagome yelled as she hugged Inu-Yasha.  _

_Suddenly, a little miniature Inu-Yasha and a miniature Kagome frolicked up and hugged them both._

_"DAD!!" said the miniature Inu-Yasha._

_"MOM!!" said the miniature Kagome.  (No, the children aren't sexist, they just came from different directions and the parents they named happened to be the closest ones.)_

_"Oh Inu-Yasha Jr.!" Kagome said happily as she hugged her spawn.  "Kagome the second!"_

_"I love you both!" said Inu-Yasha as he hugged his children.  "And I love you too my wonderful wife." Then he kissed Kagome._

Yes…it WAS a wonderful dream for her.  She was also smiling in her sleep and sighing and all kinds of happy stuff.

On the other hand, Sango was having a BAD dream.  

 __

_Sango was running and running and running and running and running.  Kohaku was right in front of her being beat up by Naraku for no reason._

_"KOHAKU!!" Sango yelled as she reached her arm out.  Suddenly, she was attacked from behind by someone.  IT WAS KOHAKU!!  OH DEAR LORD!!!  "Kohaku?!  Why are you attacking me?!  STOP!!"_

_But he didn't stop and he eventually maimed Sango.  (But this is a dream so don't worry.)_

Shippo was lying on top of Kagome.  He was drooling and sprawled out.  He was ALSO dreaming.

_Shippo was frolicking through a field of flowers.  _

_"La la la la la la la la!!" Shippo sang as he skipped merrily while holding a basket and randomly picking up raspberries which were about the size of him.  "This looks like a lovely one!"_

_"Shippo!" came Inu-Yasha's voice as Inu-Yasha came skipping up a hill while wearing a colorful clown suit.  "I want to play too!"_

_"OKAY!!" Shippo yelled to Inu-Yasha.  "And everyone else can play too!"_

_Then Miroku, Sango and Kagome came up the hill too.  Kagome was all dwarfified and was wearing a tuxedo._

_"HI SHIPPO!!" she said in a voice that sounded like she had been smoking since she was born._

_"HI SHIPPO!!" said Sango.  She was wearing a fluffy pink dress and a big pink bow.  Her hair was curly and blond so she didn't really look like Sango but she WAS!!_

_"YAY!!" said Miroku as he frolicked up the hill wearing overalls and a train conductor's hat.  He had a pipe in his mouth that was puffing big pink clouds of smoke in the shape of hearts._

_"LET'S ALL PLAY THE SHIPPO GAME!!" Shippo exclaimed._

_"YAY!!" said everyone else._

Shippo couldn't help but laugh hysterically at his dream while he was sleeping.

_Miroku was sitting on a throne and wearing robes and a crown and jewels and all kinds of things.  Suddenly, some random slave ran up._

_"Good news your majesty!" said the slave.  "Our troops have slaughtered Naraku!"_

_"EXCELLENT!" said King Miroku.  Then he tossed off his little hand thingy.  "I'M FREE!!  YAY!!!"_

_"What will you do to celebrate?" asked the slave._

_Miroku thought for a minute.  Then he turned to his left and next to him was a cage that held Inu-Yasha in it.  Inu-Yasha was snarling ravenously and he had a chain collar around his neck.  _

_Miroku opened Inu-Yasha's cage and Inu-Yasha jumped out of the cage and attacked and ate the slave while Miroku chuckled warmly._

_Suddenly, Sango in some really REALLY skimpy outfit walked out holding the hand of a child that looked exactly like Miroku._

_"Good news!" said Sango.  "It seems that Miroku Jr. has mysteriously been cured of the curse that your family carries!  Has Naraku been defeated?!"_

_"YES!" said Miroku._

_Then Kagome came out.  She looked the same as she did in Shippo's dream.  All dwarf sized and with a weird voice._

_"HURRAH!!" she said as she did a little dance._

Inu-Yasha's dream…didn't quite…make as much sense as the other's.  No.  It made even less sense than Shippo's dream.

_"HEY YA HEY YA HEY YA!!" sang a really stupid mouse.  Inu-Yasha stood over the mouse ominously.  "Ah!  I love the sound of a demon singing!  SING FOR ME DEMON PERSON!!"_

_"I am not a demon." Said Inu-Yasha._

_"Ah!" said the mouse.  "Perhaps that is why I'm not afraid of you!  Why should I be afraid of someone who doesn't even know who he is."_

_"I KNOW WHO I AM!!" Inu-Yasha bellowed.  "I AM THE SON OF SOME RANDOM HUMAN WOMAN AND SOME DOG DEMON WHO HAPPENS TO BE QUITE THE POWERFUL DEMON!!"_

_"And I am…" started the mouse but Inu-Yasha pulled out his Tetsusaiga and commenced in smiting the mouse.  YAY!!!_

So those were their dreams.  I hope you liked them and if you didn't, then you will meet the same fate as the mouse in Inu-Yasha's dream.

So the night passed and at about 4:30 in the morning, Kagome loading everything and everyone into the car while they were still asleep.  She started the car and began the long, perilous journey to Louisiana.

It was a very peaceful ride as Kagome wistfully hummed her Sugar Beats.  But then she looked over at Inu-Yasha who was still sleeping.  "Inu…Ya…Sha…" she stuttered as she reached her hand out to touch his head or something when suddenly there was the sound of a very large truck honking its horn so Kagome looked forward to see that they were, in fact, about to crash into a very large truck so she swerved out of the way and screeched to a halt in the breakdown lane.

She clutched her heart.  "Why is my heart beating so fast?!" she said, looking over at Inu-Yasha again.  "Could it be that I LOVE Inu-Yasha?!  Is it true?!  It can't be!  But it is!  I must confess to him!!"Then she went to go and shake him awake when she felt a tap on her shoulder.  She turned around to see Miroku, Sango AND Shippo all looking at her with devious smirks on their faces.

"Is there something you want to share with us, Lady Kagome?" asked Miroku, grinning cruelly.

"Nothing!" Kagome said, turning completely red.  "And when did you guys wake up anyway?!"

"I think that would have to be when that very large truck honked its horn." Said Sango.

"No, I think it was when the car swerved to the side and I hit my head on the side of the car." Miroku said.

"I'd have to say when Kagome was sitting in the front seat confessing her love to Inu-Yasha semi to herself only more so yelling it." Shippo added.

"SHUT UP YOU GUYS!!!" yelled Kagome.  "You're going to wake up Inu-Yasha!!"

"Didn't you WANT that?" asked Miroku.

"NO!!!" yelled Kagome.

"But you said…"

"BUT I DIDN'T!!!!!!!!!!!!" Kagome yelled SO loudly that everyone was blown back into their seats and pressed against the cushions so they made indentations in the seats.

"Oh right, I completely forgot!" said Shippo.

"Good." Said Kagome as she put her foot back on the gas and started driving again.

"You didn't what?" asked Inu-Yasha who had waken up.

"NOTHING!!!" Kagome HOLL-ered.

At that exact second, they entered Louisiana.  And everyone knows that when they enter a new state, everyone starts with a clean slate!!  That's what happened too!!  KAGOME BECAME CONTENT RIGHT THEN AND THERE!!!


	23. A Sci-Fi Convention in Louisiana

"What do we plan on doing in this place, Kagome?" asked Sango.

"I thought that KAYAKING would be fun!!" Kagome answered and she decided not to explain what kayaking was to them even if they DID ask just because she's feeling in a jerkish mood!!  And then they arrived at some random ocean and I REALLY don't feel like thinking about which ocean it is.  So anyway, they arrived there and got on all their bathing suits that they bought in Minnesota and went down to the ocean while laughing as though they all had gotten some L'Oreal Shampoo.

"Okay, since you guys have OBVIOUSLY never been kayaking before, I signed us all up for kayaking lessons!" Kagome explained.

"Me?" said Inu-Yasha.  "Never been kayaking?  Feh."

"Oh be quiet, Inu-Yasha, I know you've NEVER been kayaking." Kagome said with a laugh as she gave him a shove.  Inu-Yasha was ready to snap her neck in two when the instructor came around the corner.  He was wearing a red speedo and a bathing cap and goggles and, of course, a puff.

"Good morning class!  Sessho." Said the instructor as he lifted the goggles off his head and put them on his forehead like a headband or something.

"Now this is just getting sick." Said Inu-Yasha as he turned around, unable to even look at his brother anymore.

"SO!!  Sessho." said Sessho-Maru as he clapped his hands together and rubbed them around foolishly.  "First thing we have to do is pick out a paddle that is the correct size for every one of you!  Now, it should be about up to your chin, no shorter, no longer!  There is a giant pile of paddles right over there now go and frolic children of the corn and don't come back until you have found a paddle of the appropriate size!  Sessho."

"GOODY!!!" said Kagome excitedly as she darted over to the pile of paddles.

Everyone else kind of just trudged after her.

"Hey Miroku, how about we get out of here while Kagome and Sessho-Maru aren't looking?" Inu-Yasha whispered to Miroku.

"Sounds like an impressive idea." Replied Miroku with a nod.

"CAN I COME TOO?!" yelled Shippo but he was attacked by both Miroku and Inu-Yasha who clamped their hands over his mouth.

"No, you're too annoying." Inu-Yasha answered.

"Well then I'm telling Kagome that you're leaving!" Shippo threatened.

"Very well, you may accompany us." Miroku said.  Then the three of them tip toed off back to the car to change back into clothes so they wouldn't be frolicking around in bathing suits.  "Now where do we wish to go?" said Miroku as he sat down in the driver's seat.

"Somewhere that does not require driving." Said Inu-Yasha as he grabbed Miroku by the arm and pulled him out of the car.  He dragged him over to the trunk and forced it open.  "Kagome seems to put everything in here right?"

"Yes…" said Miroku.

"So what if she put our REAL clothes in here?" Inu-Yasha continued.  "I don't know if I can stand any more of her tight other world clothes!"

"I know what you mean." Said Miroku.

"Can I play in the trunk?!" Shippo asked as he hopped into the trunk.

"Only if we can lock you in it forever!" said Inu-Yasha.  Shippo quickly jumped out and Inu-Yasha commenced in the searching that didn't last very long.  He triumphantly said, 'AHA!!' and then pulled out his big red outfit thingy.  

Miroku noticed his preisty uniform right underneath Inu-Yasha's clothes so he grabbed his as well.  

Shippo decided that the Winnie the Pooh sleepers would suit him best.

So they all got changed right then and there!!  They might have sought out privacy but then again…they might not have.

Inu-Yasha and Miroku also decided that since Kagome wasn't there, they could carry around their carriable accessories!  SO THEY DID!!

"Because we're potentially doing something that we can easily reach on foot but something not TOO far away so we don't get lost in this world, our choices are limited to that single building across the street." Explained Miroku.

"YAY!!" cheered Shippo as he perched atop Miroku's shoulder like a parrot.

Unfortunately, the street they had to cross was THE INTERSTATE HIGHWAY!

Fortunately, Inu-Yasha has superb jumping skills so he simply grabbed onto Miroku who grabbed onto Shippo and he easily made his way across and only cause a FEW accidents because some people felt it necessary to turn their necks around to see the odd dog boy in huge clothing and long hair jump across the street with some other guy in a dress and some small fox-like child.

"THE EARS!!" screamed the lady who seems to be stalking Inu-Yasha just so she can gaze upon his ears and faint.

She was ignored as the three male main characters of the story made their way inside the building.

There was a big sign in the main hallway that said, '_Battles in Space' Convention: TODAY!!  Come dressed as your favorite character and get in for free!!_

By the way, we copyright that show.  We made it up and if we see ANYONE copying it and making a show based on our ideas, they shall be thusly smote.

But Miroku, Inu-Yasha and Shippo paid no heed to the sign because they were looking for something scrumptious to eat and hoped that this building would serve them the food that they desired.

"CHECK IT OUT DEXTER!!" came a voice.  Suddenly two EXTREMELY nerdy and pubescent boys ran up to Inu-Yasha, Miroku and Shippo.  

"What is it Dimitri?" asked Dexter.

"This guy's dressed up as Emperor Shrag!" said Dimitri as he pointed to Miroku.  "He even carries his little pet, Zoplupe on his shoulder!"

"DEAR GOD!!" screamed Dexter.  "You're RIGHT!!"

"I can't figure out what this other guy is." Said Dimitri as he pointed to Inu-Yasha.

"Emperor Shrag?" Miroku asked with his hand on his chin.  "Hm…perhaps I DO resemble an emperor."

"HAVE YOU TWO BEEN CHEATING ON ME?!" came a voice from behind Dexter and Dimitri.  Suddenly, the two boys exploded.  Suddenly, from within the pile of Dimitri and Dexter remains arose…JAKOTSU!!  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

"Why are YOU here?!" Inu-Yasha demanded.

"Simply enjoying a convention for my favorite show." Jakotsu answered.  "As you can see, I am dressed up as my FAVORITE character, Captain Dirk."

"Are we the ONLY ones that have no knowledge whatsoever of Lady Kagome's world?" asked Miroku as he leaned over to Inu-Yasha.

"Well you know…" started Jakotsu as he latched onto Miroku and Inu-Yasha.  "Now that my two male friends have been obliterated, I'm going to need REPLACEMENTS!  I think I've found my special friends!"

"Don't TOUCH me!" Inu-Yasha HOLL-ered.

"You're so cute when you're angry!" Jakotsu said.  Inu-Yasha held up his gargantuan sword to smite Jakotsu but it was stolen from him by Jakotsu.

"GIVE THAT BACK!!" Inu-Yasha yelled.  Jakotsu allowed the sword to shrink back to its stupid little size and then he put it down his pants.  

"If you want it back, you're going to have to get it yourself!" he said with a grin.  Then he turned to Miroku and grabbed his right hand.  "And don't think for a second that I won't do the same with YOUR weapon."

"Oh my GOD!!" Miroku yelled as he pulled away as fast as he could.  "Please!!  I am a MONK!!"  Then he looked at Shippo and covered Shippo's eyes protectively.  "There are children present!  Do not fill Shippo's mind with such horrid, disgusting thoughts!!"

"Give me back my sword you stupid idiot head!!!" yelled Inu-Yasha as he used the power of his scabbard to make the sword return to him and then Jakotsu changed his pants in record-breaking time.  Inu-Yasha glared evilly at him.

"So anyway…" said Jakotsu to Miroku as he waved his arms around as if he had the basket and you can so obviously tell he does.  "Might I say how exactly alike you look to Emperor Shrag!!  I mean…I'm impressed…"

"Well, that's not something I strive for…" said Miroku.

Then abruptly, they speedily walked off in the other direction so Jakotsu wouldn't be there anymore.  After a few minutes, they stumbled across Sessho-Maru, oddly enough.

"Good evening.  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru as he tipped his hat.  He was dressed as some crazy space cowboy with a screwed up forehead and a puff.  Then he slapped his hands to his cheeks and gasped dramatically.  "You look JUST like Emperor Shrag!!!  Sessho."

"I get that a lot." Said Miroku.

"Hey Sessho-Maru…" started Inu-Yasha as he tapped Sessho-Maru on the shoulder.

"Sessho?" said Sessho-Maru as he turned around.

"Did you come here with Jakotsu and plan some sort of evil stupid plan to freak us out and catch us off guard?" he asked.

"Jakotsu?!  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru as he started looking around.

"PRESENT!!!" said Jakotsu who had appeared out of nowhere.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" yelled Sessho-Maru, Miroku, Inu-Yasha and Shippo as they frantically ran around in circles with their arms flailing about so they looked like fools while Jakotsu just stood there like a knave.

"WAIT!!!" yelled Inu-Yasha as he stopped randomly in place and everyone crashed into him.  Then he adjusted his collar.  "I am far too COOL to be running around flailing my arms about while screaming."

"Oh yes, so am I.  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru.

"Well, you WERE before this story but now it's just fitting for you to be doing so." Inu-Yasha pointed out.

"The same for ME!!" said Jakotsu.

Everyone paused.  "No…you were never cool." Said Miroku finally.

"Lur." Said Shippo since he was beginning to forget how to speak.

"How dare you!" yelled Jakotsu as he shook his fist.  "I have killed a man for less than that!!"

"But I am a monk." Said Miroku.

"Don't use that as an excuse!!!" yelled Jakotsu.  "And besides, I wasn't even talking to you!  The word 'lur' offends me!"

"You wanna make something of it?!" demanded Shippo as he put up his fists and started bouncing back and forth like a boxer or like Blank or something.

"No." said Jakotsu.  "Not really.  I'm afraid that you neither strike me as attractive or offend me enough in order to start a battle."

"Fine then." Said Shippo as he stomped off make big Shippo sized (so they weren't really that big) footprints in the ground.

"So where was I?!" Jakotsu asked as he turned around only to see that he was alone.  So he frolicked off in search of his little friends.

"Is he gone yet?" asked Inu-Yasha as he peeked out of a barrel.

"Almost completely gone…" answered Miroku as he stood in a little SCENE thingy pretending to be Emperor Shrag.

"I'm afraid!  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru.

"I thought I said you COULDN'T hide with us!!" Inu-Yasha yelled.

"But he would have gotten me!  Sessho."

"GOOD!!"

"You make me sad, my dear younger brother.  Sessho."

"Shall we go off and find Shippo?" Miroku asked as he abruptly changed the subject.

"LET'S!!  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru.

"Okay Sessho-Maru." Said Inu-Yasha.  "YOU go find Shippo and Miroku and I will…uh…smite Jakotsu."

"OH JOY!!!  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru as he skipped off in search of the elusive little fox/human child. 

"Now let's get out of here!" said Inu-Yasha to Miroku but Miroku…WAS NOT THERE!!!  ARGH!!  

Actually…he was.

"Okay." Said Miroku as they started heading toward the door to get out of the convention area.

MEANWHILE!!

"Kagome?" asked Sango as she climbed into her Kayak.  "Did you notice that the boys aren't here?"

Kagome sighed.

"Yeah." She answered in an annoyed tone.  "I saw them walk off as if I wouldn't notice."

"And you let them?"

"Yeah." Kagome replied.  "I figured that if I didn't let them go then all they would do is whine and complain and ruin this for ME."

"You've got a point there." Said Sango.  "Now we have to go and get them."

"We should be able to find them pretty easily." Kagome sighed.

MEANWHILE!!

"Don't worry, there's plenty for all!" said Miroku as he signed a piece of paper.  "To…?"

"Christina!" said the girl in the front row.

"To Christina, Love Emperor Shrag.  PS: Would you please bear my child?" Miroku read out loud as he signed it for her.

Christina giggled and showed all her friends who giggled as well and skipped merrily off.

"Wow!" Miroku exclaimed.  "Fred Flintstone's method is flawless!"

"Can we go before Jakotsu gets back?" Inu-Yasha whined.

"Just one more." Miroku announced to the crowd of people in front of him.  Someone shoved a piece of paper in front of Miroku.  "To whom shall I make this out to?"

"Jakotsu." Said Jakotsu.  "And YES!!  I would love to bear your child at some point!  Though…it WOULD be physically impossible, it would still be fun to try!"

"ARGH!!" Miroku yelled as he snatched the autograph back.  "You sicken me!"

"MELT HIM WITH YOUR MAGICAL STAFF OF SHRAG!!!" yelled some random geeky kid who was in the crowd of people and was dressed up as if he was cos-playing as Emperor Shrag since he probably was.

"NO!!" yelled Jakotsu.  "SPARE ME!!!"

"Prepare to die!!" Miroku said dramatically as he raised his staff.

"Um…Miroku?" said Inu-Yasha, tapping him on the shoulder.  "I don't think that will work."

"Oh right!" said Miroku as he slapped his forehead.  "Now let's go!!"  Then they ran out of the room as fast as they could.

"FARE WELL EMPEROR SHRAG!!!" called all of the nerdy people.

"Huh?" said Jakotsu as he opened his eyes after cowering in fear.  "Hey!  Where'd they go?!"

"To the SHRAGMOBILE!!!" answered everyone as they pointed out the door.

"But of COURSE!!" said Jakotsu as he pointed his finger up in the air and darted out of the room.

"FARE WELL CAPTAIN DIRK!!" called all the geeky people.  "FIND EMPEROR SHRAG, DESTROY HIM AND AVENGE YOUR FATHER AND THEN RETURN TO YOUR HOME PLANET OF ZAMBA!!"

"Where is this 'Shragmobile' that these kind people speak of?" Miroku asked.

"Forget it!" Inu-Yasha yelled.  "That's where they told Jakotsu we were going!  He's heading toward it and we should head AWAY from it!"

"Ah!" Miroku said.  "Excellent idea!"

So they both abruptly stopped and turned left.

"Where's the exit?!" Inu-Yasha demanded.  "We'll NEVER find our way out of this accursed place!  Miroku, would you mind terribly if I…Miroku?"  Inu-Yasha turned around to see Miroku not there!!  AND THIS TIME, HE'S REALLY NOT!!

"IT'S ME!!" Miroku yelled excitedly as he popped up in front of Inu-Yasha suddenly.  He was holding up an Emperor Shrag action figure.  "I'm a novelty toy!"

"Sir." Said some monotonous fan of the Space Battles.  "If you want that, you'll have to pay for it.  Don't put fingerprints on the package if you don't intend to buy it."

"I DO intend to purchase this!" Miroku said as he pulled out the remainder of his money.  (A one hundred and thirty seven dollar bill.)

"Why, that's EXACTLY how much that cost!" said the seller guy.

"Oh HURRAH!!" said Miroku as he ripped open the package.  "LOOK AT ALL THE ACCESSORIES I COME WITH!!  A little clip on Shippo!!  Or…" He looked at the instruction manual.  "Zoplupe?"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" yelled the seller person.  "You mustn't take it out of its ORIGINAL package!!  It loses its collector's value!!  NOOOOO!!"  Then he shriveled up and melted into a pile of goo.

"This poor man." Said Miroku as he did the one handed pray.  Then he opened his eyes.  "Well…now I can take all of this stuff that looks like me!"

"Miroku!" Inu-Yasha whined.  "WE HAVE TO GO!!"

"Come on Inu-Yasha…" Miroku whined back.  "Jakotsu will never find us.  This place is huge and he's off looking for the 'Shragmobile'.  Take a break and perhaps you'll find a toy that resembles you!"

Suddenly, Sessho-Maru ran up holding Shippo up by his tail.

"I FOUND HIM!!  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru.

"You weren't supposed to!" whined Inu-Yasha.  (He's whining a lot today.)  "Something tells me that I would have had MORE fun with Kagome…"

MEANWHILE!!

"Where is Sessho-Maru?!" demanded Kagome as she sat on the shore in her little kayak.  Sango sat next to her in her own.  They were both holding their paddles and ready for someone to push them off but the kayak on the other side of Kagome was empty and the paddle was just sitting there.  "He said he only had to go to the bathroom."  Sango and Kagome sighed.  

"Well…" said Sango.  "Shall we go find the guys?"

"I think we should let them find US!" said Kagome with a chuckle. 

"I don't want to have to wait more than I need to." Said Sango as she got out of her kayak up.  "Who says they'll even come look for us?"

"Um…because I know Inu-Yasha more than that." Said Kagome.

"Fine." Said Sango.  "YOU can wait for Inu-Yasha…and I'LL go and see if I can find them."

"You always ruin all the fun." Said Kagome.  Then the two of them walked outside and looked around.

"The car's still here." Said Sango as she pointed to the car.  (Duh…)

"AHA!!!" came a voice behind them.  They turned around to see Jakotsu running up to the car.  "THE SHRAGMOBILE!!  I can recognize that hideous green Shragmobile any day.  But…where are they?"

"OH MY GOD!!!" yelled Kagome.  "You're dressed up as Captain Dirk!!"

"Why yes, I am!" Jakotsu said as wind started blowing behind him.  "There's a Battles in Space Convention going on across the street!"

"NO WAY!!!" screamed Kagome as she nearly fainted.  "I love that show!"

"Me too!!" agreed Jakotsu as the two joined hands and jumped around in circles while screeching.  While they were engaged in that, Sango took a few steps backwards so that no one would think that she was with them.  And then five seconds later, Inu-Yasha, Miroku, Shippo and Sessho-Maru came out of the building across the street.

"But I won't be a burden at all!!  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru as he followed them around.  "I just want to see the bright lights of Mississippi!!  Sessho."

"Find your OWN way there!!" yelled Inu-Yasha.  Then they all simultaneously noticed Jakotsu and Kagome dancing around in circles because, after all, they were being rather noisy.

"So you have followed us, Jakotsu!" said Miroku.  At that moment, Jakotsu turned around.

"I KNEW you'd come sooner or later!" Jakotsu exclaimed as he flicked Kagome to the side.

"That was JAKOTSU?!" Kagome said as she looked all foolish and offended.

"YES!!!" said Jakotsu as he ripped off his Captain Dirk uniform to reveal that he was wearing his normal Jakotsu-ish clothing.

"I knew it!" said Sango dramatically.

"Leave this to me!" Inu-Yasha declared as he drew his gigantic sword and leapt into the air while yelling a battle cry.

"SIT!!" yelled Kagome.  Inu-Yasha crashed the ground with a quack.

"Why did you do that, Lady Kagome?" asked Miroku.  "Don't you wish for Jakotsu's demise?"

"Yes!" Kagome said angrily.  "It's just that you guys went and took your clothes and weapons out of the trunk when I specifically told you not to so I wanted to punish you guys and I thought that this was the best time to do so!"

"Well because of your idiotic decision, Jakotsu's getting away!" Inu-Yasha yelled as he lifted his head up from the Inu-Yasha imprint that was now embedded in the street.

"Oh phooey!" said Kagome as she watched Jakotsu frolic around.  "Why go after him anyway?  He's not posing any sort of threat to our lives."  Then she looked around at the crowd that was now gathering around them.  "I think a crowd is starting to get suspicious…"

"Suspicious of what?" asked Shippo.

"It's a reenactment of episode ninety-two!!" yelled some random geeky person who was dressed up as someone from Battles in Space.  "It's the episode in which the leader alien from the race of Crolians dresses up like Captain Dirk and allows himself to be captured by Emperor Shrag and just before he is about to meet his end, he throws off his Captain Dirk costume and starts his showdown with Shrag because when Shrag was just a kid, the race of Crolians blew up his home planet and TORTURED AND KILLED HIS FATHER right in front of him and then put a curse upon Shrag and the only way of getting released from the curse is to DESTROY HIM!!!"

"Well…did Shrag destroy him?" asked Miroku.

"I DON'T KNOW!!!" yelled the geeky kid.  "THE EPISODE WAS NEVER CONTINUED!!!"

"Some say that he did destroy him and his curse was lifted and lived happily ever after!" said a girl with abnormally large braces.  "Though others say that the Crolians defeated him and then went after Captain Dirk and his crew!!"

"Right before the episode ended, Captain Dirk's first mate, Kajumba, and the Crolian alien started fighting to the DEATH!!" said the first geeky person.

At that exact moment, Sessho-Maru stepped forward and smiled like Angemon.  Jakotsu struck a dramatic fighting pose and then the two of them engaged in a very dramatic fight…TO THE DEATH!!!

"All right…I think it's time we left…" said Kagome as she quietly shooed everyone into the convertible and drove off as quickly as she could.  It just so happen that she accidentally went into warp speed and ended up in Mississippi before everyone even realized it!!  BUT GRACIOUS ME!!!  We accidentally also drove into the Mississippi River!  What are we going to do with you, Kagome?


	24. Mississippi Has Anger Management and Sho...

"Are we feeling a bit tense?" asked Sango.

"No, not really." Kagome replied as she reached under her seat and pulled out a CD.  "Who wants to listen to SUGAR BEATS?!"

"ME!!!" yelled Shippo.

"Feh." Said Inu-Yasha.

"Um…I don't care." Said Sango.

"Where did you get that?!" yelled Miroku.

"I found it under the seat!!" Kagome replied.  "Isn't that just silly?!  It was there the WHOLE time!  Now you don't have to feel bad anymore, Miroku!"  Then she put the Sugar Beats CD in the CD slot thingy and it started playing 'We Got the Beats!'

"Curse these children!" Miroku said under his breath as he secretly plotted to destroy that CD as well.

Sango leaned over to him at this moment.  "Don't secretly plan to destroy this CD as well." She whispered.  "I used your money to buy it."

"My money?" Miroku said, looking sad.  "I spent my money though…"

"I bought it BEFORE you spent it all."

"Why?"

"Because I felt bad for Kagome.  You destroyed one of the very few things that makes her content."

"Please, I am a monk." Said Miroku.  "I do not harm any living thing."

"The Sugar Beats aren't alive."

"When did I say they WERE?"

"Hey, Kagome, did you by any chance fail to notice the fact that we're floating down a river?" Inu-Yasha asked suddenly as he looked over the edge of the car.

"Oh I know very well that we're floating down a river!" said Kagome with a smile as she turned down the Sugar Beats.  "I just choose to do nothing about it!  Why don't YOU guys do something productive for a change?"

"Uh…" said everyone.

"Come on, we do 90% of the work in our own world so you do 90% in your own world!" said no one in particular.

"But that 90% of work is distributed among you all no matter HOW unevenly!" Kagome pointed out.  "Inu-Yasha probably does 80%, Miroku and Sango combined probably do about 8%, Shippo does absolutely nothing at all and the other 2% is just for someone who will randomly show up and contribute like Kouga or Kaede or something!"

"So are you saying that you do more work than both of us combined?" said Miroku, pointing to himself and Sango.

"Yes, absolutely!" Kagome answered, crossing her arms.  "Sango's WAY too emotional and that just gets COUNTER productive and every now and then she'll throw her boomerang but half the time she'll get hit with it herself!  And as for you Miroku, you have gotten poisoned more times than I can even count and not to mention the fact that you'll just wander off whenever you feel like it without even telling us and we're forced to sit there and do nothing!"  Then she noticed Inu-Yasha plummet to the bottom of the car.  "Oh…sorry about that Inu-Yasha.  So anyway, whenever those bees are around, we can pretty much assume that Miroku's going to be doing a lot of nothing!!"

"Oh so what do YOU do, Kagome?" asked someone who was feeling rather short tempered.

"I shoot arrows and find the Shikon shards!" Kagome said.

"But there would be no Shikon shards if you hadn't come!" Inu-Yasha said.

"Hey if it weren't for me then you'd still be on that tree!" said Kagome.

"Well I wouldn't have known the difference!" said Inu-Yasha.

"Hey, I DO stuff!!" Shippo said suddenly.  At that exact moment, everyone started arguing at the same time about how mad they were and they were all expressing their inner feelings that they had kept bottled up inside of them when suddenly they heard a voice yelling from the side of them.  They all turned around to see Sessho-Maru running along side the river while waving his arms and yelling 'SESSHO!!!'

"I'll save you, buddies!!  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru as he pulled out a lasso and lassoed the car.  He pulled it into shore since he has super human strength and then everyone got out and didn't thank him.  "You know, I sense a lot of negative energy among this group.  Is there anything I can do to patch up the holes of friendship?  Sessho."

Then Sessho-Maru took out a little teleporter thingy and teleported them all to his secret underground laboratory.  Everyone (with the exception of himself) was hooked up to a chair.

"What the hell?!" Inu-Yasha demanded.  

Sessho-Maru pulled out a little remote control with many buttons on it.  He looked around until he saw a button with a big letter 'I' on it and pressed it.

"ARGH!!" Inu-Yasha yelled as a surge of electricity ran through his entire body and left him all black and charred.

"As you can see, I have attached you all to electrical chairs.  Sessho." Explained Sessho-Maru.  "If someone in your group does something that you don't like, simply tell them and then give them the shock of their life by using the buttons in front of you so that it drills into their heads and they'll never do it again.  Sessho."

"What if we refuse?" asked Inu-Yasha as he went to stand up.  He was abruptly shocked right then and there!  "ARGH!!"

"THAT happens if you refuse.  Sessho." Answered Sessho-Maru.  "Now where should we begin?  Alphabetical order?  Sessho."

Sessho-Maru waited in silence.  No one wanted to say anything in fear of being shocked.

"Since none of you really have last names, you can go in alphabetical order by your FIRST names.  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru.  "That would mean you, baby brother.  And you know the consequences if you don't participate.  Sessho."

"Where should I begin…?" asked Inu-Yasha as he went into deep thought and place all four of his fingers on the labeled buttons in front of him.

"Actually, I think it would be wise to skip you.  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru.  "We don't want any of your teammates dying because of too much electricity in their frail human bodies.  Sessho."

"WHAT?!" Inu-Yasha yelled but Sessho-Maru shocked him.

"Now, out of your helpfully silent friends, I believe that next in the alphabet would be 'M'.  Sessho."

"Hm…" said Miroku.  "As a monk, I wish to refrain from doing harm to my teammates."

Everyone else sighed with relief.

"However, I am feeling rather tense and I know for a FACT that I do more than 4% of the work." Miroku continued.

"I SAID THAT YOU DID 5% OF THE WORK!!" Inu-Yasha yelled.  "AND THAT I DID THE OTHER 95%!!"

"So I shall participate in your little experiment Sessho-Maru." Said Miroku as he looked down at the buttons in front of him.  "Which one's Sango and which one's Shippo?"

"What?  Sessho." asked Sessho-Maru. 

"Well…" said Miroku.  "They are both labeled with the letter S so I don't know which one is which and if I want to shock Shippo, I may accidentally shock Sango or vice versa."

"Let's see…Sessho." said Sessho-Maru as he bent over to Miroku's button pad thingy and pressed both 'S' buttons separately.  Shippo and Sango both HOLL-ered as they were shocked.  "The one on the left is Sango and the one on the right is Shippo.  Sessho."

"Very well." Said Miroku.  "I have many reasons to shock Lady Kagome but she took me on this trip so I'm a bit hesitant."

"Don't be afraid.  Sessho."

"But I wish not to thank her by harming her." Said Miroku.  "Though she has been awfully difficult to be around lately, I can not forget what she is doing for me."

"Thank you Miroku!" said Kagome with a smile.  "I was just kidding when I said you only did 4% of the work.  I think it's more like…20%!"

"That was an unnecessary suck-up." Said Miroku as he pressed the button with a 'K' on it but didn't lift his finger up.  "And while I'm at it, this is for Sugar Beats, this is for all of your rude comments earlier, this is for not letting me drive and this is for ASSUMING that I'm sexually harassing a girl just because I know her!"

"That's enough.  Sessho." asked Sessho-Maru as he leaned over to Miroku and slapped his hand off the button.

LATER!!!

"There, now is everyone feeling better?  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru as he made he way over to the control panel that turned off all the wires and electricity and stuff from the chairs.  Everyone was all singed and black and crispy and their hair was standing on ends.

"How did that solve ANYTHING?!" yelled Inu-Yasha as he started thrashing about but was unable to smite Sessho-Maru because he was still hooked up to the electric chair.  "Now I'm not only feeling more tense then I USUAL feel, but I'm also singed to a crisp!!"

"I WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP!!  Sessho." Cried Sessho-Maru as he burst into tears and ran out of the room as fast as he could.

"Look what you did!!" yelled Kagome as she shocked Inu-Yasha.

"Don't do that!" Inu-Yasha yelled as he shocked her back.

"Now we're stuck here for even longer!" whined Shippo.  Everyone zapped him for being annoying.

"You guys, I think that instead of zapping each other, we should think of an idea to get us out of here." Said Sango.  Everyone zapped her for being too constructive.

Everyone decided that since they always did stuff together that they should PONDER together!  So that's what they did.  After a long, hard seven minutes of thinking, Shippo said AHA!!  And realized that since his body is so miniscule then he could easily slip out of his restraints!!  HAW HAW HAW!!

So he did.

"YAY SHIPPO!!!" everyone cheered except people who wouldn't cheer that.

"Now get us out of here." Instructed Miroku.

"First you all have to admit that I do stuff to help." Shippo said.  "I mean, I'm doing stuff NOW!!"

"Okay, fine, you help now get us out of here!" said Kagome.

"That didn't sound very sincere!" said Shippo.

"Shippo, don't make me smite you!!!" yelled Inu-Yasha.

"Don't talk to me that way!!!" yelled Shippo as he started to cry and then pressed the button with an 'I' on it and fried Inu-Yasha until he decided that he was sufficiently harmed and punished.

"Shippo, we're sorry that we said that you didn't do anything." Sango tried since she is reasonable.

"I'll let SANGO out!" said Shippo as she released Sango but left everyone else where they were.  "Now you ALL have to apologize before I let you out!!"  But then Sango stomped on Shippo and flattened him and then let everyone go free since she didn't feel like waiting for anyone else to apologize since, after all, Shippo doesn't REALLY do anything!!  HAW HAW HAW!!

Then they all went out to the car where they saw Sessho-Maru contently shining it while blowing on it and whistling and being oh-so content.

"What are you doing?!?!" yelled Inu-Yasha.

"Shine your car for a quarter, gov'na?  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru in one of those FAKE accents that they use to make kids…um…sound fake.

"NO!!!" bellowed everyone as they punted up.  Then they all got into the car while grumbling at each other since they were all in really bad moods and were still all charred.

Then they crossed over to Alabama and it was almost as if they went through a Hsawaknow because now they were all clean and happy instead of being charred and angry!!  HURRAH!!!


	25. A Diner In Alabama!! ...Or not...

"Now, we're going to be going into a public place so I INSIST that you three masculine figures change into some normal clothes." Kagome said.

"But these ARE normal!!" said Miroku.

"No they aren't!!" Kagome yelled as she tossed them each an outfit to wear.  Sango, well, she hadn't really changed her clothes in a while so Kagome decided to toss HER an outfit as well.  And then so she wouldn't feel left out, Kagome tossed HERSELF an outfit and they ALL got changed!  There were only a few accidents along the way considering the fact that Kagome was supposed to be driving.  Only after a few people died did Kagome tell herself to pull over to the break down lane and they ALLLLLL changed!!  Only a FEW guys honked their horns at them but Miroku purged them since they were annoying him.

"I'm hungry!" whined Shippo.  "We've been traveling for so long and we haven't stopped to eat for a REALLY long time!"

"He has a point." Said Sango.

"Well…" said Kagome.  Then she noticed that she was in a parking lot to some southern diner in Alabama.  "Let's go in there."

So they all got out of the car and walked into the diner.

"Hiya hon.  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru as he loudly chewed on a piece of gum.  "What'll you be havin'?  Sessho." 

"I'm not THAT hungry." Said Miroku as he turned around and walked back out the door.

"Me neither." Said Shippo as he followed Miroku.  Everyone else figured that they had had enough of Sessho-Maru to last a lifetime and they didn't want to have to deal with him ANYMORE!!  So they all left and climbed back into the hideous green convertible that they are doomed to ride.

"Now entering Florida!" said a little sign on the side of the road.


	26. Showdown With Kouga in Florida!

"Now I know why people in your time don't wear long, black and purple robes." Said Miroku as he turned the air conditioner on higher.  "It's TWICE as hot here!"

"Don't turn the air conditioner on!" Kagome insisted as she turned it off.  "It pollutes!"

"But it's so HOT!" Inu-Yasha complained as he breathed and panted.  "At least roll the windows down or let us put the top down."

"NO!" Kagome yelled.  "People will think we can't afford air conditioning!  I don't want people thinking poorly of us!"

"I don't care!" said Shippo.  

"Seriously Kagome…" said Sango.  "Do you think people are actually thinking that we can't afford air conditioning just cause we have our windows down?"

"Fine." Said Kagome as she motioned to all of them that they could roll their windows down.

"HURRAH!!" everyone cheered.  Shippo bounced out of the car and on the roof.  Inu-Yasha stuck his head out the window like a dog and let the breeze hit his face.  (If you want, you can be creative and imagine him sticking his tongue out but if you don't want him to be doing that, he isn't.  It's all up to you!)

Kagome stopped at a red light and a few people passed the car.

"Look Ma!" said some random kid.  "Those people have their windows down!  They must not be able to afford air conditioning!"

"Don't look Junior!" said Ma as she blocked Junior's eyes and hurried him along.  

"So where are we going now Lady Kagome?" asked Miroku.

"Why…" said Kagome.  "WE'RE GOING HERE!!"

Then she pulled into a huge parking lot.

"What is this place?" asked Sango as she looked around.

"It's a beach." Said Kagome.  "You guys said you were hot.  What better way to cool off than go to the beach!"

Then she tossed them all their swimsuits and led them to the changing rooms where they changed.  (They did it willingly cause it's less clothing to have to wear when you're hot.)

Everyone walked onto the beach and were looking for an empty space to put all their stuff when suddenly…

"HEADS UP!!" came a voice.

"What?" asked Inu-Yasha obliviously as he turned toward the direction of the voice when suddenly, he was a hit with a flying volleyball and knocked to the ground.  "WHO THREW THAT AT ME?!"

"I told you to get out of the way!" said the person who yelled heads up.  "You're supposed to move, not look at me!"

"We're sorry." Said Kagome as she turned to the guy.  "He's…new…"

Then she saw who it was.

"KAGOME!!" yelled Kouga as she hugged Kagome.  "What are you doing hanging out with these people when you could be with me!  You are my woman, after all and I plan on spending the rest of my life with you!"

"What are YOU doing here?!" Inu-Yasha demanded.

"Playing volleyball!" Kouga said back with a scoff.  "How about you?  What reason do you have being here dogface?"

"No!" Inu-Yasha yelled.  "What are you doing in Kagome's time?!"

"Playing volleyball." Kouga repeated.  "I thought I already told you that."

"Well, I suggest you leave." Said Inu-Yasha.  "Because if I accidentally kill you, I don't want to be held responsible."

"YOU accidentally kill ME?!" Kouga yelled.  "I can't even see myself getting hurt with you around!"

"Inu-Yasha…" said Kagome.

"WHY DO YOU ALWAYS TAKE HIS SIDE?!" Inu-Yasha demanded.

"Sit."

And then with a quack and a slam, Inu-Yasha was on the ground.

"Do you guys wanna play volleyball with us?!" said Kouga eagerly.  "The team we were playing with just randomly got up and left in the middle of the game CLAIMING that we were cheating!!"

"You guys wanna play?!" said Kagome to everyone else.

"YAY!!  SURE!!!" said everyone as they followed Kouga over to a volleyball net where Mohawk Minion and Other Minion were waving goodbye to Sessho-Maru, Jaken and Rin who were walking away looking all offended while they were ALL saying 'Sessho!!'

"You found more people to play?!" said Mohawk Minion as Kouga ran over and the three of them did a secretive handshake.

"Yeah but Kagome's on MY team!" Kouga declared.  "Because you guys have five and we only have three."

"But we don't know how to play and no doubt you three are practically professionals." Miroku pointed out.

"Fine!" said Inu-Yasha.  "Take Kagome!  Do you really think I CARE?!"

"OUR SERVE!!!" declared Kouga as Inu-Yasha, Sango, Miroku and Shippo went over to the other side of the net.  He hit it up over the net.  All four of the people on the other side dived on top of it at the exact same time and smooshed Shippo who was on the bottom of course.  All four of them…missed the ball.

"Point for us!!" said Other Minion.

Kouga ran over at the speed of light and picked up the ball.  "One serving zero!!" he announced as he hit the ball over again.

"I got it!" said Inu-Yasha as he leapt up into the air and hit the ball so hard that it popped, deflated and fell to the ground in a big heap.

"Aww…that was my favorite volleyball." Said Kouga sadly as he reached into a bag that was on the sidelines of the court and pulled out another one.  "But we have more so not to worry!!  Now, since that fell on your side of the court, it's another point for us!  Two serving zero!"  He was just about to hit the ball when Kagome stopped him.

"Kouga, do you think that maybe I could serve?" she asked as her eyes began to sparkle and flower petals floated behind her.  Kouga gasped and handed her the volleyball.

"Of course you may!" he said.

"YEE-HAW!!!" said Kagome as she threw the ball up into the air and went to hit it but completely missed so it fell down at hit the court.

"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!" laughed everyone on the other team.

"Fault one!" said Mohawk Minion.

"You can do it Kagome!" said Kouga.

"Sorry about that!" said Kagome as she threw the ball up into the air again and this time hit it but it fell short and went under the net.

"Does that mean it's OUR turn to serve?!" said Miroku as the ball rolled over to him and he picked it up.

"Yeah, let's see what you can do!" Kouga taunted.

"All right!" said Miroku as he hit the ball underneath and gently lofted it over the net.

"I GOT IT!!!" yelled Kouga all-too-enthusiastically as he jumped up into the air and spiked it so hard that it drove into the ground and flung sand all over the place.  He laughed manically at their expense in his insane, crazy voice that is so odd and makes us smile.

"Fault one!" Miroku announced as he ran over to the ball and dug it out of the ground.

"No." said Kouga.  "It's OUR serve now."

"I thought we got TWO serves each." Said Miroku.  "You got two serves, Lady Kagome got two so does that mean…"

"NO!!" Kouga yelled.  "GIVE ME THE BALL!!"

"I see what you're doing…" said Miroku as he walked back over to the serving area.  "One serving two!"

"NO!!" Kouga HOLL-ered.  "YOU HAVE NO POINTS AND IT'S OUR SERVE!!"

"Miroku!" yelled Kagome.  "Listen to Kouga, he's right!"

"Which happens on RARE occasions." said Inu-Yasha.

"Are you sure Lady Kagome?" Miroku asked. 

"I'm positive." Said Kagome.

"Very well." Miroku said as he tossed the ball to Mohawk Minion.  "I was not informed of the rules of the game so my game playing may be…"

"TWO SERVING ZERO!!" Kouga yelled as he served it over the net.

"I got it!" Sango said as she hit the ball straight up into the air.  "Oops."

"I GOT IT THIS TIME!!" Inu-Yasha called out as he jumped all the way up to the ball and spiked it to the ground directly toward Other Minion.

"GET IT, OTHER MINION!!" Kouga yelled.  "Don't let them score!!"

"I GOT IT!!" Other Minion yelled.  Unfortunately, when you look up, the sun kinda looks like the ball so he got confused and started seeing spots and the ball dropped to the ground next to him.

"YOU FOOL!!!" Kouga yelled.  "Now it's THEIR serve again!  If you let them score, so help me!!"

"Forgive me Kouga!" pleaded Other Minion.  "It won't happen again."

"It better not."

"Our serve?" asked Miroku as he picked up the volleyball.  All the wolfish people and Kagome nodded.  "OH YAY!!"

"Don't forget to rotate." Kouga reminded them.  Then he turned to Kagome.  "Do your friends know ANYTHING?!"

Kagome giggled.  "Not about anything HERE."

"By the way Kagome, do you like my bathing suit?" Kouga asked as he modeled his bathing suit.  It was bright red and had drawstrings.

"It's…very nice." Said Kagome.

"This isn't very fun." Whined Shippo as he commenced in building a sand castle right in the middle of the court.

"So…zero…serving two." Said Miroku as he held the ball up with his right hand and was about to hit it when he switched the ball to his left hand.  "Hm… which hand should I hit it with?" 

"It doesn't matter!" Kouga yelled.  "JUST SERVE THE BALL!!"

"Well, last time, I hit it with my RIGHT hand but it was quite awkward and it didn't fly very hard…" said Miroku as he moved the ball back and forth.

"It didn't fly very hard because you are a weak human being!!" laughed Kouga as he started flexing.

"Well you demons sure are rude and arrogant." Said Miroku.

"DON'T GENERALIZE!!!" yelled Shippo.

"Just serve it!!" yelled Kouga.  "I'm getting horribly impatient and when I become horribly impatient, I become very obnoxious to be around!!"

"You're always obnoxious to be around!" Inu-Yasha said.

"Come over here and say that you worthless half-demon!!" said Kouga as he started stomping over to the net.  Inu-Yasha stomped over to the net and the two of them started throwing insults at each other.

"People in your world certainly are prejudice." Said Kagome, shaking her head.

"I'm not." Said Sango.

"What are you talking about?!" yelled Kagome.  "You exterminate demons for a LIVING!!"

"That doesn't mean I'm prejudice!" Sango pointed out.  "It just means that I want to keep the humans safe."

"Kouga's right though." Said Mohawk Minion.  "Unless you're a demon, or you, Kagome, you wouldn't be missed if you were wiped off the face of the earth."  Then the two minions chuckled warmly.

"Okay, let's stop arguing and…" started Kagome but she realized that everyone was just ignoring her.  She cleared her throat a few times but when no one responded or even reacted or acknowledged the fact that she was alive, she walked over to the quarrel between Kouga and Inu-Yasha and said…"SIT!!"

"Why do you do that?!" yelled Inu-Yasha as he spat sand out of his mouth.

"It's the only way I can get everyone to listen to me!" Kagome replied even though that wasn't really true.  "I think we should just stop arguing and continue playing volleyball like civilized human beings."

Everyone paused.

"The only humans here are you, Sango and Miroku." Said Other Minion.

"SILENCE!!!" yelled Kagome.

"Let's just play!" said Miroku as he grabbed the ball and served it.

"Ah HA!!!" laughed Kouga as he hit the ball over like a guy who likes to play volleyball.

"MY BALL!!" HOLL-ered Shippo as he turned into a giant pink ball with a face and the volleyball bounced off of him and made its way over to the other side again, sailing way above everyone but would have surely landed inside the thing, claiming a point of the Inu-Yasha side!!

"Mohawk Minion!!" yelled Kouga as he ran over to Mohawk Minion.  Mohawk Minion put his hands down just as Kouga jumped onto them.  Mohawk Minion hoisted Kouga into the air and tossed him up just as the ball came over and Kouga hit it!!  Wow, they ARE professionals!!

"Someone do something impressive with me!" yelled Inu-Yasha as he jumped up and scissor kicked it high into the air and then Sango leapt up and spiked it over on the other side.

Other Minion dove down and hit it into the air and Kouga hit it over since he is a ham and must be involved in every play.

The ball made its way over to Miroku and he gently tapped it forward but it was JUST hard enough to make it over the net.

"It's my turn now!" Kagome exclaimed as she dove forward but only crashed into the net and knocked it over.  The ball hit her on top of the head and then landed on the ground.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" yelled Kouga.  "THEY GOT A POINT!!!"

"WAH HA HA HA HA HA!!" Inu-Yasha laughed while pointing at Kouga.

"Don't let it happen again!" Kouga yelled at his minions.

"We're sorry Kouga!" the minions pleaded pathetically.  

"I think it's time to use plan B." said Kouga to himself.  "Now who to go after?  Not the woman…that would just be wrong.  It would be hard to get dogface down with one quick strike so maybe I should avoid him.  Going after the kid would be pointless so THE MONK IT IS!!"

Of course, Kouga not one for inner monologue so Inu-Yasha, with his SUPER HEARING, heard every word of this.  (If anyone else were listening, they would have been able to hear more than 'the monk it is' because he kind of yelled that at the top of his lungs and you don't NEED super hearing to hear that.)

"Trying to cheat?" Inu-Yasha asked in the feh tone.

"Me?  CHEAT?!  NEVER!!" Kouga defended.

The ball was tossed back to Miroku.

"Try and serve it like LAST time." Said Shippo to Miroku.

"That's my goal." Said Miroku as he tossed the ball up and served it.

"WE SHALL NEVER BE DEFEATED!!" Kouga yelled as he climbed on top of Mohawk Minion and spiked the ball down toward Sango. 

Kouga then climbed down from his minion and made his way over to the other side of the court and STRAIGHT TOWARD MIROKU!!  ARGH!!

Inu-Yasha got some good air off of Shippo's head and did some sort of nifty Spiderman movement, jumped in front of Miroku and kicked Kouga in the face.  Then, while still in the air, he stretched his body out and hit the ball over the net before Sango could hit it.

"I could have gotten that." Said Sango in an annoyed tone.

"No you couldn't have." Said Inu-Yasha.  "You should be THANKING me."

Kouga fell on the ground with a thump.

Kagome hit the ball over the net and it just so conveniently landed RIGHT ON KOUGA'S FACE!!  HAW HAW HAW!!  CHEATERS NEVER PROSPER!!

"Get back to your side!" Inu-Yasha yelled as he kicked Kouga a few times.

Kouga stood up, scoffed and then spit all the sand out of his mouth.  Then he walked back over to his side and to Kagome.

"Kagome, this game is getting a little rough." Said Kouga.  "I don't know if I want you playing anymore."

"I'll be fine." Said Kagome.  "I've spent the last…WHO KNOWS HOW LONG with these four.  Nothing they could do now could POSSIBLY hurt me."

"But you look tense." Said Kouga as he caressed Kagome's head.  "Perhaps you should rest."

Kagome pushed Kouga away.  "Yes." She said.  "I AM feeling a little tense."

Then a light bulb formed above her head.  She ran off and left everyone standing there obliviously for a second or two.

Kagome returned a second later with a CD player.

"We need a little bit of music to lighten the mood!" Kagome announced as she pressed play.  Suddenly, the sound of some HORRIBLE remake of a song started playing.  It was sung by a group of kids so it sounded even worse.

"NOT SUGAR BEATS!!" yelled Miroku as he dramatically dropped to the ground.

"The mood will be lightened now!" Kagome said with horseshoe eyes.  "EVERYBODY loves Sugar Beats!"

"WHAT IS THAT HORRIBLE RACKET COMING FROM THAT MAGIC NOISE EMITTING BOX OF YOURS, KAGOME?!" Kouga yelled as he covered his ears.  He was yelling a lot louder than he needed to as if she was blasting the Sugar Beats loud at a dance or something.

"It's my favorite." Said Kagome as a tear started to form in her eye.

Kouga looked over at her and noticed that she was sad so he ran over at the speed of Kouga and grabbed her hands.  "I love it!!" he said through clenched teeth that Kagome obviously didn't notice since she beamed.

"Oh geez." Said Inu-Yasha since he doesn't really have an opinion on the Sugar Beats and could really care less and can't figure out why everyone makes such a big deal about it.  Then he realized at that very moment that the Sugar Beats had suddenly completely stopped very abruptly.  He looked over to see Miroku whistling innocently while stringing the rosary back around his wrist.  Then Miroku noticed that Inu-Yasha was watching him.

"What?!" he demanded, looking around.

"Hey Kouga, can we get back to the game?" asked Mohawk Minion.

"SURE!!" said Kouga.

"What about the Sugar Beats…" started Kagome.

"OUR SERVE!!!" Kouga declared before Kagome could continue and look for the Sugar Beats.  "After all, it landed in your half."  He grabbed the ball and stood in the server's place or whatever.  "Two serving one!" he said as he served the ball to the other side.

At that exact moment, Kouga decided to test inner monologue.  _"Let's see…" _he thought.  _"Dogface seems very weary about my evil plots of cheating so I have to take him out first.  But the problem is, he's part demon so one blow won't eliminate him as one of my problems!  If I were to just…"_

"Kouga!!" yelled Kagome.

Kouga turned around and got hit in the face with the volleyball again.  The ball dropped to the ground.  CHEATERS NEVER PROSPER AGAIN!!

"I was so wrapped up in my evil plots that I didn't even notice what was going on!!" he tried to explain.

"Don't worry Kouga, we still love you!!" said Other Minion as he and Mohawk Minion bombarded Kouga with presents and words of reassurance and other things like that.

"Feh!" said Kouga, feeling confident again.  "You may have the serve but you will gain no point!!"

"Yeah right!" Inu-Yasha argued.  "With our star server, we are sure to win!!"

"Why thank you, Inu-Yasha." Said Miroku, looking flattered.

"Not YOU!!" yelled Inu-Yasha.  "ME of course!!"  And with that, he tossed the ball up into the air and hit it over the net.  It went sailing about a thousand miles all the way to the water where it would float around for all eternity until finally washing on shore of some island and some man who has been living alone will befriend him and name it Wilson.

"Aw man." Said Kouga as he shielded his eyes from the sun and watched the volleyball sail.  "Not another one.  I lose more good volleyballs that way."  He trudged over to the bag and picked up a new volleyball.  "Fault one!" he said as he rolled it under the net.

Miroku picked it up.  "I think _I _shall serve!" he said.

"What?!" yelled Kouga.  "You can't do that!!  The server, which is Dogface, must COMPLETE his serving turn!!"

"Oh that's okay, we can let the rules slide!" said Miroku.

"No way!!" yelled Kouga.  "That's utter and complete cheating!!"  Then he paused and got a devious look on his face.  "Time out!!  I need to consult with my teammates!!"  Then he called everyone into a huddle.

"What do you wish of us?!" asked Mohawk Minion.

"You two are useless in my plan!" Kouga said harshly and loudly as the two minions cowered in fear.  Then he turned to Kagome and lowered his voice to a whisper which is pretty much a new accomplishment for him.  "Now listen, I'll hit the ball over to Inu-Yasha every time and every time I hit it over to him, you say your magic word that makes him slam to the ground and that'll be another point for us!  We'll win in no time!!"

Kagome gave him a questioning look.

"But that's…CHEATING!!" Kagome said as if she were appalled.

"Yeah?" Kouga asked.  "So?  THEY'RE the ones who are cheating!  Letting the monk serve when it is CLEARLY dogface's turn!"

"Well, you were the one on THEIR side of the court." Said Kagome.

"I was…uh…FIXING MY BATHING SUIT!!" Kouga said.

"Ah…" said Kagome sarcastically.  "That makes sense."

"So do you get the plan?" Kouga asked.

"Yeah…" said Kagome.  "But I think we should play with no more cheating."

"Come on!" Kouga whined.  "Haven't they been pestering you non-stop this whole trip?!  Look at them!  They formed a team…WITHOUT YOU!!"

"You were the one who pulled me over onto your team." Said Kagome.

"Because you are my woman." Said Kouga.  "And also because I didn't want your feelings to be hurt because you weren't on their team."

"TODAY!!" Inu-Yasha yelled from on the other side of the court.

"FINE!!" Kouga yelled.

"I don't see why you always have to be flirting with Kouga anyway, Kagome." Said Inu-Yasha.

"I WASN'T flirting!" Kagome yelled.

"Not again." Said Sango as she slapped her forehead.

"This ALWAYS happens when Kouga's here." Said Shippo.

"SERVING!!" Miroku yelled as he hit the ball over the net.

"I got it!" said Kouga as he hit it over the net to Inu-Yasha.  Then he turned to Kagome with a devious smile and wink.

"Next time." Kagome mouthed to Kouga.  Kouga nodded and did the Mr. Burns style 'excellent'.

"SHIPPO!!" Inu-Yasha yelled as the ball sailed over his head in slow motion.  "Get the ball!"

Shippo leapt forward and jumped on top of Inu-Yasha's head with his tongue hanging out.  He leapt up and spiked the ball down on the other side.  Then he grabbed onto the net like it was a basketball hoop and hung on it for a second while making faces as if a camera was there.

"Ready Kagome?" asked Kouga.  Kagome nodded hesitantly as Kouga bopped the ball over the net to Inu-Yasha.  Inu-Yasha looked ALL too ready to hit the ball when SUDDENLY!!!

"Sit!" Kagome yelled.  

"QUACK!!" Inu-Yasha yelled as he slammed to the ground.  Then the ball came down, bounced off Inu-Yasha's head and hit the ground.

"Now if THAT wasn't cheating, I don't know what is." Said Sango.

"IT'S NOT FAIR!!" Shippo cried.

"OUR SERVE!!" Kouga cheered as he did a little victory dance.  "OUR TEAM IS THE BEST!!"

"DAMN IT!!" Inu-Yasha yelled.  (You know, 'CHIKUSHOU!!')  "Why did you do THAT Kagome?!"

"Well…" started Kagome but she didn't really have a good reason.

"I'M going to call MY team into a huddle then!" said Inu-Yasha as the whole team ran over to him.  "All right, Kouga's playing REALLY dirty so we have to do the same thing!"  And with that, the camera panned out so you couldn't hear their evil schemes.

"They're just stalling!" Kouga declared randomly.

"No way, we're ready to go!!" Inu-Yasha said as they all clapped their hands together and said 'BREAK!!'  "SERVE IT YOU WIMPY WOLF!!!"

"YOU BETTER BE READY DOGFACE!!" Kouga yelled back as he served the ball over to him.

"Sit!" Kagome said before Inu-Yasha could hit it.  But, before the ball hit the ground, it suddenly started hovering and then flying in the opposite direction towards Miroku as he stood there with his accursed hand out.  As soon as the ball came close to him, he closed up the void within him and then hit the ball over the net to the other side.  Everyone was just kind of standing there in a stupefied state with their jaws on the ground like cash registers so the ball bounced a few times and rolled RIGHT over to Kouga's feet.

"Wait…" he said slowly.

"Our serve!!" Miroku said.

"Aawwwwwwwllll…RIGHT!!" said the whole Inu-Yasha team as they jumped up into the air and slapped each other five in a big Power Ranger like group.

"We'll get those points back!" Inu-Yasha said as he tossed the ball over to Miroku, the designated server.

"One serving three!" he said as he threw it up and then hit it.  Mohawk Minion smiled smugly and leapt up to hit it but Miroku opened up the air void within him, pulling the volleyball back over to their own side.  Sango eagerly slammed the ball to the ground while yelling a battle cry and the ball embedded itself in the sand.  Mohawk Minion…well, he thought he hit the ball and got all discombobulated and plummeted to the ground.

"STOP CHEATING!!!" commanded Kouga as he pointed dramatically at them.

"NO!!" Inu-Yasha yelled back.

"Fine then!!" Kouga said.  "Then we will get dirtier and dirtier!!"

"And so will we!"

"I'd like to see you try!"

"Same with you!!"

By this time, Inu-Yasha and Kouga were both in each other's faces with only the net between them while growling like wolves and dogs would.  HEE HEE HEE HEE!!

Then abruptly, they both ran back over to their groups while plotting more ways to cheat.

Miroku served the ball, it went over.  Kouga hit it.  Inu-Yasha leapt up and was about to do some dramatic spike when…

"SIT!!"

And then fell down ON TOP of the ball and landed on it.

"Let's rule that word out of our cheating game!!" Inu-Yasha yelled as he slammed his fist down on the ground.

"It's simple, Inu-Yasha, just don't go for the ball." Said Shippo.

"But then what's the point of me being here?!" yelled Inu-Yasha.

"We'll just have to come up with a plan to get around that." Said Sango.

"I don't think we can." Said Miroku with a sigh.

"But we CAN think of OTHER things to do!" said Inu-Yasha as he whispered his evil schemes but we can't hear them.  Sniff.

"Our serve!" said Kouga as he served the ball over the net.  Inu-Yasha jumped up to spike the ball and Kagome was just about to yell the word that subdues him so when suddenly, little tiny blue flames flew in front of her.

Inu-Yasha spiked the ball down and it hit the ground so hard, it created a crater.  Then he ran over and high-fived Shippo for his little 'Fox Fire' distraction.

"OUR SERVE!!" Miroku cheered as hit the ball over the net.

"Wait a second…" said Kouga as the ball just kinda…FELL next to him.

"WE GOT A POINT!!" cheered the Inu-Yasha team.

"I WASN'T READY!!" Kouga whined.

"Why didn't you hit the ball?" asked Mohawk minion.

"Because they didn't serve correctly." Said Kouga.  "They're supposed to say the score first.  I was all confused and thrown off.  That point doesn't count!"

"WHAT?!" Inu-Yasha demanded.  "OF COURSE IT COUNTS!!"

"NEVER!!" Kouga yelled.

"Kouga…" said Kagome as she folded her hands.  "They are behind.  I don't think one point will hurt."

"Kagome." Said Kouga.  "I know we can easily win this so I will be merciful and allow them to keep their ill-gotten point!"

"How gracious of him." Said Miroku sarcastically.

"BUT DON'T LET THEM GET ANOTHER POINT!!" Kouga yelled.

"YES SIR!!" said both of the minions as they saluted Kouga.

"I'm getting REALLY sick of this game." Said Sango.  "I'm all for leaving and going to the NEXT state."

"NO!!" Inu-Yasha yelled.  "We MUST beat this wimpy wolf!  There is no way I will back down from him!!"

"Whatever." Said Sango.

"Two serving three!" said Miroku as he served the ball.

Suddenly, about forty of Kouga's minions came and stacked up on top of each other, forming a wall so the ball just fell back on the Inu-Yasha team's side.

"OUR SERVE!!" Kouga announced.

"What about faults?" Miroku asked.

"I've decided that you don't get one." Said Kouga as he played around with the ball.  "Since I overlooked your mess-up and practically gave you a free point, I think it's only fair."

Inu-Yasha mumbled a few incoherent swear words under his breath and was just about to smite Kouga when Kagome uttered the magic word and his mumbles turned to quacks. 

"Three serving…" started Kouga.

"WAIT!!!" yelled Shippo.  "Doesn't somebody ELSE have to serve now?!"

"No!!" yelled Kouga.  "Your monk is the only one who ever serves!!"

"Yeah Shippo, shut up!" said someone.

"Fine!!" said Shippo, crossing his eyes.

"Four serving two!" Kouga declared as he served it over.  Inu-Yasha caught the ball and popped it.

"You did NOT have four points!!" he yelled as he tossed the deflated ball at Kouga's feet.  "You only had THREE!!"

"STOP POPPING MY VOLLEYBALLS!!!" HOLL-ered Kouga as he grabbed another ball from his bag.  "And we DO have four points!!!"

"Kouga…please…just admit that we only have three…" said Kagome as she tried to calm down Kouga's extreme adrenalin rush.  Kouga sighed and said FINE.

"THREE serving two!" he said as he served it.

Shippo jumped up into the air as he formed a thousand copies of himself and they formed a wall in front of the net so the ball fell back onto their side.

"HEY!!" yelled Kouga, throwing a temper tantrum.  "THAT'S CHEATING!!!"

"You did the very same thing!!" yelled all the Shippos.  Then he became only one Shippo again.

"But that was DIFFERENT!!!" Kouga explained.  "They did that on their own free will!!  _I _influenced it in no such way!!"

"You cheat AND lie!!" Inu-Yasha said as he started growling and frothing.

"I don't have to listen to YOU!" said Kouga as he snapped his fingers and Mohawk Minion retrieved the ball and handed it to Kouga.  "So I got one fault?  Do I look like I care?  Do I?  Just look at me!  Do I look at all like it bothers me in the least bit that I got a fault?!"

"We didn't get a fault so neither do you!" Sango said, starting to get into the game.

"HA!!" laughed Kouga.  "I am by far the most superior demon here!!  It's MY volleyball!!  It's MY net!!  And as far as you're concerned, it's MY beach so what I say goes and I say that was fault one and now I'm serving again!!  Three serving two!!"

"OH YEAH?!" yelled Inu-Yasha as he picked up a piece of driftwood and smacked the volleyball like a baseball and then it went off into a oblivion where it surely hit some random bystander who died.

"Inu-Yasha…let's get this straight…" said Miroku.  "The object of the game is not to hit the volleyball as far as you possibly can.  That just gives a point to the opposite side."

"I know that." Said Inu-Yasha.  "Just watch though."

"Now I have to get ANOTHER ball!" complained Kouga as he walked over towards the bag.  Suddenly, he tripped over that SAME piece of drift wood and fell flat on his face.  Mohawk Minion and Other Minion gasped dramatically and darted over to his side while helping him up as Inu-Yasha laughed diabolically at his expense.

"What did that prove?!" yelled Kagome.

"NOTHING!!" laughed Inu-Yasha.  "I just wanted to see that wimpy wolf fall face first in the sand!!"

"SIT!!" yelled Kagome.  And with that, Inu-Yasha fell face first in the sand as well with a quack.  "Well, how do you like that?!  I just wanted to see YOU fall face first in the sand!"

"You're favoring that wolf!!" yelled Inu-Yasha as he sprang up off the sand.

"I AM NOT!!"

"YOU ARE!!  YOU'RE TAKING HIS SIDE!!"

"NO I'M NOT!!"

"YES YOU ARE!!"

"SIT!!!"

"QUACK!!"  And he was face first in the sand again.

"I decree that Lady Kagome should not be permitted to say that word." Miroku said suddenly as Kouga rejoined the game.  "I find it unfair that she reins supreme advantage over one of our players."

"Fine then you can't use that freak air void of yours!" Kouga bargained.  "If you open it or if Kagome says 'sit' then you're out of the game from now on!"

Miroku sighed.  "Fair is fair." He said.

"Four serving two!" Kouga said as he hit the ball over the net.

"Finally I get to do something!" said Inu-Yasha as he hit the ball back to the other side.

"I got it!" said Mohawk Minion as he hit it like a professional volleyball player.  But alas, even professional volleyball players have their off days and the ball poomped off his arms and dribbled under the net.  Mohawk Minion looked over at Kouga whose eye was twitching madly.  "I didn't mean it!!" he yelled as he covered his face.

"Now we get to serve!" said Shippo happily.

Miroku picked up the ball and served it over.  Other Minion hit it back and then Sango hit it back over.  Kouga leapt up to do some kind of fancy-rific hit back that would have SURELY given his team the serve again when Miroku suddenly whipped out little slips of paper and threw them at Kouga.  The pieces of paper hit him on various parts of his body, one being on his face of course, and started emitting electricity and then he fell to the ground while yelling out in pain.  Everyone paused as the ball hit the ground soon after Kouga did.  Then Kagome looked over at Miroku who was gaining some high fives from his team.

"I'll help you, Kouga!" said Kagome when she noticed that Mohawk Minion and Other Minion refused to go near the demon wards.  She took of all the demon wards and Kouga immediately sprung up.

"WE DON'T ALLOW CHEATING THAT CAUSES PAIN!!!" he yelled.

"What are you talking about?!" yelled Inu-Yasha.  "You were coming over to our side and attacking us!!"

"That's different!" Kouga said defensively.  "Demon wards aren't allowed!!"

"I don't have anymore anyway…" Miroku said as if that would make Kouga very sad.

"If that's the way you wanna play it then you better be prepared!!" Kouga announced as he gestured for his minions to come over and make a huddle with him.

"Be prepared!!  Yeah, I'll be prepared!" said Mohawk Minion with a laugh but then he paused and looked confused.  "Prepared for what?"

"The death of the monk!!" Kouga replied dramatically.

"Why, is he sick?" asked Other Minion.

"No you fool, we're going to kill him." Kouga answered.  "And Inu-Yasha too."

"Oh yeah!  Who needs cheaters?  No cheaters!  No cheaters!  La la la la la la!!" said Other Minion and Mohawk Minion as they danced around Kouga.

"You imbeciles!" Kouga said, turning red now.  "There WILL be cheaters!!"

"But you said…" started Mohawk Minion.

"WE will be the cheaters!" Kouga explained as he stood up on a rock as green smoke exploded behind him.  "Stick with me and you'll never lose at volleyball again!!" 

"Um…Kouga?" said Kagome as she tapped Kouga on the shoulder.  He turned around and turned back to his regular color and all the smoke and spooky background singers disappeared as well.

"Yes Kagome?" he said.

"Could we avoid killing anybody?" she asked.

Kouga stared at Kagome for a moment as if she had just asked him NOT to kill anybody.  Then he let out a heavy sigh and turned back to his minions.  "Okay, forget the killing idea." He said sadly.

"Aww…" said Mohawk Minion and Other Minion as they deflated with unhappiness.

"Many thanks, Lady Kagome." Said Miroku as he did the little one handed pray thing.

"You heard our evil plots?!" demanded Kouga.

"Of course we did!" said Sango.  "You guys were yelling loud enough so that the whole beach could hear you!"  They all looked around to see that they now had an audience around them.

"GET OUTTA HERE!!!" Kouga bellowed.  All the people screamed in terror and darted away.

"I do believe that it is still our serve and we have just acquired a point." Miroku said as he threw the ball into the air.  "Three serving four!" he said as he hit the ball.  Other Minion easily sailed the ball back over to the other side.

"I got it!" Sango declared.  At that moment, Kouga punched the ground so hard that it created a huge sand cloud and no one could see anything.  He grinned cruelly because he was sure that that worthless human woman wouldn't be able to hit the ball when she couldn't even see it but little did he stop to think of was that there were OTHER people on the court.

Inu-Yasha sniffed out the location of the ball at the speed of light and hit it back over.  Since everyone on the other side was so sure that they missed the ball, they were already engaged in their secretive handshake so the ball came over and hit Kouga on the head since cheaters STILL never prosper!!  The ball bounced up and Kagome realized that now was her moment of glory and she'd finally do some contributing to the team so she volleyed off of Other Minion who was tending to Kouga in his state of confusedness and hit the ball with a big, powerful spike.  When the sand cleared, everyone realized that she had spiked it very well hard into the ground but…ALAS!!  She spiked it into her OWN side of the court!!  HAW HAW HAW!!  Can you believe that confusedness is actually a word?

"Oops…" said Kagome as she landed back on the ground.

A red aura of light was emitting itself around Kouga.  "Now…now they have FOUR POINTS?!" he said in a very deep voice.  It wasn't his usual silly voice because the guy who was voicing him made him sound more evil and was also growling while he spoke.  "DOES THIS MEAN THAT WE ARE NOT WINNING BUT THEY ARE, IN FACT, TIED WITH US?!"

"Kouga, it's not that big of a deal!" said Kagome as she ran over to Kouga and started massaging his shoulders in vain attempt to calm him down.

"THAT'S IT!!" yelled Kouga.  "NOW I'M MAD!!  SOMEBODY FIGHT ME!!!"

"No!!" yelled Kagome.  "Don't fight!!"

At that exact moment, Kouga realized that Kagome was massaging his shoulders so he turned around and looked all happy with sparkles behind him and his mouth was open and in the shape of an upside down triangle and he had horse shoe eyes and other things like that.  "Wow Kagome!" he said as he started leaping through a field of flowers while holding Kagome's hand and she looked just as happy and he did but then he got jerked back into reality when the volley ball came out of nowhere and hit him on the back of the head.

"OUR POINT!!!" laughed Inu-Yasha.  "I can't wait to see what happens now," said Inu-Yasha to Shippo since Shippo just so happen to be sitting on his shoulder at that exact moment.

Kouga turned to his minions.  "YOU TWO ARE USELESS!!!" he yelled as they immediately got down on their knees and bowed to him while saying 'WE ARE WORMS!!'

"Just keep telling yourself; 'It's just a game,' and you'll feel better." Said Kagome as she spun Kouga around.  "It doesn't matter that they're winning."

As soon as she set that, the fact that they were winning finally occurred to Kouga.  He took a deep breath, grabbed Kagome by the shoulders and lead her over off the court and sit her down.  Then he walked back onto the court, under the net and straight over to Inu-Yasha who appeared ready for Kouga to punch him or kick him or something that Kouga would do.  But instead, he only reached out his hands, grabbing Inu-Yasha around the neck and then proceeded to shake him around violently.

"Oh no!!" Kagome yelled when she realized that no one else was doing anything to stop this.  "SIT!!!"  And then Inu-Yasha fell to the ground but since Kouga was grabbing around his neck, he fell to the ground too!!  Inu-Yasha sounded very much so like a duck and Kouga…well…he sounded like a moose.

"Why do I get punished when this wimpy wolf does something stupid?!" demanded Inu-Yasha as he kicked Kouga off into oblivion but he came back a second later.

"What else was I supposed to do?!" yelled Kagome.

"NOTHING!!" yelled Inu-Yasha.  "I could have taking care of the problem by myself!!  See?!"  And then he punted Kouga off into oblivion again but yes, he DID come back a second later just like last time.  After all, he's really fast because of the Shikon shards in his legs!!

"STOP DOING THAT!!!" commanded Kouga.

Just then, an extremely buff lifeguard in a bright red Speedo ran over.  "I heard from many random bystanders that this game of volleyball has been getting out of hand." He explained in a tough, manly German accent.  "Therefore, I have valiantly volunteered to be the referee and oversee the game to make sure there's no more cheating or harsh acts of violence."

"We won't have much of a game then," Sango whispered to Miroku.

"If I see any cheating then that particular player will be automatically disqualified from the game without any questions asked!" said the lifeguard who will be here forth known as AutoShapes!!

Everyone figured whatever and Miroku grabbed the ball.  "Five serving four!" he stated while hitting the ball.  Kouga went to hit the ball back but he was stopped by the loud sound of a whistle blowing.  Everyone turned around to see AutoShapes waving his arms around.

"Illegal serve!" he said.  "You have to have one foot on the serving line!"

"What is this 'serving line'?" Miroku asked, looking around.

"Fault one!" said AutoShapes.

Miroku decided not to give it a second thought and served the ball again.

"ILLEGAL SERVE AGAIN!!!" yelled AutoShapes.

"There is nothing illegal about my serves!!!" yelled Miroku as he opened up the air void in that right hand of his and sucked AutoShapes up right then and there.  Then he took a deep breath and acted as though that didn't happen.

"Ah ha!" laughed Kouga.  "You said you wouldn't open up the air void anymore!  You are disqualified from the game!"

"It was for a good cause!" Miroku argued.

"No, you agreed to the rule and now you're out of the game!!" Kouga said as he turned into a giant Kouga and towered down on everyone on the other team while laughing diabolically at their expense.

"Don't worry, Miroku, the only reason he's being so persistent about this is because he knows that if we have an even amount of players then he'll lose." Sango said just loudly enough for Kouga to hear in a sad attempt to use reverse psychology on him.

It worked.

"THAT'S NOT TRUE!!!" yelled Kouga.  He clenched his fist and shook it dramatically at them as if doing that was proving anything.  So he turned to Other Minion.  "Other Minion!!  You're out of the game!!"

"Why?" asked Other Minion. 

"I have to make it even and you're annoying me, that's why!!!" Kouga yelled quite loudly.

"Do not defy Kouga!!" Mohawk Minion said as he booted Other Minion off of the court.

"You know…you COULD just let Miroku PLAY and then Other Minion could come back on…" started Kagome.

"I know, Kagome, it's just the principal of the thing." Kouga replied.

"Since when did Kouga care about principals?" wondered Kagome.

"I guess this isn't too bad…" started Miroku as he watched some lady walk by with a very skimpy bikini on.  He grinned absentmindedly and followed after her with a satisfied look in his eyes.

"You…" Sango said as hundreds of little intersection veins appeared on her forehead one by one.  Then she looked at everyone else.  "I'll be right back."  And with that, she ran off in the direction that Miroku had gone in.

_"Now they have less people than us." _Kouga thought to himself as he watched Sango stomp away.  _"Should I A: Laugh at them and then point it out B: Point it out and then laugh at them C: Truthfully come forward and point it out without laughing D: Don't bring it up at all and hope no one notices E: Turn to Mohawk Minion and kick him out of the game F: Tell Other Minion to go on their team so that everyone can be fairly included G: Go beat up on Dogface H: Grab Kagome and run I: Devise more ways to cheat…"_

"Hey Kouga…do you think we should make the teams fair?" asked Kagome.

"Um…YES!!" Kouga replied.  "Mohawk Minion!!  GET LOST!!!"

"Okay…" said Mohawk Minion as he hung his head low and trudged away.  Kagome got a retarded little drop and decided not to say anything because Kouga seemed a bit edgy.

"It's just you and me, Shippo!!" said Inu-Yasha, turning to Shippo and slapping him five.

"This is such a diverse game we're playing!!" said Kagome right as Kouga was about to serve the ball.  "We have a demon, a child demon, a human AND a half-demon!!  ISN'T THAT JUST AWESOME?!"

Everyone slowly turned their heads and looked at Kagome.

"Well…_I _thought it was awesome…" said Kagome, feeling stupid.

"Kagome…it is MILDLY awesome." Said Kouga, trying to cheer her up since she looked ever so depressed.

"YAY!!" cheered Kagome, feeling smart again.

"Serve the ball already!!!" yelled Shippo.

"Wait, I don't think we should make your two minions sit out!" Kagome said as Kouga was about to serve AGAIN!!  Of course, since she said 'sit' in her sentence, Inu-Yasha quacked and fell.

"There!!" yelled Inu-Yasha, pulling his face out of the sand.  "She said 'sit' so she's out of the game!"

"It didn't have anything to do with the game though!" Kouga argued.

"Well when Miroku opened his hell hole he didn't have any intention of cheating yet he still had to sit out!" Inu-Yasha continued, looking all confident as if he had the upper hand during a fight with Naraku.  Of course, one wouldn't know what Inu-Yasha looks like while fighting with Naraku considering Naraku doesn't have balls enough to come out and fight for himself.  "So Kagome is OUT!!"

Kouga looked at Kagome.  "There isn't anything I can do!!" he said.

"It's all right!" said Kagome, trying not to make Kouga spaz and pop a few blood vessels in his eye.  "I didn't want to play anymore anyway!"  Then she joined hands with Mohawk Minion and Other Minion and the three of them frolicked off to the water to play Marco Polo.

"Now, are you too cowardly to play by yourself, Dogface or do you need that fox child?" Kouga asked as he put the volleyball under his arm.  Inu-Yasha grabbed Shippo by the collar and tossed him as far as he would go without even flinching at the fact that Shippo would probably land in the water somewhere and have to fend for himself against the sharks and puffer fish.

"Serve the ball." He commanded.

"FINE!!" Kouga yelled as he served the ball.

TWO HOURS LATER!!!

"Six serving six." Said Inu-Yasha as he served the ball over the net.

"NO!!" Kouga yelled.  "Your last point didn't count!" 

"Well if that didn't count, then that NEGATIVE point you gave me doesn't count either!"

"FINE!  Just as long as THAT one doesn't count." Said Kouga.  "NO ONE should get a point for the amount of cheating you did in that last play!"

"Oh and you DIDN'T cheat?!"

"I NEVER CHEAT!!"

"LIAR!!"

Then the two of them jumped into about the fiftieth fight complete with a big dust cloud and many scary sound effects.

"I'm so bored!!" Shippo whined as he turned into a floating balloon thing and chewed on Mohawk Minion's head.

"Me too!" whined Other Minion.  "KOUGA!!  Can we leave?!"

"PLEASE?!" pleaded Mohawk Minion.

"I'm all for leaving." Said Miroku as he dug a huge hole in the ground with his feet.

"Me too!" said Sango.

"Inu-Yasha, we're all bored!" yelled Kagome to Inu-Yasha.

"Then leave without me!" Inu-Yasha demanded.  "I'm not leaving this beach until I beat this wimpy wolf at this game!"

"SIT!!" Kagome yelled.  You know what follows.  Slam, quack.

Then, while Inu-Yasha was subdued, Miroku and Sango ran over and started beating Inu-Yasha up until he was unconscious while Shippo tied him up.

Then, Miroku, Sango and Kagome hoisted Inu-Yasha over their heads and carried him to the car.  They left Kouga standing there and to be dealt with by his two minions of different hairstyles. 

Kagome buckled the tied-up Inu-Yasha into the front seat of the car and they screeched out of the parking lot.

"We can tell him that he was not defeated by Kouga." Suggested Sango.  "They tied…I think…"

"Where did you put all my stuff from the other world, Lady Kagome?" asked Miroku as he searched around on the floor.

"In the trunk." Answered Kagome. 

"Oh okay." Said Miroku.  "I just want SOME way to harm Inu-Yasha or defend myself because I KNOW that I am not only going to be the first one he goes after but the ONLY one."

"NO!!" Shippo yelled.  "HE'LL GO AFTER ME!!  HE ALWAYS DOES!!"

Kagome wasn't really listening.  She was too busy looking at the rows and rows of peach trees on the side of the road.

"By the way, we're in Georgia." Said Kagome.  


	27. Georgia AND South Carolina!! (Oops...)

"That doesn't mean much to me." Said Sango.

"Georgia's FAMOUS for it's peaches!" Kagome said excitedly.

"What I don't get…" said Miroku.  "Is why Kagome is taking us on a tour of America when she lives in Japan.  Also, how is that we all know English?"

"SILENCE!!" Sango yelled because she thought that plot holes in our stories do not need to be pointed out, especially by the characters in them.  Then she hit Miroku on the head with her all-mighty boomerang.  Then it was teleported back to the trunk.

So Kagome decided that there was nothing interesting in Georgia except for peaches so she bypassed the whole state entirely!!  SURAH!!!

And eventually, her patient driving got her to SOUTH CAROLINA!!  YAY!!!

By then, Inu-Yasha was awake and RANTING mad.

"I ALMOST HAD THAT BASTARD BEATEN!!" Inu-Yasha yelled.  "IF YOU HADN'T ATTACKED ME, I WOULD HAVE HAD HIM!!"

Then Inu-Yasha went to attack Miroku (and maybe Shippo) but his ropes held him in place.

Suddenly, Kagome swerved and then stomped on the brakes.

"I think I just hit something!" Kagome yelled as she got out of the car to see what she hit.

"You've hit plenty of things!" said Inu-Yasha.  "And you only NOW start feeling bad or guilty?"

"Oh my god!" Kagome yelled as she picked up the roadkill that was actually still alive and gasping for air.  "I hit a woodchuck!"

"We must give it a proper burial." Said Miroku and he beckoned for Kagome to follow him since he had no intention of touching the woodchuck.

"Cough!" said the woodchuck.

"IT'S STILL ALIVE!!" Shippo yelled.

"Please…" said the woodchuck.

"And it talks." Said Sango.

"Do all woodchucks in your time talk, Lady Kagome?" Miroku asked.

"I didn't think so." Said Kagome as she only showed SLIGHT signs of being weirded out.

"Please…bring the presents…to…the orphans…" said the woodchuck.  It gestured over to the side of the road to a stack of presents that were all woodchuck sized.

"This is just getting odd." Said Sango.

"Want me to put him out of his misery?" asked Inu-Yasha.

"Um…" said Kagome.

"Make sure that little Woody gets his toy car." Said the woodchuck.  "And Chuckie gets the truck…"

"All right, this woodchuck is officially just getting stupid." Said Kagome as she tossed it behind her and got back in the car.  Miroku watched it sail over all the trees and it landed with a splat off in the distance.  He did the one handed pray, mumbled some prayers under his breath so that the woodchuck's spirit would safely make it across the River Styx and find his way to the world beyond and then joined the rest in his little spot in the car since Kagome was now beeping for him to hurry up.

"So what are we going to do here in South Carolina?" asked Sango.

"We're going to go SCUBA DIVING!!!" Kagome declared.

"What's that?" asked no one important so we can assume it was Shippo.

"It's when we put a tank filled with air on our backs, put on a mask and go deep into the water while breathing with the air on our backs!" Kagome explained as she pulled into a parking lot.

"Wait…does that mean that we have to put our bathing suits on again?" asked Sango.

"Yes!!" Kagome instructed as they all got out of the car and marched off towards the building where they would be taught how to scuba dive.  Of course, no one really stopped to think that Inu-Yasha was still tied up in the car just kind of sitting there.

"Um…" he said as he watched them walk off.  "Hello?"  But he was too late for they had already gone inside the building and shut the door behind them!!  He paused for a moment, half expecting someone to suddenly come rushing out while slapping their forehead and then let him roam free and apologize many of times.  But that didn't really happen and he sat there for about two and a half hours just staring at the door thinking that they'd be coming any time.

Suddenly, they did come.  They were all chuckling warmly and looked very content as if they had just had the time of their lives!!

Then they reached the car and sat down in their appointed spots.  At that moment, Kagome turned her head and looked at Inu-Yasha.  Her smile suddenly faded and she then looked very distressed as she turned around and looked at Sango, Shippo and Miroku.  "I TOLD you we were forgetting something!!!" she yelled.

"Oh…" said Miroku.  "I THOUGHT it was quieter than usual."

"I'm so sorry Inu-Yasha!!" said Kagome as she buried her face in her hands and started to cry as he just kind of stared at her since he didn't really care.

"Think of it this way Kagome…" said Sango as she patted Kagome on the shoulder in attempt to make her feel better.  "Inu-Yasha made us sit and wait for him for two hours back at the beach so it was kind of just like a trade."

"But I still feel bad!!" wailed Kagome.  "That was so irresponsible of me!!"

After a very long time of trying to comfort Kagome, she finally got strength enough to start driving again.  The ride was silent except for the sound of Kagome sniffling pathetically occasionally.

"So uh…could someone untie me now?" asked Inu-Yasha.  "I have an itch."

"As long as you promise not to smite us." Said Miroku.  "Since I know you will threaten it but what I don't know is if you'll actually carry it out."

"Come on, would I smite YOU guys?!" said Inu-Yasha through a fake smile.

"NOW ENTERING NORTH CAROLINA!!" said Kagome cheerfully to herself as she forgot all about feeling sad.


	28. The Curse of North Carolina

"In North Carolina, anything can happen." Said Miroku as it immediately started raining.

"PUT THE TOP UP!!" yelled Shippo.  (The top is down now.)

"I CAN'T!!" yelled Kagome.  "IT'S BROKEN IN NORTH CAROLINA!!"

"ARGH!!" Shippo yelled as he started crying.  Suddenly, the back, left tire exploded.

"ARGH!!" everybody yelled as the car rolled to a halt.

Everyone climbed out of the car and it stopped raining, the rain being utterly pointless other than to give the group a flat tire.

"Our chariot appears to be broken." Said Miroku.  "Shall we seek a new one?"

"That won't be necessary." Said Kagome as she opened the trunk and pulled out a spare tire.  "We'll just replace it with this."

"And how would we do that?" inquired Sango.

"I've got it all figured out." Said Kagome.  "Inu-Yasha, since you're the strongest, you will hold up the car so we can access the tire easily."

"Feh." Said Inu-Yasha.  "I always have to do the dirty work."

"Miroku, you will take off all the screws from the tire that are holding it in place and Sango, you will fit the tire back on." Continued Kagome.

"What about me?" asked Shippo.

"You will do nothing as usual." Said Kagome.

"YAY!!" Shippo cheered.  "Wait…I DO STUFF!!"

"You don't have to this time!" Kagome answered.

"Yes I do!" Shippo said.  "Since Inu-Yasha does the most all the time, I'll do HIS job this time!  He should get a rest!"

"You'll hold up the car?" asked Inu-Yasha.

"No." said Shippo.  "I figure that Miroku and Sango can hold up the car, I can undo the screws and you can fit the tire back on."

"I thought I was getting a rest." Said Inu-Yasha only sounding SLIGHTLY disappointed.

"Well…who ELSE could put on the tire?!" Shippo asked.  "Not KAGOME, that's for sure!"

Everyone looked at Kagome who was sitting in the car (being rather COUNTER productive) and listening to her newly acquired Sugar Beats CD.

"Whatever." Said Inu-Yasha.

"I won't be able to work with that infernal CD playing in the background!" Miroku whined.

"You'll have to live with it for once." Said Kagome with a sigh.  "Why must everyone hate what I like?"

"Could you at LEAST get out of the car while I have to lift it?" Miroku asked.

"You'll have Sango to help you!" said Kagome.  "It's not like you're doing it by yourself!  Besides, you don't need me to get out until Shippo has unscrewed all the screws!"

"It's kind of hard to help while I'm still tied up like this…" Inu-Yasha started as he tried to sound all wistful but then he realized that no one was listening to him so he threatened to smite them and Kagome untied him.

So Shippo worked hard in unscrewing the screws and it was EXTRA easy for him because he has abnormally small hands.  HURRAH!!

Then, Miroku and Sango WORKED TOGETHER AND LIFTED THE CAR UP WITH ALL THEIR MIGHT as Inu-Yasha came over and took the old tire off and replaced it with a brand new shiny one!!  YAY!!

Lastly, Shippo slaved over screwing all the screws BACK in!!  BWA HA HA!!

"YAY!!" cheered the five of them as they climbed back into the car to continue their ride.

Kagome decided that North Carolina MUST be jinxed or something so she quickly drove OUT of the accursed state and into Tennessee where they could SURELY have some good innocent fun.


	29. Jokes and a Sessho Along the Way in Tenn...

"Hey guys!" Kagome said suddenly.

Everyone else simultaneously turned their heads toward Kagome with oblivious looks TO THE EXTREME!!

"What did Tennessee?" Kagome asked.

Everyone waited for a minute.  They looked at Kagome DARING her to finish it what she was going to say.

"So?" asked Miroku.  "What did Tennessee…what?  Tennessee IS a United State is it not?"

"Oh you guys don't get it!" Kagome said with a sigh.  "It's a JOKE!!  I ask, 'What did Tennessee?' and you say, 'The same thing that Arkansas!'"

There was a long pause.

"I still don't get it." Said Inu-Yasha.

"Okay…let me pull this apart." Said Kagome.  "What did Tenne SEE, as in SEEING something!  With your eyes!"

"OH!!" said Miroku with a foolish chuckle.

"The same thing that Arkan SAW!!  As if there's a guy named Arkan and he SAW something!"

Then Kagome giggled knavishly.

"I GOT ANOTHER ONE!!" she said.  "If Mississippi wore a New Jersey, what did Delaware?"  There was a pause.  "I don't know.  ALASKA!!"

Then Kagome started laughing hysterically which only caused her to almost crash into the side of the road and kill them all.

"I think that's enough jokes." Said Inu-Yasha as he didn't even SMILE to humor Kagome in the least bit!!

"Is that what we're doing in Tennessee?" asked Shippo.  "Telling jokes?  Then what are we doing in the next state?"

"Don't be silly Shippo!" said Kagome.  "Of COURSE I have something planned for us to do!"

Suddenly, the car went over a bump similar to when the woodchuck was hit.

"I THINK I JUST HIT ANOTHER ANIMAL!!" Kagome shrieked as she jumped out of the car to see what other casualties she had caused.

"Sessho…" cried Sessho-Maru in pain as his upper body stuck out from the bottom of the hideous green convertible.

"Dear god…" said Kagome.

"You almost killed Sessho-Maru!" Miroku said with his hand on his head.

"You were SO close!" said Inu-Yasha as he snapped his fingers in disappointment.  "Next time, try to run over his head.  Better yet, his puff."

"Not…the puff…Sessho." said Sessho-Maru as he squirmed around.

"Let's go and maybe no one will notice." Said Inu-Yasha as he started the car up just for Kagome.

"NO!!  Sessho." Sessho-Maru cried as she reached her arm out.  (Oops…Sessho-Maru is a guy…sometimes it's hard to tell.)  "Don't leave me here!  Sessho."

He was a little late though because the car had already screeched with tire marks away. 

"You know what?" said Inu-Yasha out of nowhere.  "Skipping entire states at a time may annoy some people but it doesn't annoy me.  There is NOTHING to do in Tennessee and you know it!!  You were just trying to distract us with 'fun' things about Tennessee!"

"What makes you think THAT?!" Kagome demanded.

"Well, first you tell these stupid jokes to try and lighten the mood but they only FRUSTRATE me!!" said Inu-Yasha.  "THEN you run over Sessho-Maru to try and humor me and that DID work until I realized that Sessho-Maru was there and then I wanted to leave before I died of overexposure of his harmful fumes."

"I think you're overreacting." Said Sango.

"YAY!!" said Shippo cause he has said anything in quite a while.

"What do you know!!" said Kagome as she passed by the Tennessee/ Kentucky state line.  "NO MORE TENNESSEE!!  I guess we were just having WAY too much fun to even notice that we weren't in Tennessee anymore!"

"YAY!!" cheered Shippo.


	30. Kentucky Fried Chicken

"You know…" said Miroku.  "After Shippo says 'YAY!!', it's unnecessary to put 'cheered Shippo'.  We KNOW he cheered.  That's like going to the Department of Redundancy Department!"  Then he paused.  "YAY!!"

"Shut-up Hosh-sama." Said Sango.

"Shutting up." Said Miroku because Sango DID have a point.

"So what are we doing in Kentucky?" asked Inu-Yasha.  "As if it's going to be any different from what we did in North Carolina or Tennessee or Alabama or Georgia or Iowa or Kansas or any of those other states where we did nothing?"

"I plan on doing something here!" said Kagome.  "I know EXACTLY what to do in Kentucky!"

"What?" asked Inu-Yasha.

"What ELSE do you do in Kentucky?!" asked Kagome as she pulled into a Kentucky Fried Chicken.  Only, since it was in Kentucky already, them crazy Kentuckians don't need to be told that it's KENTUCKY fried so it's just called Fried Chicken.  HURRAH!!

They all pulled up their pants extra high and strutted through the double doors.  Everyone in Fried Chicken turned their heads and stared at them while eating their fried chicken.

"Just let me do all the talking." Said Kagome as if they actually said stuff when talking to guys behind the counter.  They walked up to the counter and no one was there to take their order so they paused and waited.  Suddenly, the door opened and everyone looked behind them to see Sessho-Maru hurrying in while adjusting his uniform.

"Sorry I'm late!  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru as he got behind the counter.  "I was run over.  Sessho."  Then he paused.  "Say…aren't you the group who ran me over and then didn't offer me a ride to my job?!  Sessho."

"Uh…no?" said Kagome.

"Oh, my bad!  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru with a shrug.  "What'll you be ordering?"

"Five big barrels of KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN!!!!" Kagome bellowed.

"COMIN' RIGHT UP!!  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru as he typed the order in the cash register and then turned around.  After a few minutes, he turned back around and handed them a tray with five big barrels of Kentucky Fried Chicken.  "That'll be twenty dollars.  Sessho."

"But we don't WANT to pay!!" whined Kagome.

"I'm sorry. Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru, looking depressed.  "But you have to pay to eat."

"But wouldn't you just do ANYTHING for your little brother?!" Kagome asked as she handed the tray to Miroku and then grabbed Inu-Yasha.  "Awwww!!  Look how CUTE he is!!"

"Stop doing that!!!" yelled Inu-Yasha as he threatened Kagome's life with his deadly claws of blood.

"You've persuaded me!  Sessho." said Sessho-Maru, wiping a tear from his eye and shooing them away.  "Go and eat and prosper and don't worry about paying!  Please, ask for seconds!!  Sessho."

The five of them walked over to a table and sat down.

"If this keeps up then I'll never have to use my giant wad of money again!!" Kagome said with horseshoe eyes as she sank her teeth into one of her chicken legs and chewing ravenously with her mouth open as she continued to talk about how yummy it was.

Everyone else was staring at her and decided to be hesitant about joining her in her messy activity.

"I HUNGRY!!!" chanted Shippo as he grabbed a chicken leg and bit into it.

"May I have a fork and knife?" asked Sango politely.

"Fork and knife?!" Kagome said as if she were appalled as she spittled fried chicken all over Sango since she was sitting across from her.  Sango tried not to be rude and pretended to be itching her face when she wiped off the Kagome spit.

Inu-Yasha decided that this food wasn't much different than the food at home so he decided that he would just eat it.  And he looked very much like Kagome when he ate!!  HURRAH!!

"Um…food." Said Miroku as he ate his chicken just like any other normal person would.  "I require the usage of a napkin, preferably one of the moist towelette variety to cleanse the grease remnants from my hands!"

"Damn it Miroku, talk like a normal person!" said Inu-Yasha as he handed Miroku a napkin.  Except, in the process of TOUCHING the napkin, it was COVERED in grease so it was pointless.

"What do you mean?" asked Miroku.

"Instead of simply saying 'give me a napkin', you have to drag it out for longer than necessary!" explained Inu-Yasha.

"He DOES have a point." Said Kagome.  "No one in my time talks like that."

"Well…" said Miroku.  "I'm willing to try new things.  How do people in your world talk, Lady Kagome?"

Suddenly, two punkish people walked in.

"Yo mah homie G slice lil romeo!" said one to the other.

"Dang dawg!" said the other.  "Gimme some skin man!"

"Wut's da haps in da crib brutha!" said the first.  

"Yo dang cuz!" said the second.  (Might I add that BOTH of these guys were white Kentuckians.)  Then a girl walked in.

"Wut chu doin' here, bitch?!" yelled the first.

"Leave me alone Frankie!" said the girl.

"Don chu hear da words from mah mouth woman?"

"S'all koo' Frankie." Said the second guy.  "She's MAH ho now!" 

"Oh I see!" said Miroku.  "Many thanks for opening up my eyes!"

"Um…" said Kagome.  "You might not…"

"Erm…so's koo' Lady Kagome.  Yo dang!" Said Miroku as he gave himself the thumbs up on the inside.  He continued listening to the conversation of the punk people cause they continued talking but I don't feel like writing it out.

"Miroku, don't make me harm you." Said Inu-Yasha.

"MORE CHICKEN!!" Shippo demanded.  "I SOOOO HUNGRY!!"

"Geez!" said Kagome.  "You demons eat too much!"

"I'm a growing boy!" said Shippo as Kagome patted him on the head.  Kagome's a sucker for that kind of nauseating behavior.

"Then maybe I should get you some more chicken!" said Kagome.

"Maybe you should." Shippo answered with a nod.

"You can have some of mine." Said Sango.  "It's not like I'm going to eat ALL of this chicken.  There are about FOUR chickens in this huge bucket of chicken pieces fried in grease."

"Sango, you're just exaggerating." Said Kagome.  "There's more like…two and half."

Then Kagome turned to Inu-Yasha.  

"Are you going to eat all of yours?" she asked.

"Finish yours before you take mine!" Inu-Yasha growled.  "And YES, I AM going to eat it all."

"I wasn't going to!" said Kagome.  "I was just asking!"

Kagome then turned to Miroku.

"What about you?" she asked.  Miroku just shook his head because he didn't know yet how to say 'no' in gansta language.

"Humans are so weak." Said Inu-Yasha.  "What?  Your puny stomachs can't handle a little chicken?"

"I LOVE chicken!" said Kagome as if she appalled as she began ravenously eating another piece of chicken.

"You don't have to force yourself." Said Inu-Yasha.  "Just give me a few of your pieces and back down from us superior species quietly."

"NEVER!!" Kagome yelled.  "I'm not even FULL!!  In fact, I'm still hungry!"

"Since when is the superior species the HALF demons?!" demanded Shippo suddenly.  "I thought that you guys were all made fun of and shunned and ostracized from the rest of the world!!  You're not a REAL species!!"  Inu-Yasha grabbed onto Shippo and started squishing him into a little ball.

"SILENCE YOU!!!" he yelled.

"YOU'RE GETTING GREASE IN MY HAIR!!!" whined Shippo as he started screaming and crying.

Some random strangers started gathering around while whispering things like, "Why isn't that mild-mannered girl doing anything to stop that horribly over reacting boy who is attacking that young child?!  She's so irresponsible!"

"I'M NOT IRRESPONSIBLE!!!!" screamed Kagome as she grabbed everyone by their pony-tails and dragged them outside.  Then she stormed back in and grabbed Inu-Yasha by his hair and dragged him outside too.  They all got into the car while eyeing Kagome as she wiped her face off.  "Don't be so irresponsible!" she scolded them as she slammed her foot down on the gas and sped off so incredibly fast that before anyone could question her, they were already in Illinois!


	31. Showdown with Naraku in Illinois!

"What are we doing in Illinois?!" asked Sango eagerly since she doesn't really say all that much.

"WE'RE GOING TO A GRAND MALL!!!" Kagome replied with horseshoe eyes as she pulled into the parking lot to a grand mall.  But all of a sudden, there was an earthquake and the grand mall fell down to the center of the earth but no one died because they all got out just in time!  "Awww…" said Kagome.  "We were so close that time…"

"I wonder what caused that earthquake?" wondered Miroku.

"It was I!!" came such a low voice that you couldn't really understand him.  Everyone slapped their forehead because they thought it was Sessho-Maru since he refers to himself as 'I' a lot.  They never stopped to think that it was Naraku since Naraku NEVER comes out of his secluded bubble in the corner of his own little nothingness.

"…Is that you, Naraku?" asked Inu-Yasha.

"No, I think it's just one of his puppets." Sango said.

"Or maybe it's a detachment that looks remarkably like him." Shippo suggested.

"You're right, Naraku only bears females." Said Miroku with a nod.

"How dare you?!" yelled Naraku.  "It IS I, Naraku!!!"

"We don't believe you." Said Kagome.

"Yeah, how can you PROVE it?" asked Inu-Yasha.

"I don't know…quiz me!" said Naraku, crossing his arms.

"All right, how did you deceive or make our lives more miserable excluding Kagome and Shippo?" asked Miroku.

"I cursed your grandfather, I made you and Kikyo hate each other just so I could get the Shikon Jewel and I killed your friends and made your brother my zombie slave." Naraku replied, pointing to each person individually.

Sango wiped a tear from her eye and started to cry.  "Kohaku…" she stuttered.

"NOW do you believe me?" asked Naraku.

"Yeah, we believe you." Said Inu-Yasha.  "Now what do you want?"

"ROAR!!" growled Naraku for no reason.

"I'm not really fearing your non-existent wrath." Said Inu-Yasha as he tapped his foot.

"RUN AWAY AND FEAR ME!!" Naraku yelled.

"Why run away when I can kill you right now?!" Inu-Yasha yelled.

"NO!!" Miroku yelled.  "_I_ must kill him!"

"So you don't fear me?" Naraku asked.  "Crud nuggets."

"You're out of character, aren't you?" asked Sango.  

"HORRIBLY!!" said Naraku.

"Because the REAL Naraku would NEVER say 'crud nuggets'." Sango continued.

"He wouldn't, now would he?" Naraku asked.

"Well, I can't kill him when he's like THIS!" said Inu-Yasha as if he were disappointed.  "It's like killing a guy in his sleep!"

"Well…then I guess I will." Said Miroku.  "Because unlike you, I have a time limit on my life and to smite him when he is RIGHT HERE and seemingly harmless is far easier than to kill than under normal circumstances."

"Do you think you could wait until he at LEAST is acting normal?" Sango asked.  "Because I kind of want to kill him when he is normal so that I can least feel SLIGHT vengeance."

"It's not fair!" Miroku whined.  "I'm going to die and you guys are worried about PROPER VENGEANCE?!"

"Well, we WILL kill him, just not now." Explained Sango.  

"At least this way you get to keep your Air Void and use it more and bond with it until the day you get to say goodbye forever!" Said Kagome with horseshoe eyes.  "I mean, aren't you sad?  You've had it all your life and soon, YOU WON'T!!"

"Lady Kagome…" said Miroku.  "I USED to have respect for you."

"I'm SO unpopular!" said Naraku as if that were a good thing.  Then he hugged himself.

"Come on Miroku!" Inu-Yasha whined.  "How could you feel fulfilled knowing that you were searching for this guy all your life and you finally kill him when he was hugging himself?!"

"I think I would lose sleep about it for about…a day…" said Miroku.  "And that would be about two weeks later after I finish celebrating.  Also, it would be a COLLECTIVE day.  This meaning, of course, that the day of sleep I will lose will be cumulative over the rest of my life."

"EEE HEE HEE!!" said Naraku as he frolicked away.  "RUN, RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!  YOU CAN'T CATCH ME!  I'M THE GINGERBREAD MAN!!"

"He's DELUSIONAL!!" Inu-Yasha pointed out.  "It's like killing a kid in a wheelchair!"

"I RAN AWAY FROM THE HALF-DEMON DOG, I RAN AWAY FROM THE REINCARNATED PREISTESS, I RAN AWAY FROM THE CURSED MONK, I RAN AWAY FROM THE DEMON EXTERMINATOR, I RAN AWAY FROM THE FOX DEMON AND I CAN RUN AWAY FROM YOU!!" sang Naraku.

"Didn't he already state that he had previously run from us?" Miroku asked.

"Yes." Said Sango.  "But he's pointing out the fact that he runs from EVERYONE.  NUMEROUS TIMES!!"

"I'm bored." Said Shippo.  "Can we just kill this guy and leave!  Or at least WOUND him and leave?!"

Everyone watched Naraku off in the distance as he got on a bus and drove away.

"Well Miroku," said Inu-Yasha as he patted Miroku on the shoulder.  "You missed your chance."

"That's quite all right." Said Miroku with only ONE intersection vein on his forehead.  "I know Naraku is far more clever than this and this was either some really evil plot he had OR it was some stupid FAKE Naraku.  Either way, even if I HAD smote him, Naraku would not have been dead in the end."

"Actually, I think Naraku was just being stupid." Said Kagome.  Then there was a pause as they all wistfully stared at the vacant road in front of them and the wind blew their hair around.  

"Anyhoo!" said Shippo randomly.  "I think it's about time to go to the NEXT state!"

"That's MY line!" whined Kagome as she climbed into the car to be followed by everyone else.

A large sign in the shape of Wisconsin flew by on the right.

"Lady Kagome!" Miroku said excitedly.  "We are now officially in Wisconsin!"


	32. Wisconsin and the Birth of the Imposter ...

"Wow Miroku…" said Inu-Yasha grumpily.

"What's gotten YOU so cranky?" asked Kagome as if Inu-Yasha being ungry offended her.

"It's the god damned heat!" Inu-Yasha snarled.  (yes, he snarled.  He also called out the lord's name in vain but we'll let that slide seeing's how…um…we don't care…)

"That's because you've got such insanely long hair!" Kagome yelled.

"It's not MY fault!" Inu-Yasha yelled.

"Why don't you cut it?!"

"NEVER!!"

"Not even a little?"

"HOW DARE YOU!!"

"Well…" said Kagome as she parked the car in some random parking lot.  She got out and grabbed Inu-Yasha's hand and pulled him into some random building with some random sign that said, 'Get Haircuts Here Because Gomamon Digivolves To Ikkakumon!'

Unfortunately for Inu-Yasha, he did not see the sign.  He was far too busy asking Kagome where they were going and why she kept saying, 'You'll thank me for this!'

Sango, Miroku and Shippo shrugged and followed.

"Now we only have about an hour to do this because it's getting dark so this place is probably closing soon…" started Kagome but some guy ran up to them at top speed.

"Welcome to my shop!" said some French, Wisconsinian barber.  

"We've got a first-timer here…Pierre…" said Kagome as she looked down at Pierre's nametag.

"Magnificent!" said Pierre.

Inu-Yasha, we have to give him credit, is not at stupid as he looks.  Though he's never been to a real live hair cut place, he still knows what Kagome was thinking because of all the random people getting haircuts scattered among the shop.

"I thought I said NO!!" Inu-Yasha bellowed.

"But you'll be much less hot!" Kagome retorted.  "Come on Inu-Yasha… do it for me…"

"I can't go to a professional haircut place!" said Inu-Yasha as he gestured to the hat that he actually IS still wearing.  (If we stated otherwise or said anything to make anyone believe that he wasn't wearing a hat right now…DIE!!)

"Well…" said Kagome.  "You take the hat…OFF!!"

"NO!!" Inu-Yasha yelled as he tore off his Takeblah hat.  "UNDER THE HAT!!"

"THE EARS!!" shrieked that SAME lady as she fainted.  She had on triangle earrings that were constructed from green crayons.

"Oh yeah…" said Kagome with a chuckle.  "Well…if you wanted to keep it a secret, I guess it doesn't matter anymore anyway."

"OOOOHHH!!" said Pierre as if he had the basket (which he probably does).  "You come with big challenge for Pierre?!  I SO HAPPY!!  Not only do you bring first timer with long billowing hair, but he also has FREAK CAT EARS ON TOP OF HIS HEAD!!"

"Freak…CAT ears?" Inu-Yasha grumbled under his breath.  He was just about to destroy Pierre but Kagome threatened to say 'sit' so he didn't.

So, whether Inu-Yasha would actually get his hair cut…Kagome didn't care anymore.  She wandered over to her other three friends were playing with a hairdryer, dancing around knavishly and adjusting clothing.  Whichever is doing what, you decide…as the reader.

"I think we should ALL get haircuts!" said Kagome cheerfully.

"Cut my hair?" Sango asked.

"Yeah!" said Kagome.  "And those stupid sideburn things too!"

"But I won't be able to wear my bow without my hair!" whined Shippo.

"Exactly." Said Kagome.

"But this hairdo is the STYLE!!" said Miroku.  "EVERYONE'S wearing it nowadays!"

"Maybe in YOUR time but in mine, NO ONE wears their hair like you."

"Kagome!!" yelled Inu-Yasha from across the room.  "You don't actually think I'm going to go through with this!!"

"Come on Inu-Yasha!" Kagome complained.  "Just a LITTLE?"

"I NEVER AGREED TO THIS!!" Inu-Yasha HOLL-ered.  

"How you got him in here without anyone knowing is a mystery to me, the writers as well as Inu-Yasha." Said Miroku.

Everyone stared at Miroku for a while as he stood there with his eyes closed while praying with one hand.  Finally, Pierre decided that he could not wait any longer because there were so many people who needed haircuts and they were all standing right in front of him!!

"All right, who's first?!" he asked, bouncing up and down.

"ME!!!!!!!!!" Shippo yelled as he leapt up into the air and landed in the seat in front of Pierre.

"Oh happy day!!!" said Pierre as he whipped out his scissors and cut off the ponytail in about five seconds.  Probably even less.  He cut it off in however much time it takes to close your scissors.  "YAY!!" he said as he handed Shippo the hair.

Shippo stared at it for a few seconds and then his eyes started watering and he started to cry with waterfall tears.  "MY HAIR!!!!!" he wailed.

"Why did you volunteer if you knew it was going to crush you?!" demanded Sango.

"Because it'll grow back." Shippo answered, pointing to his head.

"Exactly!" said Kagome.  "In time, you'll be able to put your hair up in a bow again!  I'd say…a few months."

Everyone paused and then Shippo's hair grew back right then and there.  He cheered and put it up in a bow but Kagome took it from him and burned it.  So he sniffled and started to cry again.

"Why did your hair grow back so fast?!" asked Inu-Yasha.

"Us demons can do whatever we want." Said Shippo.  "If we want our hair to be a certain length then by golly it's a certain length!  After all, I'm only BORROWING this human form so it's kind of just like a costume.  I'm REALLY a cute little fox!"

"That was unusual!" said Pierre.  "Who's next?!"  He scanned the group and then gasped.  "You, my beautiful bellisima!" he said as he grabbed Sango's hand and kissed it.  She only blushed and looked all, 'You're just SAYING that…' "Come this way!"

He led Sango over to the little chair and sat her down.  Miroku leaned over to Kagome.

"Lady Kagome," he said.  "Why is it that when I start to make the moves on Sango, she gets angry with me but when this guy she doesn't even know makes the moves on her, she smiles and blushes?"

"Well…" Kagome said as she got dot eyes and a retarded little drop.

"How do I look?" asked Sango as she pranced over to where everyone else was.  They stared at her for a moment and couldn't place what was missing but then they noticed that her sideburns were cut off.  So everyone threw a party and they decided that the world was now a better place without Sango's sideburns.  Many thanks went to Pierre and they were about to parade out of the room when Pierre reminded them that there was still work to do so they came back over only because Kagome made them.

"I'll go next!" said Kagome as she hopped into the chair.  She started looking through all the magazines while speaking in fast motion and pointing at all the pictures as Pierre cut her hair while the sound of a chainsaw was heard and pieces of hair were being thrown every which way!

Then, abruptly, he stopped.  "It is my greatest work!" he declared as he spun Kagome around in her chair and she glowed with happiness.  Everyone stared at her.

"So…" started Miroku.

"It looks great!!" said Sango since she's a female and notices when people just get a trim to get rid of split ends.  "It suits you!  You should have it that short all the time!"  Then Kagome and Sango talked in the background about all kinds of feminine crud that's not interesting enough to put on paper.

"I WANNA GET MY HAIRCUT AGAIN!!!" Shippo yelled as he threw a temper tantrum.  At that exact moment, Kagome realized that Inu-Yasha and Miroku hadn't volunteered yet and it was odd because they were the ones who needed it the most since men should not have long hair!!

"Miroku, you first!" said Kagome.

He looked appalled.  "Lady Kagome…" he said.  "Please, I am a monk."

"It'll only take a second!" Kagome assured him as she attempted to lead him over to the haircutting chair area where Pierre was waiting.  "Just one little snip and you'll look like a normal person from my time!"

"I refuse." Said Miroku as he planted his feet on the ground.

"But you promised that you would if _I _did!!" Kagome whined.

"That's not going to work on me this time, Lady Kagome." Said Miroku.  "Last time, it was only a matter of momentary pride in front of people that I didn't know and no harm would come to anyone.  A thing like this could shame my family and heritage."

"You actually think that your parents are going go get mad because you cut your hair?!" Kagome said.

Miroku sighed.  "Lady Kagome," he said wistfully.  "My father met his end many a year ago.  I thought you would know such a thing."

Kagome felt stupid.  "I meant your stepparent…" she tried.

"It was an honest mistake." Said Miroku, wiping a fake tear from his eye.

"Well…just because I did that, I'm not going to make you get a haircut." Said Kagome as she patted him on the shoulder.  Then she spun around.  "That means that it's YOUR turn Inu-Yasha!!"

"Never!" Inu-Yasha declared, crossing his arms.

"Oh…and I thought with your long, silver hair, we could make wigs for the children who are getting chemotherapy." Said Pierre as he sniffled.

"And WHAT is chemotherapy?" demanded Inu-Yasha.

"It's a therapy to help treat certain diseases." Kagome explained.  "It makes you lose your hair."

"Why would I want a bunch of bald kids wearing my hair?!" yelled Inu-Yasha.  Everyone in the entire haircutting place whipped their heads around and stared at him as if he were some kind of sick-o.

"Why does it even matter?" Miroku asked.  "Your hair will probably grow back instantly like Shippo's did."

"YAY!!" cheered Shippo.

"You better make a decision quick!" said Pierre, looking at his watch.  "We close at sunset and that's less than five minutes from now!"

"You close at SUNSET?" said Sango.  "That's a bit bizarre…"

"Yes and we open at sunrise." Pierre responded proudly.

"Well, whatever floats your boat." Said Sango.

"Now!" said Pierre.  "For the interesting young man with long white hair and kitty cat ears!"

"So are you SURE my hair will grow back?" Inu-Yasha asked Shippo.

"Sure!" said Shippo.  All demons can grow their hair back.  Even lowly hanyous like YOU, Inu-Yasha."

Inu-Yasha punched Shippo in the face and then sat down in the chair.

"I'm only doing this to humor you." Said Inu-Yasha.

"Good." Said Kagome.  "Because that's all I want."

So Pierre cut Inu-Yasha's hair all SHORT and he had a mushroom cut (kind of like Trunks…or something like that) and he didn't look like himself!!!  ARGH!!

"Isn't that much more comfortable?" asked Kagome as she played with Inu-Yasha's hair that was now short.

"Feh." Said Inu-Yasha as he looked at himself in the mirror.

"I hardly recognize you, Inu-Yasha." Said Miroku.

"HURRY!!" Pierre yelled as he shooed them all outside.  "The sun is about to set and we MUST close ON TIME!!"

So when Pierre closed the barber shop, he crawled into his little doghouse and waited until sunrise tomorrow when the shop would open again.

"Inu-Yasha…" started Kagome as she looked at Inu-Yasha.  "Were you aware that…uh…did it ever occur to you…um…"

Then Kagome held up a mirror to Inu-Yasha and sure enough, he had black hair and he was all HUMANIFIED!!

"ARGH!!" Inu-Yasha yelled.  "It was a new moon tonight?!"

"Apparently so." Said Kagome.  "We must not have been keeping track."

"But I ALWAYS keep track!" Inu-Yasha yelled.

"Inu-Yasha, with you in your human state, complete with your new haircut, different clothes you look like an entirely different person." Stated Miroku.

"If I didn't KNOW that he was Inu-Yasha, I wouldn't have known it was him!" said Sango.

"YAY!!" Shippo cheered because that's all he's really been doing in this story anyway.

"Well…" said Kagome.  "We're not gaining anything by standing outside this closed barbershop.  What do you guys say to traveling to the next state?"

"Why the hell not?" asked Inu-Yasha.

So they AWL climbed back into the hideous green convertible and began the perilous journey to MICHIGAN!!


	33. A Romantic Ferry Ride in Michigan

"SHIPPO!!" Inu-Yasha screamed out of nowhere.  "YOU SAID MY HAIR WOULD GROW BACK!!"

"Well…maybe it DOESN'T work for half breeds…" said Shippo.

"MAYBE it doesn't work?!" Inu-Yasha demanded.  

"Perhaps it has something to do with your current state?" suggested Miroku.  "Maybe when you turn back to normal, your hair will grow."

"You know what?" said Inu-Yasha.  "This is just retarded.  Demons' hair can grow back?"  Then he pulled the flip down mirror.  "I don't recognize myself!"

"I think you look hot." Said Kagome without taking her eyes off the road.  Everyone stared at her for a minute and she could FEEL it too!!  You know, when people are staring at you from the back you just KNOW!!  "Um…how about a sing along?  I know a good one!"

"Is it disturbing in anyway?" asked Miroku.  "After all, Shippo is present and he's quite the naïve one and could end up repeating inappropriate things!"

"No." said Kagome.  "Unless you guys take it literally.  You guys can join in after a little bit."

Then Kagome cleared her throat and began a rousing round of ten thousand bottles of beer on the wall as they crossed the Wisconsin/Michigan border.

"So rather than just giving EVERYONE one of your NUMEROUS beverages, you have to take one down individually and share it with everyone?" Miroku asked.

"It's just a song!" Kagome yelled.  "I didn't write it and I in no way do what the song says!  GEEZ!!!"  She huffed and puffed angrily and then calmed herself down when they reached a parking lot that she could pull into.  In front of them there was a big mass of water!!  HOORAH!!

"Are we going swimming again?" Sango asked, sounding annoyed.

"No, we're going to take a ferry." Kagome replied as she pulled out a map and showed it to all of them.  "You see how Michigan is split into two parts?  We're in this part right here so we're taking a ferry from this part to that part and then we'll continue our road trip from there!"

"That's stupid." Said Shippo.

"HOW IS IT STUPID?!" yelled Kagome as she turned into a giant floating head whose mouth doesn't move.  "I HAPPEN TO FIND IT TO BE A VERY GOOD IDEA AND IT GIVES US SOMETHING TO DO IN MICHIGAN!!!"

Just then, someone with a puff walked up to them.  "Will you be taking your car onto the ferry?" he asked.

Everyone paused.

"Well?" said Inu-Yasha.  "Aren't you going to say 'Sessho'?"

"Why would I say 'Sessho'?"

"Don't listen to him, he's trying to confuse us," Inu-Yasha whispered to everyone else.  "I'm sure as soon as our backs are turned he'll say it."

Just then, Sessho-Maru walked over.  "Thank you for holding my puff, John-Luke.  Sessho." He said.  John-Luke said whatever and gave Sessho-Maru his puff.  Sessho-Maru then patted him on the shoulder.  "I will take care of this group.  Sessho."  John-Luke said whatever again and then left.

"Um…okay." Said no one in particular.  It might have been Sango or Shippo.  They don't say much.  But you already knew that.

"Is that my little brother?!  Sessho." Yelled Sessho-Maru as he gasped dramatically.  He grabbed Inu-Yasha's cheek and pinched it.  "Your human form is just so silly!  And you look so very different with short hair!  Sessho."  Then he paused a moment.  "Wait…why do you have short hair?  Sessho."

"I figured it would grow back a second later but then I suddenly turned into a human because of the new moon." Inu-Yasha replied, pointing towards the sky.  Sessho-Maru looked up and nodded.

"Ahh…Sessho." He said.  "But still, you have disgraced our family.  Sessho."

"Sessho-Maru, as far as you're concerned, me being myself disgraces our family so don't even get me started!" said Inu-Yasha.

"WELL!!  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru, looking offended.  Then he decided to shake it off because, after all, he IS a dog!!  HAW HAW HAW!!  "Okay, will you be taking your car onto the ferry?  Sessho."

"Yes, we will be." Kagome answered.  Sessho-Maru held out his hand and Kagome gave him the keys.  "Come on, everyone, let's get on the ferry!!"  Then she grabbed everyone and booted them on the ferry.  "Ah…it's going to be so beautiful to see the ocean at night!  The stars will be so bright!  It will be very romantic."

Everyone paused.

"But…isn't this just a lake?" asked Miroku.  Kagome paused and decided to once again take advantage of their limited knowledge of her world.

"No, it's the ocean." She replied.

"But this says that it is a lake." Said Miroku as he opened up Kagome's little road map that they were living on.  "In fact, one of the words in the title of the body of water is the word 'Lake'."

"Give that to me!!" yelled Kagome as she grabbed the map and tore it up into a thousand pieces.  Then she paused and slapped her forehead while uttering words that should not be repeated under her breath.  Sango gasped and blocked Shippo's ears.  "Well…it's ocean-LIKE!" said Kagome.  "So it will still be romantic and beautiful!  You didn't have to prove me wrong…"

"Yes…yes I really did." Said Miroku.  "Forgive me." (Insert one-handed pray thingy here.)

"I've been meaning to randomly ask you, Miroku." Said Shippo…randomly.

"Yes?" asked Miroku.

"Why is it that you pray with ONE hand?" Shippo asked.  

"Doesn't everybody?" Miroku asked with a confused expression.

"Um…I don't know." Said Shippo.

Suddenly the ferry sounded off some really loud horn blows that shook the whole wide world.

"That means the boat is going to start!" said Kagome because she was in a slaphappy mood.  "HURRAH!!" 

"Is this a long ferry ride?" asked Inu-Yasha.

"Why?" asked Kagome.  "Don't you want to spend time with me?"

Kagome made little gestures in the direction of Sango, Miroku and Shippo and the three of them got the message and frolicked off.  (Not literally.  Maybe SHIPPO frolicked off but I doubt the other two did.)

"It's not that." Said Inu-Yasha.  "It's just…I always feel…uncomfortable in my human form."

"I know that." Said Kagome.

"And I don't know whether to want this ride to be long or short." Said Inu-Yasha.  "If it were short, that would be good because Sessho-Maru's on the boat and while he hasn't been himself lately, he might come at me at any moment.  If it were long, that would be good too because there may be something on LAND that could attack me!"

"But if we're in MY world, the worst that could attack you is another human." Said Kagome.

MEANWHILE!!

"Can I steer?" asked Shippo to the captain.  He had snuck into the MAIN AREA PLACE.

"What are you doing here little…child?" asked the captain.  (He didn't really know whether to say girl or boy because Shippo is kinda classified as a shim.)

"I wanted to know if I could steer the boat." Shippo continued.

"I'm sorry little fella." Said the captain.  "But steering the boat is the captain's job and I've got hundreds of people's lives in my hands."

"But…but…" started Shippo.  "I've never steered a boat like this before!"

"Maybe you will in the future." Said the captain.

"NO!" Shippo cried.  "Because I won't be HERE in the future!  I'll be back in MY world where there are no boats like this!"

"Where do you live?" asked the captain.

"Japan." Answered Shippo as he rubbed his eyes.

"I'm SURE they have boats like this in Japan." Said the captain.

"They do in Kagome's Japan but not mine!" Shippo whined.  "IT'S NOT FAIR!!  WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

"Um…" said the captain.  Then he whistled for his minion to come and take care of Shippo because the captain needed to steer the boat.  "POPEYE!!"

"Aye cap'n?" said Popeye. 

"Take care of this kid." Said the captain.

"I yam what yam!" said Popeye as he ate some spinach and grabbed Shippo's hand to take him in the next room as his theme song played in the background.  Popeye felt it necessary to punch people that got in his way on the way to other room just because they were there and because he could.

MEANWHILE!!!

"So…we've sufficiently ditched Shippo and both Kagome and Inu-Yasha are in the front of the boat." Said Miroku as he and Sango strutted to the back of the boat and leaned on the pole…thing.  They looked at the water for a minute.

"I'm thirsty." Said Sango.

"Why?" asked Miroku.

"Because I'm looking at all this water." Sango replied.

"Oh." Said Miroku as he looked back at the water.  "Well…looking at all this water just makes me have to go to the bathroom."

"Uh huh…" said Sango, not really listening.  Or maybe she was but she just wanted to look like she was playing hard to get.

"So what do you say?!" said Miroku.  "I go use the little monk's room and you go get yourself a drink and we'll meet back here in five minutes?"  Sango nodded and said whatever because her plan of tricking Miroku to go and get some beverage for her backfired and now SHE had to get it!!  THE HORROR OF MANUAL LABOR!!!

So they both parted ways.

MEANWHILE!!!

Inu-Yasha and Kagome were just kind of standing there.  Kagome turned her head away and started pondering and thinking about stuff and when she looked back up, Inu-Yasha had turned his head away so now he was facing the other direction.  (WOW!!)  He must have been pondering about stuff too…but then again…what if he was pondering about…KIKYO?!  THE NERVE!!!

"Um…Inu-Yasha?" said Kagome quietly, not really looking at him.  Inu-Yasha didn't reply.  She looked up to see that he still wasn't facing her so she cleared her throat.  "Inu-Yasha?"  But then she noticed that he had absolutely no intention of turning around so she concluded that he was DEFINITELY thinking about Kikyo so she started crying.  "I take you on this road trip and do all I can to make you have a nice time!!" she wailed.  "I got you a haircut, new clothes and a brand new relationship with your brother and this is how you thank me?!  You're not even listening to me!!!"

She paused and waited.  "FINE!!!" she yelled.  "SIT!!!!!"

But nothing happened so she gasped and started using inner monologue.  _"Has his tie with Kikyo suddenly made him IMMUNE to the sit command?!" _she thought since she's not really all that smart even though some people think she is.

"FINE THEN!!" yelled Kagome as she spun Inu-Yasha around and slapped him across the face.  When he looked back up, he didn't really look like himself.  "Inu-Yasha…" she said slowly.  "Since when did you grow a beard and don't you know that smoking is bad for you?"

"What?" came a voice next to her.  She turned around to see Inu-Yasha staring at her on the other side of her looking utterly confused.  She turned back around.

"Um…I'm sorry…" said Kagome to the strange unshaven guy who she had mistakenly mistaken for Inu-Yasha.  Then she looked back at Inu-Yasha.  "Since when were you on that side of me?"

"The whole time." Inu-Yasha replied.

"Well…it's just that you look like anyone EXCEPT Inu-Yasha and not to mention the fact that it's dark and stuff so it was really just an honest mistake."

"Yeah…sure…"

MEANWHILE!!!

Popeye the Sailor Man had escorted Shippo to the daycare center where he played with his electronic Big Bird game that he had brought only after hiding it for a very long time and only deciding NOW that he wanted to play it.  All the other small children were crowded around him wanting to play the game as well.

"Do you have Bingo?" asked the electronic Big Bird.  "HURRAY!!  Let's play…again."

"YAY!!" screamed all the little kids as they pressed all the little buttons.

MEANWHILE!!

"I was thinking Kagome…" said Inu-Yasha.

"About?" asked Kagome.

"That comment you made earlier…" continued Inu-Yasha.  "About me looking hot…"

"Yes?" asked Kagome hopefully.

"I was DEFINITELY hotter before." Said Inu-Yasha.

"I don't know, I think you were EQUALLY as hot with long white hair but this is a change and I think you look REALLY hot." Said Kagome as she blushed.

"No." said Inu-Yasha.  "You were right about the haircut thing.  Long hair is hotter."

"I actually find SHORT hair hotter." Said Kagome.

"You don't have short hair." Said Inu-Yasha.

"Only on GUYS of course!" said Kagome.  "Inu-Yasha.  You ARE hotter with short hair."

"How would YOU know?" Inu-Yasha asked.

"Because you're standing right in front of me!"

"So?"

"And you look hot!"

"I'm NOT though." Said Inu-Yasha.  "I'm quite cool in fact."

"Well, you're cool as well but I don't know if that's the appropriate word…"

"And hot is?" Inu-Yasha asked.  

"I don't know!" said Kagome.  "I just think you're hot right now!  As a human with short hair!"

"So are you saying that humans are hotter than demons when they have long hair?"

"I don't know!" said Kagome.  "I've just seen more hot humans than hot demons!"

"So you make the assumption that demons are never hot?"

"When did I say that?"

"Well, just cause you've seen more hot human, you assume that humans are hotter!"

"Um…I don't know…" said Kagome.  "Some demons are…snake-like and… weird and…covered in eyeballs…"

"So that makes them NOT hot?"

"Well…YEAH!!" said Kagome.  

"So do their extra eyes lower their body temperature?" asked Inu-Yasha.

"Um…" started Kagome.  "Wait…what?"

"You said they aren't hot because of their eyes and stuff."

Kagome chuckled warmly to herself because she had suddenly figured out that this WHOLE conversation was just a misunderstanding!!  HAW HAW HAW!!

MEANWHILE!!

"Those automatic flushing toilets NEVER get old!" laughed Miroku as he came out of the little monk's room.  (It was in between the men's room and the ladies room.)  He made his way back over to the area in which he was supposed to meet up with Sango.  After waiting there for a few seconds, he became fidgety and gave a heavy sigh, figuring that Sango did not wish to come back.  Of course, this thought was influenced by the sight of a young, blonde, single female with a drink which meant she was probably drunk had just walked by.  He rubbed his hands together and followed after her.

And wouldn't ya know it?  As soon as they were both around the corner, Sango walked out to the appointed meeting place.  "Hosh-sama?" she called knavishly as she looked around frantically.

Just then, two very burly guys walked over.  "You called us?" asked one.

"Um…no." said Sango, looking them up and down.  (Neither of them looked very similar to Miroku.)

"Yes you did!" said the other.  "You see, my friend here is named Hosh and my name is Sama and you were just calling our names!"

"I was actually looking for someone else who has the same name…" started Sango but then she paused.  "Well…okay, maybe that isn't his name but I call him that anyway.  And…okay…maybe it's really supposed to be houshi but it's just that I have to say it so often that it's annoying to throw in that extra syllable so I just shortened it to hosh…"

"Um…" said Hosh.

MEANWHILE!!!

Miroku was just walking around the corner with a big red hand slap mark across his cheek.  He sighed just as Inu-Yasha came right up to him with Kagome following close.

"Kagome claims that she can tell exactly how hot people are just by looking at them." He said.  Then he looked at Kagome.  "All right, Kagome.  Is Miroku hot?"

"Um…" said Kagome, blushing.

"I guess I am a bit hot." Said Miroku.  "But I think it's just because I'm wearing this long sleeved shirt."

"I like long sleeved shirts!!" Kagome yelled.  "I think they DEFINITELY make you hotter!"

"Well I should think so." Said Miroku as he stared at Kagome as if she was stupid or something.  "I'd be less hot if I took it off."

"It depends." Said Kagome.  "Do you plan on putting on a short sleeved shirt after you take that one off?"

"I'm not going to." Miroku replied.  "I was just making an observation."

"Kagome was saying that humans are always hotter than demons." Inu-Yasha continued.  "I need a second opinion.  Do you think that you're hotter than I am?"

"The problem is…" started Miroku.  "You're a human right now."

"I know.  I don't think I look hotter.  I actually think I look cooler."

"I agree but I think you're less hot because of the short hair."

"That's what I said but Kagome also says that short hair makes me hotter." Inu-Yasha explained.

"I wouldn't know, I've never had long hair." Miroku replied.  "But I have to say that whenever we're in a warm climate, you usually do look hotter than I do.  After all, I would think that such a large mass of hair would just be like another layer of clothing.  So yes, I do believe that long hair is hotter."

"You guys!!" yelled Kagome because there were people gathering around them and staring at them.

"Let's see…" said Miroku as he approached two random guys.  "This guy is obviously a whole lot hotter than this guy because he has longer hair."

"But this guy could be hotter because that guy's wearing shorts but this one is wearing long pants." Inu-Yasha pointed out.

At this point, everyone was positive that these two crazy guys had the basket and they now wanted nothing to do with them.  So they went about their merry way but those two guys who were being compared decided to go about their merry way but go a little faster than they would normally.  Inu-Yasha and Miroku shrugged since as far as they were concerned, they were talking about body temperature!!  HAW HAW HAW!!  PEOPLE ARE SO SILLY WHEN THEY DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!!!

"Okay, drop the whole hot thing!" said Kagome.  "I'm sorry I brought it up!"

"Say…Kagome, do you think that Shippo is hot?" asked Miroku.  "He has long hair but he ties it up."

"SHUT UP!!!" yelled Kagome.

"How about Sango?" wondered Inu-Yasha.

"Yes, she is definitely hot." Miroku said with a nod.  "After all, she has long sleeves and a long dress as well as long hair.  Of course, I think she's hotter when it's down as opposed to up."

And Sango was right around the corner.  At that point, she hid behind the corner as her heart pounded and she turned completely red.  She of course thought that he thought she was _hot _because Kagome had explained teenage slang to her so she immediately let her hair out of the tie right then and there before she walked around the corner.

"Ah, it's Sango herself!" said Miroku.  "We can ask her.  Sango, are you hot?"

Sango paused nervously.  "I like to think so…" she stuttered.  Kagome slapped her forehead.

All of a sudden the steam pipe blowy horn thing on the top of the ferry sounded and they all turned around to see that they were close to land.  "What?!" yelled Inu-Yasha.  "It's not morning yet!!  I can't very well get off when there are sure to be people waiting for me!!"

"Inu-Yasha, haven't you gotten it yet?!" demanded Kagome.  "We're in my time!  All of your enemies are in YOUR time!"

"Actually…" started Miroku.

"Okay…the ones that are in my time are horribly out of character so you don't even have to worry about them." Kagome corrected herself, glaring at Miroku who nodded with satisfaction.  While they said those very few lines, they didn't even realize that they had docked and subconsciously gotten their car and Shippo and gotten off the ferry!!  LORD!!

"So…we are now in the other half of Michigan?" said Miroku, looking around the little store they were in because Kagome wanted to purchase a new map since, after all, she had accidentally torn up the last one.  "It looks the same as the first half of Michigan."

"I never said it would be any different." Kagome replied as they all went outside and got in the car.

They drove along for a little while until suddenly, Shippo decided to show off his reading skills and began to read EVERY SINGLE SIGN that they passed.  Everyone was hoping that he would eventually get bored of this little game but he DIDN'T!!!


	34. Indiana, Spot the Car, Spirit and ANOTHE...

"YOU ARE NOW ENTERING INDIANA!!" Shippo read but then he was attacked by everyone and they all stuffed a giant sock down his throat since his mouth is very big.

"I figured that since Inu-Yasha is feeling uncomfortable with being in public as a human then we could go someplace secluded." Kagome informed them.  "But it's a bit of a drive so I have an idea of what we can play!!"

"I hope it's not a sing-along." Said Miroku.

"It's not!!" Kagome replied, getting horseshoe eyes.  "It's actually a road trip game!  It's called 'Spot the Car'!"

"There's a car." Said Inu-Yasha, pointing at a car as he obliviously looked at a car pass them.

"But it has to be a specific kind of car…" started Kagome.

"There's a car." Miroku interrupted her.

"It's just not spot ANY car!" Kagome tried to explain.  "You have to look for a bunch of RED cars or DENTED cars or cars without license plates or something to that extent!"

"There's a car." Sango sighed, pointing at another car.

"There's a car." Inu-Yasha observed as he watched it whiz by.

"But…" Kagome tried.

"There's a car!" said Miroku, pointing enthusiastically at the car.

Shippo spit out the sock and jumped up into the air while pointing at all the cars.  No, not all at the same time.  "There's a car!  There's a car!  There's a car!  There's a car!  There's a car!"

"I must admit, Lady Kagome, this game of yours is mildly entertaining." Miroku said, patting Kagome on the shoulder.  "I must commend you."

"Yeah…it is kinda fun…" Inu-Yasha admitted, pointing again.  "Car."

Kagome's mouth hung open like a big ugly fish.  But she shook it off, shrugged and figured whatever.  Why not let them point out a few cars on the way to their destination?  As long as they weren't ARGUING or fighting or anything mean to that extent that she would inevitably somehow get involved in!!  HAW HAW HAW!!

Pretty soon, they were all chanting, "There's a car!  There's a car!  There's a car!  There's a car!"

"Wait…that's a truck." Miroku said.  Everyone thought for a minute, said whatever and continued the game.

"There's a car!  There's a car!  There's a car!  There's a car!  There's a car!"

Kagome wondered why this humored them.  They were spotting cars…

"Okay guys, we're here!" said Kagome as she screeched to a stop in a parking lot.  They all got out.

"There's a car!!" said Shippo, pointing to one of the cars in the parking lot.

"Where are you taking us, Lady Kagome?" asked Miroku.

"A movie theater." Kagome replied.  "I've always wanted to see Spirit!!"

"Spirit?" asked Miroku.  "What kind of spirit?"

"Spirit." Answered Kagome.  "Stallion of the Cimarron!"

"A horse spirit?"

"No." said Kagome as she got out of the car and led them toward the movie theater.  "It's a movie and that's the title."

"I wanna see Spirit!" said a voice from behind them.

"Don't worry." Said another voice.  "We will, just be patient."

"Can I push the carriage?" asked a third voice.

"But it's MY turn!" whined a forth.

Everyone turned around abruptly to see a group of very familiar faces.

"Hey!  It's Inu-Yasha's friends!" said Kagura as she pointed to everyone.

"But where's Inu-Yasha?" asked Kanna.

"I wanna push the carriage!" whined Goshinki.

"I said it first!" complained Kageroumaru.

Juuroumaru was sitting in a baby carriage and sucking on a pacifier.

 "What are YOU guys doing here?!" demanded Inu-Yasha.

"I was simply taking my younger siblings to go and see a movie." Answered Kanna.

"We're going to see Spirit!" exclaimed Kagura.

"Kanna!" whined Goshinki.  "Tell Kageroumaru that I asked first to push Juuroumaru in the carriage!"

"But he got to push it on the way to the playground!" whined Kageroumaru.

"But you can't push it you stupid scorpion thing!" yelled Goshinki.

"Goshinki!" scolded Kanna.  "That was uncalled for!  I have half a mind to just take you all home right now!"

"NO!!" yelled Kagura.  "I wanna see Spirit!"

"Then everyone has to behave." Said Kanna.

"Why is it that everywhere we go, we always meet up with someone that we don't want to see?" asked Inu-Yasha to himself.

"I don't want to see a movie anymore!" said Shippo as he frowned at Juuroumaru and made faces at him.

"Me neither…" said Miroku wistfully as he looked at the stars.  He didn't really have to be wistful but he wanted to be.

"So you WON'T be seeing Spirit with us?" asked Kanna.

"We never said that!" Kagome HOLL-ered.  "I've been wanting to see Spirit for so long!"

"Then go and see it!" said Inu-Yasha as he climbed back into the hideous green convertible.  

"So you're just going sit there the whole time?" Kagome whined.

"We'll meet you in the next state." Inu-Yasha said with a smirk.

"Yeah right." Said Kagome.  "And how are you going to get there?"

Suddenly the map lowered and sitting in the driver's seat was MIROKU!!  ARGH!!!!!!!!!

"We're letting Miroku be in charge of our lives." Said Inu-Yasha.

"We may die…" said Sango.  "But that's a chance we're willing to take."

"Unless of course…" started Shippo.  "You take his place and we just DON'T go and see a movie."

"I get to drive!" exclaimed Miroku.  "HURRAY!!"

"I KNOW you guys are using some sort of psychology on me." Said Kagome as she walked toward the car.  "Miroku, move."

"Aww…" Miroku whined.

"I don't appreciate this." Said Kagome as she sat down and started the car.

"See you later!" called Kagura.  Then the five of them went into the movie theater while chanting 'Spirit, Spirit, Spirit…'

"I WILL see Spirit." Said Kagome in a determined tone.

"Where to next?" asked Miroku as he opened up the humongous map.

"We're going to Ohio." Said Kagome.  Then she pointed to the sign on the side of the road that said, 'WELCOME TO OHIO!!'


	35. Ohio's Famous Flea Market

"Oh." Said Miroku.  "Funny…it's been NIGHT for an awfully long time."

"Tell me about it!" Inu-Yasha yelled.  "When is that stupid sun going to rise?  I'm feeling so…NOT MYSELF!!"

"Think of how weird it is for us!" said Shippo.  "We have to look at you like this!"

"So what are we doing in Ohio?" asked Sango.

"We're going to a GRAND MALL!!" Kagome answered.

"GEEZ!!" Inu-Yasha sighed.  "How many grand malls are we going to go to?!"

"We haven't been to ANY yet!" Kagome yelled.  "We've always managed to do something else!"

"But they're everywhere!"

"That's why we have so many chances to go to them!" said Kagome as she pulled into a rather crowded parking lot.  

"What's going on here?" asked Miroku.

"It seems to be a flea market." Answered Kagome.  "Do you think the mall is closed?"

"I don't want to go to a flea market." Said Inu-Yasha.  "It's sounds REALLY stupid."  Inu-Yasha looked at Kagome who had an annoyed expression on her face.  "Let me guess…a flea market DOESN'T actually sell fleas even though it's namely CLEARLY says it does."

"Right." Said Kagome.

"Fascinating." Said Miroku.  "I would like to explore this 'flea market'."

"You're serious?" asked Kagome.  "It's all used pieces of junk or stuff from stores that people would never buy."

"Maybe that's what it is to you, Lady Kagome but perhaps to me, it's something more." Said Miroku as he opened the door and got out.

"Maybe they'll have a few interesting things here." Said Sango as she got out as well.

"WEEEEEEE!!" said Shippo as he hopped out of the car as well.

"Are you going too, Inu-Yasha?" asked Kagome as she turned to Inu-Yasha only to see that he wasn't there.  Then she sighed long and hard and got out of the car.  "I can't get them to go to a grand mall, but a flea market…SURE!!"

"Wow!" said Miroku as he ran over to a stand that had a little pinwheel on it.  He stared at it for a minute and then started twirling it with a sparkly gaze in his eyes as if this pinwheel was the best thing he had ever seen.  He looked at the disgusting unshaven guy.  "How much for this amazing contraption?!"

"How much you got?" asked the guy.

"Absolutely nothing at all!" Miroku replied.

"Um...then I can't sell that to you." Said the guy but then he looked up to see that stranger with no money wasn't there…AND THE PINWHEEL WASN'T THERE EITHER!!!  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Miroku skipped merrily about with the pinwheel twirling in the wind as he laughed contently looking so very amazed.  Just then, Kagome walked by with Sango and Shippo behind him and grabbed him by the collar so he would stop frolicking and he did.  "Yes Lady Kagome?" 

"Have you seen Inu-Yasha?" she asked.

"Just look for a giant splurge of red in the crowd." Miroku replied.

"Um…he's wearing different clothes."

Miroku slapped his forehead.  "How silly of me!" he said.  "Then look for the giant splurge of silver."

Kagome shook her head, annoyed.

"Oh!  Then that's probably why you can't find him." Miroku deducted with a nod.  He paused and then held up the pinwheel for Kagome to see.  "Look at my discovery!  Isn't it amazing?!"

"I really have to find Inu-Yasha…" she said.  "I wanted to take you guys into the grand mall but we can't very well go in without him!"

"Maybe you shouldn't have given him a complete and total makeover!" said Miroku.

"Silence!" yelled Kagome.  "Let's split up and meet back at the hideous green convertible in a half an hour, okay?!  I'll go with Shippo and you two can go with each other!"  Then she grabbed Shippo and ran off in the other direction and left Miroku and Sango standing there.

MEANWHILE!!!

"Where exactly are we going?" Inu-Yasha asked as he followed behind Kagome.  "Is the mall even open at night?  Could you hurry up?  Where's everyone else?  Can we leave now?  How much is left of the road trip?"  He was so very preoccupied with his questions that he didn't even realize that Kagome had stopped walking so he crashed into her.  "What's the big idea?!  Who said you could stop walking?!"

Just then, Kagome turned around to reveal that she was, in fact, NOT KAGOME!!!

"IMPOSTER!!!" yelled Inu-Yasha.

"Hi!" said the imposter Kagome.  "I'm Akari!"

"AKARI?!" said Inu-Yasha, looking appalled.  "You VASTLY resemble Kagome!"

"Ah." Said Akari, nodding her head.  "You see, she's a recycled character from myself.  I came before her."

"…What?" said Inu-Yasha.

"And you resemble someone _I _know only with shorter hair!" Akari continued.  "You must be recycled as well!!  YAY!!"

At this point, Inu-Yasha decided to back away from this girl and hope to never see her again.  As he wandered around, he realized that he now didn't know where everyone else was and he was ALL alone!!  He got so sad that he started crying.  But not really.  I was only kidding.

MEANWHILE!!!

"So Miroku…" started Sango as the two of them walked next to each other and Miroku twirled his pinwheel.  "On the ferry…I overheard you talking about how you thought I looked…well…hot…" She blushed.

"Only sometimes." Said Miroku.  "We're all hot sometimes."

"SOMETIMES?!" Sango said, getting ungry.

"Yes, you're obviously hotter when your hair is down as opposed to when it's up when you're fighting demons." Miroku replied.

"Oh…" said Sango, calming down and taking her hair out.  "So it's true?  You like me?"

Miroku paused.  "When did I say that?"

"You just did." Sango said.

"I did?" Miroku wondered.

"Yes, you did!" said Sango, getting agitated.  "So is it true or is it not true?"

"That you're hot?"

"Yes!"

"Right now?"

"Yes!"

"You don't look very hot to me…the air is a bit cold…"

But then she slapped him.  "You're such a jerk!!" she yelled as she turned around and stomped off.

Miroku thought for a minute and decided not to lose any sleep over what just happened.  But he also decided to follow Sango as not to lose her so he'd have to find HER as well as Inu-Yasha!!

MEANWHILE!!

"Shippo?" called Kagome as she looked around.  "Great.  Now I have to look for him AND Inu-Yasha!"

Suddenly, Miroku walked up.

"Lady Kagome, have you seen Sango?" he asked.

"What?!" Kagome yelled.  "You were supposed to stay together!"

"She got mad at me and left." Answered Miroku.

"Then go find her!" Kagome yelled.  "And while you're at it, keep your eye out for Inu-Yasha AND Shippo because he wandered off."

"OKAY!!" said Miroku as he walked off, pinwheel high in the air.

Kagome slapped her forehead and realized that it would be a better idea to keep Miroku by her side but she turned around and didn't see Miroku there so she was FAR too late.  ARGH!!

Suddenly, Sango walked up.

"Kagome, have you seen Hosh-sama?" she asked.

"Yeah, he went that way…" said Kagome as she obliviously pointed off in some random direction that she THOUGHT Miroku went off into.

"Grr…" grumbled Sango as she stomped off.  "Why didn't he come and comfort me?!"

As soon as Sango was out of sight, Kagome slapped her OTHER forehead.

"I have to stop letting them just WANDER away." She said to herself.  "I REALLY want to go to the grand mall."

MEANWHILE!!

"Hm…" said Shippo as he entered a store.  "What could I get for all my friends?"

"Why hello little girl!" said Creepy Sales Person Bob.

"I'm a boy." Said Shippo.

"Forgive me." Said Creepy Sales Person Bob.  "What can I interest you in purchasing?"

"Well, I have a few friends and I'm thinking of buying them presents." Answered Shippo.

"Are they all little midget people like yourself?" asked Creepy Sales Person Bob.  "Because I have a whole line of clothes that could fit people like yourself."

"No." answered Shippo.  "One of them is a regular girl from your time.  She's older than me.  Another is another girl that's about the other girl's age… maybe older but she exterminates demons so if you have anything for that then that would be great!  Another one is a perverted monk although he hasn't really been all that bad in this story.  The last one is a mean half dog demon guy.  I don't think I'll get him a present but maybe I should…"

"I have just what you're looking for." Said Creepy Sales Person Bob as he opened the CABINET OF DOOM!!!

MEANWHILE!!

"I am so VERY lost." Said Inu-Yasha to himself.

"Can I tell your fortune?" asked some scary lady off in the shadows.  She was about four feet tall and wore a bandanna and large hoop earrings.

"I've had my fortune told more times than I can count." Said Inu-Yasha with a sigh.

"Then can I tell your friends' fortunes/secrets just by looking in your eyes?" asked the lady.

"I don't know, can you?" asked Inu-Yasha in the feh tone.

"Yes!" said the lady.  "I can!  And I will for the mere price of one million dollars!"

"I don't have that much." Said Inu-Yasha.

"Fine." Said the lady.  "How much do you have?"

"Nothing." Said Inu-Yasha.  

"It'll do." Said the lady as she beckoned Inu-Yasha in her little tent.

MEANWHILE!!

"Excuse me sir?" asked Miroku as he tapped the same disgusting unshaven man on the shoulder.

"It's YOU!" said the man.  "The guy who stole my prize pinwheel!"

"Yes, it's about this." Said Miroku as he held up the broken pinwheel.  "This pinwheel that you sold me seems to be defective."

"I didn't sell it to you, you stole it!" said the man.

"SAME DIFFERENCE!!!" Miroku said with a chuckle.  "It's mine either way!"

"Well why do you think you deserve a refund for something you stole?" demanded the man who will now be called Zelda.

"The same reason why you think you deserve MONEY for this thing!" Miroku said as if the mere sight of pinwheel disgusted them.  He took a deep hoot breath.  "Fine, I didn't like your pinwheel ANYWAY!!"  So he tossed the pinwheel into Zelda's face and walked off.  He was going to suck Zelda into the void within him but he decided that he had already done that a little much of that to innocent bystanders in the futuristic world of Kagome.  He continued walking around and decided that he would not steal anything until he saw a magical looking dream catcher so he picked it up on his way over to Sango since he saw her across the way.

MEANWHILE!!!

Sango was looking at an assortment of beauty products as a lady sat behind the counter who obviously didn't use them.  She sighed and picked up a thing of lipstick.  Finally, she decided to seek her elders for help so she looked at the lady behind the counter.

"Do you have any products that would make a male who recently thought I looked hot think I look hot again even if he doesn't think I'm hot right now?" she asked.

The lady didn't move or react.  She just sat there like a lump.

Before Sango could say anything, she suddenly felt a hand on her shoulder so she gasped and thought that she was being robbed so she spun around and was just about to judo chop her attacker when she saw that it was Miroku and that it would be bad to knock him unconscious AGAIN!!!

"Hosh-sama, you surprised me!" Sango said, taking a deep breath as she tried to look as though she WASN'T looking at the beauty products and was backing away from them.

Miroku didn't say anything, he just looked at the colors in the sky since the sun was coming very close to rising.  Sango turned and looked at the colors too but then she paused for a moment and realized that Miroku was only going to take advantage of her and be perverted again so she spun around and slapped him.

"That was uncalled for!!" Miroku yelled as he just restrained himself harming her immensely.

MEANWHILE!!!

The spooky fortune telling lady was swaying back and forth while saying olm and stuff like that.  Inu-Yasha rolled his eyes and was just about to stand up and leave when the lady suddenly grabbed onto his face and yanked his close to her.  (Her name will be Chafe.)

"I can see your friends in your eyes!!" she said mysteriously.

Inu-Yasha swanked her away.  "I HAVE no friends!!" he said like Mr. Bighead as he stood up to leave.

"Then who were these mysterious characters I saw?" asked Chafe.  "There is a female with black hair passed her shoulders and a sailor uniform on?"

Inu-Yasha immediately stopped dead in her tracks.  "That's Kagome!!" he said as he ran over back to Chafe.  "What do you know about her?!  TELL ME YOUR SECRETS, WITCH!!!"

"I know that…" started Chafe as she suddenly pointed off behind Inu-Yasha.  "SHE IS STANDING RIGHT THERE!!!"  Inu-Yasha spun around and saw Kagome standing there.  He got a retarded little drop and then hit Chafe on top of the head and punted her through the roof.  Then he ran over to Kagome.

"You're happy to see me?" Kagome said as her eyes glistened.

"Feh." Said Inu-Yasha, crossing his arms and scoffing.  "I was just needed to know where you were so that we could leave."

Kagome gave a heavy sigh of disappointment.  "Oh." She said.  "I wanted to tell you that the sun should be rising soon."

"Really?" said Inu-Yasha as he ran outside the tent and looked at the sunrise with this expression on his face that looked like a kid would look if he had just gotten a brand new puppy.  "GLEE!!"

Then he started clicking his heels and doing River Dance right then and there while Kagome played some sort of Irish instrument in the background.

Suddenly Shippo frolicked up with a large bag in his hand.  (Yes, they HAVE been doing quite a bit of frolicking now haven't they?)

"I bought presents for everyone!!" Shippo announced as he plunked the bag down on the ground.

"A gift?" Kagome asked as she kneeled down.  "For me?"

"YUP!!" said Shippo as he opened up the bag and handed Kagome some weird pendent with some sort of million-year-old mummy curse on it and put it around her neck.

"Thanks Shippo!" yelled Kagome as she hugged Shippo.

Then Shippo skipped over to Inu-Yasha and tossed him a squishy old beanbag with stink lines coming out of it.

"Gee Shippo…" said Inu-Yasha sarcastically.  "Thanks."

Shippo said YAY!!  He reached into his bag and looked around.  Then he glared at Kagome.  "Where's everyone else, Kagome?!" he demanded as if Kagome were some evil villain who had Miroku and Sango tied up in some random sewer with rats crawling all over them and was holding them for ransom or things like that.

"I don't know!!!!!" Kagome said as she smiled.  Just then, Sango and Miroku just WALKED around the corner!!  Isn't is wonderful how everything always just works out like that in the end?!

"YAY!!" cheered Shippo.  "I bought gifts for you guys!"  He reached into his bag and then handed Miroku…A PINWHEEL!!!

"Joy!!" said Miroku as he started twirling the pinwheel.  "I must say it is not quite as good as the other one but I will still prize and cherish it as if it were…" But then the pinwheel snapped in half at the handle.  "Aw man…"

"And finally, for Sango I have…" Shippo said as he pulled out a little shirt that was about fifteen sizes too small for even someone like Shippo.

Sango picked it up by its mini coat hanger.  "It's lovely…" she said, trying not to hurt Shippo's feelings.

"Hey guys, LOOK!!" said Inu-Yasha randomly as he pointed at the sun as a little teeny crack of it rose over the horizon.  They looked over at the television to see the sunrise report to see Frieza standing there with a pointer while pointing to a big picture of the sun.

"This is the sun." he/she/it said.  Then he/she/it held up five fingers.  "It will rise in five minutes."

"Oh no!!" said Inu-Yasha as he grabbed the television and started shaking it around wildly.  "If FRIEZA says it will rise if five minutes then it really means about five HOURS!!  What'll I do till then?!"

"Come on, it's coming over the horizon as we speak." Kagome pointed out.

"Not to repeat myself or anything but it has really been night for an AWFULLY long time." Miroku said.

"Shut up!" said Kagome.

Suddenly, some mysterious man with a hat and a huge trench coat on walked up to them.  It didn't take them all more than five seconds to realize that he was Sessho-Maru considering the puff.  "Hey you guys.  Sessho." he whispered indiscreetly.  "You wanna buy a puff?  Sessho."  Then he opened up his trench coat to reveal a bunch of puffs racked up on it with little individual price tags on each.

Everyone paused for a moment and stared at Sessho-Maru.

"WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY BROTHER?!" yelled Inu-Yasha.

Then they decided that since Sessho-Maru had shown up, they had to leave.  So they did and went all the way to West Virginia at the speed of light and everyone knows that West Virginia has the best carnivals so they went to a carnival.


	36. Crazy West Virginia and Their Carnivals!

But Weather Man Frieza is a weatherman for a REASON!!  The sun rose within five minutes and Inu-Yasha changed back to normal.  HURRAH!!  And within seconds…his hair grew back too.  And he just so happened to be wearing a red shirt so he looks REALLY normal!!  YAY!!

As they stood in line, Inu-Yasha started sniffing the air.  "What is that repulsive smell?!" he said suddenly.

"Maybe it's the petting zoo." Kagome replied.

"It doesn't smell like poop…" Inu-Yasha said nonchalantly.  Kagome got a retarded little drop because Inu-Yasha isn't one to utter the word 'poop'.  He continued sniffing around some more.  "The odor…is emitting itself from…ME!"

"That's not surprising." Said Miroku.

"SILENCE MONK!!" yelled Inu-Yasha.  He reached into his pocket and pulled out the 'present' Shippo had brought him.  He put his sleeve up to his nose and held it as far away from himself as he possibly could.  "It's THIS thing!!  This is the object that reeks!"

"YAY!!" cheered Shippo.

"Why didn't I smell this before?" Inu-Yasha wondered as he tossed the smelly bag into the petting zoo.  A few hideous, smelly goats ate it.  And then they died.

Then they got their little stamps and frolicked about in the land of the carnival.  Actually, Kagome immediately dragged them over to the Tunnel of Love and insisted that since they had been annoying for the entire trip then they would HAVE to do what she wanted to do.  They argued that they had been doing things that she wanted to do for the whole trip but she told them to shut up and they surprisingly did.

"Shippo, go play on the Dumbos." Said Kagome as she punted Shippo.

"YAY!!" cheered Shippo as he sailed over the carnival.  (Why is Shippo even in this story?)

Suddenly, Miroku leaned over to Inu-Yasha.  "Look at this humungous guy in front of us." He whispered.

"What, the really tall guy or the really fat guy?" Inu-Yasha asked, not quietly at all.  But thankfully, the really tall guy and the really fat guy didn't notice.

"I don't know…both are abnormal." Miroku replied.  "And look, the really tall guy has a date who's about five inches tall."

"Okay." Said Inu-Yasha since he didn't really feel like talking to him.

They waited until suddenly, Kagome spun around.  "OH MY GWAD!!" she HOLL-ered.  "There are two guys getting in the same boat!!"

Sango, Miroku and Inu-Yasha raised an eyebrow at Kagome.  In their world, there was no such term as 'has the basket' so they didn't know what the problem was here.  After a few minutes, Kagome spun around again.

"It's almost our turn." She reported.  "Okay, who wants to go with me?"

"I'll go with you, Kagome." Said Sango.

Kagome burst into flames and stared at Sango.  "WHAT?!"

"Or not…" said Sango, backing away.

"This is the Tunnel of LOVE!!!" she screamed, starting to hyperventilate.  "I must enter will a MALE!!!!!"

"I will go with you, Lady Kagome." Said Miroku just to see what Kagome's reaction would be.

"But…don't you want to go with Sango?" said Kagome hesitantly.

"No." Miroku replied plainly.

Sango gasped dramatically and slapped him across the face.  "I wanted to go with Inu-Yasha ANYWAY!!" she said since everyone else is out of character so why shouldn't she be?!

"What?!" said Miroku with an appalled look on his face.  "How dare you?!  Well, I wanted to go with Lady Kagome right from the start!"

"How DARE you?!" yelled Sango as she grabbed onto Inu-Yasha's arm.  He kind of just stood there and stared at her as she climbed into the boat and them pulled him in.  They sailed off into the tunnel…the Tunnel of LOVE!!

"Fine Sango, I wanted Kagome to bear my child ANYWAY!!" Miroku called after her.

"Why do you always ruin everything?!" demanded Kagome in a whiny voice so you could barely understand her as tears streamed down her face.

"Oh fear not, Lady Kagome, I was not SERIOUS." Miroku said as if that pertained to anything she was talking about.

"But didn't you get the fact that I wanted to ride in the Tunnel of Love with Inu-Yasha?!" Kagome asked as she got into little swan boat.  Miroku got in with her.

"But Sango wanted to go in with Inu-Yasha as well.  You can't always get your way, Lady Kagome."

Kagome gave Miroku a questioning look.  "Are you ALWAYS this stupid or am I just lucky?!" she said angrily.

"Why would you be lucky catching me on a stupid day?" Miroku asked, utterly confused.  She gave a heavy sigh as the two of them rode on the little boat down the tunnel.

"This is quite relaxing, Lady Kagome." Miroku said as he looked at the scary cupids and hearts on the walls.

As soon as he said that, a scream that said 'SPIT IT OUT!!!!!' was heard echoing further in the ride.  Miroku and Kagome paused, looked at each other, shrugged and then STOPPED looking at each other.  They also stopped pausing.  But not really considering nothing's really happening.

MEANWHILE!!!

Sango was VERY disgruntled and being disgruntled at INU-YASHA as if he had forced her to go on the ride with him.  He was just kind of sitting there Indian style as if nothing in the world was good enough for him.

"Nothing in the world is good enough for me." Inu-Yasha said suddenly.

MEANWHILE!!!

Kagome was sitting in the boat with her arms crossed in the full fish face scowl with a wrinkly forehead and everything.  Miroku took a moment from observing the scenery to notice that Kagome wasn't really having the time of her life like he was having.  He sighed and decided to calm her nerves so he leaned over and started stroking her forehead creases while saying in a very soothing voice, 'Violin, violin…'

"STOP TOUCHING ME!!!" Kagome yelled as she started thrashing about.  Miroku immediately drew back from her.

"I was just trying to help." He said as if he were a saddened child.

"You were playing a violin on my forehead creases!!" yelled Kagome.

"I did it to my Step Parent all the time when I was little." Miroku said as a tear formed in his eye.  When he thinks about Step Parent, he thinks about his real Dadoo who is now not among us and that makes him sad.  "Oh Lady Kagome.  _I _don't talk about YOUR deceased family members!"

"Were you dropped on your head as a child?" Kagome question.

"No, Lady Kagome, do not try and comfort me." Miroku said.  All of a sudden, a very evil cackle rang about in the Tunnel of Love.  "Hm…" said Miroku, suddenly getting over his poppa.  "It sounds like a troubled soul having difficulty finding his way to the world beyond this one."  He stood up dramatically.  "Being a monk, I must go and help it."

"No, Miroku, please don't." said Kagome.

"Don't try and stop me, Lady Kagome." Miroku said as he swatted her aside even though she wasn't really attempting to stop him from going anywhere.  "I must fulfill my job."  He took a deep breath and then jumped into the water.  Unfortunately, the water only went up to about his knees.  He looked slightly disappointed but decided to ignore the entire fact and to just continue on his merry way.  And that is just what he did.  Kagome watched him dash off.  She was going to let him go and just figure it out on his own that that laugh was probably meant to be there so that the girl would scream in terror and latch onto her date.  Then at that exact moment, she realized that Inu-Yasha and Sango were probably also on hot pursuit of the laugh.  Kagome decided to chuckle warmly and end all of her troubles by slitting her wrists but then she didn't because she wanted to see Inu-Yasha one more time.  So she just sat there alone in her little swan.  A few bright purple lights off in the distance and then blackness.  Occasionally, she would hear a battle cry, 'You'll never take me alive, demon!' or 'Play time is over!' and then silence again.  She didn't really care.  At this point, she just wanted the ride to be over.

AND THEN IT WAS!!!

Then she rounded the corner and searched for Inu-Yasha, Sango and Miroku but didn't see any of them.  Then she climbed out of the boat and ran over to someone who looked remarkably like Sango and Inu-Yasha but they were latched together at the arms so it couldn't possibly be them but she decided to go over there ANYWAY and she did and tapped them on the shoulder but much to her dismay, when they turned around, they WERE Inu-Yasha and Sango!!  AHHHHHH!!!

"AHHHHHHHHH!!" yelled Kagome.

Sango looked around.  "Where's Miroku?" she demanded.

"I don't know." Kagome replied as tears streamed down her face.  "But I guess it doesn't matter since you have Inu-Yasha now!"

"Uh…no." said Sango as she dropped Inu-Yasha's arm.  He was just all like 'Lur.  I'm TRYING to care.  But I don't.  I try and I try but no matter what I do, I can't seem to care.  About anything.'  "This was just an act.  I was trying to make Miroku jealous so he would apologize."

"Sure!" said Kagome as she turned around and crossed her arms.  "My own two friends double-crossing me the whole time!  So how long has this been going on?  Did you make the whole Kikyo thing up just to get rid of me?!"

"WHAT?!" yelled Inu-Yasha.  "How DARE you even ACCUSE me of…!"

"Don't even try Inu-Yasha." Said Kagome as she wiped tears from her eyes.  "It's over."  Then she ran away.  "Don't come after me!!!"  Then she darted behind the corner and waited for Inu-Yasha to follow her.

Inu-Yasha looked at Sango.  "Should I punish her?" he asked.

"Beat some sense into her." Sango replied.

"That I will." Inu-Yasha replied as he got this sentimental look on his face and then started calling out Kagome's name while going after her.  Kagome chuckled to herself, feeling smart and then rubbed her face and spat out some more tears just as he came around the corner.

And now we're going to meanwhile to Miroku and Sango.  Yes, Miroku has returned.

"I have located the object of annoyance!" he declared, holding up a cupid with a demon ward on it.  "This hideous cretin was trying to destroy us all.  I saved you're life Sango.  You should thank me."

"Yeah right." Said Sango.

"Why not?" asked Miroku.  "Look at this thing!  It's horrendous!"

Sango looked at the cupid thingy.  "It IS horrendous…" she concluded.

"Did you think I was lying?" Miroku asked, looking offended.  "It could have destroyed us both.  But now, it shall live no more.  I have trapped its soul forever."

"My hero!" said Sango as her heart went a-flutter.  Then she stopped batting her eyes for a moment and then looked disgusted.  "Did I just say that?"

"Say what?" asked Miroku.

"Never mind." Sango answered.  "But I'm still mad at you!"

"Why?"

"Because!"

"But I saved you!"

"Oh right.  Okay, I'm not mad at you anymore, Hosh-sama."

"Hurrah!!"  Then they joined hands and skipped off.  They pointed out many rides that they would consider going on once they found Kagome and Inu-Yasha again since they had foolishly just skipped off.  They wanted to go on the yellow roller coaster and the log ride.  But this was only because they saw their friends from earlier, you know the fat guy and the tall guy, on both of these rides and wanted to stalk them.  Mildly out of character?  Maybe.  DIE!!

At that exact moment, they met up with Kagome and Inu-Yasha.  Kagome had a black eye that disappeared a second later and she LOOKED happy so I guess all was well and she didn't want to slit her wrists anymore!!

"Did you hit Kagome?" asked Sango to Inu-Yasha.

"No, she picked a fight with the bearded lady." Inu-Yasha replied.  "The bearded lady said I was hot and Kagome got mad.  And come to think of it, I am rather hot."

"YEEEE-HAW!!" said some random girl behind him who agreed.

He only glared at her evilly, plotting many deaths.

Then they got in line for THE BUMPER CARS!!!  This was at the request of Miroku and Sango since their friends 'The Fat Guy' and 'The Tall Guy' were ALSO going on this particular ride!!  So everyone got on and secretly decided that they would all go after the Fat Guy just for fun.  As soon as the ride started, however, two OTHER guys went after the fat guy and knocked him into a huge pile of tires.

"Oh alas." Said no one in particular.  It might not even have been the Inu-Yasha characters that we know and love.  In fact, it was some random dorky male with pink hair and a nose ring like a bull so he rammed into the two guys who went after the Fat Guy but those two guys just punted him into oblivion.  OH WELL!

And the dorky male with pink hair and a nose ring like a bull was the person who was SECOND on their list for going after too…

"HERE I COME!!!" laughed Kagome as she had way too much fun and crashed into Sango, knocking her against the wall.  Kagome chuckled warmly to herself but was interrupted because Inu-Yasha had come up behind her and crashed into her, knocking her against Sango so they were in a little line and couldn't really go anywhere!!  And of course, Miroku came out of nowhere so he absolutely crashed into Inu-Yasha who now joined Kagome and Sango in their little line of being stuck!!

"Ah…I'm very sorry." Said Miroku as he did the little one handed pray.  "I guess my driving skills are not what I thought them to be after all."

"No, that's the POINT of the Bumper Cars!" said Kagome as she put her car into reverse and pushed Inu-Yasha out.  She just kind of left Sango there since she didn't really feel like helping her.  Sango didn't care.  She was fine.

"It was all the fault of all those people standing in the middle of the ride." Miroku explained as he pointed to some random guys who were arguing.  One was the Fat Guy!!  YAY!!  "Excuse me sir," said Miroku as he called for the ride attendant guy.  "Could you tell those people that I don't like them standing up in the middle of the ride because I fear I may crash into them and snap their legs in half?"

The ride attendant guy nodded and went over to have a conference with the Fat Guy and his acquaintances.

But very soon, the ride came to an end and the ride attendant guy requested that everyone on the ride help the Fat Guy out of his bumper car since he was ever so stuck.

SO they continued their life as if it were normal.  And it was.

Kagome suggested that they go to the Ferris Wheel!!  Everyone said YIPEE and they met back up with Shippo and they all got on the Ferris Wheel and went all the way to the top but suddenly the ride BROKE and they got stuck up there!  That always seems to happen, doesn't it?

"I wish I was still on the Dumbos!!" cried Shippo as tears fell out like waterfalls.  "I'M AFRAID OF HEIGHTS!!  WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!"

"Let me comfort you, Shippo!" said Kagome since, as we have previously informed you, she falls for crap like that.  Shippo had long since figured that out so he was taking advantage of it!  YAY!!

"How long are we going to be up here, Lady Kagome?" asked Miroku since he probably thought that this was part of the ride and it was just very boring not fun or enjoyable at all.

"I don't know." Kagome replied.

"Haven't you been on this ride before?" he questioned.

"Yes." She answered.

"So give me a rough estimate." Miroku pressed.

"I've never been on it when it was broken." Kagome explained.  "It all really just depends on how fast they fix the ride."

"Hey, those two guys look like they're going to…" started Sango but then two guys jumped out of the ride.  "Jump out of the ride…"

"Wow!!" said Kagome as she looked over the edge.  Then she paused.  "Don't you guys get any ideas!!"

"Aww…" said Inu-Yasha as he climbed off the ledge.

"Hey look, the Fat Guy is about to jump!!" Miroku pointed out.

"I bet he won't." said Inu-Yasha.

"I bet he won't either." Miroku replied.

"You're on!!"

They paused and then the Fat Guy jumped and caused an earthquake when he landed.  There was a big hole in the ground where he landed and a few people were crushed to death but he obviously didn't care as he ran to catch up with the other two guys who jumped before him.  Even though it was only about five steps, he had sweat quite profusely because of his sudden burst of physical activity.  So he took out his handkerchief and wiped off his bald head and stuff since he WAS bald.  He had to change his shirt because he had wet marks under his armpits and around his neck and stuff.

"So I guess we didn't make a profit at all…" Miroku observed.  "Seeing how we BOTH betted against him!!"  Then Miroku and Inu-Yasha chuckled warmly.  Inu-Yasha quickly caught himself and stopped before too many people noticed.

"Don't worry, I'm sure they'll fix the ride any minute now." Said Kagome.

Of course, since she said that, it was a few hours later and no one had fixed the ride.  In fact, there were a bunch of guys just sitting there eating sandwiches with bright yellow hard hats on.  It was getting dark and cold!  ARGH!!  Then suddenly, the guys got motivated and started fixing the ride.

"WE FIXED THE RIDE!!!" cheered random worker guys as they threw their arms up into the air and the ride started.  All the people on the Ferris Wheel cheered knavishly but then suddenly the ride stopped abruptly.  Then all the people were sad because they would be stuck on the ride for an even longer amount of time and that was saddening because there were clouds forming in the sky and it was getting mucho darker and colder outside.

"Well, we got closer to the bottom." Kagome observed, trying to look on the bright side of things.  Then the heavens went CRASH BOOM!!  And it started pouring rain.  And since there was wind, the rain was going UNDERNEATH the roof of the gondola thingy that they were all sitting in.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" cried Shippo because he didn't want to be wet.

"LISTEN UP EVERYONE!!!" yelled some random guy in a megaphone.  (His name is Shave.)  "I'm going to give you instructions to help this process end quickly and less painfully!"

Everyone leaned over and watched Shave.

"I want everyone, on the count of three, to move over to the right of your cart thing and we will have weight on that side so the ride will pull itself down!" Shave declared.  Everyone got retarded little drops because they knew that if everyone moved over then their individual little carts would just be turned upside down but obviously this just didn't occur to Shave.  SNIFF!!

So even AFTER he had counted to three, no one moved except for maybe some idiot with no brains.

"Kagome, I don't think that this ride is going to be fixed anytime soon." Said Inu-Yasha.  "Do you still have qualms about us climbing down the ride or jumping down it or something?"

"No, I guess not…" Kagome replied since she was wet, cold and hungry.  PLUS, she wanted to go to Virginia.  So they all climbed onto Inu-Yasha's back.

"Um…what the hell are you guys doing?" he asked, sounding annoyed.

"Kirara's not here so it's your job to transport us around." Sango replied.

"Don't I do that anyway?" he pointed out.

"So why change it?" Miroku said with a shrug.  Inu-Yasha muttered some thing under his breath and Shippo started crying because of his virgin ears and Kagome comforted him and told Inu-Yasha to sit.  But then he got back up and they all climbed onto his back again but he said that he didn't want to take them since they were being mean to him but Kagome just told him to sit again and she kept doing that until he would take them.  So they all got back on his back and he LEAPT over to a tree and then jumped over to the ground and landed with so easily and with such grace that no one would have even been able to guess that he was just a lowly hanyou.

After a little while, they found their convertible.  Once again, it was filled up with water but they didn't really mind since they were all wet ANYWAY!!  But none of their stuff was ruined because the trunk was closed the entire time.

So…Kagome drove to Virginia!!  YAY!!


	37. Virginia and Mini Golf

"I was planning on going to a mini golf course but since it's raining ever so hard I don't know what to do…" Kagome said as she pulled into a parking lot of the mini golf course.

"We could just do what we always do when we don't know what to do." Said Miroku.

Kagome stared at him.  "What?" she said.

"Do you want me to repeat myself?" he asked.

"No, I want you to explain what you just said only in English." Kagome answered.

"Oh." Said Miroku.  He paused.  "Um…"

"I think he was saying that in every state where we don't know what to do, we just leave." Sango said since she didn't feel like listening to this conversation anymore.

"Very well said, Sango." Miroku complimented her.

"Oh.  Okay." Said Kagome as she started driving.

"Can we go to a Bug Ranch in Virginia?" asked Inu-Yasha.

"TOO LATE!!" Kagome said as they passed a sign that said 'Welcome to Maryland!  HAW HAW HAW!!'


	38. Maryland and...Dots?

"Can we go to a Bug Ranch in Maryland?"

"NO!!" yelled Kagome.

"Well why NOT?!" Inu-Yasha demanded.  "Whatever you're planning can't possibly be as fun as a Bug Ranch."

"What are you planning for us to do, Lady Kagome?" Asked Miroku.

"I plan on taking you to the United States Capital, Washington DC!" answered Kagome as she put her hand over her heart as if pledging allegiance.  Then a flag background appeared behind her and began a-wavin'.  "So…there are SO many things that we could do!"

"Such as…?" asked Inu-Yasha.

"Well…there's the White House, there's the Lincoln Memorial…" started Kagome as she counted on her fingers.

"Ooooh…" said Shippo as he pointed to a Dippin' Dots stand.  "What's that?"

"That's just a Dippin' Dots stand." Said Kagome.

"Can we eat it?" asked Shippo.

"Yeah, it's KINDA like ice cream except…not…" answered Kagome.  "So anyway, we can go to the Washington Monument or to the Jefferson…"

"I LOVE ice cream!" exclaimed Shippo.  "And I'm hungry!"

"But don't you want to see any of the sights?" asked Kagome.

"I WANT ICE CREAM!!" Shippo yelled as he bounced over to the Dippin' Dots stand.  Miroku obliviously followed him and soon, Inu-Yasha and Sango pursued this mysterious 'ice cream' that those two had never had.

Kagome sighed and trudged after them.

"What choices do you offer?" asked Miroku to the salesperson who was NOT Sessho-Maru.

"We have chocolate, vanilla and RAINBOW!!" said the salesperson.

"I WANT RAINBOW!!" Shippo yelled as he jumped up and down on the counted.  The salesperson handed Shippo a cup of rainbow and before anyone else could even see what the Dippin' Dots looked like, Shippo said 'YAY!!', turned into a balloon and floated away.

"What do you recommend?" asked Miroku.  "There are so many choices and I do not want to make the wrong one!"

The salesperson just scooped Miroku up a cup of chocolate and handed it to him.  Miroku inspected it long and hard.

"This is not the same as the ice cream I got earlier…" he said.

"Exactly." Said Kagome.  "They're Dippin' Dots."

"Hm…" said Miroku.  "I don't know…"

"They look suspicious to me." Said Sango as she picked up a spoonful of them and allowed them to fall back into the cup.

"Here Inu-Yasha…" said Miroku as he handed the cup to Inu-Yasha.  "You try them first and tell us if they're poisonous or disgusting."

"Why do I always have to test things?!" Inu-Yasha demanded.

"Because you've got a much stronger body and I do not wish to consume something that could potentially poison me." Said Miroku.  "I try to avoid being poisoned at all costs."

"Yeah right." Said Kagome.

"I don't poison myself on PURPOSE, Lady Kagome!" Miroku yelled as if he were appalled.  "I am not suicidal!!  Or…I should like to THINK I'm not!"

"Here…" said Kagome as she swiped the Dippin' Dots away from Miroku.  "I'll test them to show you that they're not poisonous."

"But if you take a spoonful of mine and they turn out to not only be NOT poisonous but also very good, then I'll have less." Whined Miroku.

"That's a sacrifice that you'll have to take." Said Kagome.

"Um…you have to pay me." Said the salesman.

"SILENCE!!!" yelled Miroku as he was ABOUT the purge the guy but Kagome realized this and since she didn't want anymore death and destruction, she dove on top of him and knocked him to the ground.  "Lady Kagome!  Please!  I am a monk!"

"Yeah!" said Kagome, getting up.  "I thought so!  So why do you randomly kill people when they annoy you?"

"…I like it when people answer their own questions.  Because then I don't have to say anything."

"So how did I answer it?!"

"Because they annoy me."

"You're NOT supposed to kill people when they annoy you!!"

"Then why WOULD you kill people?" asked Miroku.

"Yeah, Kagome, why WOULD you kill people?" added Inu-Yasha.

"You're not supposed to kill ANYONE!!" Kagome tried to explain.

"But what if they got REALLY annoying?" asked Inu-Yasha.

"No!" Kagome yelled.

"What if they were trying to kill us?" Inu-Yasha asked.

"No…" said Kagome slowly.  "We REALLY shouldn't…"

"What if the offender had the person you loved hanging upside down over a pit of molten lava with a machete in one hand and a very large gun in the other hand.  Not only that but there was a magnifying glass angled at the sun and the ray of heat was pointed at the rope that was tying your loved one up.  What if the ONLY way to save the day was to KILL this person?  Would it be okay?" asked Miroku.

"No." said Kagome.  "I can say this because I know that this will NEVER happen."

"What if it does?" asked Miroku.  "If by slim chance it DOES happen?  Would it be okay to kill then?" 

"NO!!" Kagome yelled.  "NO killing!!"

"Are you guys going to pay or not?!" demanded the salesman.  Then the salesman grabbed Sango and Kagome and tied them up and hung them both upside down over a pit of molten lava.  He had a machete in one hand and a very large gun in the other.  There was a magnifying glass angled at the sun and the ray of heat was pointed at the ropes that held Sango and Kagome in place.  

"And Lady Kagome said that this would NEVER happen." Said Miroku.

"PAY ME OR THEY DIE!!" yelled Salesman as he cackled maniacally.  "The only way to get by me, IS TO KILL ME!!"

"WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR INU-YASHA?!" Kagome demanded.  "Do what you ALWAYS do, kill this guy and RESCUE ME!!"

"Now I'm just confused." Said Inu-Yasha.  "ARE YOU SURE?!"

"Yes!" Kagome yelled.   "Completely ignore everything I said and rescue me!"

"Fine, whatever." Said Inu-Yasha as he easily smote Salesman and saved Kagome and Sango from certain death.

"I knew you were going to eventually save us." Sango said casually to Inu-Yasha.  "That's why I didn't say anything."

"Kagome, does this mean that I ignore EVERYTHING you said?" asked Inu-Yasha as he turned to Kagome who was practically hyperventilating.  "Like the fact that everything is fake and things like that?"

"You know what I meant!!" Kagome HOLL-ered.

"Well now I don't know WHAT do believe." Inu-Yasha said, crossing his arms and seemingly TRYING to be annoying though that doesn't really happen often with him.  It can happen with him now though.  After all, he's out of character.  Everyone is!  YAY!!

"I'm sick of Maryland." Said Shippo as he ate more Dots.  "It's boring."

"But we haven't gone to any of the sites yet!" Kagome pointed out, trying to sound patient.  But then everyone starting simultaneously complaining to such an overwhelmingly large extent that Kagome decided not to bother since she didn't really care about US history either.  "All right, let's just get back to the car." Said Kagome.  They all turned around and the car was right there!  YAY!!

Then they drove about a foot and crossed over the Maryland border and entered… PENNSYLVANIA!!


	39. A Zoo in Pennsylvania and an Encounter W...

Then they drove about a foot and crossed over the Maryland border and entered…PENNSYLVANIA!!!

"So what kind of stupid, boring, and or torturous activity to you have planned for us in THIS state?" asked Inu-Yasha.

"She's probably going to make us stare at a bell or something." Said Miroku as if Kagome WASN'T sitting there even though she was but you knew that so I didn't have to say it but you knew that too.

Kagome cleared her throat and stuffed the brochure to the bell under the seat.  So she looked around for somewhere to go.

"Are we skipping through this state too?" asked Sango.

"No!" said Kagome.  Then she spotted a grand mall.  "We're going to a GRAND MALL!!"

"ZOO!!!" screamed Shippo as he pointed at a zoo that was across the street to the grand mall.

"No, the grand mall!!" Kagome argued.

"ZOO!!" yelled Shippo.

"GRAND MALL!!" Kagome yelled back.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" cried Shippo.  "I'LL NEVER GET AN OPPORTUNITY LIKE THIS AGAIN!!  YOU CAN GO TO A GRAND MALL WHENEVER YOU FEEL LIKE IT!!"

Since Kagome is a knave, this brought a tear to her eye and gave into Shippo.  She also gave into peer pressure since everyone else had started chanting 'zoo' because they didn't want to go to a mall even though they probably didn't know what a zoo OR a mall was!!  HAW HAW HAW!!

So Kagome pulled into the Zoo.  Everyone got out of the car and got tickets to get into the zoo.  Then they went in the zoo.  YAY!!

"What do we do in a zoo?" asked Miroku.

"We look at all the animals." Kagome answered.

"Look at the animals?!" Inu-Yasha said, appalled.  "If I wanted to do THAT then I could have just gone outside!!"

"No, these are EXOTIC animals!" Kagome said as she pointed the penguin pen place.

"DEAR GOD!!" yelled Miroku as he went right up to the edge and stared attentively at the penguins without blinking.  

"Don't tell me you've never seen a penguin before!" Kagome demanded.  "Don't they have the same animals in your world?!"

"Lady Kagome, I have not journeyed from my originating country." Explained Miroku.  "These unique creatures are obviously not from…I don't know!  Are these things even from this planet?!"

"They live in the North Pole." Said Kagome.

"Actually Kagome…" said Sango as she read the little description of the penguins.  "It says here that they are from the South Pole."

"What?!" Kagome shrieked.  She scanned the description up and down, whipped out a Sharpie, scribbled out 'south' and replaced it with 'north'.  "What do you know!  NORTH Pole!"

"Vandalism is against the law, Lady Kagome." Said Miroku.

"I'm sure it is." Said Kagome with a sigh.

"Don't worry, my friends." Said a familiar voice that was coming from over by the wolf display.  "I'll free you."

The voice might have sounded familiar to everyone EXCEPT Inu-Yasha.  To Inu-Yasha, the voice seemed just plain annoying.

"KOUGA, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU FOLLOWING US?!" Inu-Yasha demanded.

"Who said I was following YOU?!" Kouga yelled back.  "I simply SENSED that Kagome would be here and while I was here, I decided to free my comrades."

"You SENSED that Kagome would be here?" asked Inu-Yasha with a raised eyebrow.

"YES!!!" Kouga bellowed.  Inu-Yasha jumped on Kouga as if Kouga SENSING things offended him (which it most likely did) and they started fighting in a big cloud of dust and smoke.

"I sense another chapter where we will become background characters." Said Sango to Miroku.  (She didn't have to say it to Shippo because he's a background character this whole story.  Well…so is Sango but not as much.)

"Do you SENSE that Sango?" asked Miroku with a stupid grin.

"Yes!" said Sango.  The two of them chuckled warmly.

"I don't get it." Said Shippo as he scratched his head.

"It's FAR too inappropriate for you Shippo." Said Sango as Miroku nodded in the background while saying, 'mm-hm…'.

At this point, Kagome decided to butt in because, after all, this was ALL about HER!!  Though she kind of liked two guys fighting over her, she couldn't have them go harming each other.  Then again, some random zoo worker man could come along and force them to leave because they were fighting so she definitely had to stop them.

"STOP FIGHTING!!" she yelled at the top of her lungs.  Everyone in the entire zoo stopped and stared at her except for Kouga and Inu-Yasha who just keep on a-fighting.  So, after realizing that there was only ONE way, she approached the fight and was just about to yell, 'SIT!' when Inu-Yasha jumped out of the cloud of fighting and covered her mouth.

"Kagome, we have to settle this once and for all!" he explained.

"No!!" said Kagome.  "You guys are making a scene!!"

"But we have to do this!!" Inu-Yasha answered.

"Then go someplace else and do it!!" Kagome said angrily.  "_I _don't want to be kicked out of the zoo!"

"FINE!!" said Inu-Yasha as he turned back to Kouga who was biting his own leg ravenously.  "Wimpy wolf, we have to go someplace else to do this!"

Kouga looked up from his activity.  "When did you leave the fight?!" he demanded.

"I guess you're not as quick as you say!" Inu-Yasha teased.  Then the two of them pressed their faces up against each other and started growling and snarling as lightning bolts fired back and forth.

"Don't make me separate you two!!" Kagome threatened.

"We're GOING!!" said Inu-Yasha impatiently as the two of them leapt over some random fence and ran off in the other direction.  Kagome gave a sigh of relief.

"Lady Kagome, however are we going to find them again?" Miroku asked.

Kagome shrugged.  "I don't know!" she replied.  "And to be completely truthful, I don't really care either!  You guys want to look at the CAMELS?!"  Then she turned around and they all looked at the camels.

"They look like horses with hideous lumps on their backs." Sango observed.

"They ARE." Kagome replied as if that's what they were.

So they spent many a minute watching the camel…be a camel.  Camels are ugly.  I don't like them.

"Come on to the tiger pit!!" Kagome said excitedly as she dragged the three of them over to the tiger pit.  They looked at the tigers.  "Aren't they just AMAZING?!"

"Kagome, we've seen tigers before." Shippo said.

Kagome now felt stupid.  "Of course!!" she said.  "I just thought that maybe you'd want to see one in a cage so that you could make fun of it and it wouldn't attack you or something!"

"Ah," said Sango.  Then the four of them made fun of the tigers.  The tigers didn't even wake up.

"Where to next?" asked Miroku.

"I was thinking we could go and see the elephants!" said Kagome, looking at the sign that said 'elephants' with a little arrow and a picture of an elephant so no matter how incompetent you were, you'd know that that was the way to the elephants.

"I meant where to next as in which STATE are we going next." Miroku clarified.

Kagome's mouth dropped down to the floor.  "You mean you're not having fun at the zoo here in Pennsylvania?!" she demanded.

"I am," Sango piped up as she elbowed Miroku in the stomach even though it was true because she saw the devastated look on Kagome's face and wanted to make her feel better.  Miroku, on the other hand, was feeling self centered at the moment.  Either that or he's just incredibly oblivious and thought that Sango had accidentally elbowed him because he shook his head.

"Well I want to see the elephants!" Kagome declared.  She wanted to try being more assertive.

"Fine but after the elephants, can we leave?" Miroku asked as he followed after Kagome.  Sango leaned over to him.

"This entire trip, Kagome has tried to make this fun for us and you're ruining it." She whispered.  "Try and at least LOOK like you're having fun."

"I was at first." Miroku whispered back.  "It's just that I have a short attention span."

"You probably have A.D.D." Said Kagome.

"You heard us?!" Sango said dramatically.

"Yeah…" Kagome replied.

"So you know what I said?" asked Sango, bowing her head in shame.

"Yeah but I choose to ignore it because already knew that." Kagome said with a smile.  Then she gasped.  "THE ELEPHANTS!!!"  She ran over to the edge and watched the elephants lumber about and drop their thousand pound poopies.

"Wow…they're so BIG!!!!!!!!!!" said Shippo because he was trying to pretend as though he was having fun too.

"I know!" said Kagome as she marveled at them with sparkles in her eyes.

The three of them waited for Kagome to get sick of the elephants but she just keep sighing dreamily as she watched them.  Finally, even Sango couldn't help but join in on the clearing of the throats to get Kagome to wake up after they had waited for about seven minutes.  They secretly began to wish that Inu-Yasha was there because she would listen pretty much whatever HE had to say.

Shippo got SO bored that he just left.  Miroku and Sango were too busy trying to get Kagome's attention to even notice that Shippo had frolicked off at the sight of a guy dressed up as a big, friendly, fuzzy panda.  He latched himself like a leech onto the panda and nuzzled it as it strolled off.  The panda man didn't notice that Shippo was there since Shippo is so tiny and knavish.  Well, okay, so the knavish factor didn't figure in at all but he was tiny and weighed about five pounds at the most.  So the panda man's shift was finally over so he went to the bathroom and took his costume off.

"OH MY!!!" yelled Shippo dramatically because realizing that this panda was only a man in a costume is a horrible realization.  The panda man decided to disregard Shippo all together and go and get a hotdog because as far as he was concerned, if his shift was over then he didn't have to deal with kids anymore.

"You know…" said Kagome.  (We're back with them after all.  Shippo is pouring out his soul to the panda man but this is not classified as an angst story to me.  If it is to you then you have an AWFULLY warped sense of EVERYTHING.)  "The Philadelphia Zoo is quite the large zoo." 

"I've noticed." Said Sango with a sigh.

"And it's always been a GOAL of mine to see ALL the animals!" Kagome finished.  Sango and Miroku gasped dramatically.

"But WHY have a goal like that when you could set more CHALLENGING goals such as… oh I don't know… going to the next state for example!" said Miroku.

"I was thinking of doing that AFTER accomplishing THIS goal!" said Kagome.

"I don't know about that." Said Sango frantically.  "I mean, it's either one or the other Kagome!  BOTH of them is FAR too much to do!"

"Hm…" said Kagome.  "Then we'll have to spend more than one day here."

MEANWHILE!!

"Well…THIS IS YOU!!" said Inu-Yasha.  Then he stuck his tongue out and began walking around the room while making weird noises.

"If that's me, then this is YOU!!" Kouga said as he crossed his eyes and started hitting himself.  "I'm so stupid!  I'm so stupid!"

"I know you're stupid, Kouga." Said Inu-Yasha with a smug look on his face.

"NO!!" Kouga bellowed.  "I was YOU saying that YOU were stupid!"

"But that's impossible." Said Inu-Yasha.  "Cause I'm not stupid."

"Yeah you SO are!" Kouga demanded.  "You're so stupid that you got locked in a grocery store and STARVED to death!"

"I NEVER DID THAT!!" Inu-Yasha yelled.  "Well YOU'RE so stupid that you went into a library and asked what they sold there!"

"HA!" said Kouga.  "Shows how much YOU know!  They don't sell ANYTHING in libraries!"

"WHAT?!"

"Do you even know what a library is?" asked Kouga, looking all satisfied.

"YES!!!" Inu-Yasha yelled even though it wasn't true.  But that's okay.  He wasn't ABOUT to tell the TRUTH to KOUGA!!

MEANWHILE!!!

"PEACOCKS!!!" Kagome screeched as she ran over to the peacocks at lightning fast record-breaking time.  Everyone else (AKA Miroku and Sango) gave a heavy sigh and followed her.  Sure, it was fun the first four times they had seen the peacocks but why wasn't she getting sick of them?

"It's a lovely day to go to the zoo, don't you agree, younger siblings?" came a familiar male voice behind them.  They decided not to turn around because they assumed it was someone from the past, most likely bad, and most likely dead already.

"YAY!!" cheered a younger voice.  "The peacocks!!"

At this exact point in time, they all transformed into Curious George and became eager, curious little monkeys and turned around.  It just so happened that there was someone standing RIGHT THERE!!  IT WAS HITEN!!!

"Greetings!" said Hiten, all content-like.

Sango and Miroku looked at each other and then shrugged.

"What are YOU guys doing here?!" yelled Kagome, pointing at Hiten, Manten and the little one, Souten.

"I am simply taking my precious little sister and precious little brother to the zoo since they enjoy it ever so much." Hiten replied.  "Am I not entitled to be a good big brother?"

"Can't we go and look at the zebras?" asked Manten.

"SILENCE!!!" yelled Hiten.  "You do not look like me!!"  Then he grabbed Souten and pulled her into a hug and squeezed the life out of her but not really because he loves her.  "Unlike SOUTEN here!  You are simply my precious little brother but you are most certainly not beautiful!  And besides…you are bald."  Then he dropped Souten on her arse and started prancing about while trying to swash his hair as much as possible.  "Look how much WONDERFUL hair I have!"

"YEAH!!" said Souten as she started dancing around too.  But then Hiten stepped on her.

"No, dear little sister!" he yelled.  "It is okay for ME but I do not want you to start any bad habits!  I mean…look how SAD you made Manten!"  Then he went over to Manten and cradled him like a baby as Manten just cried and whined pathetically as if Souten had REALLY done anything and Hiten was being the good guy.

"So um…do you guys plan on going to the zebras?" asked Kagome as she tried to shoo Miroku and Sango off in the opposite direction of the zebras.  They didn't really care.  They didn't know any of these people.  YAY!!

"WAIT!!!" called Hiten as he stretched his arm out and reached for them dramatically.  "My darling kid sister wants to know where that child fox demon that you call 'Shippo' is!"  Then he frolicked over to Kagome and started nudging her.  "Just between you and me," he whispered.  "I think my adorable little Souten has a crush on your mangy little Shippo!"

"Um…swell?" tried Kagome.

"Isn't it ironic, though?" Hiten laughed, no longer whispering.  "That WE, her brothers, killed his father?!"  Then he started chuckling warmly and pretty soon, Manten and Souten joined in because they wanted to be just like him since he's so cool.

Suddenly, Hiten cleared his throat and Manten and Souten immediately stopped.  "So where is the little rodent?" he asked.

"Um…" Kagome said, looking around.  "I don't really know."

"He went off chasing some psychopathic looking panda." Miroku replied since he saw Shippo do it but chose to say nothing about it until asked about it.  That would just be extra work.

"But I drew a picture of Shippo!" said Souten as her eyes started watering and she showed everyone her picture of Shippo being all old and stuff.

"You're making my endearing little sister cry!!" Hiten gasped.  "You know, neither of them have cried all day and within a time span of two minutes they both start.  You three are really big bullies."

"What do you mean…?" started Kagome.

"I don't want to hear any explanations!!" Hiten declared, grabbing both of his siblings and sticking them each under one arm.  "Lovable Manten…you're a bit heavier than wee Souten…" He pondered for a moment.  "Aha!  Switch places with me.  You are much larger than I am."

"YAY!!" said Manten as he picked up Hiten and put him under his arm and put Souten under the other.  Then he strut off with his nose high in the air.

"WAIT!!" yelled Hiten.  "When did I tell you to LEAVE?!  I was still talking to them!!"

"I'm sorry my wonderful big brother…" said Manten slowly.

"Now bring me back over there!!" yelled Hiten.  "NOW!!!"  Manten sniffled a little bit and then shuffled back over to where Kagome, Miroku and Sango were.  But alas, the trio WASN'T there!!  They looked off in the distance to see Kagome hurrying off with Miroku and Sango under each arm just like the Thunder… SIBLINGS were doing!!

"They're copying us!" whined Souten.

"THEY'RE GETTING AWAY!!!" HOLL-ered Hiten.  "AFTER THEM!!"  Then Manten started huffing and puffing and chasing after Kagome.  But they weren't gaining any ground any time fast.  "Manten, this is just counter productive.  Put me down before I am forced to smite you but I won't because you are my one and only enchanting baby brother, Manten."

"You are SO forgiving, older brother!" said Manten as he put Hiten and Souten down.

Hiten bent down to his little wheely shoe thingys and pressed the 'on' button.  

Manten made a little ridable cloud for him to ride on and since Souten has no mode of transportation that we know about and her little dragon friend is not present or accounted for, she rode on with her older brother, but not OLDEST and not NEARLY as attractive brother, Manten.

Kagome looked behind her to see Hiten, in particular, closing in on her rather rapidly.

"OH MY GOD!!" she yelled as she tried to pick up the pace.

"Lady Kagome, I believe I can run on my own." Said Miroku.  "Enjoyable as it is, if we are trying to escape I presume it would be faster if I ran on my own."

"Um…" said Kagome as she put Miroku and Sango down.  "I suppose you have a bit of a point…"

"MY SWORD SHALL CUT THROUGH THIS ROCK AND FIND HIS HEART AND DESTROY HIM!!" Hiten yelled as he closed in on the little group of three.

"Should we kill him or does he hold some sort of bondish memory?" asked Sango as she turned to Kagome.  "Because I don't know who ANY of them are."

"It's kind of hard because even though he's a psychopath, he's got a cute little sister to watch out for.  Besides, we would make a scene if we killed him."

"And he's NOT making a scene?!" Sango demanded.

"Um…well…" said Kagome as she tried to think up excuses.  "He's rather powerful and I don't know how to go up against him without Inu-Yasha or any of your weapons."

"I'm still here." Said Miroku.  "It won't be TOO hard.  I mean, perhaps if I were to twist my arm in some weird way while I was pulling the rosary off, I could possibly get a serious injury but it's doubtful."

"SILENCE!!" Kagome yelled.  "How clear must I make it?!  DON'T kill him!!"

"I'm not stupid, Lady Kagome." Said Miroku.  "If you tell me not to do something I won't do it.  No use using ambiguous hints and second guesses."

"Why aren't you guys running anymore?" asked Hiten as he hovered in front of the three of them.  

"Um…" said Kagome because she hadn't even noticed that she had stopped.  "Because we want to…uh…help you find Shippo…"

"YAY!!" cheered Souten happily as she took out the picture she drew of Shippo and kissed it.

"You better be telling the truth." Said Hiten in a threatening voice.  "Because if I have to see my endearing little sister cry for a second time today, then I will not be a happy elder brother."

"I'm telling the truth!" Kagome insisted.

"GOOD!!" said Hiten as he suddenly got horseshoe eyes.

"YAY!!" Souten cheered again as she hugged Manten because he was the closest thing to her.

"I'm so happy!" cheered Manten knavishly.  "I'm so glad you're my older brother!"

"I know, sweet little brother." Said Hiten pompously.  "Maybe someday, you'll be like me.  Only, of course, a whole lot less attractive."

"I HAVE A DREAM!!" Manten screamed.

So Kagome started walking around and everyone walked behind her.  Except for Hiten, of course, because he HAD to be Princess Atta and just float around on his little shoes since he had just remembered that he had them so he had to use them!

At this point, they reached a fork in the zoo.  "We have to split up." Said Kagome.  "The three of you can go one way and the three of us will go this way."  Then she linked arms with Miroku and Sango and was just about to start skipping when Hiten suddenly flew in front of her.

"Hey…what do you think we are?!  STUPID?!" he demanded.  "Two people will go down this road, two people will go this way and the remaining two people will go down the way that we didn't notice earlier.  Is that okay with everyone?"

"YES!!" said Manten and Souten.

"Um…do we have a choice?" asked Sango since she hasn't really said anything quite yet.

"NO!!" yelled Hiten as he held up his little weapon thingy that he had also just remembered he had.  Then he turned to Manten and Souten.  "Charming younger siblings, you must split up with your elder brother as to ensure the fact that these mortals aren't fooling yours truly."

"Why would they do such a thing?!" said Manten since he has no will of his own.

THEN THEY SPLIT UP!!  HURRAH!!

Of course, for some people, this was rather reluctant.  Like Kagome for example!  She wasn't too keen on splitting up, let alone getting stuck with the ill-tempered Hiten who was constantly showing off his wallet with pictures of Manten and Souten in it as well as various awards and then occasionally threatening her life and continuously flying around on his wheel things and NOT OFFERING HER A RIDE!!!

"And last Halloween we dressed up as the Lolly Pop Guild!!" said Hiten as he pulled out a picture and started laughing hysterically.  "I was the one with the lolly pop of course!!"  Then he noticed that Kagome wasn't laughing so he glared evilly at her and threatened her life so she started laughing and he seemed satisfied so he showed the picture of the Halloween the year before when they were the Lullaby League since, after all, Souten's a girl and all.  This one kind of made Kagome chuckle warmly even WITHOUT threats to her life.

MEANWHILE!!!

Manten was also showing pictures off to Sango.  But his wallet consisted mainly of pictures of Hiten with no money.  It was one of those cheap plastic wallets that you get when you buy a toy or something but he loved it just the same because Hiten had bought it for him and anything that passes from Hiten's loving hands to Manten's undeserving hands is automatically god-like and should be worshipped like Hiten.

"And this is Hiten." Said Manten.  "And so is this!  This is also Hiten.  This Hiten…AND ME!!  He dared to be caught in the same camera shot as my hideous face.  Obviously someone else had to take the picture because I usually take all of these pictures of Hiten.  Like this one!  I took this picture of Hiten.  Doesn't it look great?  Especially since Hiten is in it."

Sango had a tear in her eye by this time because she was thinking of HER poor little brother.  So she pulled out her purse and then showed a mass of pictures to Manten.  "Well…this is Kohaku." She stated.  "He is a much better brother than your brother could ever hope to be."

"HOW DARE YOU INSULT HITEN?!" yelled Manten as he started accumulating that giant ball o energy in his mouth and was just about to spit it at her when he decided not to.  "And this is Hiten and so is this…" he continued as he showed Sango some more pictures and she didn't protest because she was now a little afraid of Manten.

MEANWHILE!!!

"LA LA LA LA LA LA!!" sang Souten as she frolicked down the path next to Miroku who was only kind of strutting nonchalantly.

"Dum dee dum…" said Miroku obliviously to himself.  "Tigers…leopards… elephants…penguins…oh.  PENGUINS!  Lady Souten, would it be too much to ask if we were to make our way over to the penguin sanctuary for a short while?"

"I love penguins!!" Souten cheered.  "And I haven't gotten a chance to look at them yet!!"

"RAPTURE!" Miroku said as the two of the skipped over to the penguin cage.  "Look at how freakish they are!!"

"YAY!!" Souten said.  "They are so deformed!"

"Lady Souten, how old are you?" asked Miroku.

"I don't know." Answered Souten.  "Younger than seven?"

"Very well." Said Miroku with a sigh.  "Will you bear my child on some FUTURE date?"

"Okay!" said Souten with horseshoe eyes.

So then the two of them stared attentively at the penguins for a little while until Souten got bored and started drawing a picture.

MEANWHILE!!

"I know you are but what am I?!" Inu-Yasha said with his hands on his hips.

"Yo mama!" Kouga retorted.

"Don't you talk about my mama!" Inu-Yasha said wit' attitude.

"Yo mama was a HUMAN!" Kouga said with a smirk.  Inu-Yasha wasn't offended because…well…it was true.  She WAS a human.

"Well yo mama wears ARMY BOOTS!!" Inu-Yasha yelled as if that meant anything to him or to ANYONE for that matter.

"SHE DOES NOT!!" Kouga bellowed.  "YOU TAKE THAT BACK, YOU LOWLY HANYOU!!"

"Why must EVERYONE call me a lowly Hanyou?" asked Inu-Yasha.

"Because you are.  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru as he rode by on one of those old fashioned bikes with the big front tire and the little back tire.  Then he tipped his bowler derby, stroked his puff as well as the monkey on his shoulder and rode off into the sunset.  (Which actually wasn't there but he likes to pretend that it is.)

"What he said!" said Kouga with stupid little laugh.

"Well…" said Inu-Yasha.  "I hate him!  And I hate YOU!"

"HEY!!" Kouga yelled.  "Well I HATE YOU TOO!!"

"You better take that back Kouga or so help me, I'll…I'll!!"

MEANWHILE!!

"Lur." Said Shippo as he played the Shippo game while wearing the panda outfit.  He had scared off the guy with his hideous tail and was now frolicking around looking for his compadres!

"SHIPPO!!" came Kagome's voice.  Shippo turned around to see Kagome and Hiten walking along while looking for HIM!!  Well, Hiten wasn't walking…but he was hovering so close to the ground that one wouldn't be able to tell.

As soon as Shippo saw Hiten, a surge of uncontrollable rage boiled through his veins.  Shippo couldn't handle the immense power churning in the very bosom of his soul so he died.  And this is for real.

"OH DE-A!!" Kagome yelled as she slapped Hiten and ran over to caress Shippo's tiny corpse.

"That…is the SECOND time I'm ever been struck!" Hiten said.  Then he took out his journal and made an entry about it.  Then he decided to disregard that completely and erase it from his journal, pretending as though it never happened.  He didn't need to tell anyone about it because, after all, Kagome wasn't really paying attention and he wanted a more glorious second hit.

So then he frolicked over.  But he couldn't really frolic because he had little wheels on his feet so he was flying.  Unless, of course, he was frolicking in the air but that would mean that he would have to go higher.  Okay, he took OFF his little flying shoes and frolicked and then put them back on afterwards and hovered over Kagome as she held Shippo's lifeless little body in her arms while crying and saying 'I love you' and then a single tear dropped from her eye and landed on Shippo's face, automatically bringing him to life again.

"You…came back…" said Shippo.

"Of course I came back." Said Hiten, automatically thinking that everyone HAD to be talking to him.

"Not YOU, fool!!" yelled Shippo.

"SILENCE!!!" yelled Hiten as he smooshed Shippo's face.  "MANTEN!!  GET OVER HE-A!!"  Then Manten raced around the corner.  "Walk around wearing Shippo's father around your waist for a little while."

"Okay!" said Manten as he started modeling Shippo's father.

"SOUTEN!!!" Hiten bellowed.  Souten came around the OTHER corner within seconds like a bellhop on call.  "We found your little friend.  Are you happy?"

"Oh." Said Souten, looking at Shippo.  "I was already happy!  I found a NEW best friend!!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" yelled Shippo as he melted into a pile of goo.  But then Kagome cried on him again so he came back to life.  Again.

"Oh-ho?" said Hiten.  "And who is this new best friend of yours?  Well… second best friend…after me of course…"

"Of course!!" said Souten.  "I meant BESIDES you when I said best friend."

"Of course!" said Hiten.

"OF COURSE!!" said Hiten, Souten AND Manten.

"SILENCE MANTEN, YOU ARE NOT BEAUTIFUL!!" yelled Hiten but then he grabbed Manten and gave him a hug.  "But I still love you."

We forgot to tell you that Sango and Miroku had come around the corner with their appointed Thunder Sibling.  So now they're there!  HURRAH!!

"This is my new second best friend!" said Souten as she hugged Miroku's knees.

"This…GUY?" said Hiten as if he didn't approve.

"He's a hosh." Said Souten.  "From OUR time."

"Ah…" said Hiten.  "Oh…nice…how swell…" But then he paused.  "Wait… was I talking to someone?  Sorry…I started thinking about me…what were you saying, Souten, dear?"

"This is my new second best friend!!" Souten repeated.

"Oh!" said Hiten as he patted Miroku on the shoulder.  "Wait…he's no DEMON!!  He's just some GUY!!  In the ZOO!!"

"He's a HOSH!!!!" yelled Souten.

"Don't you DARE raise your voice to me, Souten Thunder Sibling!!" Hiten scolded, shaking his finger in her face.  "You should know better!!  Do you have any idea what that could have done to my EARS?!"

"I'm sorry, wonderful, amazing, intelligent, beautiful elder brother!!" said Souten as she started bowing to Hiten.  Everyone else got retarded little drops except for Manten who started bowing as well.  He's not worthy.  He's not beautiful like Hiten.  P.*(

"Let's leave the zoo…" started Kagome.

"But I want to play with my best friend forever!!!" yelled Souten as she held up a picture of Miroku that she had drawn when no one was looking.  Then she started sniffling when Kagome didn't show any sign of remorse.

"It's okay, marvelous Souten, you can play with me!" said Hiten as he knelt down next to her and got horseshoe eyes and put his arm around her and other friendly brotherly things like that.

"But I wanna play with…my FRIEND!!" said Souten.

"SILENCE!!" yelled Hiten, holding up his weapon as thunder crashed from the heavens.  "YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL BUT STILL HAVE A LOT TO LEARN!!!  YOU MUST PLAY WITH _ME _AND YOU SHALL LOVE IT JUST LIKE I LOVE YOU SO!!!"  He turned to Manten.  "Just ask your elder but my younger brother Manten.  He knows where I'm coming from."

"Can I just play for a MINUTE?" requested Souten.

Hiten sighed.  "How can I say no to that beautiful face?" he said.  "If you were Manten, I would say no because he is far less beautiful than you are.  But because you are so beautiful, I must say yes."

"YAY!!" cheered Souten.

"You're so lucky!" said Manten as if what Hiten just said didn't bother him.  It probably doesn't.  He's probably immune to it by now.

Souten turned around only to see that everyone had left.  "THEY'RE GONE!!" she cried.

"WHAT?!" yelled Hiten.  But then he stopped.  "It's okay.  I'll let you have a ride on my wheely shoes!"

"YAY!!" said Souten happily as she jumped onto Hiten's shoulder.

Hiten looked at Manten.  "I would take you, younger brother." He explained.  "But you are far larger and heavier than I am and I fear I cannot carry your immense weight.  I wouldn't want to drop my ONLY brother!  Now that would just crush me!!"

"It's okay, I'll just ride next to you on this mass of clouds!!" said Manten as he hopped on some clouds.

"I'm surprised that the CLOUDS can hold your immense weight!" chuckled Hiten.  Manten and Souten joined in as the three of them flew off into the night sky even though it's not really night.

Meanwhile, with the much more significant people in the plot…

"We must find Inu-Yasha!" said Sango since she hasn't said anything in quite a while.  Neither has Miroku.

"YAY!!" said Miroku.

"YAY!!" said Shippo.  Now they've all said something.

"I have an idea!" said Kagome, puffing out her chest and putting her finger up in the air while shaking around wildly as if there was an earthquake.  Then the screen faded and they were suddenly driving with Inu-Yasha AND everyone else in the car on their way to DELAWARE!!  It's Dela-WHERE you wanna be!!


	40. Delaware, a Vicious Kouga and an Explosi...

Then they entered Delaware!!

And with that, Inu-Yasha woke up from being unconscious JUST because they entered Delaware!!  (By the way, he WAS unconscious.  You'll know why in a minute so stop crying.)

"Did I win?!" he asked, looking around.

"No, it was another tie." Miroku replied.  "Lady Kagome ran up and said 'Sit' and then Sango and I beat the crap out of you and while Kouga was staring at us in a stupefied state, I threw some demon wards at him and then we beat the crap out of him too and then we easily disposed of him and hoisted you over our heads and tossed you into the car!"

"It was hard work." Said Kagome, wiping her forehead.

"You did NOTHING!!!" yelled someone.

"YES I DID!!" Kagome yelled back.  "I said the word!!  It was so hard!!"

"So where did you dispose of Kouga?" asked Inu-Yasha.  "I hope that when he wakes up, he'll be unhappy and uncomfortable wherever he is."

"Yeah…" said Miroku, nodding his head.  "And confused…and alone…"

"Miroku…where do you put him?" asked Shippo since he hasn't said anything for a while.

"In the trunk." Miroku replied.

"WHY?!" yelled everyone.

"It seemed like a good idea at the time." He said with a shrug.

"Well, let's just find a good spot in Delaware and drop him off." Said Kagome.

"I assume that since you said 'in Delaware' that this means that the this is the only thing we're going to be doing 'in Delaware'." Deducted Sango.  "Am I right?  I am, aren't I?"

"Yes." Said Kagome, her head hung low.  But then she raised her head just in time to miss an orphan in a wheelchair who was j walking.  Actually…he was j wheeling…

Then they approached some barren dessert…in Delaware…and parked next to it.  They all jumped out and Inu-Yasha started digging a hole.

"Hey…he IS in the trunk." Kagome observed, opening the trunk and Kouga was…THERE.

"There, this is about six feet." Said Inu-Yasha as he climbed out of the hole since he makes holes really fast.

"Inu-Yasha, he's not DEAD!!" Kagome yelled.

"Sure he is!" said Inu-Yasha.

"No he isn't!"

"Yes he is!"

"No he isn't!"

"Yes he is!"

And they continued bickering in the background just as Kouga started sitting up looking all discombobulated.  "Actually, I think he's very much so alive." Miroku observed.

"How dare you do this to I, Kouga!!" Kouga yelled once he realized that he was in a trunk.

"That's improper grammar." Said Sango.  "Would you really say, 'How dare you do this to I'?"

"YES!!" yelled Kouga.  "I WOULD!!"

"Well in that case, I wish you WERE dead." Said Miroku, scoffing like fox.  Sango and Shippo joined in on the scoffing and turning their backs to Kouga and he felt as though he had no friends so he started getting sad and his minions weren't there to cheer him up.  And then, Kagome and Inu-Yasha noticed that Kouga had waken up so they stopped arguing and walked over to him.

"I guess I am kind of happy that he's not dead, because then _I _can kill him." Inu-Yasha said with a nod.

"IN YOUR DREAMS!!!" yelled Kouga, turning red.  "I would turn into a Super Saiyan right now if I were on Dragon Ball Z because I am so angry!!"

"…Okay…" said Inu-Yasha hesitantly.  Maybe Kouga had taken one too many blows to the head with a volleyball.

"Shall we commence in smiting him?" asked Miroku.  "Or…must we let him live for one reason or another?"

"Yeah…" said Kagome.  "We HAVE to let him live."

"Okay!" said everyone cheerfully as they jumped back into the car and were just about to drive away when Kouga grabbed the bumper to the car and heaved it off the cliff that was on the OTHER side of the road.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" screamed everyone as they plummeted down a quite intense ravine.  Then they took a breath and started the screaming again.  "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

"MWA HA HA HA HA HA!!!" laughed Kouga maniacally.  

Suddenly, Mohawk Minion came up and tapped Kouga on the shoulder.

"Not to defy you or anything Your Kouganess…" said Mohawk Minion.  "But wasn't Kagome in that car?"

"Uh…" said Kouga as he thought to himself for a nano.  Then he beat up Mohawk Minion for not telling him BEFORE he had heaved her to her doom.

Kouga revved up his super speed legs as motor noises played in the background and then he ran down the side of the cliff to where the car was still plunging.  He jumped onto the car and squatted on the hood in front of Kagome.

"Kagome, I apologize for putting you in this situation." Said Kouga.  "I should have never blindly tossed you off the edge of this chasm.  Will you ever forgive me?"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" yelled Kagome since she was still in peril.

 "I see." Said Kouga as he bowed his head in shame.  Then he grabbed Kagome and leapt out of the car.  "Now you are safe!"

"KOUGA!!" Kagome screamed.  "There are innocent women and children… and Miroku still in there!"

"AHA!!" Kouga said.  "So you DON'T care about Dogface!" 

"I just assumed he could get out by himself and be okay." Said Kagome.  "Besides…YOU would never rescue HIM."

"True." Said Kouga.  "You are so wise!  That is why you're my woman!"

"SO SAVE THEM!!" Kagome HOLL-ered.

"NEVER!!" Kouga bellowed.

Suddenly the car hit the ground and exploded with a big mushroom cloud explosion.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Kagome yelled as she watched bits and pieces of the car fly around.  Shippo's little bow fluttered down and landed in her hands.  "This…was Shippo's BOW!!" 

Then Kagome burst into tears.

"Don't cry Kagome." Said Kouga.  "You're all right!"

To enhance the effect, blood and miscellaneous body part were scattered around variously.

**Note**: This is getting a bit too gory.  We will take you to a nice relaxing scene of Inu-Yasha and Miroku playing a pleasant board game in a small room.

"King Me." Said Miroku as he moved his checker to the end.

"AW MAN!!!" Inu-Yasha yelled as he put a second checker on top of Miroku's checker that was now at his end of the board being crowned king.

Suddenly, Miroku stood up and walked out of the room RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE GAME!!  Inu-Yasha didn't know why but he presumed that Miroku was getting a drink or going to the bathroom or something to that extent so he waited for a minute or two.  Finally, he got fed up with waiting and went on a search for Miroku only to find him in ANOTHER box-like room playing CHESS with SANGO!!  THE NERVE!!

"You realize of course that you left in the middle of us doing something without even saying anything about it." Said Inu-Yasha in a quite annoyed tone.

"So I did." Said Miroku with a laugh that only ANNOYED Inu-Yasha even more.

"Well…" said Inu-Yasha.  "Why?"

"I don't know." Said Miroku.  "BUT YOU'VE DONE IT TO ME SO MANY TIMES THAT IT'S ONLY FAIR!!"

"What?" asked Inu-Yasha.

"Remember that time when I was saying something very important and you left and said that you'd be right back and then I found you DOING SOMETHING ELSE?!"

Inu-Yasha got angry and stormed out of the room and into the room that Shippo occupied.  He growled at Shippo and chased him out of the room and then commenced in playing checkers by himself except the black pieces that Miroku played with all represented Miroku and all the red pieces were Inu-Yasha.  Inu-Yasha expressed his anger and discontentment by having the Inu-Yasha pieces slam the Miroku pieces a few times.  He also DETHRONED all of the kinged Miroku pieces and made ALL of the Inu-Yasha pieces royalty!!  MWA!!!

BACK TO THE STORY!!

Once the smoke and fire cleared, Kagome and Kouga (quite reluctantly) began searching among the wreckage for any sign of life or salvageable items.

"Look Kagome!" said Kouga as he held up an arm.  "This might be dogface's!  It looks like a male's arm!"

"INU-YASHA!!" Kagome cried as she ran over to the arm and hugged it.  "Why did this have to happen?!"

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Kirara flew down in front of Kagome.  On top of Kirara's back was MIROKU, SANGO, SHIPPO AND INU-YASHA!!  YAY!!!

"But…how…?  What?" stuttered Kagome as she held up the arm.

"Kirara came at the LAST second and saved us all JUST IN TIME!!" said Shippo with an excited voice.  

"We must have landed on some group of people…" said Sango as she noted the arm in Kagome's hand.  "Or something…"

"We must give them proper burials." Said Miroku as he immediately noticed his staff among the clutter and held it in the MONKISH way.  Then he did the one handed pray.

"This state is just getting annoying." Said Kagome.  She was still a little shaken up.  "Let's leave."

"NO!!" Miroku yelled.  "We mustn't until all these people are put to rest properly!"

"Leave them alone Miroku, they're fine!" said Inu-Yasha as he looked around for the car.  "HEY!!  WHERE'S THE HIDEOUS GREEN CONVERTIBLE?!"

"Right there." Said Sango as she pointed to what used to be the car.

"Now we HAVE to give them burials." Said Miroku.

"No." said Kagome.  "We have to get a new car."

"I JUST WANT TO GIVE THEM BURIALS!!" Miroku yelled.  "IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?!  I AM A MONK!!  I **MUST** DO THIS OR I WILL BE UNFULFILLED!!"

Then Miroku picked up a leg and started collecting body parts in the background while everyone else did more important things.

Suddenly, Sessho-Maru rode by in a safari jeep.

"Hey guys!  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru.  "What's up?  Sessho."

Everyone exchanged sinister glances, attacked Sessho-Maru and tied him to a cactus naked.  They then climbed into the jeep and left him behind.

"Sessho…" Sessho-Maru whined as he feared for the well being of his male genitalia.

Meanwhile in the jeep…

Everyone was laughing heartily at a job well done.

"I wish we had one of your camera thingys, Kagome!" said Inu-Yasha as he wiped the tears from his eyes.

"Stuuupid Sessho-Maru!" said Shippo.

"HAHAHAHAHA!!" laughed Kagome.

"Um…guys?" Sango said slowly.

"Sango, we're chuckling right now." Said Kagome.  "Now either chuckle with us or keep quiet like you always do."

"YEAH!!" said Kouga.

"Listen to Kouga!" said Kagome.  Then she paused.

"KOUGA?!  WHY ARE YOU HERE?!" demanded Inu-Yasha.

"That's what I was trying to tell you!" said Sango.

"No matter." Said Kouga.  "I simply came along because there was a empty seat in your car and I didn't want to be left behind in DELAWARE."

"Don't be silly Kouga!" laughed Kagome.  "There are five seats in this jeep and there are FIVE people in our party so why would there be an empty seat?"

MEANWHILE!!

"Tra la la…" sang Miroku obliviously to himself as tried to match the stray limbs to their respected bodies.  "Can't have someone buried without their arm now can we?"  Then he laughed heartily.

"Help…Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru.

"Shhh!" Miroku said with a serious face.  "You're disturbing the dead!"

MEANWHILE!!

"So I figured that since the monk INSISTED on staying, then I could take his place in your team!" said Kouga.  "While you were all stripping Sessho-Maru down, I jumped in the car and didn't say anything.  Besides, aren't I MUCH more helpful anyway?  I mysteriously know my way around and I could care less about random groups of dead people!"

"But you're KOUGA!" said Inu-Yasha.

"I know that." Said Kouga as he glared at Inu-Yasha.

"GRRRR!!" growled Inu-Yasha and Kouga as they growled ravenously at each other.

Suddenly, Kagome noticed a sign that said, 'You're in NEW JERSEY now!!'


	41. New Jersey, "Spirit" and a Lost Monk

"Miroku's going to be upset that he missed out on New Jersey." Said Kagome with a sigh.

"You're just LEAVING him there?!" Sango demanded.

"For now." Said Kagome with a nod.  "He can take care of himself.  Besides, if we went to get him now, we'd have to wait until he matched up every single person with EVERY single one of their body parts.  Who knows what Miroku would do if he buried a person without their left big toe!  That could take FOREVER and I don't feel like waiting.  We could just take a plane and pick him up later.  Also, less Miroku makes for a more silent trip."

Suddenly, Sango jumped out of the jeep and Kagome screeched to a halt.

"Sango, are you going after him?!" Kagome demanded.

"Of course." Said Sango.  "Who knows what that lecherous hosh will do to girls without someone there to kick him line!"

Then she ran off.

Kagome chuckled knavishly.

"SHE IS **SO** IN LOVE WITH HIM!!!" she shrieked.

"Kagome, you are so clueless." Said Inu-Yasha.  "She just wants to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid.  Or maybe she just wants to hit him."

"HOW DARE YOU CALL KAGOME CLUELESS!!" Kouga yelled.

"You're still here?!" Inu-Yasha yelled.

"I don't think I'll be able to stand being in a small enclosed area with only YOU two!" said Kagome with a groan.  

"I'M here Kagome!" said Shippo with a whine.

"Oh." Said Kagome.  "I forgot."

"We could just pretend they're NOT here." Said Shippo.  "What do you want to do in New Jersey?"

"Um…I had a long list but since Miroku and Sango aren't here… I don't quite know what to do." Said Kagome.  Suddenly, she passed a movie theater.  "LET'S GO SEE SPIRIT!!"

"YAY!!" cheered Shippo.  

"Maybe by then, Miroku will be done and we can pick him up!!"

"YAY!!" Shippo cheered again.

So Kagome pulled into the movie theater and went in to buy their tickets but SPIRIT WAS SOLD OUT!!!

Inu-Yasha and Kouga began looking around at the posters.

"Balto 2…" read Kouga out loud.  "The story of a half dog, half wolf hybrid creature…"

He stopped suddenly and stared at Inu-Yasha.  

"Why would a WOLF breed with a DOG?!" Kouga demanded.

(Note: Do NOT, under ANY circumstances watch Balto 2!!  It is HORRIBLE and you will long for the hour and half that you wasted of your life while watching it!!  Please, spare yourselves the grief.)

"THIS WOULD BE PERFECT FOR YOU GUYS!!" Kagome screeched as she leapt in front of the two of them.  Then, without even asking them if they agreed, she bought the tickets and dragged them into the theater.  Little did they know the HORROR that would soon befall them!!!

MEANWHILE!!

"I can't feel my manhood anymore!!  Sessho." Whined Sessho-Maru.

Miroku shuddered.  "If I hear ONE more thing about the cactus spines or your 'lower regions', I will come over there and thusly smite you!" he threatened.  Then he looked around.  "Say…where is everyone anyway?"

He stood up from his own version of doing a jigsaw puzzle and paused.  "That's funny…I surely don't remember everyone telling me that they had to go to the bathroom at the very same time…" he pondered to himself.  Then he shrugged and decided not to give it a second since he trusts his very best friends in the entire world.  In fact…they're his ONLY friends!  After all, he grew up a small child without a father, being raised by a drunken stepparent and no one would ever care enough to get to know a young hosh.

Miroku decided to stop revisiting lost memories.  There was a REASON they were lost in the FIRST place!  HAW HAW HAW!!

Perhaps they hadn't abandoned him…perhaps…THEY WERE IN TROUBLE!!!  Miroku reached out his hand in attempt to seize his magical staff only to realize that it wasn't there a second later and then he slapped himself on the forehead and just remembered that his staff was in the trunk!  THEN HE CHUCKLED.

But he soon stopped chuckling when he remembered that everyone was in grave peril.  "Sessho-Maru!" he yelled.  "We must join forces and help everyone!!  Now put some pants on and lets go!!"

"Then untie me from this cactus!  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru.

"NEVER!!!" yelled Miroku.  "That's not part of the plan!!"

"Then how can I help you?!  Sessho."

"You can tell me what you did to them all, you bastard!  I knew you were plotting something from the beginning!  You're stupid 'Sessho' act never fooled me for a minute!  Sure, you had everyone else going but I was sensing bad vibes from you, Sessho-Maru."

"What are you talking about?  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru.  "I'm just trying to make an honest living!!  Sessho."

"Answer me or I shall push you harder against the cactus!!" yelled Miroku.

"NO!!  NOT THAT!!  Sessho."

"THEN TELL ME!!"

"Fine…I'll tell you…Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru as he started concocting up some lies that would possibly get him out of trouble.  "There's an…um…bear.  Across the bridge…over there…and then…you swing on a vine…and…um…in a cave…that's where they are.  Sessho."

"That's better!" said Miroku.  "Now wait here!  I'm not quite through with you yet!  I'll take care of you once I get back!  Sessho."  He paused.  "...Maru… ARGH!!  Now you've got ME doing it!!"

"Doing what?  Sessho."

"SILENCE!!!" yelled Miroku as he ran off in the direction that he assumed the bear and the bridge and the vine and the cave was.

Sessho-Maru was left there to whimper and whine.  About five seconds later, Sango came around the corner.  

"HOSH SAMA!!" she called, sounding rather obnoxious.

"I'll tell you which way he went…Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru.  "If you untie me.  Sessho."

"Um…okay…" said Sango since she didn't really want to look at him anymore.  So she untied him and shielded her eyes as he clothed himself properly and brushed his hair and applied his puff.  "So where did he go?"

"Who?  Sessho." Asked Sessho-Maru.

"Hosh sama." Sango answered, sounding annoyed.

"Oh yes.  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a handful of fairy dust.  He threw it into the air and it sparkled and glistened in the sun so very beautifully as images of Miroku tromping through a forest was shown.  "First you must cross the bridge…then swing on a vine…then enter a cave and then fight a bear and then you shall find him…Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru, speaking through a rolled up newspaper so he could make his voice all echoey and eerie.

"Um…"

"Here, let me make it easier for you and transport you there.  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru as he tossed some of his fairy dust at Sango and did the Hokey Pokey since that's what it's all about and then Sango shimmered and finally just disappeared in a flash!  She reappeared in a place with a large vegetation thingy.  She looked around for a moment and then shrugged just as Miroku made his way around the corner since there are corners in jungles.

"Sango!" he yelled, running over to her.  "You escaped!  Hurry, lead me to the others!"

"Um…" said Sango since she is saying that a lot.

MEANWHILE!!!

By this time, Kagome, Inu-Yasha, Kouga and someone else were in the movie theater.  They were all munching their popcorn and sitting in the front row being reasonably good and well behaved.  Kagome was thinking that at that very second and wondering why they were being so quiet and not leaping forward to destroy the movie screen.

"This movie is really bad, Kagome." Said Inu-Yasha very suddenly.  He said it so very loud so that everyone could hear him.  "There is no way that a dog would breed with a wolf."

"There is also no way that that half dog half wolf hybrid would breed with another dog." Kouga said, just as loudly, if not louder in his weird voice.  "There must have been something seriously wrong with that first wolf that mated with the dog because there's no way a wolf would sink that low.  It must have been a defective wolf or something…"

"SILENCE KOUGA!!!" yelled Kagome very quietly.  Yes.  You CAN yell quietly.  Try it.  It's fun.

"Sorry, Kagome." Said Kouga, still speaking loudly.

"But this movie is still really bad." Said Inu-Yasha after a few minutes of silence.

"You just think it's bad because it's mostly about wolves." Kagome whispered.

"Well…yeah." Said Inu-Yasha.  "That and the fact that this movie is very bad.  The whole plotline is just so unrealistic.  At least, the basis of the plot is.  Why would a DOG mate with a WOLF?!"

"Geez you guys!" said Kagome.  "Don't you know how to whisper?!"

"'Whisper'?" said Inu-Yasha and Kouga at the same time.  Very loudly.

"Just be quiet!" said Kagome with a groan.

"You know that mouse towards the beginning?" said Inu-Yasha as if Kagome had not told him to be quiet a second ago.  "It was in my dream a few nights ago.  I smote it."

"I don't care!" said Kagome.  "It's not like it's new news!  You smite EVERYTHING!"

Just then, a movie worker guy walked up.  "Excuse me, miss." He said since he only really heard Kagome yell.  "Please stop talking."

"I'm not!" whined Kagome.

"Yeah Kagome, shut up." Said Inu-Yasha.

"Don't speak to Kagome that way!" yelled Kouga, standing up and getting into a fighter's stance.  A bunch of people threw popcorn at him and yelled down in front and stuff like that.

"Miss, tell your two freakish pointy-eared friends with fangs to be quiet." Said some random fat lady with green plastic triangle earrings who was sitting behind Kagome.

"WHAT ABOUT ME?!" yelled Shippo.

"Okay…your THREE freakish pointy-eared friends with fangs." Said the lady.

"Fine!" said Kagome, spinning back around.

"Fight me you dog!!" commanded Kouga.

"OH YEAH?!" Inu-Yasha yelled as he sprang up as well.  "You…WOLF!!" Then they commenced in their attempts to smite each other.  (Just so you know…they won't really kill each other so you can try and stop your tears.)

Suddenly, Kagome's Spider Senses started tingling and she knew that now was a good time to leave.  When you're with three demons, no matter HOW pure their blood may be, you can't expect to have them sit through an entire movie.  So she stood up and walked out.  Kouga immediately turned his head and chased after her since the whole reason he remained being there was because he wanted to be with Kagome.  Inu-Yasha still wanted to fight Kouga so he followed Kouga and Kagome out of the movie theater.  Shippo didn't want to sit there by himself so he got up and left as well.

"WHY did you want to see Spirit?" asked Inu-Yasha as they all piled into the car and sat there, waiting for Sango and Miroku to find them since they KNEW that they would!

"That wasn't Spirit!!" yelled Kagome.  "How DARE you insult Spirit like that!  Spirit is far more superior than some stupid movie about a bunch of stupid dogs and stupid wolves and their stupid problems!!"  Inu-Yasha and Kouga were both taken aback by this statement and started to sulk and whimper pathetically while lowering their heads as if the mere sight of Kagome frightened them.  It took Kagome a minute to realize that she had just offended them both.  "Um…sorry…"

"No Kagome, I can take a hint." Said Inu-Yasha, crossing his arms and scoffing.

"Kagome…I did not realize that you did not enjoy my company…" said Kouga, his eyes beginning to water.

"I never said that…" Kagome started.

"PLEASE!!" yelled Kouga.  "Don't speak!  I know just what you're saying!  So please stop explaining!  Don't tell me cause it hurts!  Oh…oh no…no."  Then he buried his face in his hands and jumped out of the car, sprinting off in the other direction.  Of course, he was gone in a flash because he's so fast!

"I kinda feel bad for him…" said Shippo.

"And you don't feel bad for ME?!" Inu-Yasha demanded.

"NO!!" yelled Shippo.

"YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!" HOLL-ered Inu-Yasha.

"NEVER!!!" Shippo HOLL-ered back.  Then they started fighting but within five seconds, Inu-Yasha had easily beat Shippo to a pulp and put Shippo's tiny limp body under Inu-Yasha's very own foot.

MEANWHILE!!!

"LOOK!!" Miroku exclaimed while pointing to a payphone.  "I've never used one of these before!"

"You certainly don't need to right now." Said Sango.  "Come on, let's just find Kagome and finish this road trip of hers."

"When in a bind, call *69!" Miroku sang to himself as he remembered the little jingle that played on the radio.  By now, he's probably memorized them ALL!!  Except for maybe the NEW ones but that's beside the point because he's probably only heard them a few times anyway.  "We are definitely in a bind."

"I suppose you're right." Said Sango as the two of them made their way over to the payphone.

Miroku picked up the receiver and pressed *69.

"Now what?" he asked.

"You mean you don't know how to use it?" Sango asked.

"Why would I know how to use one of these?!" Miroku demanded.

"It seems pretty obvious." Said Sango although she didn't really believe that.  As far as they were concerned, a phone could be used for HEAVEN ONLY KNOWS!!  They just knew it had buttons and a black THINGY! (the receiver)

"Well…" said Miroku, noticing that he wasn't getting instant results.  "I don't see the point of this.  Perhaps I'll ask Lady Kagome to instruct me upon the usage of this device so in the future, I will be educated on it's use."

Sango sighed and the two of them continued walking.  

MEANWHILE!!!

"Why, oh why Kagome, did you think it would be; A) A good idea to leave Miroku behind, B) A good idea to allow Sango to just go searching for him, C) A good idea to sit here waiting for them, and D) Allow Shippo to be in charge of the radio station?!" Inu-Yasha ranted.

"BE SILENT!!" Kagome yelled.

Suddenly, in front of the car there was a sparkle and Sessho-Maru appeared there with SANGO AND MIROKU!!  YAY!!!

"Just thought they looked lost!  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru.

Kagome decided to ignore Sessho-Maru as she started the car and sped out of the movie theater parking lot without even thanking him or asking how he got the power to teleport so suddenly.

"NEW YORK!!" Kagome screamed as she put on a pair of sunglasses.  "HERE WE COME!!"


	42. New York's Antique Shops Contain Breakab...

At that point, everyone noted that giant sign that said, "WELCOME TO NEW YORK YA CRAZY VARMIT!!"

"Jyou, a deer, a female deer!" sang Kagome as she merrily steered left and right crazily without any consideration for any people who may perish because of her foolish actions.  "Shippo, a drop of golden SUN!!!!  Kagome, a name I call myself!!  SANGO!!  A long long way to RUUUUUUN!!!  Miroku!  A needle pulling thread!!  Inu-Yasha, a note to follow Miroku!!  Sessho-Maru!!  A drink with jam and BREAD!!  That will bring us back to Jyou, Jyou, Jyou JYOU!!!"

Everyone just kind of sat in a stupefied state for a moment or two when finally Inu-Yasha decided to speak.

"You know what?  Pull over." He said casually.

"WHAT?!" Kagome demanded.  "WHY?!"

"I told you…I NEVER FOLLOW MIROKU!!" Inu-Yasha yelled.

"You're just jealous." Said Miroku with a smug look.  "Not only are you following ME but I am a needle pulling thread."

"That's just disgusting." Said Shippo because he thought there was some sort of joke going on and he wanted to look like he got the joke but there actually was no joke for him to get so he was really just making an ass of himself but not the SWEARWORD but the DONKEY.  They say it in Pinocchio so it must not be bad.

"No more songs please." Said Sango.

Suddenly, Sessho-Maru rode by on a magic carpet while drinking tea and eating jam and bread.  "Cheerio!  Sessho."  Then he rode off to a whole new world.

Kagome suddenly noted a Grand Mall on the side of the rode and started turning toward it but suddenly Shippo jumped onto the steering wheel and veered them off to the OTHER side of the road!!  NO!!  NOW THEY'LL **NEVER** GET TO A GRAND MALL!!

"No matter." Said Kagome as she started steering back out toward the Grand Mall.

"Lady Kagome!" Miroku said.  "An antique store!  What a great idea!"

Then he got out of the car while it was still moving and frolicked into the antique store as if he were a little boy skipping into a candy store waving a shiny penny mightily in the air.

"Okay." Said Kagome.  "We're going to go and get him and then we're going right to the Grand Mall!"

"Whatever." Said Inu-Yasha as he got out of the car and walked into the antique store followed by Sango, Shippo and Kagome.  YAY!!

Then Kagome ran back over to the moving car, put it in park and took the keys out of the ignition.  THEN she walked into the antique store.

They were greeted quite vigorously by a guy who miraculously resembled the Jusenkyo guide only older and he had a pointy beard, a little hat and a long braid that was also very thin.

"Greetings customers!" he said as he hugged them each individually, bowed and did a couple of other stereotypical Chinese things.

"Do you sell anything that does not require a 'plug'?" asked Miroku.

"Ah yes!" said Salesperson Wong.  "We sell many things!"

"Because where I come from, plugs are very scarce." Said Miroku.  Then he thought for a minute.  "Perhaps I shall introduce them!"

Then he pulled out a pad of paper and pencil and added 'plug' to the list.

"We were just leaving…" Said Kagome as she latched onto Miroku's arm and started pulling him out.

"HOSH-SAMA!" Sango called from the other side of the store.  Miroku made his way over to Sango.  "Look at this book…"

She handed Miroku some old looking book open to some random page.  Miroku looked at the page it was open to and gasped.

"Why, it's ME!" he said excitedly.  Then he started reading out loud.  "Miroku (no last name given); inventor of karaoke in (insert correct sounding date here).  Miroku; inventor of volleyball as well as skiing.  Founder of the way to find enlightenment.  Also invented…Hula Dancing?  Now what is that?"

"You'll find out!" said Kagome. Then she added a little 'maybe', but did not let Miroku hear.

"Wait…" said Miroku as he scanned the list of things that he 'invented'.  "Here it is!  REST AREA!!"

"Miroku, how did YOU 'invent' all these things when you only just learned about them?" asked Kagome.

"Hm…" thought Miroku out loud as he put his hand on his chin.  Then he abruptly put his finger up in the air as if he just got a glorious idea.  "Lady Kagome!  It's your fault!  By introducing these things to me, I have brought the knowledge back to my time and told people!  They take the idea as mine and I benefit from them and eventually get a book all about me in future!  YOU'VE CHANGE THE FUTURE!!!"

As he said that last line, lightning flashed behind him and he towered upon a large hill.

"DEAR GOD NO!!" Kagome bellowed.  "I never thought…I mean…NO!!"

"Let's see what happens in my future!" said Miroku as he flipped back to the end of the book.

"No Miroku!" said Kagome as she slammed the book shut.  "You shouldn't look!"

"But I must know!"

"NO!" Kagome said.  "It's bad enough that you alter the future entirely!"

"Not really." Said Miroku.  "I simply made myself a name."

"I forbid you to do so!" Kagome yelled.  

"Very well, Lady Kagome." Said Miroku.  "I give you my word as a monk that I will not alter the future."

"No good." Said Kagome.  "I've met too many BAD monks."

"Um…okay…" said Miroku.  "I swear upon my father's grave which lies at the bottom of the very crater that he met his was consumed in."

"Hm…" said Kagome.

"Take that as my word!" Miroku said with a SNIFF.  "Oh father…I will meet you soon!  Oh Kagome!  Why did you have to remind me of my fate!"

"Okay, I believe you." Said Kagome as she snatched the book away from him and flipped through the index.  "Your name is still here…on page 264…"

Kagome then flipped to that particular page.  

"Inventor of the rest area?!" Kagome asked. 

"YAY!!" Miroku cheered.  "Just give me THAT much!"

"Whatever." Said Kagome.  Then she looked around.  "Hey…where is Inu-Yasha and everyone else?  They better not have gone to the Grand Mall!"

"I doubt they have." Said Miroku.

"Well if they have then I'm going to rant and rave and you're going to have to listen to me!" Kagome warned Miroku.  Suddenly, there was a loud smash off in the distance.

"I think I know where they are." Said Miroku.

"OH!!" yelled the stereotypical Chinese guy.  "IS VERY BAD!!"  Then he stuck his hands in his sleeves and shuffled off in the direction of the smash and Kagome and Miroku went off in that direction too since, after all, they wanted to find everyone else and stuff.  They rounded the corner to see Inu-Yasha, Sango and Shippo all huddled over in a little circle.

"What happened?!" demanded Kagome.

"WHAT VASE?!" yelled Shippo.

"SHUT UP!!" yelled Inu-Yasha as he hit Shippo on the head.  Sango turned around and held out a few pieces of a broken vase that was all purple with green blobs so it looked kind of stupid.

"Um…we accidentally broke this." She confessed since she's responsible.

"It was all Shippo's fault!!" Inu-Yasha said immediately, pointing at Shippo.

"NUH-UH!!" yelled Shippo.

"YAH-HUH!!" Inu-Yasha argued.

The Chinese guy took the vase and chuckled warmly to himself.  "This only display vase!" he said in his Chinese accent so you couldn't really understand him.  "Real priceless, one of kind, zillion dollar vase in back room nice and safe!  I no let customer go in back room."

"Oh…I thought we were allowed in there…" said Sango hesitantly.  Inu-Yasha reached behind him and picked up the display vase that was still quite intact.  Instead of making him some kind of crazy story about THAT being the real vase, he only kind of scratched his head and showed it to the Chinese guy who screamed "AI-YAA!!" and then fainted.

"Come on, let's try to put it back together before he wakes up!!" said Kagome as she lunged for the pieces and pulled some superglue out of her pocket since she likes carrying superglue around.  If your purse has a secret pocket then you must use it even if you're really only putting superglue in it.  After a few moments of gluing desperately, Kagome stood back up straight looking satisfied but realized that she had accidentally glued quite a large clump of her hair to the side of the vase.  "OH NO!!  I JUST GOT A HAIRCUT TOO!!"

"That's okay, you can just get another one." Said Miroku since he is an insensitive male.

Sango and Kagome gasped.  Soon after, Kagome burst into tears and Sango glared angrily at Miroku before guiding Kagome around the corner with the vase still attached to her head.

"What exactly was the problem again?" asked Inu-Yasha.

"Kagome's going to have to cut her hair to get the vase off." Shippo said with a nod.

"Okay." Said Inu-Yasha.  Then he paused.  "So?"  Miroku and Shippo shrugged and at that exact second, Kagome and Sango came back and a piece of Kagome's hair was all cut and short and off in some random direction so it looked as though she had just been electrocuted but ONLY in that one little spot on her head.  In other words, it looked funny.  P. D

"So how's the vase?" asked Miroku.

"Aren't you even going to ask how _I _feel about this?!" screamed Kagome as she continued to cry and then ran off, knocking over many of things on her way but not really caring.

"I don't see what's she's getting so worked up about." Said Inu-Yasha as he leaned up against another shelf and many other things fell off and smashed on the ground, shattering into a trillion pieces even if they were spoons or something.

Kagome then came back a second later.  She had combed her hair so no one would know the difference except for people of the female gender.  Taking a moment to glance around the room, she noticed that just about everything was absolutely destroyed so she put her hands on her hips and scrunched up her face like a fish and her forehead became all wrinkly.  She had to dodge her head when Miroku looked as though he wanted to play the violin again.

"What did you all do in the ten seconds I was gone?!" she HOLL-ered.

"YOU did half of it!" Inu-Yasha pointed out.

"And you did the other half." Miroku reminded him.

"I did not!" yelled Inu-Yasha as he stomped his foot so hard that everything off the shelves next to them toppled to the ground.

"ARGH!!" screeched Kagome so loudly that some more things shattered.  "I want to know how you did it, not a reenactment!!"

"Oh, he didn't break them like that…it was more like this." Said Shippo as he turned into a balloon and started bouncing around and breaking things while being rather destructive.

"I did NOT do that!!!" bellowed Inu-Yasha.

"Yes, Shippo, that was a ridiculous statement." Said Sango.  "I assume that it would be more like this."  She then pulled out a piece of wood that was holding up a shelf and everything on THAT shelf broke as well.

"How would you know?" asked Miroku.  "You weren't even there.  Since both Shippo and Inu-Yasha seem to have a fractured memory, I'LL have to show Lady Kagome just what Inu-Yasha did to break all those things."  Then he turned to the last shelf and before Kagome could yell at him to stop, he leaned up against it and knocked everything over…just like Inu-Yasha had!

Suddenly, the Salesman woke up again, saw that everything was broken and fainted right then and there.  Then he woke up and BOY WAS HE MAD!!

"THIS VERY NONACCEPTABLE!!" yelled Salesman as he grabbed them all by their ears and dragged them to the backroom where there were piles and piles of dirty dishes stacked to the ceiling and a bunch of large sinks.  "YOU MUST WORK TO PAY OFF DEBT!!!!"

Then he left and slammed the door behind him and only knocked over a FEW piles of dishes with this action.

"Why does he have so many dirty dishes if he doesn't own a restaurant?" asked Sango to herself.

"Feh." Said Inu-Yasha.  "I hope he's not expecting us to actually WASH these for him."

"I bet that's the LEAST of what he's expecting out of us!" Kagome said with a tear in her eye.  "We ruined his WHOLE store!  He might go out of business because of us!  So many irreplaceable items were ruined today without cause!  This is what we deserve and I plan on carrying it out!"

Then Kagome grabbed a plate and plopped it into the sink and began scrubbin' away with a brush and a bristle!  AAAHHHHHH!!  They're as clean as a whistle!

"You guys have to help me." Said Kagome without looking up.  "You did it after all and if you don't, I'll never take you home!"

"Very well, Lady Kagome." Said Miroku.  "Perhaps I am partially to blame and I should take responsibility for my actions."

"Why can't you be more like Miroku?" asked Kagome as she looked only at Inu-Yasha.  Sango dove right in because she felt guilty.

"Yeah!" said Miroku.  "Be more like me!"

Then he looked down at the pile of dishes that he had to wash.

"May I use a pair of yellow rubber gloves?" Miroku asked.  "This is simply disgusting!  What is this?  CHEESE?!  I don't want this on me!  If I get this on my little glove thingy, it will NEVER come off and smell for the rest of my shortened life!  What smells so bad?!  Oh!  This is nice!  It's OLD broccoli!  How long have these kitchen items been here anyway?!"

"SILENCE!!" Sango yelled as she hit Miroku on the head with a pan that was encrusted with fried eggs.

"How many times has Miroku fallen unconscious during this road trip?" asked Inu-Yasha.  

"I don't know." Said Sango with a shrug.  Then she paused, leapt to the ground and began caressing Miroku's limp body.  "Oh hosh-sama!  You fell unconscious just for me!  So I wouldn't have to listen to you anymore!"

"Why am I doing this all by myself all of a sudden?!" demanded Kagome.

"Can we just leave?" asked Shippo.  "This is SO boring!"

"Yeah!" said Inu-Yasha.  "I don't care whether or not we repay this guy!  I have destroyed FAR more than this and not given it a second thought!"

"MUST…REPAY…NICE CHINESE FELLOW!!" Kagome said as she madly scrubbed the dishes.

Inu-Yasha, Sango and Shippo got into a huddle to think of a plan.  They emerged a second later and said BREAK!!

"Kagome…" said Inu-Yasha as he put his hand on Kagome's shoulder.

"Inu…Ya…sha…" said Kagome as she put her hand on Inu-Yasha's.

"I REALLY want to go to the next state do whatever you have planned for us." Inu-Yasha continued in, what he considered to be a nice, soothing voice.

"Inu…Ya…sha…" Kagome repeated.  Then, without thinking, she gathered up AWL her friends and ran into the safari jeep.  "Inu-Yasha, I didn't know you wanted to go to Connecticut!" 

"Well, I do!" Inu-Yasha said.  He wanted to at LEAST wait until she started the car.  "So very much!  Now let's leave this antique store and this state and go!"

"OKAY!!" said Kagome as she started up the car and rove to Connecticut.


	43. Punty, Miroku's Brand New Friend from Co...

Suddenly, something ran out in front of the car.

"OH MY GOD!!" Kagome yelled as she slammed on the breaks.  (This woke Miroku up from being unconscious and Sango got all mad at him for taking advantage of her and being on her lap when she was caressing him.  THE NERVE OF THAT HOSH!!)

"KAGOME!!" Inu-Yasha yelled.  "STOP HITTING STUFF!!"

Everyone got out of the car to see what Kagome had hit THIS time.

"It's still alive!" Sango said as she noticed a little puppy underneath the wheel of the car shivering and being all scared.

"Come here little puppy…" said Kagome as she reached her hand out for the dog.  The dog growled at her and bit hard down on her hand.  "OW!!"

"Inu-Yasha, you talk to it!" said Shippo.  "Tell it that we come in peace."

"What?" Inu-Yasha asked in a baffled tone.  "Are you implying that I can communicate with that rodent?"

"It's a dog!" said Kagome.  "You're HALF dog or something."

"I can NOT speak to dogs!" Inu-Yasha said through clenched teeth.

Suddenly, the dog frolicked up to Inu-Yasha and leapt into his arms.  Then it began nuzzling Inu-Yasha.

"What did you tell it?!" Kagome asked while staring at the dog with an intrigued face.  "You better not have said anything bad about me!"

"Oh, I told it that you were annoying." Said Inu-Yasha as he rolled his eyes and dropped the dog.  The dog just continued nuzzling Inu-Yasha's leg.

"HOW DARE YOU!!" Kagome yelled.  "SIT!!"

QUACK!!

The dog sat down like a dog and looked as though it expected a treat.

Miroku walked over to the dog and picked it up.  It just kinda looked around being all scared and every now and then it would lick his hand and/or his face and then go back to being scared.

"She's staying with me!" he exclaimed excitedly.

"That's cause you're HOLDING her!" said Sango.

"That thing is just…so… PUNTABLE!" Inu-Yasha said as he brushed off his clothes after standing up.

"Then we shall name her Punty." Said Miroku as he tossed the dog into the car.

"Wait…" said Kagome.  "Are you expecting to KEEP the dog or something?"

"We're not going to?" asked Miroku.

"No." said Kagome.  "It's a vicious little thing."

"Well…okay…" said Miroku sadly.  "I've never had a dog before or anything…or a pet for that matter…I don't know if I'll ever get to have a pet and this might be my only chance and all…"

"Oh all right…for now…" Said Kagome as a tear slid down her cheek.  My how they ALL have Kagome just FIGURED out!!

"Oh good!" said Miroku.  "You shan't regret this!"

"YAY!!" Shippo cheered.  "MY OWN PERSONAL PET!!"

Shippo jumped into the car and began 'playing' with Punty.  Of course, his idea of play was chasing it around the car while yelling at it and demanding that it go through his legs.

"ROAR!!" Shippo yelled.  "I'M GONNA GET YOU!!  GO THROUGH MY LEGS!!"

"NO!" Miroku HOLL-ered as he scooped Punty up.  Then he began stroking it roughly while feeding it Oreos and Bologna.  "You must be NICE to Punty."

Then for fun, he flipped the dog's ears inside out and chuckled warmly.

"May I hold the dog?" Sango asked as she grabbed Punty's tail.

"No!" Miroku yelled.  "Don't grab Punty's tail!"

Then Miroku picked Punty up by her back legs and handed her to Sango.

Punty scrambled to escape Sango's wrath and scratched her up a little bit.

"I told you that dog was vicious!" Kagome yelled from the front seat.  Then she noticed a billboard on the side of the road and began reading it out loud.  "Missing, small dog…"

Kagome looked at the picture of the dog on the billboard and noticed that it was the SAME KIND OF DOG AS PUNTY!!

Then she read on.  Yes, she can STILL see it even though she's driving because she slowed down to a crawl.

"Reward for the capture of my missing dog; Holly Go Lightly Through the Prairie." Kagome read on.

"Holly Go Lightly Through the Prairie?" asked Inu-Yasha out loud.  "Punty is MUCH more suitable for such a puntable dog."

Kagome took out a piece of paper and pencil and wrote down the phone number of the lady who was missing her darling shnookums.

"Next payphone you see, tell me!" said Kagome.

"We're going to give Punty back?" Miroku asked as he caressed Punty.  "Not my pet!"

Suddenly Kagome pulled over to the side of the road to a payphone.

"Oh!" said Miroku as he momentarily forgot about Punty.  "Instruct me on the usage of this!"

"I don't feel like it." Said Kagome as she picked up the receiver and dialed the number.  She got in a long conversation with the lady and eventually hung up the phone and walked back to the car.

"What dog?!" demanded Miroku.  "Only SHIPPO here!"

Then he held up Punty dressed up in Shippo's clothes.

"Give me my clothes back…" came Shippo's whiney voice from the glove compartment.  

"The lady said that she'd meet us in this VERY parking lot!" said Kagome as she sat in the driver's seat and just SAT there.  "In the meantime, I'll entertain us with some music."

I bet you think she put on Sugar Beats.  Well she didn't.  She put on the Afro Song!!  YAY!!

"What's Punty's real name again?" asked Inu-Yasha.  "Happy Go Skippy or something like that?"

"I think so." Said Sango.  "Let's see if she answers to it.  Happy Go Skippy!  Come, Happy Go Skippy!"  Punty didn't really budge but by this time, she had mauled Shippo's clothes.  Shippo was upset for a little while but then he realized that it was NAKEY TIME so he just frolicked around if he wasn't nude and Kagome finally tossed him some clothes since he was bothering her.

"I wonder how long it'll take the owner to get here?" wondered Kagome.

"I hope not for a long time." Said Miroku as he continued to stroke Punty's head.  She would randomly look up and headbutt him but he would only chuckle warmly and continue to pet her.

"Give other people a chance to bond with her!!" Kagome demanded, grabbing Punty and handing her to Inu-Yasha.  "I want to see you communicate with her because I KNOW you can!!"

"I don't go around telling you to talk to monkeys!!" he argued, shoving Punty back at Kagome.  Punty started barking and snarling and frothing and biting Kagome so Kagome yelped with fear and tossed Punty in the backseat to Miroku since he had his arms outstretched and WANTED to catch Punty whereas Sango was kind of avoiding her and Shippo was still putting on his clothes since he was having trouble with his socks since his feet are so deformed.

"She LOVES me!" said Miroku as if Punty had chosen him as opposed to just leaping randomly and landing in his arms.  Then he fed Punty some more Oreos.

"Chocolate is bad for dogs." Informed Kagome as she pulled out her first aid kit so that she could cover her wounds.

"What?" Miroku asked.  "Don't be ridiculous!  I've seen Inu-Yasha eat it PLENTY of times and he's perfectly healthy!"

"I am NOT a dog!" Inu-Yasha demanded.  "I may be HALF of a dog demon but that doesn't make me a dog!"

"Yes it does." Said Shippo as he jumped in the front of the car as if just wearing a shirt and pair of socks qualified him as being dressed.

"SILENCE!!" Inu-Yasha bellowed as he punted Shippo.  We should rename Shippo to Punty!  YAY!!

"Okay, before the lady shows up, I am going to play with Punty ALL DAY and do all the things I wanted to do with a pet but have never done!" said Miroku.

Suddenly, a car pulled into the place and a lady got out.

"HOLLY GO LIGHTLY THROUGH THE PRAIRIE!!" sang the lady as she frolicked over to the car with her arms outstretched.  Then she yoinked the dog from Miroku's possession and left without saying thank you.  THE NERVE!!

"Oh sniff." Said Miroku.  Then he pulled out a little notebook.  "Oh well, that's ONE of my goals fulfilled!  Hm…I better get to work…I haven't done most of them."

Shippo took the list from Miroku.

"Can I see your goals?" Shippo asked as he looked at the list.  

"Move out of Step Parent's house (check), 

Gain Hosh-Like Enlightenment Powers (check) 

Become devilishly handsome (check)

Swindle many rich people out of their money (check) 

Get a pet (check)

Get a beautiful lady to bear my child 

Fool everyone into believing that I have perished

Smite Naraku

Digivolve Into Ikkakumon

Find all the Shikon Shards

Make my own headstone because of my earlier than normal perishing

Write my will…"

"Give me that back!!" Miroku yelled as he snatched it from Shippo.  He had previously just been nodding as Shippo read them but then he realized that everyone was listening to his PERSONAL goals of life.  And that bothered him.  "Next on my list is to get someone to bear my child!"

Sango scooted over to the other side of the car.

"Sango, I am hurt." Said Miroku.  "That you would think that I would go directly to you!" He was secretly wishing that Sango would just LEAP into his outstretched arms and DEMAND that he impregnate her right then and there.

"Why is 'smite Naraku' so far down the list?" asked Inu-Yasha.

"Because I wanted to start with practical goals for myself." Said Miroku.  "Obviously, since the list starts with 'move out of Step Parent's house', I was but a furling when I started these goals which reminds me, when I visited Step Parent, I noticed that my father's gravestone was not a great one like he SO deserves.  That's why THAT goal is so far down the list.  Also, I have not yet made a will.  I need to know who to leave my stu…staff to!"

"Your staff?" asked Inu-Yasha.

"Of course Inu-Yasha." Said Miroku.  "Everything I own, I hold on my person and when I am consumed, it will all come with me.  So when it is my time, you all have to remind me to leave my staff behind when I run off to some desolate area to meet my end.  That way, you may keep it and have something to remember me by when I will no longer join you upon your travels."

"Damn it Miroku!" said Inu-Yasha.  "Why are you so damned pessimistic?!"

"I have simply accepted my fate." Answered Miroku.  "And that is the only reason why I ask young women to bear my child!  It is simply so the family name will be carried on and we can finally smite Naraku."

"What family name?" asked Shippo.  "Aren't you just Miroku and that's it?"

"Silence!" hushed Miroku.

"I WONDER WHY THEY CALL IT RHODE ISLAND BECAUSE IT'S NOT REALLY AN ISLAND!!!" screeched Kagome randomly.

"I thought we were in Connecticut!" said Sango.

"Nope!" said Kagome.  "We are now officially in Rhode Island!"  Then they passed a sign that said YOU ARE NOW IN RHODE ISLAND!!!  WELCOME!!  "Well… NOW we're in Rhode Island!"  Then they passed another sign that said WE WERE JUST KIDDING!!  _NOW _YOU'RE IN RHODE ISLAND!!  "Um…NOW we're in Rhode Island…"


	44. Rhode Island and the Diaster Sailing Exc...

"You don't have to tell us, we know how to read." Said Inu-Yasha.

"Rather mysteriously." Said Miroku.

"But I just wanted to correct myself!" said Kagome, trying to cover up the fact that she had just made a fool of herself.  HAW HAW HAW!!

"So what are we going to do in Rhode Island?" asked Shippo.

"Well, Rhode Island is famous for its…" Kagome started but then she swerved around and pulled into the breakdown lane.

"What was that all about?!" demanded Inu-Yasha as he pulled Shippo off his head since Shippo had been tossed around in the swerve since he is so tiny and knavish.

"Rhode Island is so small I almost accidentally drove right through it!" Kagome answered, taking a deep breath as she pointed to a sign right in front of them that said 'Welcome to Massachusetts!  We Love You!'  So Kagome turned around and started driving back deeper into Rhode Island but she had to turn around again so they wouldn't go back into Connecticut.

"So what is Rhode Island famous for?" asked Sango.

Kagome looked confused.  "What?" she said.

"Before you swerved away from Massachusetts you were saying 'Rhode Island is famous for its'.  What is Rhode Island famous for?" Sango explained.

"Oh right!" chuckled Kagome.  "Well, Rhode Island isn't famous for anything really, I just said that so that you would think that what I was planning would be extra super cool."

"Ah." Said everyone but Miroku said 'Ma' and Inu-Yasha said 'Feh'.

"But we are going to go SAILING!!!" Kagome shrieked as she pulled into a harbor and parked the jeep right outside the dock.

"It's amazing how we just come up on these places without any of us even noticing every single time." Said Miroku.  "And how we manage to drive through so very many states without days even passing by."

"Hosh-sama, what did we talk about pointing out holes in the plot?" Sango said, putting her hands on her hips.  "I let that last one slide about us all knowing how to read English quite mysteriously but this one is so incredibly blaring and doesn't need to be pointed out."

"I'm sorry." Said Miroku, bowing his head in shame.

"Everyone, put on your bathing suits!!" said Kagome.  Everyone looked for their bathing suits and everyone found theirs except for Sango.

"Kagome, my bathing suit seems to be missing…" she started but then she looked at Kagome to see that she was wearing HER bathing suit!  "Um…that's my bathing suit…"

"Well, I wanted to wear YOURS!!" Kagome said, getting horseshoe eyes.  "After all, my bathing suit is hideous and brown and has a stupid looking skirt since my mom picked it out and it's a ONE PIECE and I want to impress Inu-Yasha with my body!!"  (Yes, at this point, the men had frolicked off to the men's bathroom to change and Sango and Kagome were in the female's bathroom at the moment.)

"So you're saying that I should wear your hideous brown, one piece bathing suit with a skirt that your mother picked out for you?" Sango said, raising an eyebrow.

"YES!!" commanded Kagome as she laughed diabolically at Sango's expense.  "It really should have occurred to me to purchase a new bathing suit when I bought you all ones but at that time, the thought just hadn't even crossed my mind and I've been blindly jealous of your bathing suit so I've decided to steal it and there's nothing you can do about it because I bought it for you and if you try to take it back then I will RETURN IT AND THEN BUY IT AGAIN ONLY FOR _ME!!_"

Sango took a step back from Kagome since she was now breathing heavily and grunting like a monkey.  She didn't really mind wearing Kagome's bathing suit since she doesn't really have any personality whatsoever.  Then they frolicked outside to see Inu-Yasha, Miroku and Shippo all standing there looking impatient.

"Why are girls such slow changers?!" yelled Shippo.  (He was perched atop Miroku's shoulder just to tell ya.)

Miroku shook his head.  "I think the _true_ question is; why is Lady Kagome wearing Sango's bathing suit?" he said, pointing his finger up in the air.

"Oh really?" said Inu-Yasha.  "I hadn't noticed.  It's not like I pay attention to stuff like Kagome's body."  

"Me either!!" said Shippo.

"Neither do I." finished Miroku.  Then the three masculine figures chuckled warmly.  Kagome joined in on the chuckling because she assumed that they were joking since Miroku most certainly DOES look at her body and just about every other girl's body.  It never really occurred to her that the reason the males were chuckling was because Miroku made a funny when Shippo and Inu-Yasha were being serious.  Sango started chuckling too because she felt left out.

Miroku suddenly cleared his throat.  "That's okay, I think the one piece is better than the two." He said.

"I also prefer the one piece effect as opposed to the two piece." Inu-Yasha agreed, nodding his head.  "I think the two piece just shows some disgusting feminine stomach flesh that I could definitely live the rest of my life seeing once!"

"Inu-Yasha…" said Kagome.  "SIT!!!"

Just then, a guy walked over with…well, by now I would assume that you know what kind of bathing suit all the males wear in this story.  No?  Okay, he was wearing a bright red Speedo and I'm SURE you can guess what kind of big, white, fluffy object he has over his shoulder!  YOU CAN'T?!  What, did you start reading this story just as they entered Rhode Island because this is the state you live in or something?  ALL RIGHT!!  IT WAS SESSHO-MARU!!

"Welcome to your first sailing lesson!  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru.

"Sailing lesson?" said Kagome, looking confused.  "I didn't sign up for a sailing lesson…"

"I wasn't talking to YOU!!  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru as he swept right past them and walked over to a family of people who were waiting eagerly for someone to teach them how to sail.  What better teacher than Sessho-Maru?  He knows EVERYTHING!!!

"Silly me!" grinned Kagome.  "Let's go to the sailboat I rented with my ridiculously large amount of money that I accumulated out of nowhere!"  Everyone wanted to see the sailboat the Kagome had rented with her ridiculously large amount of money that she had accumulated out of nowhere!  So they all ran over to the edge of the dock to a sailboat that didn't have a name!!

"How can I possibly ride a boat that has no name?" asked Miroku.  "It's bad luck you know…"

"Hm…let's name it then!" said Kagome excitedly.  "Anyone have ideas?"  No one said anything.  "If no one gives input then I'm just going to name it 'Inu-Yasha' so if you don't want it called 'Inu-Yasha' then say something right now!!"

"It wouldn't bother me." Said Sango with a shrug.

"As long as it's named." Miroku answered.

"I want to name it the Shippo Mobile!!" declared Shippo.

"Feh." Said Inu-Yasha.  "Naming boats is a child's activity."

"Fine then!" said Kagome as she grabbed a bucket of paint and began scribing on the side of the boat, 'Inu-Yasha'.  While she was doing this while whistling to herself, Miroku leaned over to Inu-Yasha.

"Are you still oblivious to the fact that Lady Kagome is absolutely blindly in love with you?" he asked.

"Huh?" said Inu-Yasha obliviously.

"DONE!!" screamed Kagome as she threw her arms up into the air and tossed the paint can and brush behind her and it landed on Shippo.  Shippo didn't care!!  He LIKED being covered in black paint!!

"YAY!!" cheered Shippo.

Then they all got on the boat.  As soon as they did, Kagome tossed them each a life jacket.  "If you don't put these on then we will not leave!" she threatened as she put on her own life jacket and put it on as tight as it would go.  Of course, everyone acknowledged safety and put their life jackets as well since it's not cool to be unsafe.  Though, Shippo was a bit unsafe because the life jacket was practically the size of him so he just kind of sat in it like a nest and figured that if they sank, he could just ride it like a life raft!  HURRAH!!

"I hope you know how to use this thing, Lady Kagome, because I do not." Said Miroku as he sat down on next to Sango just because she just so happen to be sitting there.  No OTHER reason.  Besides, the other side was taken up by Inu-Yasha and Kagome and as for Shippo…does it matter where he sits?  It's not like he takes up any space or anything!!

"Of course I do!" Kagome said defensively.  "I'm a certified lifeguard!!"

"Um…as far as I know…" started Sango.  "I could be wrong, considering my knowledge of this world compared to yours, but what does being a lifeguard have to do with using a sailboat.  What I'm trying to say is…this contraption looks so horribly complicated."

"It's not!" assured Kagome.  "I'll show you!!"  And they sat there for a minute.

"So…how do we get it to move?" asked Inu-Yasha because he, like Miroku, clearly has ADD.

"The wind hits the sail and pushes it along!" Kagome replied.  "By moving the sail around, we can steer in different directions and other things like that!"

They sat there for another minute.

"Why isn't anything happening?" said Inu-Yasha, nudging Kagome and clearing his throat.

"We have to push it off the shore first, silly!" said Kagome.  She stared at Inu-Yasha.

"Why do _I _have to do everything?!" he demanded once he realized what she was plotting ever so evilly.

"Well I couldn't very well do it!" laughed Kagome as she slapped her knee.

"Get someone else to." Said Inu-Yasha, getting pouty and crossing his arms.  Kagome continued to laugh at his expense and then pushed him over the edge of the boat and he splashed into the water.  Of course, since they're still on land, even though he fell face first in the water, the top of his head was dry.  But none the less, he was still heaping mad and would have surely smote Kagome if not Miroku threatening to purge him.  So he ended up pushing the sailboat off shore since everyone's argument was that he was ALREADY out of the boat so why trouble the others and make them get out?!  And that's exactly what he did.  But, since he is oh so foreign to this world, he didn't really know how far he had to push it so he ended up trudging through the water when it was up to his waist and Kagome didn't tell him because she enjoyed chuckling at him.  Finally, when he figured that the boat was out far enough, (this also being the time in which he couldn't touch the ground) he jumped out of water and back into the boat.  He slapped Kagome around a little bit though not really and then shook himself off all over everyone so they would be wet just like him!  Yes, he shook himself off just like a dog since, after all, everyone's been making fun of him so he decided to play along so he could laugh at THEIR expense!!  HURRAY!!!

They drifted out further and further as Kagome pulled at random ropes and pushed the pole with the sail around but this particular day just didn't seem to have very much wind!  And Kagome only decided to call it off when they were really far out to sea as well.  So she thrusted a paddle into both Miroku and Inu-Yasha's hands and instructed them to row everyone back to shore!!  GUY POWA!!!  (Shippo doesn't count.  He's a knave.)

"Why must I always work?" asked Miroku.  "Inu-Yasha does it because he LIKES it but why do I have to do it to?!"

"I don't LIKE it!" Inu-Yasha yelled.

"Because you're a male!" said Kagome.  "And males must be chivalrous and courteous and do all the work for the females!"

"Yeah!" said Shippo.  "Wait a second…GIVE ME AN OAR!!"

"Besides!" added Kagome.  "Guys are stronger than girls!"

"I think Sango's stronger than Miroku." Said Inu-Yasha as he put his paddle into the water.

"HEY!!" Sango yelled as she smacked Inu-Yasha.

"Since when is COMPLIMENTING someone BAD?!" asked Inu-Yasha.

"You're so insensitive." Said Kagome.  She began comforting Sango.

"I didn't say anything bad!" Inu-Yasha insisted.

"You practically called her a man!" yelled Kagome.

"I simply said that she's better at physical work than Miroku is!" Inu-Yasha

"Now where do you get off saying that?" asked Miroku as he suddenly started paying attention.

"It's just that…uh…you never do!" said Inu-Yasha.  "And Sango does SIGNIFICANTLY more PHYSICAL work that you could ever dream of doing!"

"That would lie in our professions." Said Miroku with the single-handed pray.  "Because being a monk requires little physical excursion whereas demon hunting is nothing but strenuous work!"

"I wanted to call this boat the Shippo Mobile!" Shippo whined randomly because he was bored, disgruntled and wanted to change the subject.

"Well you should have said something!" said Kagome.

"I DID!" Shippo complained.  "But you ignored me!"

"I did not!" Kagome argued.

"Then why isn't the boat called the Shippo Mobile?!"

"Because…uh…" started Kagome but then she noticed Miroku playing with the rudder and NOT paddling (the nerve) so she decided to fix that!

"Fine then!" said Shippo to himself as he pulled out a box of crayons.  "I'll just name it myself!!"

Then he leaned over the side of the boat and started writing 'The Shippo Mobile' on it.  It was upside down and REALLY small and illegible but Shippo didn't care.  It was beautiful.

"Why aren't you paddling?!" Kagome demanded as she thwacked Miroku upside the head.

"Well, Sango tried to grab my oar from me in order to prove some sort of point and then she let go when I gave resistance which sent the oar hurtling into the ocean." Explained Miroku.  "I had no intention of submerging myself in the salty water and you were busy at the time so I allowed it to float away to it's eventual watery grave."

"And I thought Miroku caught it." Said Sango to Kagome.

"Great!" said Kagome.  "Here we are stranding in the middle of the ocean with ONE oar, no one's willing to paddle and SHIPPO'S DRAWING ON THE SIDE OF THE BOAT!!"

"Inu-Yasha's doing it too!!" Shippo said frantically, pointing to Inu-Yasha who was also leaned over the side of the boat.  At the sound of his name, he sat up straight and put the purple crayon behind his back.

"Was not!!" he yelled.

"Was too!!" Shippo yelled back.

"NO!!"

"YES!!"

"NO!!"

"YES!!"

"SILENCE!!!" shrieked Kagome.  Shippo and Inu-Yasha immediately stopped and stared at Kagome with wide eyes.

"Well he started it…" said Inu-Yasha.

"No I didn't!" Shippo argued.

"THAT'S ENOUGH!!!" HOLL-ered Kagome.  "If I hear one more peep out of ANY of you then I'm going to punish everyone in some horribly unimaginable way that would scar you for the rest of your life, no matter what you do!"

"Lady Kagome!" gasped Miroku.  "Is it necessary to point out the fact that everyone here will live a much longer life than I?!"

"When did I say that?" wondered Kagome.

"He's right, Kagome, you didn't need to say that." Said Sango as she patted Miroku on the back while he sniffled.

"I missed what I said." Said Kagome.

"It kind of reminds me of the time I called Sango a man but didn't really." Said Inu-Yasha out loud.

"That's different though." Said Kagome.  "You so OBVIOUSLY called her a man and all I didn't say anything bad."

"Yes you did." Said Inu-Yasha.  "You said that we would all be punished for the rest of our lives.  You KNOW that Miroku is going to die sooner so he won't be punished as long."

"That's not fair!" whined Shippo.  "I don't want Miroku to be punished less!"

"Um…" said Kagome as she tried to think of something to say that wouldn't upset anyone while at the same time making everyone happy.  "Well…it kinda balances out!  Cause…he'll be punished less but…you'll also…live longer?"

"Lady Kagome!" Miroku yelled as he got all depressed again and continued wallowing.  Kagome just kind of shut her mouth right then and there and avoided the gazes of anyone that could potentially throw her an evil glare.

It was a very silent…FLOAT.

"So Inu-Yasha…" said Kagome suddenly because she hates silence.  "When do you plan on rowing back?"

"With what oar?" asked Inu-Yasha.

"The only one we have!" Kagome yelled.

"Oh?" said Inu-Yasha.  "Miroku found his oar?"

"No." said Kagome.  "YOU had one too!"

"I noted the past tense." Said Inu-Yasha.  "I DID have an oar."

"Where is it?"

Shippo suddenly held up an oar that was broken into two pieces.  The entire PADDLE part had come off the handle.  Shippo had a large bump on his head.

"Shippo said that his name was better than mine." Said Inu-Yasha.  "I knew he was wrong so I taught him never to come up against me again."

"Sniffle." Whined Shippo pathetically.

"ARGH!!" Kagome yelled as she crossed her arms.  "THAT'S IT!!  Inu-Yasha, Miroku, out of the boat!  You're pushing!!"

"Kagome is so scary when she's angry!" Shippo cried. 

"I'm not wearing my bathing suit." Said Miroku as he unzipped his life jacket to show that he was clad in NORMAL PERSON CLOTHING!!  (Not hosh clothing OR bathing suit!  Or a bright red Speedo for that matter.)

"And WHY not?!" Kagome asked.  "Didn't I tell you to put it on?!"

"You might have." Said Miroku.  "Ah yes!  I went into the facilities to change but the automatic warm air machines that some nice fellow informed me of their magical hand drying abilities fascinated me.  I got distracted and never changed I suppose."

"You suppose?" Kagome asked.  "Well, men going swimming in their shorts anyway, don't they?"

"I wouldn't know." Miroku answered.

"Aren't you a man?" Kagome argued.

"Yes." Said Miroku.  "But not one from your time that wears shorts to swim in.  I don't even wear shorts!"

"I suppose you have a point." Said Kagome.  "But you have them NOW so just take your shorts off and jump in!"

"Take my SHORTS off?" Miroku asked.  "Lady Kagome, as you know, I am not interested in a relationship with you.  Inu-Yasha would see to THAT!"

"I meant take off your SHIRT!" said Kagome with a sigh.  "I just got so caught up in the talk about shorts."

"Understandable." Said Miroku with a bow of the head.  Then there was an awkward pause.  

"So aren't you going to do it?"

"I have no desire to."

"That doesn't matter!" Kagome yelled, starting to get impatient.  "I have no desire to float around in the middle of the ocean arguing with you!"

"Nor do I." Miroku answered.  He was now talking calmly with his eyes closed as if he wasn't paying attention.  He could have been but you NEVER KNOW WITH THEM MONKS NOWADAYS!!

"Then just do what I say!" Kagome yelled.  "Is that so much to ask?!  I take you on this road trip, I spend my money, I try to make you have fun!  I researched the USA for a VERY long time to find all these places and you don't appreciate it at all!  I just want to get back to shore so that we can go to the final states and finally finish this godforsaken road trip!!"

"Lady Kagome, please…" said Miroku.  "I'm trying to meditate."

"Good thing these extra oars were under the seats!" said Sango as she, Inu-Yasha and Shippo paddled vigorously with horseshoe eyes.

"Won't Kagome be surprised!" said Shippo.  

"I suppose if she stopped blindly yelling at Miroku, she'd see what we're doing!" said Inu-Yasha as she watched Kagome yell at the indifferent Miroku.  It was one of those scenes where Kagome moved in fast motion and her voice sounded like a chipmunk.

"What she's saying is making a lot of sense though." Said Sango.  "About her doing so much for us but us not appreciating it."

"What?" said Shippo and Inu-Yasha in unison.

"Let's do something nice for her in the next state!" Sango said as she got all motivated and enthusiastic.

"But we don't know anything about the next state." Said Shippo.

"All we know is that it's called 'Massachusetts' and it is FAR superior to all those OTHER states that try to be like it." Said Inu-Yasha.

"So what better place to cheer her up in?!" Sango said as some sort of common anime background appeared behind her.  You know, the one where the character is DETERMINED.  It could be the one where Sango stands on a rock in front of the ocean as a wave crashes behind her but maybe not.

So with the two physically strongest characters (and Shippo) paddling their hardest, the shore was reached in no time.  They all had to wait for Kagome to stop yelling at Miroku so that she could see where they were because she refused to stop until he was sufficiently lectured.  Then they had to wait for Miroku to finish with his random SPLURGE of meditation because he simply could NOT be interrupted.  Or else!!

"Well THAT was a disaster!" said Kagome as she climbed into the safari jeep with everyone else.

"Yeah…" said Inu-Yasha but he jumped because Sango elbowed him in the stomach.  "I mean, it wasn't TOO bad!"

Miroku raised an eyebrow because Inu-Yasha is not one to make that kind of comment so abruptly.  (Besides, he's not in on Sango's not-so-fiendish plan yet.)

Since Rhode Island is so small, they quickly drove past the sign that said 'Welcome to Massachusetts!  We love you!' and that told them that yes, in fact, they WERE in Massachusetts unless of course, the prodigious Massachusettsians would try and trick you like those foolish Rhode Islands but we would NEVER do that!!  We are far too wonderful to stoop THAT low!!


	45. Massachusetts and A Crazy Reunion in Fun...

"This time Kagome…" said Sango randomly as she watched the sign pass by.  "We're going to surprise YOU and bring you someplace fun!!"

"Like you'd even know the first place to go." Said Kagome with a small laugh.  "I mean, I'VE never been to Massachusetts and I can bet that none of YOU guys have either!"

"Well, since NONE of us have, we can assume we all know the SAME amount." Said Sango.

"All right." Said Kagome.  "Tell me where to go."

"Well, we wanted to surprise you." Said Shippo as he whipped out a blindfold and tied it around Kagome's eyes.  The car swerved and they missed hitting a few orphans in wheelchairs j-wheeling across the street to visit their foster grandparents in the old-folks home.  Inu-Yasha smacked Shippo and then took the blindfold off of Kagome.

"First, pull over." Said Inu-Yasha as he held up the blindfold.

So Kagome, no one knows why, pulled over without an argument.  Then they blindfolded Kagome and sat in silence for a minute.  

"What are we waiting for?" asked Miroku.

"Waiting for YOU to get in the driver's seat and drive us somewhere!" said Inu-Yasha.

"Me?!" Miroku asked excitedly.  But he didn't say anything else in fear that he might get his driving privileges revoked.  So he vaulted over the seats into the driver's seat.  Then he tossed Kagome over to where he had been sitting the whole ride.

Miroku commenced in started the car but not really doing much else except examining the car up and down and sideways and slantways.

"I don't know if I…" started Kagome nervously.

"NONSENSE!!" Sango yelled.  Then they all felt the car move.

"IT'S MOVING!!" Miroku yelled.  

"Feh." Said Inu-Yasha.

"Hm…" said Miroku to himself.  "This little lever thingy turns on this little blinking arrow thingy making a most repetitive clicking sound so…that MUST be how I turn!"

Then he flipped the blinker on just as they were about to make a turn away from a bunch of orphans with brow ridges and facial hair on a field trip but since it doesn't REALLY turn the car he just knocked them over like bowling pins.  Luckily, however, their wheelchairs protected them like a shield.

"So where are we going?" asked Miroku as if that hadn't happened.

Kagome took off her blindfold and looked at everyone.  "Maybe I should drive and you guys can tell me where to go."

"NEVER!!" Miroku yelled.  Then Shippo jumped on her and tied her blindfold back on.  Then the whispering started.  And the worst thing was that Kagome didn't even know who was whispering what!!

"So where would Kagome want to go?"

"To a Grand Mall?" 

"I meant BESIDES there."

"Wait…did I miss something?"

"Yeah, we decided to take Kagome somewhere this time instead of her taking us."

"Very well.  Seems like a plan."

"So should we go to a Grand Mall?"

"Absolutely not."

"What else has Kagome showed interest in?"

"She seemed to like that first place we went to."

"Yeah but I don't want to go there again."

"It was stupid."

"Perhaps the carnival would make her happy.  She seemed thoroughly upset that she was unable to go on a certain ride with Inu-Yasha when we were there the last time."

"Yeah but do you really want to go there again?"

"I don't want to go anywhere that we've already been."

"We've never been to a Grand Mall."

"And I don't intend to ever go to one."

"Shall we take her to a school?"

"No way!  She always talks about how much she hates it!"

"Yeah, I wouldn't want to go somewhere like that!"

"We're supposed to be thinking about KAGOME, not US."

"But do you want to go somewhere stupid just because Kagome likes it?"

"Well, it might not be stupid to her!"

"But we've been going to an AWFULLY large amount of stupid places and I want to stay away from any more of them."

"Yeah, not that we're in charge, we should take her somewhere that we'll ALL like!"

"SUGAR BEATS CONCERT!!"

"NEVER!!!"

"Admit it!  You LOVE them as much as I do!"

"I DO NOT!!"

"Guys!  Be quiet!  She'll HEAR US!!"

"Oh yeah!  Shhhhhh!!"

"Don't SHHHH me!  You were the one that was yelling!"

"Miroku was too!"

"I was yelling nothing that would give away our plans!"

"You guys are yelling again!"

"Yeah!  SHUT UP!"

"YOU TOO!!"

"Feh."

"So, what is our main plan of action?  I have a few suggestions that…"

"WATCH THE ROAD!!!"

HONK HONK SCREEEEEEEEECH!!  Crash, SMASH!!  BAM!!  BOOOOOOOOM!!  WHOA MAN WATCH WHERE YOU'RE DRIVIN'!!  AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Kagome felt herself being rocked around a little bit.  At that point in time, she ripped off her blindfold and looked around only to realize that they were still in the very same spot that they were the last time she put her blindfold on, only parked on the side of the road.  There were no smoking cars or bloody limbs flying around everywhere, and a single car drove down the road.

"I apologize, Lady Kagome." Said Miroku, turning around and seeing that Kagome looked ever so frightened.  "I didn't mean to turn the radio up so loud.  I thought it would certainly start the car but it was only the volume switch!  I hope I didn't startle you."

"Um…no…" said Kagome, taking a deep breath.  "But I think I want to take the wheel…"

"No, no, no, don't trouble yourself!!" said Sango.  "You've been driving this whole time!  Allow us to take over!"

"Yeah, just relax!" said Shippo, whipping out a giant leaf fan.

"Hey, Kagome, is there anything that you want to do in Massachusetts?" Inu-Yasha asked, turning around.

"Silence, Inu-Yasha!" said Miroku.  "We're supposed to surprise her!"

"Well I wouldn't mind going to a grand mall…" Kagome started.

"I meant besides that." Said Inu-Yasha.

"Stop telling her!" Sango said, hitting him upside the head.  He was about to smite her but then he didn't.  …Um yeah.

"Now put your blindfold back on and just trust us!" said Miroku with a content little smile.  Kagome envisioned Miroku growing devil horns and intentionally crashing into some orphans while laughing diabolically just as soon as she put her blindfold on.

"Actually, I feel a little uncomfortable." Kagome confessed.

"Would you prefer if I drove?" Inu-Yasha asked.

Kagome paused and then started dreaming…dreamily.

_The sun was shining with a giant smile and sunglasses as it whistled and the entire scenery bounced up and down being all cutesy cartoony.  Inu-Yasha was driving down the road in a lovely red car with a face and Kagome was sitting in the passenger's seat with the blindfold on.  They were both wearing old fashion Victorian style clothing._

_Inu-Yasha suddenly turned to Kagome and his smile went ping.  "Aren't you glad that we left Miroku, Shippo and Sango behind?" he asked her in a voice that was most certainly not him.  It was more…Ranma._

_"Oh yes!" said Kagome with a giggle.  "I am so glad!  But…oh!  Can't I take my blindfold off yet?"_

_"Not yet!" said Inu-Yasha.  "I want it to be a surprise!  I want to see your excited, surprised face!"_

_"I can't wait!!" said Kagome with a sigh.  Suddenly, Inu-Yasha Jr. and Kagome the Second leaned over and tapped Inu-Yasha on the shoulder. _

_ "Yes, my wonderful and beautiful children?" he said to them with horseshoe eyes._

_"When are we going to get there, dadoo?" asked Inu-Yasha Jr._

_"I can't say!" Inu-Yasha answered.  "That would give away the surprise!  We wouldn't want mumsey to find out!"_

_"You could whisper it to us!  We won't tell her!" said Kagome the Second._

_"Oh you crazy children!" chuckled Inu-Yasha.  "I'm so glad that we have two wonderful children, Kagome."_

_"Soon to be three!" said Kagome with a giggle._

_Inu-Yasha turned to Kagome to see that she was oh-so suddenly extremely pregnant.  He slapped his cheeks and gasped.  Of course, since the car is alive, it just kept on course and didn't crash into any orphans.  "What shall we name THIS one?" wondered Inu-Yasha._

_"I was thinking…Kago-Yasha if it's a girl…and Inu-Gome if it's a boy!" Kagome answered._

_"Oh, this is the best road trip ever!" chuckled the entire family, including the car and the sun._

_"I only wish that our friends, Miroku, Sango and Shippo were here!" sighed Kagome._

_"We are here, Kagome." Came a voice behind her.  She turned around to see Miroku, Shippo and Sango staring at her with raised eyebrows. _

Suddenly, the entire scene crumbled and blew up, and Kagome found herself sitting in the backseat of the safari jeep with everyone staring at her.  "What are you talking about, Kagome?" asked Sango as she shook Kagome around a little bit to make sure she was still alive since she was staring off into space while drooling.

"Are you okay?" asked Miroku.  "You were saying mighty strange things."

"Yeah…that was pretty weird." Said Inu-Yasha as he cleared his throat.  "If it's a boy then we'll name it Kago-Yasha and if it's a girl then we'll name it Inu-Gome!"  (He said this, of course, in a high-pitched voice that didn't sound anything like Kagome.)

"It was the other way around and how did you know?!" Kagome demanded.

"You just said it." Inu-Yasha answered.  "I asked you if you wanted to drive and suddenly you started saying things like that and talking to yourself as if someone was talking to you…"

"I'm so embarrassed!!" said Kagome, looking away from everyone.  Shippo seized this opportunity to put the blindfold on her and then they started driving again because Miroku had been trying to figure out how to start the car back up the entire time and he just figured it out!  HURRAY!!

After a little while, the car suddenly came to a halt.

"We're here!!" declared Miroku as he vaulted over the door and landed outside without even opening it.  "You know, it's a lot easier to jump over things without a long robe."  Then he started chuckling.

"Can I take my blindfold off?!" Kagome said excitedly, so very sure that they were parked outside a grand mall.

"Not yet!" said Inu-Yasha.  "We want it to be a surprise!!"

Sango stared questioningly at Inu-Yasha.  "Did you just say that?" she asked.

"Um…yeah." Said Inu-Yasha.

"Oh, I'm so happy!" said Kagome as some mysterious hand guided her around in the place she was so sure was the grand mall since she was just taken through a double door.  "I even brought my money!"

"Good, cause we don't have any." Said Shippo.

Kagome was getting so excited that she started to hyperventilate.  She could hear the happy children laughing.  It MUST be a grand mall.  The grandest of all the malls.  In Massachusetts!!

"You ready Kagome?!" said Sango.  "I'm taking your blindfold off now!"

"HURRY!!!!!!" screeched Kagome.  And then Sango tore off Kagome's blindfold in slow motion and Kagome opened her eyes and gasped but her look of happiness slowly turned to a look of disappointment and disgust.  Of course, this all happening in slow motion.  "…What is this place?"

"It's 'Fun World'!" said Miroku, pointing to a little sign that said 'Fun World' and a list of how much tokens cost and stuff like that.  "It's Fun…World!  It's fun and it's a world!  The world of fun!  What could be bad about it?!"

Sango elbowed Miroku in the stomach, noticing how very distressed Kagome looked.  "Um…from the outside…it looked like a grand mall." She lied.  "It was shaped like a castle…"

"Malls don't look like castles!!" whined Kagome.

"What's a mall?" Shippo whispered to Miroku since he was perched atop Miroku's shoulder.  Miroku shrugged, causing Shippo to tumble off his shoulder, get a concussion and die.  Thankfully since Kagome has magical tears and she was crying at the time, Shippo was brought back to life instantly!  YAY!!

"YAY!!" cheered Shippo.

"You know it's a grand mall because it's usually bouncing around with musical notes flying out of it!" Kagome continued as if Shippo didn't just die.  "Not to mention the fact that it usually has a sign that says 'GRAND MALL' right on the outside of it!"

"But THIS place looks more fun than any ol' Grand Mall." Laughed Miroku.  Then they dragged Kagome over to the ticket area where you could get your hands stamped and things like that.

"Four adults and one child?  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru.

"Yeah…but…I'm kind of in a bad mood so is there any chance that we could just get in for free with a few free tokens too?" Kagome asked.  She pointed at Inu-Yasha who gave an exasperated sigh.

"Just because this is Massachusetts." He said as he tried to work up a smile but only really succeeded in scaring away many small children.

"You're so KAWAII, younger brother!!" said Sessho-Maru as he forced himself not to faint at the kawaiiness.  He pulled out a stamp and stamped all of their hands and then klunked a gigantic bag of tokens down on the table and Kagome grabbed them and ran off, being all excited, obviously not upset anymore about not being in a Grand Mall.

"There's this game that I've always wanted to play!" said Kagome as she continued talking about a game.  "It's a really fun game where you dance around when the arrows reach the top of the screen and you all have such good foot work and coordination that I figured you'd be really good at it in no time!  Except for you, Shippo.  You can go play in the balls."  She pointed to a gigantic pit of colorful plastic balls.

"YAY!!" cheered Shippo as he darted off to the balls.

"Are you talking about that game that Hiten and Kouga are playing?" asked Inu-Yasha with an annoyed expression.

Kagome turned around and watched as Kouga and Hiten jumped around on the dancing game and then suddenly stopped, wiped their foreheads, chuckled warmly and slapped each other five.  Then they paused for a moment and then it started again.

"WHAT?!" bellowed Kouga's ANGRY voice.  "I TOLD YOU TO STOP PICKING THE BUMBLE BEE SONG!!  IT'S GOING TO GET STUCK IN MY HEAD!!!"

"BUT IT'S THE ONLY ONE I'M GOOD AT!!" Hiten bellowed right back.

"NO!!" yelled Kouga.  "YOU'RE GOOD AT THE BUTTERFLY ONE TOO!!"

"THAT'S ONLY BECAUSE YOU PICKED IT SO MANY TIMES THAT I PRACTICALLY MEMORIZED IT!!"

"I DID NOT!!  YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!!"  And then they started growling and stuff and then noticed that they were getting boos from the game.  They watched as they got a game over.

"Look what you did!!" yelled Hiten.  "You made me waste a dollar!!"

"Look what _I_ did?!" Kouga demanded, appalled.  "I'm not the one with ZERO points!!"

"That's only because you were standing on those arrows!!" Hiten yelled, pointing to Kouga's feet.  "You didn't DO anything!  You just so happen to be standing on those arrows at the time!  I, however, do not need victories by flukes.  As you can see, I am but hovering over the top of the dance pad."  Sure enough, he was.

"How dare you?!" yelled Kouga.  "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!"

"DO YOU KNOW WHO _I _AM?!" yelled Hiten.  Then they both simultaneously had too much blood rushing to their heads and they passed out in the arms of their appointed minions.  Hiten to Manten and Souten, and Kouga to Mohawk Minion and Other Minion.  All the minions gasped dramatically and started fanning their masters while retrieving presents that they can open when they awaken.

"Look!" said Kagome as she frolicked over.  "Now it's open!!"

"NO!!" yelled Mohawk Minion and Manten as they dove on the dancing pads and lied down on them protectively.  "WE MUST SAVE THE SPOTS FOR OUR IDOLS!!!"

"Don't worry, we'll give them up when they wake up." Kagome assured them even though it was probably a lie.

"Well…all right…" said Other Minion and Souten.  Then they dragged their heroes off to get some water to splash on their faces as to revive them.

"Well I'm first!" Kagome declared.  "After all…this IS Massachusetts."

"Of course!" said Sango.  "It IS Massachusetts!"

"That it is." Agreed Miroku and Inu-Yasha at the very same time.

"All right…who wants to go with me?" she asked.

"ME!!" yelled Miroku and Sango since they wanted to make her happy as they threw their arms up in the air.  Inu-Yasha decided not to subject himself to this and stood over in the corner while scoffing like Fox.

Kagome's lip quivered pathetically as she started whining while looking directly at Inu-Yasha.  Miroku and Sango cleared their throats and shuffled over in front of Kagome while waving their arms in front of her but she seemed to be looking right by them as if they didn't exist.

"I don't…really want to play anymore…" said Kagome as she stepped off the dancing pad thing.  "You two have fun…"

Miroku and Sango raised eyebrows at each other, shrugged and lunged for the dancing pad while cheering.  Sango, of course, was the girl 'Emi' and Miroku was of course, the boy 'Rage'.

MEANWHILE!!!

"YAY!!" cheered Shippo as he dove so deep in the balls that he couldn't find his way out.  Then he started crying until some random woman approached him.  He was very happy because this woman could save him.

"Hello little girl." Said the woman.  Shippo was then very disturbed because this woman had the lowest voice in the entire world.

"You're not a woman, you're a man!!" yelled Shippo.

"You're not a little girl, you're a little boy!!" yelled the woman/man creature.

"Hey…YOU'RE NARAKU!!" Shippo said suddenly.

"YOU'RE SHIPPO!!" Naraku yelled.  Then they started crying.  But then they stopped because they didn't know why they started.

"Um…are you still horribly out of character?" Shippo asked.

"Yup." Said Naraku.

"YAY!!" cheered.  "You wanna play in the balls with me?!"

"EVER SO MUCH!!!" screeched Naraku.

MEANWHILE!!!

"Come on, Inu-Yasha, you have to crawl through the tube!" said Kagome with horseshoe eyes as she crawled around in the inside…of a tube.  It was one of those stupid structure things.  Inu-Yasha was close behind her practically swimming in his own sweat and looking all raggity and tired while panting and gasping for air.

"Hair…too heavy…hair…too long…tubes…too small…knees…hurting…" he complained when suddenly, he crashed into Kagome.

"YAY!!" said Kagome.  "This is so much fun!!  This is the slide part!"

"Does it lead to a way out?" Inu-Yasha asked.  He was now wishing that he had played the dancing game with Kagome instead of crawled around in a bunch of brightly colored tubes.

"Yes." Said Kagome.  "I'm going down first!  I'll meet you at the bottom!  And you better come out!"

"Don't worry." Said Inu-Yasha as Kagome sat down on the slide and pushed herself off while hollering like a monkey and having way too much fun because she had to practically push herself down the plastic slide because it was all sweaty and gross.

"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!" screamed Kagome as it echoed through the slide and back up to Inu-Yasha who was now even MORE unhappy since he has super hearing.

"All clear!" came the voice of the person with the megaphone at the bottom of the slide to make sure that small children didn't crash into each other because one got to impatient and went while one was still recovering from the time of their life.

So Inu-Yasha slid down the slide.  There was NO other way for him to get to the bottom otherwise.  When he got to the bottom, he was greeted by the feeling of someone grabbed his arse and pinching hard.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Inu-Yasha demanded as he turned around to view the perpetrator that had so violated him.

"Oh!" exclaimed Jakotsu happily.  "What a pleasant surprise!  Here I was finding a luscious behind to caress only to find out that it belongs to INU-YASHA!!"

"ARGH!!" Inu-Yasha yelled as he ran away from the slide bottom area.

"We HAVE to go back up!" said Kagome.  "There are so many secret passageways I found that I want to explore!"

"I'm not going back up there for many reasons that I don't wish to explain thoroughly!" Inu-Yasha practically yelled as Jakotsu leaned on his shoulder and nodded along with him.

"Fine!" said Kagome.  "Give me ONE good reason!"

Inu-Yasha gave Kagome a questioning look and then pointed at Jakotsu.

"Oh, we can go down a DIFFERENT slide!" said Kagome with a chuckle.

"Not to mention the fact that it's a trillion degrees in there!" Inu-Yasha said, realizing that they COULD go down a different slide.

"If you just put your hair up like me then it wouldn't be as bad!" Kagome said as she shook her finger at Inu-Yasha.  "Hm…you could always just put it up like KOUGA!!"

"NEVER!!!" yelled Inu-Yasha.  Then at that moment, he got so frustrated with Jakotsu that he punted him.

"Did I say Kouga?" said Kagome as she slapped her forehead.  "I meant like Sango when she's wearing her demon exterminator outfit."  Inu-Yasha was just about to start yelling at Kagome again when he stopped and looked as though he was actually considering it.  "And maybe we could even BRAID it!!"

"Braid it?" Inu-Yasha said as his eye twitched.  Then Kagome figured that maybe she shouldn't have said that.

"Well…"

"Forget it!!" yelled Inu-Yasha.  "I REFUSE to put my hair up!!  As I have previously stated, I don't need it!"

"THEN LET'S GO!!" Kagome declared, deciding not to argue with Inu-Yasha anymore.  It's not like she cared that Inu-Yasha was unhappy!!  It's his fault for being incompetent in MASSACHUSETTS!!  She grabbed his hand and pulled him over to the entrance to the structure thing that they were just in and now they're in it again.

MEANWHILE!!!

"I think I'm about ready for MANIAC mode." Said Miroku as he switched from basic to maniac.

"But hosh-sama, you only got a D on that last round!" said Sango.

"Which was better than YOUR E." said Miroku.  "Or all the other Es that we've gotten." 

"Well I'm on 'trick' and you're only on 'basic'!" Sango pointed out.

"So?" said Miroku with a raised eyebrow.

MEANWHILE!!!

Naraku and Shippo were playing in the balls, having a grand old time.  Suddenly, Shippo turned to Naraku.  "You know, I'm traveling with a bunch of people whose soul purpose in life is to destroy you!" he said with horseshoe eyes as if this wouldn't bother Naraku.

It didn't.  "YAY!!" said Naraku.

"Maybe I could tell them that you're not such a bad guy after all and then they won't want to kill you!!" Shippo declared.

"OH GOODY!!!" cheered Naraku as he clapped his hands together knavishly.

MEANWHILE!!!

"I think I did a pretty good job." Said Miroku as he shook his head and mucho sweat flew everywhere.  Sango didn't say anything for she was covered in the very same amount of sweat that he was!  They were just about to continue to foolishly squander all of the tokens that Kagome had graciously given them when suddenly, they felt a tap on their shoulders.  Upon turning around, they were faced with…HITEN AND KOUGA!!!  ARGH!!!

"Excuse us but WE were playing this game." Said Kouga, tapping his foot.

"You're excused." Said Miroku unwisely.

"Hosh-sama…" said Sango nervously, stepping away from the Dance Dance Revolution game.  "I'm not with him."

"You'd better move right now you HUMAN!!" demanded Hiten.  "I don't want to have to kill you in front of my younger siblings' virgin eyes!!"  He pointed at Manten and Souten who were nodding with agreement with their bottom lips quivering.

"Well…I wouldn't want them to have to see gore at such a young age…" said Miroku as he stepped off the dance pad.

"I GET TO BE THE BOY!!!!" yelled Kouga immediately as he jumped on the dance stage thing on the LEFT.

"NO!!" yelled Hiten as he started throwing a temper tantrum.  "You were the boy LAST time!!  It is SO my turn!!"

"I got here first!" said Kouga as he stuck his tongue out at Hiten and laughed diabolically at his expense.  Hiten grabbed onto Kouga's ponytail and started pulling it so Kouga grabbed onto Hiten's braid and started pulling THAT and soon they were running in circles while latched onto each other's hair while snarling ravenously.  Their appointed minions chanted their names.

Before Miroku and Sango could cleverly swipe at least one more game in while Kouga and Hiten were distracted, Kagome frolicked over with a pizza in her hand.

"TIME FOR DIN-DIN!!" she declared.

"DIN-DIN?!" said Kouga and Hiten as they both stopped attacking each other.

"Kagome!" said Kouga as he ran over to Kagome and hugged her.  Luckily, she put the pizza down on the table before Kouga had hugged her.  "I'm so happy to see you!  And without that lowly hanyou!"

Kagome thought for a minute.  "Come to think of it…where IS Inu-Yasha?" she wondered.

MEANWHILE!!!

Inu-Yasha was still crawling through the tube things.  "Kagome?!" he called impatiently.  He sounded rather frustrated.  "I'm tired of playing hide and go seek!  Can we leave now?!  KAGOME?!"  Just then, he saw the faint shadow of someone coming towards him.  He crawled towards it.  "Kagome?" he said as he looked around the corner.

"NOPE!!!" said Jakotsu as he leapt forward and latched onto Inu-Yasha like a big dumb leech that had the basket.  "ONLY ME!!!"

"ARGH!!!" yelled Inu-Yasha as he started struggling to get free from Jakotsu's gay wrath.  "KAGOME!!!"

MEANWHILE!!!

"OH WELL!!!" said Kagome as she sat down at one of the booths with the pizza on it and poured herself a glass of watered down coke and stuck a straw in it contently.

"Kagome, I do believe that this is a good time for us to bond." Said Kouga as he scooted in next to Kagome and sat there as if he were shy and embarrassed but we all know that those are two qualities that Kouga doesn't even know the meaning of.

"Um…okay!" said Kagome as she picked up a slice of pizza and put it on a paper plate.  "Here.  Do you want a piece?"

"Would I ever!!" said Kouga as he took the pizza ONLY because Kagome had given it to him.  He probably would have taken it even if she had given him filet-of-fish or something disgusting like that!!

"Hey!!" yelled Hiten as he shoved Kouga and Kagome further down the booth and sat down as well.  "You can't go hydrating yourself and gaining energy when you think I won't notice!  That's not fair!!"  He then grabbed the pizza off of Kouga's plate and took a bite out of that.

"THAT'S MINE!!!" yelled Kouga.  "KAGOME GAVE IT TO ME!!  NOT YOU!!  GET YOUR OWN!!"

"NEVER!!" Hiten yelled back as the two of them started playing tug-o-war with the piece of pizza.

"Lady Kagome…" said Miroku sitting down on the booth on the other side of the table and pushing himself in so that he was across from Kagome who was squished against the window.  "I…" But then he paused.  "Hm…I seem to have forgot what wistful piece of advice I was going to give you!  Oh well!"  He laughed, picked up a slice of pizza, put it on a plate and then began cutting it with a knife and eating it with a fork.

Kagome raised an eyebrow as Sango slid her way in next to Miroku.  She then started chuckling knavishly because since Sango had sat down next to Miroku, that means she MUST love him!!  It never really occurred to her that Sango didn't really want to sit next to Hiten since he was having a battle with Kouga as we speak.  Their minions were cheering for them, of course.

Just then, Naraku and Shippo came skipping over while holding hands and having horseshoe eyes.  Of course, since Naraku is much taller than Shippo, he was just kind of being tossed around while Naraku swung his arms from side to side.

"KAGOME!!!" HOLL-ered Shippo as he jumped onto the table.  "Is it okay for my new friend to sit with us?!"

Kagome looked up at Naraku and then at Shippo.  "Um…Shippo?" she whispered to him.  "Do you know that your new friend is Naraku?"

"YUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Shippo.

"Well then…I guess it's okay…I guess…" said Kagome as Naraku sat down next to Sango and Shippo sat in his lap.  Sango turned her head and looked at Naraku since she had only just noticed that he was there.  Her mouth hung open like a big ugly fish as she hit Miroku on the shoulder to get his attention.  He joined her on the mouth hanging open like a big ugly fish ritual as they both stared at Naraku.  Just at the very moment, Kouga noticed Naraku out of the corner of his eye and pushed Hiten away while staring at Naraku like another big ugly fish.  Kagome cleared her throat as Sango, Miroku and Kouga all looked at her like a bunch of big ugly fish.

"Well he's horribly out of character…" she started.

"YEAH!!" agreed Shippo.  "HE'S MY FRIEND!!!"

"FRIEND OR NO FRIEND, HE MUST BE THUSLY SMOTE!!!" declared Kouga as he stood up so fast that no one even saw it happen!  He just…CLICKED into position!!  "FOR ALL OF MY MINIONS!!!"

"FOR KOHAKU!!!" yelled Sango as she clicked to the standing up position as well.

"AND FOR…" started Miroku.  "Um…my grandfather, my father AND me!!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" yelled Shippo and Naraku as they shielded their eyes from the wrath of Kouga, Miroku and Sango.

Hiten decided to seize this opportunity to re-braid his hair.  Kouga had pulled out some of the strands while they were fighting and now it didn't look quite as pretty as it normally does.

"KAGOME!!!" HOLL-ered Inu-Yasha from across the room.  Everyone stopped what they were doing and turned their heads to see Inu-Yasha lumbering over with Jakotsu latched onto him.

"Yes Inu-Yasha?" asked Kagome as she tried to suppress her laughter.

"Why did you LEAVE me?" said Inu-Yasha as he got this distressed look on his face.

Kagome gasped.  "You want me by your side?" she said in that voice she gets when this kind of thing happened.

"Otherwise, Jakotsu here thinks I'm free game!" Inu-Yasha said, pointing to Jakotsu who was nuzzling his face into Inu-Yasha's chest.  Inu-Yasha then proceeded to attempt to get Jakotsu off of his body only to not succeed.

"Since you seem to have discovered a new lover, I shall claim Kagome." Said Kouga as he grabbed Kagome and pulled her in close to him.

Jakotsu looked up from his nuzzling to spot Kouga.  "AHA!!" he exclaimed, jumping off of Inu-Yasha and landing on Kouga.  "I never did like white hair."  Then he started nuzzling Kouga.

"ARGH!!" yelled Kouga, running around in circles very fast since he is so incredibly fast.  "GET IT OFF OF ME!!!"

"HA HA HA HA!!" laughed Inu-Yasha as he grabbed Kagome and pulled HER in close, obviously not thinking of what he was doing.  "I'LL take Kagome then!!"  Then he continued to laugh diabolically at Kouga, not realizing that he had just made a grave mistake as Kagome turned completely crimdaughter. 

Meanwhile, Naraku, Sango, Shippo, Hiten and Miroku were are whistling Dixie while eating their pizza.

All of a sudden, Sessho-Maru walked over.  "Hey!  You can't fight here!  This is Massachusetts!!  Sessho." He said.

Everyone stopped whatever they were doing extremely abruptly and then bowed their heads in shame.  It was as if Sessho-Maru had just done an extremely moving and motivating speech that made them all very sorry for what they had just did.  So, they all shook hands, smiled and sat down to have some pizza.

Then Manten and Souten walked over since they were feeling ever so lonely.  Hiten told Souten to sit on his lap and then told Manten that he was far too large so he just fetched a booster seat and sat on that.  Then, Other Minion and Mohawk Minion came over as well and they sat down at the booth too.  Yes, this was one mightily large booth to hold Inu-Yasha, Kagome, Miroku, Sango, Shippo, Naraku, Hiten, Manten, Souten, Kouga, Other Minion, Mohawk Minion, Jakotsu, Sessho-Maru and anyone else I left out.

Kagome slapped herself on the forehead.  "There's no WAY that only ONE pizza is going to feed us ALL!!" she declared.  "We have two options.  1) Force all of you people who aren't part of our group of five to go away or 2) Get more pizzas!!"

They all chuckled warmly for a few minutes and then wiped the tears from their eyes.  Then sat in silence for a moment.

"SCRAM!!!!" Inu-Yasha clarified for everyone who wasn't Shippo, Kagome, Miroku, Sango or himself.  They all immediately took a hint, scoffed at the five and then left with their noses high in the air.

"I'm so rumbly in my tumbly!" Kagome said half to herself as she continued the stuuupid little song.  Little did she know that everyone was listening to her and couldn't help wonder about her mental stability at the moment.  Then she randomly cleared her throat and looked at Inu-Yasha who was sitting next to her.  (Sango was across from her and Miroku was next to her.  Shippo was on Miroku's shoulder using his head as a table.)

"What?" Inu-Yasha asked because Kagome was staring at him.

"About what you said earlier…" she said, blushing.  "When Jakotsu went over to Kouga…you said that…"

"I don't remember what I said." Said Inu-Yasha, talking with his mouth full and spitting pizza crap all over her.  He frowned and then started wiping away some of the crap off her face while saying things like, "Sorry…my bad…let me take care of it…"

Sango randomly decided to look out the window to see that it was night.  "It's kind of late." She said.  Then she looked at the watch that Kagome had bought for her, soon realized that she couldn't tell time and then presented the watch's face to Kagome who slapped her cheeks.  Unfortunately, since she was chewing pizza at that very moment, all the pizza that was in her mouth spewed all over Sango.

"Sorry about that." Said Kagome as Sango retrieved herself a napkin to wipe off the Kagome spew.  "But I was just so surprised because I didn't even REALIZE how much time had passed!!!  It's almost EIGHT O'CLOCK!!!!"

"And?" asked Miroku.

"Well…I just didn't realize how much time had passed…" Kagome said, feeling a tad stupid.

Everyone said oh and continued eating their pizza.

"I have to go and get some more watered down coke!" Kagome declared randomly.  Inu-Yasha refused to move because he felt like being a jerk so Kagome had to climb under the table.  BWA HA HA HA HA HA!!  When Kagome was sufficiently out of earshot, everyone decided to talk about her behind her back while chuckling foolishly until she returned, put the pitcher on the table and climbed back to her seat, not even KNOWING that everyone had just talked about how knavish she was!!

All of a sudden, Kagome gave a mighty yawn and pretended to fall asleep on Inu-Yasha so that he would stroke her head and caress her.  He only raised an eyebrow and pushed her away so she konked her head against the window.

"HEY!!!" HOLL-ered Kagome.  "That wasn't very nice of you!!  In fact, you're ALL being mean to me for no reason whatsoever!  What's the big idea?!  This is Massachusetts!!"

"We've already been nice to you up to the brim and you just disregarded our kind gestures." Said Miroku.

"YEAH!!!!" agreed Shippo.

"Well in that case, I'm going to go and find some NEW friends to sit with!" Kagome said as she climbed under the table and then walked off.  She soon came across Hiten, Manten and Souten who were sitting at a booth eating pizza very contently.  Manten was, of course, sitting on the side alone since Hiten surely told him that he was far too large to share a side with either of them.  Souten was sitting on Hiten's lap.  YAY!!  "May I sit with you?" Kagome asked.

Hiten looked up at Kagome, raised an eyebrow and then scooted down in the seat a little bit.  "Um…okay." He said.

Kagome sat down a little nervously.  She reached out to take a piece of pizza but Hiten slammed his hand down on the table and stood up while growling at Kagome as if he were some kind of animal protected his catch for the day.  It didn't take long for Souten and Manten to join in until they had finally chased Kagome away.  

Kagome was a bit at a loss for words so she went off to find some more of her friends before finally coming to Kouga, Other Minion and Mohawk Minion.  "Hey guys!" she said, waving.  "May I join you?"

"OF COURSE!!" yelled Kouga as he kicked Mohawk Minion out of the seat that was next to him and then brushed the spot off a bit.  Mohawk Minion soon returned and joined Other Minion on the other side of the table.  "I'm so glad you have graced me with your presence!"  He started clearing his throat while staring at Mohawk Minion and Other Minion who were just grinning foolishly until he finally kicked them both in the shins.

"Oh right!" said Other Minion, springing up.  "We were just leaving."  And then they quickly hurried off.

"You didn't have to do that…" Kagome said.

"I'm so happy…" said Kouga as he heart went a flutter.  "That I…I'm so happy that I…please excuse me, Kagome.  I have to go to the bathroom."  Then he leapt over Kagome and ran off as fast as he could (which was pretty fast) to the bathroom.  Kagome sat there alone for a few minutes but then she felt kind of foolish being there all by herself so she stood up and continued her journey to find someone else to sit with.

"Greetings!  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru as Kagome sat down next to him.  He was sitting with Naraku and Jakotsu.

"Wherever is everyone else?" Jakotsu asked as he looked around for a masculine figure.

"They were being mean to me so I left." Kagome answered, wiping a tear from her eye.  Jakotsu looked very sympathetic as he took out a tissue from his shirt and gave it to Kagome.  She blew her nose very loudly.

"Did they say anything, or DO anything that made you feel less good about being an individual?" Naraku asked as he took Kagome's hand and stroked it soothingly.

"Yes." Kagome said.  Then she poured out her heart and soul to three very feminine looking males as they nodded their heads and tried not to cry.  "So what should I do?" asked Kagome.

"I think you should forgive them.  Sessho." Sessho-Maru answered.  

"After all, they had no idea that they were hurting you." Naraku added.

"I like men." Said Jakotsu dreamily.

"Thanks you guys!" said Kagome as she stood up and frolicked off to find the table that she had started at.  You know, the one with Miroku, Sango, Shippo and most of all…Inu-Yasha!!  She hurried over to them as fast as she could only to find them staring obliviously at her as if she didn't belong there while chewing their pizza very slowly.  "Are you guys ready to apologize?" she demanded.

"Apology accepted." Said no one in particular.

"Good!" said Kagome as she crawled under the table and sat back in her seat with a heavy sigh.  "I'm glad we got that one squared away.  So what do you guys say to a long drive on our way to New Hampshire?"

"I doubt it will be very long, Lady Kagome." Said Miroku.

"You're right." Said Kagome.  "But you wanna go anyway?"

"Yeah!!" said Shippo as he wiped his face and hands on Miroku's shirt as if Miroku wouldn't care.  Well…he didn't.  YAY!!  They all paraded over to the door of Fun World and said goodbye to the numerous people they had met there and then piled into the safari Jeep.  They were all very heartbroken when they came across the sign that said, 'You are now leaving Massachusetts.  We'll miss you!' and then seeing the sign that said, 'We're not as great as Massachusetts but, hey, we're New Hampshire and we welcome you to our humble state!'


	46. New Hampshire and a "Haunted" Bed & Brea...

Kagome gave a disappointed sounding sigh when they all entered New Hampshire.

"Whatever is the matter, Lady Kagome?" asked Miroku.

"I always feel bad when I leave Massachusetts." Kagome answered.

"I thought you said that you had never been to Massachusetts prior to our excursion earlier." Said Sango.

Kagome decided to ignore Sango and just continue her merry life.  "Okay… it's kind of late…it's almost nine." She reported.  "I doubt we can get much done since everything usually closes at around this time.  And besides…I'm feeling a bit down…"

She then gave another sigh and pulled into a parking lot where the sign said 'Bed & Breakfast'.  "We'll stay here the night." She said as she got out of the safari jeep that they had stolen from Sessho-Maru way back in Delaware.  Everyone shrugged and followed Kagome up to the little house where they knocked on the door and a very happy Spanish looking couple greeted them at the door and hugged them while beckoning them into the little house area place.

They all walked and were led to the rooms they would be sleeping in.  It was another boys to one room and girls to another room kind of situation and then they kicked back for the night.

Around midnight, the Spanish woman (she will be Macramé) came into the room where Sango and Kagome were.

"What?" asked Kagome as Macramé shook her awake.  Since Kagome was on the top bunk, she rolled over and plunged to her doom but didn't die.  PHEW!!  Sango woke up too and Macramé instructed them to get dressed.

"What's going on?" asked Sango.

"It's a ritual we perform every night!" Macramé responded.  "It's the reason we never get many customers."

"Oh." Said Sango.

Meanwhile, in the boys' room, Roberto was waking up all the males.  They were a bit more stubborn than the foolish people of the female gender.

"DON'T MAKE ME SMITE YOU!!!" Inu-Yasha threatened.

"I don't think you have smote a single person this entire trip." Said Miroku as he buttoned his collar.  "I actually believe that I'VE done most of the smiting…"

"What are we doing?!" demanded Shippo.

"We are secretly part of an evil Bed & Breakfast cult and we're going to sacrifice your souls to our gods." Roberto answered.  Miroku, Inu-Yasha, Shippo all nodded and said 'aha…'

 They all followed Roberto down the stairs since they weren't feeling too bright at the moment.  They soon met up with Macramé, Kagome and Sango who were acting just as oblivious as they were.

THE NEXT MORNING!!!!

The next morning, everyone woke up and went down the stairs to have some breakfast.  They sat down and took some sip of wine and ate some bread and then wondered where their REAL breakfast was hidden when suddenly, Roberto and Macramé walked in with huge plates of eggs, bacon and other breakfast items.  Everyone cheered and then ate some and Macramé even joined them.

"Well…I think it's time we left." Said Kagome as she started to stand up.

"But you've only just come!" said Macramé.  "Not but moments ago!"

"Huh?" asked no one in particular.

"All your stuff is still in the car!" said Roberto as he walked in with a bunch of suitcases and then he paused.  "Well…now they're not…"

"Oh…for some reason I thought we had already stayed the night…" said Kagome slowly.  Everyone shrugged and said whatever and began to frolic and play the Eskimo way until it was finally time to go to sleep again.  And they did.

Macramé and Roberto snuck into their rooms at night again and everything happened all over again.

Then the next morning arrived.

Everyone woke up and went down the stairs to have some breakfast.  They sat down and took some sip of wine and ate some bread and then wondered where their REAL breakfast was hidden when suddenly, Roberto and Macramé walked in with huge plates of eggs, bacon and other breakfast items.  Everyone cheered and then ate some and Macramé even joined them.

"This all seems vaguely familiar to me." Said Miroku randomly.

"Have you been to a Bed & Breakfast before?" asked Kagome.

"Um…no." said Miroku with a shrug.

"I seem to be having a strange feeling of doing this before as well." Said Sango and Shippo at the exact same time.

"Hey…I SWEAR we've done this before!!" Kagome declared.

Inu-Yasha was eating.  He didn't contribute.  He couldn't care less.  In fact, he wouldn't mind if he stayed forever because this food was yummy.

"But you've only just come!" said Macramé.  "Not but moments ago!"

"Huh?" asked no one in particular.

"All your stuff is still in the car!" said Roberto as he walked in with a bunch of suitcases and then he paused.  "Well…now they're not…"

"This is kind of weird…" said Kagome.  "Maybe we're just all having the very same dream about this place."

Then they all shrugged it off and played checkers and listened to the Backstreet Boys until they thought their heads would explode, which wasn't a very long time.  Finally, they decided that it was time to hit the sack.

Once again, Macramé and Roberto entered their room at midnight.

THE NEXT MORNING!!!

The next morning, everyone woke up and went down the stairs to have some breakfast.  They sat down and took some sip of wine and ate some bread and then wondered where their REAL breakfast was hidden when suddenly, Roberto and Macramé walked in with huge plates of eggs, bacon and other breakfast items.  Everyone cheered and then ate some and Macramé even joined them.

"I even have to admit that we've done this twice before." Said Inu-Yasha.

"But you've only just come!" said Macramé.  "Not but moments ago!"

"Huh?" asked no one in particular.

"All your stuff is still in the car!" said Roberto as he walked in with a bunch of suitcases and then he paused.  "Well…now they're not…"

"Hey…we know what's going on now!!" said Kagome, standing up.  "You're just trying to make us stay longer so that you can continue to live off of our youth for your evil Bed & Breakfast cult, aren't you?!"

"No." said Macramé and Roberto.

"Oh, okay." Said Kagome, sitting back down.  "My bad."  After breakfast, they ate many many tubs of cookie dough until they thought they would surely barf all over Macramé and Roberto and each other so they all went to bed a little early so they could sleep it off.  That night, like all the others, Roberto and Macramé came into their rooms.

THE NEXT MORNING!!!

The next morning, everyone woke up and went down the stairs to have some breakfast.  They sat down and took some sip of whine and ate some bread and then wondered where their REAL breakfast was hidden when suddenly, Roberto and Macramé walked in with huge plates of eggs, bacon and other breakfast items.  Everyone cheered and then ate some and Macramé even joined them.

No one really said anything.  Third time's a charm!

"But you've only just come!" said Macramé before they could comment about doing this already.  "Not but moments ago!"

"Huh?" asked no one in particular.

"All your stuff is still in the car!" said Roberto as he walked in with a bunch of suitcases and then he paused.  "Well…now they're not…"

"You guys are just putting our stuff back in the car so that we'll THINK we've only just arrived!" said Kagome angrily.  "Well, whether it's true or not we're leaving right now!  Right guys?!"

"YEAH!!!" yelled everyone.  And with that, they all left the creepy Bed & Breakfast place, never to return again.

"Now I can see why New Hampshire isn't as superior as Massachusetts." Said Kagome.  "Well, besides the fact that it's NOT Massachusetts but it has these freak Bed & Breakfast places and Massachusetts has FUN WORLD!!!"  Then she smiled brightly and turned up the music.  It was a head banger song.  They all started banging their heads and the song ended just in time for Kagome to miss some children WITH parents who were crossing the street.  Just kidding, they were REALLY orphans.

"Finally, it's Vermont." Said Miroku as if he REALLY cared that they were finally in Vermont.


	47. The Water Country in Vermont

"I wanted to do this in New Hampshire but I decided against it because we've stayed long enough in that state." Said Kagome as she pulled into a Water Country in Vermont.

Inu-Yasha groaned.

"No!" he yelled.  "No more tube crawling!"

"You've got it all wrong, Inu-Yasha!" said Kagome.  "These are all slides!"

"I didn't like those either."

"Well, these are different!" said Kagome.  "These are WATER slides!"

"Okay." Said Inu-Yasha sarcastically.  "Now that's different."

Kagome parked the car and climbed out.  Then she went into the trunk and retrieved their bathing suits.

"Why is mine still wet?" asked Sango.

"I forgot to let them dry." Admitted Kagome.  "Careful, they probably smell really bad."

"I noticed." Said Inu-Yasha as he held the bathing suit an arm's length away from himself.

"Well, mine's dry." Said Miroku.  "And it doesn't smell bad either."

"That's because you didn't wear it last time." Said Kagome.

"I am quite aware of that, Lady Kagome."

Kagome lead them all up to the cashier lady where you get your little wristband thingys.

"He's a little too small to go down any of the slides." Said the lady as she pointed to Shippo.  "He's about three feet under the minimum."

"That's okay, he can just go in the kiddie pool." Explained Kagome.

"YAY!!" Shippo cheered.

Then the lady turned to Inu-Yasha, Sango and Kagome.

"The management must require that the three of you put your hair up." She explained.  "The filters get far too clogged and we are afraid that you may get caught or something like that."

Sango and Kagome shrugged and put their hair up.  Inu-Yasha wasn't about to go down without a fight!

"Why is EVERYONE trying to get me to put my hair up?!" he demanded.

"Because it's so long!" Kagome yelled as she pulled his hair.

"So anyway…" said the lady.  "Each of you costs twenty dollars."

Kagome decided to be sneaky.  She handed the lady twenty dollars for all four of them and then RAN into the park before the lady could say anything.

The lady shrugged and decided not to lose any sleep over it and she allowed the other three to enter as well.

She waved to them and bid them a good time but oh so suddenly started looking as though she was trying to hold her breath.  She turned red and then all of a sudden:

"Sessho." She said.  Then she pulled off her mask to reveal that she was REALLY SESSHO-MARU!!  ARGH!!!

So anyway…

Everyone had already changed into their bathing suits.  YAY!!!

"If I have put my hair up, then I REFUSE to go down any of these slides!" Inu-Yasha bellowed as Kagome stood in front of him with a brush in one hand and Shippo's bow in the other.  "ESPECIALLY if I have to wear Shippo's bow!"

"The management said that you had to!" Kagome whined.

"Then I just won't go on any of these." Said Inu-Yasha with a scoff.

"Please Inu-Yasha!" Kagome begged.  "I've wanted to do something with you this ENTIRE trip but you've made my life so hard!"

"Hey!" Inu-Yasha yelled as if he were offended.  "I went in those stupid tubes with you!"

"You ABANDONED ME!!!" Kagome cried.

"I did not!" Inu-Yasha bellowed.  "If I remember correctly, YOU were leading!"

"FINE!!" Kagome yelled as she grabbed Miroku and Sango's hands and dragged them off to the first slide.

Miroku looked up at the slides and the people sliding down and landing in the pools.

"This looks invigorating!" he exclaimed as the three of them got in the line excruciatingly long line.  "I can hardly wait!"

So they waited in line for about an hour when finally…

"WE'RE HERE!!" Kagome exclaimed.  Then she pushed past Miroku and Sango whom she had earlier told could go first.  She sat down on the slide and then the little attendant guy told her that she could go so she did.  HURRAH!!

Sango got up next and slid down as well.

Then Miroku stepped up to go.

"Sir…" said the attendant guy.  "I'm going to have to ask you to remove your jewelry."

"I'm not wearing any jewelry." Said Miroku as he subconsciously checked for what the man was looking for.

"Yes you are." Said the guy monotonously.  "Oddly enough, you have a necklace wrapped around your arm.  Please remove it."

MEANWHILE!!!

Kagome and Sango were waiting at the bottom of the slide for Miroku.

Sango cupped her hands over her mouth.

"HOSH-SAMA!!" she yelled up to the top as if he would hear her.

Suddenly Miroku came out of nowhere looking distraught.

"I waited in that horrible line for NOTHING!" he said.

"Did you chicken out or something Miroku?" asked Kagome with a sinister grin.

"No I did NOT 'chicken out'!" Miroku said as he did the little quotes.  "The poor excuse for authority said that I wasn't allowed on the ride because I have a curse!  Can you BELIEVE that?!  So I'm not allowed on any of the slides simply because of THAT!  I feel so handicapped!!  I'm perfectly capable of doing this!  It's not like I'm in a wheelchair or something!"

"Isn't that ironic?" asked Kagome.

"What?"

"The fact that you feel like the orphans in wheelchairs that we so frequently ALMOST hit?"

"Now why'd you have to bring THAT up?" Miroku asked as if he were hurt.  "Now I am a handicapped orphan, is that what you're saying?  The world is SO cruel to me!  I'm just trying to live a NORMAL life and people are always discouraging me just because I'm different!  Oh what a nasty hand I have been dealt in life!"

Suddenly Kagome and Sango slapped him on each side of his face.  He looked surprised as he looked at the two of them.

"I'm sorry." Miroku said calmly.  "It might have been the work of a demon, it shall be taken care of immediately."

Then Miroku put a demon ward on his face and walked off to cleanse himself of all his impurities.

MEANWHILE!!

"So you're the boy's father?" asked Pool Man Bob to Inu-Yasha as he pointed to Shippo who frolicked happily in the kiddie pool.

"Yes." Answered Inu-Yasha.  "That is why I MUST go in with him."

Suddenly Miroku walked up and tapped Inu-Yasha on the shoulders.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"It's way too hot to just SIT here!" Inu-Yasha yelled.  "My pride is at stake so I'm not putting my hair up but I don't have to in the kiddie pool."

"So NO rules apply in the kiddie pool?" Miroku asked.

"No."

"Then let's go in!"

"We can't unless we are with our child." Inu-Yasha answered with a sigh.

"We don't have a child." Miroku said.

"I know that." Inu-Yasha answered.  "Which is why I'm trying to pass Shippo off as my kid."

"But that way, only ONE of us can go in." Miroku said.  Then he turned to Pool Man Bob.  "Don't listen to this man, I am the boy's REAL father."

"WHAT?!" Inu-Yasha yelled.  "I'M his dad!"

"So are you BOTH his dad?" Pool Man Bob asked with a raised eyebrow.

"…Yes…" they both said at the same time.

"I see no resemblance between EITHER of you and the kid." Said Pool Man Bob.

"Uh…" Miroku started.  Then he pointed to Inu-Yasha.  "His mother dyed her hair!" 

"I'M his mother?!" Inu-Yasha bellowed.  

"YOU'RE his mother?"

"NO!!" Inu-Yasha yelled.

"SILENCE WIFE!!" Miroku said as he smacked Inu-Yasha on the head.

"This man is clearly NOT your wife." Said Pool Man Bob.

"Fine." Said Miroku.  "I am the wife.  He is my husband."

"YOU ARE BOTH MEN!!" Pool Man Bob yelled as he lost his temper. 

"NOW we are!" said Miroku.  "How would you know that this man next to me is not…a transvestite?"

"A what?" asked Inu-Yasha.

"I'll explain later." Whispered Miroku.

By now, Pool Man Bob was getting a little freaked out.  "Uh…whatever.  You both can go in.  I was just being annoying and not letting you both in.  I don't even work here."

"YAY!!" Miroku and Inu-Yasha cheered as they jumped into the water that was about a foot deep.

"So Miroku…" started Inu-Yasha.  "What's a transvestite?"

"It's a…uh…a hanyou!" Miroku lied.

"Oh." Said Inu-Yasha.  "Clearly he must have feared my wrath."

"Clearly." Said Miroku as he rolled his eyes. 

They trudged around trying to find the deepest part of the kiddie pool for a little while but the whole thing was EQUAL in length.

"Miroku, are you as hot as I am?" Inu-Yasha asked as he almost started panting like a dog but stopped himself at the last second.

"I think I am far hotter than you are!" Miroku answered.

"So we're starting THIS again?" Inu-Yasha sighed.  "I will always be hotter than you with this long hair."

"That doesn't necessarily make you hotter." Miroku said.

"Kagome said it did."

"No, I believe she said that the short hair made you hotter." Miroku said as he crossed his arms.

"But that makes no sense!" Inu-Yasha yelled as if it really matters.  "How could I be hotter with short hair!  It's like a shaggy blanket on my back!"

"Well, disregarding the hair, I think I am hotter."

"What makes YOU hotter than me?"

"I'm wearing this glove thing!  It's like wearing long sleeves!"

"On ONE arm!" Inu-Yasha yelled.  "One FOREarm."

"What are you trying to get at, Inu-Yasha?" Miroku asked.  "Are you trying to say that MY extra coverings don't matter but YOURS do?"

"I have more than enough hair to cover my entire back and you think we're equal because you've got something covering your forearm?"

"This thing is made of leather!" Miroku said as he tugged on his little glove thing.  "Plus, it covers my hand as well!"

"SO?!"

"We'll just have to get a second opinion." Miroku said as he walked up to some beautiful woman with her small, disgusting child.  "Excuse me, miss."

"Yes?" asked the lady.

"My comrade and I were having a debate." Miroku explained.  "He believes that he is hotter than I am just because he has long hair.  I say that long hair doesn't necessarily make one hotter, would you agree?"

"Hm…" said the lady.  (Just to tell you, she's a single mother and quite young and free so she was actually considering them on terms of attractiveness and not body temperature.  HAW HAW HAW!!) She began critiquing them and offering them a few suggestions.  "First, you with the black hair…"

Miroku smirked at Inu-Yasha.

"If you took your hair down, you'd be MUCH hotter." Said the lady.  "The whole tied back tightly look just doesn't do it."

"So it IS the hair!" Inu-Yasha announced triumphantly.

"You've just got too much hair." Said the lady as she pointed to Inu-Yasha.  "It's practically taking over your body."

"So wouldn't that make me hotter?" Inu-Yasha asked.

"No." answered the lady.  "Perhaps if you cut off about HALF of your hair, you'd be a lot hotter."

"So medium length hair is the way to go?" asked Miroku.

"Let me see yours." Said the lady.  "Take it down."

"I'd rather not." Said Miroku.  "If it will make me hotter, I wish to avoid that."

MEANWHILE!!

"Sango, that man was flirting with you!" Kagome said as the medic people carried away some GUY who was all beat up and stuff.

"Well, it could just be ME but I don't like it when guys untie my bathing suit top!" Sango answered as she was escorted to the front of the park.

"No, you did the right thing." Said Kagome.  "I was just ANNOUNCING it!  You definitely should have beaten him up!  THE ONLY ONE FOR YOU IS MIROKU!!"

Two little men with unibrows and handcuffs came over and told Sango that she wasn't allowed to go on anymore slides.

"So since none of us can go on the slides anymore, can we leave?" asked Sango to Kagome.

"Are you kidding?" Kagome yelled.  "I can still go on the rides!!"

Then she ran off and left Sango in her dust.

Sango wandered over to the kiddie pool to where Miroku and Inu-Yasha were still talking to the lady.

"If it isn't Sango!" Miroku announced.  "We can get HER opinion too!"

"On what?" Sango asked.

"We're once again disputing over who is hotter." Miroku answered.  "This lady seems to think that I'd be REALLY hot if I took my hair down but she thinks that Inu-Yasha has too much hair and he'd be hotter with a haircut."

"Uh…well…why are you asking me?!" Sango asked as she became all flustered.  (Once again, for you stupid folk out there, Kagome educated her.)

"Who's hotter?" Inu-Yasha asked.  "Me, right?  I mean, look at me!"

"I don't want to be dragged into this again!" Sango said with a blush.

"If we are compelled to count every minutia of covering on a person…" started Miroku.  "Sango is definitely the hottest."

"Do you really think that, Hosh-sama?" Sango asked as she looked at Miroku.

"I wouldn't have said it if I didn't." Miroku answered.

"Uh…" Sango stuttered.  "I'm going to go find Shippo!"

Then she ran off.

"Speaking of the little rodent!" Inu-Yasha announced.  "How hot do you think HE is?"

"HE?" the lady asked.  (Her name is Cogsworth.)

"I'm been put under the impression that Shippo is male but one can never tell!" Miroku said with a chuckle.  

"Shippo's too small to be hot." Inu-Yasha said as if that meant anything.  "But he DOES have that puffy thing on his ass!"

"I have to go!" said Cogworth as she dragged her child off while blocking his/her ears.

"This is just getting old!" Miroku yelled.  "What is this, the THIRD time we started arguing about body temperature?!"

"WHATEVER!!" Inu-Yasha HOLL-ered.

"Everyone seems to have a warped sense of EVERYTHING here!" Miroku continued.

"Hey…I SAID whatever." Said Inu-Yasha, annoyed.

"I heard you, you vermin." Said Miroku.

"What did you just call me?  A vermin?" Inu-Yasha said as he started stomping towards Miroku.  "You called me that for no reason!"

"So?" Miroku scoffed as he adjusted his bathing suit.

"SOMEBODY'S angry for no reason whatsoever!" Inu-Yasha said as he started splashing Miroku.

"Hey!!" yelled Miroku.  "I was trying to stay on a roll of keeping my bathing suit dry the whole time!  Well if that's the way you want to play it then I'm going to splash you too!!"

"Not if I do it first!!" threatened Inu-Yasha.  One would think that they were joking around.  But no.  They were completely serious.

"You're so short tempered and obnoxious to be around!" Miroku commented.

"Well I didn't like you from the beginning!!" said Inu-Yasha.

"I NEVER liked you!  Even BEFORE I met you I hated you!!"

"Yeah right!"

"I had heard about a lowly hanyou running around collecting Shikon Shards and I decided right then and there that I hated you because _I _was collecting them as well and you were just making my life more difficult!"

"Yo mama!!" said Inu-Yasha since he didn't really know how to retaliate against that comment.

"Don't you go talking about my mama!" said Miroku.

"Yo mama was a HUMAN!!"

"So was yo mama."

"Oh right…well, I guess that's not really an insult for either of us."

"Yo mama was NARAKU and yo daddy was KOUGA!"

"Well yo mama was Sessho-Maru and yo daddy was Jaken!!"

"Sessho-Maru is yo BROTHAH!!!"

"Oh no!!  That's true!!" then Inu-Yasha started wallowing.

Miroku pondered for a moment.  "Well…if my mother was Sessho-Maru and he's also your brother then that would make you…my uncle?"

"Sessho-Maru is not your mother you idiot!" said Inu-Yasha as he hit Miroku upside the head.  "Let's keep in mind the fact that Sessho-Maru is of the male gender!"

"Could have fooled me!" chuckled Miroku.  They both started chuckling when suddenly, Sessho-Maru came out of nowhere wearing a bright red Speedo since that's really the only kind of bathing suit he owns.

"Is someone calling my name?  Sessho." He asked.  "Because I keep hearing people call me.  Sessho."

"We weren't calling you." Said Inu-Yasha.  "We were just talking about you behind your back."

"Oh.  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru sadly with a nod.  "That's not very nice.  Sessho."

Then he started walking away with his head hung low.

"Let's find everyone else and leave." Said Miroku.

And they did that.

After a little while, they all reached MAINE!!!  AT THE SAME TIME!!!  But actually…Inu-Yasha and Kagome entered Maine before Miroku, Shippo and Sango since those three were in the backseat.  But we're not counting split seconds here you knave!!


	48. An Insane Test To Get to Canadia From Ma...

Kagome decided to drive right through Maine since she didn't like it because it had a big stupid butt on the top of it.  She was trying to explain it to her comrades just like we're trying to explain it to you but they just didn't see it kind of like you don't see it right now.  For all of you who need a REAL reason, Kagome was just getting sick of the US and wanted to go to Canadia where they would eventually make their way to ALASKA!!!

"I'm sorry that that there's a new rule that everyone entering Canadia from Maine must take this really obscure test that proves nothing and will not come back to haunt you later no matter how poorly you do on it." Said some random man who prevented them from entering.

Instead of actually writing out a chapter, we're just going to write the test and everyone's response to it.  It'll be fun!  It'll be like a brand new exciting challenge for the world!!!!

**What is your name?**

_Kagome Higurashi_

**What is your last name?**

_Higurashi_

**What is your favorite color?**

_Red_

**Why do you want to go to Canadia?**

_I really just want to go right through it and go to Alaska because Canadia is stupid._

**Can you cross your eyes?**

_No!  WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!_

**Do you have an 'innie' or an 'outie'?**

_An innie_

**How much money to do you make a year?**

_None!  I'm a student!_

**How much do you weigh?**

_I'm not tallin'!_

**Do you Digivolve into Ikkakumon on a regular basis?**

_All the time!_

**Who is your favorite Jedi?**

_Teenage Anikan!  He's so kawaii_

**Who is your current 'crush'?**

_Inu-Yasha_

**Have you had any past 'crushes'?**

_Teenage Anikan and Hojo and Leonardo DiCaprio_

**Can you wiggle your ears?**

_No!  WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!_

**Do you pick your nose?**

_EW!!!  NO!!_

**Which hand do you write with?**

_My right hand!_

**Do you have any speech impediments?**

_Not to my knowledge except for the fact that I subconsciously add a suffix at the end of everyone's name._

**Do sex jokes make you laugh?**

_They're yucky_

**Are you a potty mouth?**

_No_

**Do you believe in the Boogy Man?**

_Yes.  He's so scary._

**How much do you get from the Tooth Fairy?**

_A WHOLE dollar!!_

**Do you celebrate Chanukah or Christmas?**

_Christmas!!!  YAY!!_

**How do you spell Hannukah?**

_I've never really thought about it!  OH WELL!!!_

**How much wood do you believe a woodchuck can chuck?**

_A WHOLE LOG!!!!!_

**What is your name?**

_Inu-Yasha_

**What is your last name?**

_(no response given)_

**What is your favorite color?**

_Red_

**Why do you want to go to Canadia?**

_Kagome dragged me here_

**Can you cross your eyes?**

_I've never tried.  Wait…nope._

**Do you have an 'innie' or an 'outie'?**

_What?_

**How much money to do you make a year?**

_Um…I don't know…none_

**How much do you weigh?**

_I don't know.  Should I know?_

**Do you Digivolve into Ikkakumon on a regular basis?**

_No._

**Who is your favorite Jedi?**

_What the hell is a Jedi?_

**Who is your current 'crush'?**

_Kikyo/Kagome_

**Have you had any past 'crushes'?**

_Kikyo/Kagome_

**Can you wiggle your ears?**

_Not as a human, but otherwise yes_

**Do you pick your nose?**

_No_

**Which hand do you write with?**

_Right?_

**Do you have any speech impediments?**

_No_

**Do sex jokes make you laugh?**

_No_

**Are you a potty mouth?**

_No_

**Do you believe in the Boogy Man?**

_No_

**How much do you get from the Tooth Fairy?**

_No_

**Do you celebrate Chanukah or Christmas?**

_No_

**How do you spell Hannukah?**

_No_

**How much wood do you believe a woodchuck can chuck?**

_No_

**What is your name?**

_SHIPPO_

**What is your last name?**

_YAY!!!  CHEERED SHIPPO._

**What is your favorite color?**

_ORANGE!!!!_

**Why do you want to go to Canadia?**

_I don't know!!!!  WHATEVER KAGOME WANTS TO DO!!!  I HAVE NO SAY IN THE MATTER!!!!_

**Can you cross your eyes?**

_YEAH!!!!  YAHOO!!!!_

**Do you have an 'innie' or an 'outie'?**

_I LOVE BELLYBUTTONS!!!!!  MINE'S AN OUTIE!!!!_

**How much money to do you make a year?**

_DEPENDS ON MY ALLOWANCE!!!  ACTUALLY, I DON'T GET ANY!!!_

**How much do you weigh?**

_PROBABLY LESS THAN TEN POUNDS!!!!_

**Do you Digivolve into Ikkakumon on a regular basis?**

_HURRAH!!!!_

**Who is your favorite Jedi?**

_ME!!!!!!!!!!!!_

**Who is your current 'crush'?**

_I DON'T LOVE ANYONE!!!  I'M JUST A KID!!!_

**Have you had any past 'crushes'?**

_SATSUKI/KAGOME/SOUTEN AND SOME OTHER PEOPLE!!!!!_

**Can you wiggle your ears?**

_YEAH!!!!  I'LL SHOW YOU LATER!!!!_

**Do you pick your nose?**

_YUMMY!!!_

**Which hand do you write with?**

_THIS ONE!!!_

**Do you have any speech impediments?**

_I HAVE 'EM ALL!!!_

**Do sex jokes make you laugh?**

_NO!!!_

**Are you a potty mouth?**

_YES!!_

**Do you believe in the Boogy Man?**

_YES!!_

**How much do you get from the Tooth Fairy?**

_I HAVEN'T LOST ANY TEETH YET!!!_

**Do you celebrate Chanukah or Christmas?**

_CHRISTMAS!!!_

**How do you spell Hannukah?**

_HANNUKAH!!_

**How much wood do you believe a woodchuck can chuck?**

_ELEVEN!!!_

As a side note: Shippo had many spelling errors so we had to correct them.  His handwriting is horrible so we might have gotten some of it wrong.  And Shippo only knows how to write in capital letters and he's extremely exclaimation point happy.

**What is your name?**

_Miroku_

**What is your last name?**

_N/A_

**What is your favorite color?**

_I have no real preference but in terms of clothes I do enojy wearing purple over some other color.  I most certainly would never wear red because after looking at one of my comrades, I know never to make that mistake._

**Why do you want to go to Canadia?**

_I have no idea.  In fact, I don't really know how large Canadia is.  I didn't even know about its existence prior to reading this question.  I assume that Lady Kagome will attempt to take us to a Grand Mall most unfortunately._

**Can you cross your eyes?**

_I can do it if I put my finger on my nose very slowly.  If I follow my finger to my nose…but once I put my finger down, I can't cross my eyes anymore.  I tried looking in the mirror once to see if I was successfully crossing my eyes but in order to do that, I had to uncross my eyes, thus defeating the whole purpose to begin with._

**Do you have an 'innie' or an 'outie'?**

_I'm not exactly sure what you're trying to get at with this question so I will randomly drop my pencil down on the paper and wherever it lands, I will just write.  Innie._

**How much money to do you make a year?**

_It really depends on how much I swindle.  But I can tell you this, it's not nearly as much as I would like to.  After all, I am but a humble monk._

**How much do you weigh?**

_How would one go about weighing themselves?  I realize it's rather counter productive to answer a question with a question…oh well…_

**Do you Digivolve into Ikkakumon on a regular basis?**

_It's on my list of things to do.  I'll get to it eventually._

**Who is your favorite Jedi?**

_I have not been informed on the purpose of a Jedi.  Therefore, I do not know how to use one so I cannot state on this paper which one I prefer over others.  I'll stick with the majority._

**Who is your current 'crush'?**

_That lady behind the counter was rather attractive._

**Have you had any past 'crushes'?**

_Pretty much every attractive lady I have come across.  Then again, I don't really love any of them.  I just find them appealing and want them to bear my child._

**Can you wiggle your ears?**

_I cannot say I have ever tried.  I'm not even sure how I would do it if I even did try.  Perhaps I shall.  But not right now for I am taking this test…_

**Do you pick your nose?**

_I can't say I have.  I find it to be a rather disgusting habit.  As a monk, I was turned against it by my stepparent early on in life._

**Which hand do you write with?**

_Well…I suppose I write with both of them.  If you're asking which one I'm writing with right now then I would have to say my right because that is true.  But then again, if you're getting at the fact in wondering which one looks better when I write with it then I will have to stick with the right hand.  I usually write my demon wards with my left hand though._

**Do you have any speech impediments?**

_No._

**Do sex jokes make you laugh?**

_Sex jokes?  First of all, I am a humble monk.  Second of all, I don't understand how sex is at all a funny subject.  The only reason it exists is to reproduce and bear children.  How is that funny at all?  I don't know.  I laugh at them anyway._

**Are you a potty mouth?**

_Absolutely not!  What kind of monk do you think I am?!_

**Do you believe in the Boogy Man?**

_Did I not already clarify that I do not pick my nose?_

**How much do you get from the Tooth Fairy?**

_I had no idea that such a being existed.  I assume that since this creature is a fairy that it is also female.  Is it attractive?  Will she be willing to bear my child for me?  If so, I could possibly receive a child from her._

**Do you celebrate Chanukah or Christmas?**

_I have never heard of either!_

**How do you spell Hannukah?**

_I would assume that it's spelled 'Hannukah' considering the fact that this official test has spelled that way._

**How much wood do you believe a woodchuck can chuck?**

_A woodchuck can't chuck wood despite the misleading name._

**What is your name?**

_Sango_

**What is your last name?**

_I don't need one._

**What is your favorite color?**

_Pink_

**Why do you want to go to Canadia?**

_I don't.  Kagome's making me._

**Can you cross your eyes?**

_No._

**Do you have an 'innie' or an 'outie'?**

_An innie_

**How much money to do you make a year?**

_It depends on how much work I get._

**How much do you weigh?**

_That's personal!  I would slap you if you were right here!_

**Do you Digivolve into Ikkakumon on a regular basis?**

_No._

**Who is your favorite Jedi?**

_Yoda_

**Who is your current 'crush'?**

_NO!!!!!!!_

**Have you had any past 'crushes'?**

_NO!!!!!!!_

**Can you wiggle your ears?**

_No_

**Do you pick your nose?**

_No._

**Which hand do you write with?**

_My right_

**Do you have any speech impediments?**

_It seems as though whenever I am to scream 'Hosh-Sama', I sound super foolish.  Is that a speech impediment?_

**Do sex jokes make you laugh?**

_No, in fact they make me cringe._

**Are you a potty mouth?**

_No_

**Do you believe in the Boogy Man?**

_Yes, but I smote him_

**How much do you get from the Tooth Fairy?**

_I don't remember_

**Do you celebrate Chanukah or Christmas?**

_Either, I guess_

**How do you spell Hannukah?**

_Hannukah?_

**How much wood do you believe a woodchuck can chuck?**

_Some…_

So, they all sat patiently in the safari jeep waiting for Miroku to finish since he was taking ever so long.  After about an hour or so, Miroku came strutting out looking very satisfied with himself since had scribed so neatly and answered all the questions completely.  But oddly enough, he had the test in his hand.

"Do you know where I can find another copy?" he asked his friends.  "I have just finished my rough draft…"

"NO!!!" HOLL-ered everyone as they grabbed him and pulled him into the car.  Then they drove so fast and then entered Canadia!!  HURRAH!!


	49. Kikyo, Canadia and...um...I'm Not Quite ...

"Wow, Canadia is so crazy!" said Kagome as she drove down the street while looking at all the Canadians.

"Kagome, this map says that it's spelled 'Canada'." Said Sango randomly as she looked at a map.  "Is it pronounced that way and you're just trying to mislead us as to make us look foolish?"

"NO I AM NOT!!!" screamed Kagome so loudly that her rear view mirror cracked and exploded.  But then she quickly glued it back together without even having to stop the car and without even coming close to hitting some orphans.  "I have to go and exchange our American currency for Canadian currency." Said Kagome as she pulled into a parking lot.

Kagome strut into the currency exchanging place, trying to walk the Canadian walk and talk the Canadian talk.  "Here's all the money I got!" said Kagome as she pulled out a gigantic wad of money from her pocket and plunked it down on the table.

"Okay.  Eh?" said the Canadian exchange guy as he pressed a few buttons on the cash register and then pulled out a wad of Canadian bills.  "Have a nice day.  Eh?"  (Yes, in case you're wondering, we are going to stereotype them and if you have a problem with that then you can just GO TO CANADA!!!)

So Kagome frolicked back to the car to see that no one had moved a muscle.  In fact, they hadn't even BLINKED!!  "Now we're going to the bathroom." She reported as she pulled into another parking lot.  She walked up to the giant building that was definitely far too large to be a bathroom but she assured them that it was so they all walked in it.

"HA!!!" bellowed Kagome.  "I TRICKED YOU!!  This is really a Grand Mall!!"

"Wow Kagome, you're way too smart for us." Said Inu-Yasha.

"What, you're not devastated?" asked Kagome questioningly.

"No." said Sango.  "We were actually getting a bit curious."

"Fine then that's great because now I don't have to worry about you guys complaining about being in a Grand Mall!" said Kagome.

"No…I'm still going to complain." Said Miroku.  "_I _don't want to be here."

Just about everyone who was so previously in the car (except for maybe Inu-Yasha) shot Miroku a nasty look.

"Just kidding!" Miroku 'corrected' himself.

"So where to first?" asked Kagome as she stood in front of the group with her arms outstretched.  Then she chuckled warmly to herself as she remembered that they probably don't know the first thing about what's in a Grand Mall and what's not!  "So let's just walk down the halls and when we see something interesting, we'll go into it!"

"Hey!" Inu-Yasha exclaimed.  "There's a BUG RANCH in this Grand Mall!"

Kagome followed where Inu-Yasha was pointing to see a Bug Ranch.

"Let's go THERE!"

"NO!!" Kagome bellowed as she quickly turned left and dragged everyone into the closest store to her at the moment. 

"Come to have your fortune told?" said a voice behind them that sounded all too familiar.  It wasn't familiar enough to have already been in this story but it was definitely familiar and some people even cringed at the sound of it.

"Kikyo?" Inu-Yasha said as he went into some sort of trance.

"What are YOU doing here?!" Kagome demanded.

"This is MY store!" Kikyo said as she held up a sign that said 'Kikyo's Fortune Telling Area'.

"YAY!!" Shippo cheered.

"Hosh-Sama!" Sango yelled.

"What?" Miroku asked innocently.

"Kikyo." Inu-Yasha repeated.

"You're just here to take Inu-Yasha away from me, aren't you?" Kagome yelled.

"From YOU?  HA!!" Kikyo laughed.

"YAY!!" Shippo cheered.

"You TOUCHED me again!" Sango yelled as she hit Miroku on the head.

"No I didn't!" Miroku defended.

"Kikyo." Inu-Yasha repeated yet again.

"Just admit it to yourself, you've LOST Inu-Yasha!" Kagome said.

"In your dreams!" Kikyo retorted.

"YAY!!" Shippo cheered.

"Yes you did!" Sango said as she crossed her arms.

"When?" Miroku asked.

"Kikyo."

"If you hadn't come back to life then everything would be good!" Kagome screamed.

"But I DID come back to life so you'll have to deal!" Kikyo sneered.

"YAY!!" Shippo cheered.

"Earlier, when I first yelled at you." Said Sango.

"But if we didn't have to talk in this predefined order then you would have gotten that out at the time and it would have made more sense rather than you saying it and then five minutes later, letting it known only to confuse me!" Miroku explained.

"Kikyo."

"You're just jealous because Inu-Yasha travels with ME and not you!" Kagome bragged.

"But he's uttering MY name!" Kikyo said.

"YAY!!" Shippo cheered.

"You're right." Said Sango.

"Right about what?" Miroku asked.

"Kikyo."

"He's just surprised to see you!  It's not like he's saying your name because he LOVES you!" Kagome HOLL-ered.

"He's surprised to see me because he LOVES me!" Kikyo said.

"YAY!!"

"You're right about everyone talking in a predefined order!" Sango said.  "It screws everything up!"

"I know." Said Miroku.  "I wouldn't have said it if it wasn't right."

"Kikyo."

"You just KNOW I'm better than you!" Kagome repeated.

"YAY!!" Shippo cheered.

Everyone stared at Shippo.

"You messed it up!" Kikyo yelled.  "It was MY turn to say something!"

"I'm sorry!" Shippo cried.  "I got confused!"

"What's there to get confused about?!" demanded no one in particular but not Shippo or Inu-Yasha or Kagome.  "All you had to do was remember who you were after and then cheer 'YAY!!'  Here we were making intelligent conversations!  Well…except for Inu-Yasha…he's really just muttering 'Kikyo'."

"Inu-Yasha!!" screamed Kagome as she hit Inu-Yasha on the head, jerking him out of his unbreakable trance.  Okay…so I guess it WAS breakable.  "Why aren't you uttering my name?!"

"Because I never do!" Inu-Yasha yelled back.  "Whenever I say your name, it's because you're in peril so it's more like…KAGOME!!!!"

"And when he says MY name, it's usually some sort of incredibly long and boring love scene." Kikyo added.

"It all really depends on the mood." Inu-Yasha finished.

"You're right." Said Kagome as she thought back in time.  "So the only reason you're saying Kikyo's name instead of mine is because there isn't any danger or anything going on!!"  Then Kagome felt REALLY smart because she figured it out all by herself.

"WELL THERE IS NOW!!!!!" screamed Kikyo so loudly that she shattered everything breakable in her store.  "Damn…look what you made me do!  For that you will PAY!!!  KAZIM!!  KAZAM!!  KAZOOM!!!"

"KAGOME!!!!" yelled Inu-Yasha since she was almost in peril.

"I'm not in peril yet." Kagome pointed out.

"Oh right." Said Inu-Yasha with a nod.  Then Kikyo blasted a brown colored energy ball at Kagome and there was a blinding light.  "KAGOME!!!!"  And then the light went away and everyone saw that both Kagome and Kikyo were missing.  Inu-Yasha paused for a moment, not really knowing whether to scream Kagome's name or to wistfully utter Kikyo's name.  So he decided to do them both at the very same time.  "KAGOME!!!  Kikyo…"

"Where's Lady Kagome?" wondered Miroku.  Then, all of sudden, a purple cat with black stripes and really fuzzy cheeks came out of nowhere and started prowling by Miroku's leg.  "Get away!!" Miroku said attempting to kick the freak cat away.  "Filthy beast!!"  In trying to kick the cat, he accidentally kicked over a bookshelf which caused a horrible chain reaction and knocked over every single thing in Kikyo's whole store.  "Oops…oh well.  I'm over it."

"Nice going, Max!!" said the cat.

"My name's not Max!" Miroku said as if that was the only thing on his mind.

"Hey…aren't you a little weirded out by the fact that I'm a talking cat?" asked the cat.

"No…should I be?" Miroku asked, looking at Inu-Yasha, Sango and Shippo who only shrugged.  It was normal to THEM too!!

"Of course!!" yelled the cat.  "Cats don't talk in this world!!"

"Oh." Said Miroku.  "Then I guess it is kind of cool then…who are you anyway?  Is there some kind of reason why you've randomly shown up and called me Max?"

"I am…THACKARY KAGOME!!!!!" screamed the cat.  "Actually…no.  I'm… KAGOME BINX!!!"

"That cat has the same name as Kagome!!" yelled Shippo.  "YAY!!!"

"Oh geez…" said Thackary Kagome/Kagome Binx.  "Let me start over."

"Very well." Said Miroku.

"Ahem…nice going, Miroku!" the cat corrected herself.

"Ah!" said Miroku.  "I understand now!  Kikyo, in her crazed rage, must have used her magical powers that she accumulated out of nowhere to transform you into a very peculiar looking feline!"

"YAY!!" cheered Shippo AND the cat who is Kagome at the same time.

"But what still puzzles me…why did you call me Max?" wondered Miroku.

"It was a spur of the moment thing!!!" yelled Kagome the cat.  "But what we have to do right now is find Kikyo so she can turn me back to normal!!"

"Yeah…I guess we could do that." Said Inu-Yasha.

"At least we broke everything in her store so that she can't go on making a living like this." Said Kagome as she rubbed her paws together diabolically as a shadow covered half her face.

"Let's go find her!!" declared Shippo as he bounded off of the wall and landed on Miroku's shoulder.  Then they all punched the air and started laughing heartily as they tromped triumphantly out of Kikyo's stupid little fortune telling area.

"Now if I were Kikyo…where would I be?" wondered Sango.  After all, she's been silent for an awfully long time.

Then they looked across the way to see Kikyo in the store…across the way.  You could tell it was her because of her large mass of hair blowing ominously in the lack of wind and her gigantic blinding red pants.

"So she put a curse on me and then walked across to look at pens?" Kagome wondered, almost in awe, as she looked at the sign that said 'This is a Pen Store!'  Then she decided WHATEVER so she jumped up onto Miroku's OTHER shoulder since she figured that his shoulders were good for housing small animals like herself and Shippo.  And Miroku seemed to think the same thing too because he didn't even flinch when she made herself at home perched atop him.  Then they all frolicked over to the pen store!!!!!

"YAY!!!" screamed Shippo as he leapt off of Miroku's shoulder and made a dive for the pen testing area since he saw it and wanted to test the pens before anyone else took the area from him.  But Inu-Yasha decided that he wanted to test the pens too and he needed to do it FIRST so he strutted arrogantly over to Shippo and then punted him.  Then he proceeded to test a few pens as Miroku, Kagome and Sango wandered off to find Kikyo since she had just walked down some isles.

Some random man who is very stupid looking walked up to Inu-Yasha and watched him for a moment as he tested the pens.  "Do you plan on buying those?" asked the guy.

"No." said Inu-Yasha with a raised eyebrow.

"Well then please don't use them up." Said the stupid looking guy as he took away the pen and the paper that he was using.  He capped the pen, put it back and then crumpled up the paper that he was drawing on!!

"Actually…I WAS going to buy some." Inu-Yasha said.  "And I was going to spend a gigantically large amount of currency at that too but now I'm not going to shop here ever again!"  And with that, he left the pen store and slammed the door so hard that the door broke off of its hinges and the whole world shook.  The guy was used to this so he just frolicked off to harass some more people and force them into buying his overly expensive pens.

Meanwhile, Kikyo had found a peach colored pencil that was almost two dollars and decided she needed it because it was better than Crayola.  So she approached the front desk.  "I would like to purchase this colored pencil." Kikyo said.

"OH NO YOU DON'T!!!" HOLL-ered Kagome as she leapt up and started scratching Kikyo on the face.  "I won't let you buy that until you turn me back into a person again!!"

"NO!!" yelled Kikyo as she shoved Kagome away.  "How could YOU stop ME from buying a colored pencil?!"  Then she started laughing like a knave.  "It'll take more than a mere cat to conquer MY power!!"

"Well we're behind her all the way!!" yelled Sango since she's one to say something stupid like that.  Actually, she isn't.  Miroku just wouldn't say that.

"After all, we are very good at what we do." Said Miroku.

"WELL I WILL CHANGE THAT!!!" shrieked Kikyo.  "YOU WILL BOTH BE CA…"

"No!" yelled Miroku.  "Don't turn us into cats!  That would just be stupid."

"I…um…wasn't going to…" Kikyo lied quickly so that she wouldn't seem stupid.  She wanted to be COOL after all.  "Then I'll just make you BAD at what you do!"

"That's stupid too…" Sango said.

"Then I will do it in some sort of sick and twisted way!!" Kikyo concluded.  "I have accumulated this power out of nowhere and I now shall use it!  KAZIM!!  KAZAM!!  KAZOOM!!!"  Then she blasted them with a nasty looking dark green colored ball o energy.  When the light cleared, everyone was just standing there as if nothing happened.  Miroku and Sango both let out a heavy groan.

"I'm still a cat." Whined Kagome, thinking that they were groaning because she was still a cat.

"You got away with being a cat and we're stuck with THIS?!" complained Miroku as he did some kind of girlish hand motion that made him look like he had the basket.

"She didn't do anything to you though." Said Kagome obliviously.

"Perhaps you should explore all possibilities before jumping to rash conclusions like the one you have just made, Lady Kagome." Said Sango as she started nodding her head.

Then Kagome deducted something faster than she really should have.  "I get it now!!!" she said.  "She made you guys switch bodies!!"

"How did you know?" asked Sango.

"Just by what you said and how you said it and the fact that you called me Lady Kagome just kind of turned something on!!" said Kagome as she felt really really smart.

"Hosh-sama, hear me now, if you do ANYTHING to my body then I'll…" started 'Miroku'.

"Please, Sango, I would never touch my own body nor the one I am residing in." 'Sango' assured him.  "For me to caress my former body would just be wrong but my pride goes so far and I would never be caught fondling myself!"

"Well, I guess that's good." Said 'Miroku'.

"Now we HAVE to find Kikyo." Said 'Sango'.  (In case you're curious, when MIROKU is talking, since he's in SANGO'S body, we'll write 'Sango'.  It's the other way around for Sango for those of you who couldn't figure that out on your own.)

"We had to find her BEFORE!" said Kagome the cat.

"But now it's imperative." 'Sango' replied.

"NO PETS ALLOWED!!!" screamed the guy who owns the store.

"I've been in here the whole time and you never cared!" Kagome yelled.

"The fact that you can talk just offends me now get out!" Then he punted all three of them out of the store to where Inu-Yasha and Shippo were waiting ever so impatiently.

"When I stomped out of the store, you're supposed to follow me!" Inu-Yasha HOLL-ered.  "That way, I wouldn't look stupid waiting outside the store like a moron."

"We ran into a little trouble with Kikyo." Said 'Miroku'.  

"I know." Said Inu-Yasha.  "I saw the oddly colored light.  You all seem fine so you have no excuse.  Now if you still insist on finding Kikyo, let's go before this Grand Mall wears out it's welcome!"

Then he waited approximately one point three seconds while everyone stood there in silence.

"TODAY!!" he yelled as he got impatient WAY before he should have.

"Inu-Yasha!" screamed Kagome.  "If you were paying attention, you'd notice that Miroku and Sango have switched bodies!"

"How would I know THAT?" asked Inu-Yasha.  Then he looked at Miroku and Sango.  "Did Kikyo do it?"

Miroku and Sango both nodded.

"Kikyo…" Inu-Yasha said but then he snapped out of it and looked determined.  "Well, now I KNOW that she's just a crazy psycho bitch!"

"Inu-Yasha!" Shippo yelled.  "My virgin ears!"

"Well, we're certainly not going to find Kikyo while we're all standing around here!" stated 'Sango'.  "So let's go find her before my patience runs thin!"

"TOY STORE!!" Shippo cheered as he ran into the toy store faster than anyone could react.

"Curse that child!" Inu-Yasha yelled as he clenched his fists.  Then they all walked into the store after Shippo to find him.  Kagome jumped atop 'Miroku's' shoulder.

"Kagome, I'm finding this a bit awkward." Said 'Miroku'.  "What with you as a strange cat just sitting on my shoulder…"

"But I was just going to make myself comfortable in Shippo's little nest here!" Kagome whined as she fidgeted around in Shippo's habitat.

"Since when is that there?!" 'Sango' demanded as she ran over to 'Miroku' and started clearing the nest off.  (This is ALREADY getting confusing!)

So when 'Sango' had sufficiently cleared off the nest, they all finally went into the toy store.

"Okay, split up." Said Kagome as she ran off (on all fours of course).

"Why are we looking for Shippo?" asked 'Miroku' to Inu-Yasha as the little group of three walked by the display of Nintendo 64 games.  "Shouldn't we be looking for Kikyo?"

"Are you aware that Nintendo 64 is an OLD system?" said some fat midget lady with greasy hair down her waist and yellow teeth.

"Actually, before today, I wasn't even aware that the system existed." Said 'Sango' casually.

"Then you have no place here." Said the lady as she pushed 'Sango' away.  'Sango' (who is actually Miroku if you forgot) didn't care because the lady was gross and stupid.  "So with Nintendo's new release of Game Cube, the prices of Nintendo 64 games will be going down significantly!"

"Whatever." Said Inu-Yasha.

"I already have numerous Game Cubes, Japanese AND English as well as every single game in Japanese and English and I get them BEFORE they even come out because I pay three times as much as the over-the-counter price on E-Bay because I MUST have them before everyone else!"

"That's nice." Said 'Miroku'.

"I don't know Japanese but they're nice to have and are often times BETTER even though I have no idea what's going on!" continued the lady.  "Sometimes, the Japanese versions have BLOOD!!"

"If you say so." Said 'Miroku' patiently as he averted his gaze from the lady.

"I see you're looking at Zelda; Ocarina of Time." Said the lady to 'Miroku'.

"Actually, no…" said 'Miroku'.  "I have to go now…"

"I beat that game long before it even came out!" she announced.  "I've collected EVERY heart piece and found every secret to the game.  No cheat books needed for me!  I've also gotten SO far into the game that I found a SPECIAL code for a secret dungeon!"

"I REALLY have to go…" 'Miroku' continued as he looked around for Inu-Yasha who was playing with his Takeblah hat.  (He IS wearing it.)

"Here, this will only take a second." Said the lady as she pulled out a piece of paper and started writing this huge, complicated, impossible-to-memorize code.  "If you go to the guy behind the potion shop and talk to him when you have fourteen heart pieces and six of them are empty, then he will say something DIFFERENT to you.  When he says this, hold down the reset button and turn the power off and on three times.  After you have done that, go to the carpenter guy that yells at you and talk to him.  Of course, you don't go to the one that stands out in the open, if you go BEHIND the tent, his twin brother will be standing there.  I've found out that this is a game glitch, however.  After talking to you, he will give you a letter to bring to Guard Guy.  You bring it to him and he'll ask you the code.  Just input this code right here, and you should be able to access the hidden dungeon which is actually only the water temple with designs like the forest temple and enemies which you ONLY find in the fire temple.  Don't beat the temple though because it will mess up your system."

"I have to go…NOW!!" 'Miroku' said as he started to get impatient.

"I figured this sequence out all by myself and have submitted it to many online cheat companies across the globe.  I've even translated my sequence into Japanese and presented it to the actual game creator himself!  I'm still waiting for his reply.  OH!  I just remembered another code sequence, here…let me get a pen…"

"SILENCE!!" 'Miroku' yelled as he sucked the lady into the void within him.  "That was strangely satisfying.  I can see the perks to this."

Inu-Yasha looked over at him since he was not fazed at people being purged by this time.  "What?" he asked.

"You weren't listening to her?!" demanded 'Miroku'.

"No." Inu-Yasha answered.  "Well…I was at first.  But then she turned into a drone and if she had continued from there I really would have smote her but you did it before me."

"I noticed." 'Miroku' said.

MEANWHILE!!!

"SHIPPO!!!" HOLL-ered Kagome as she trotted down the isles while looking at all of the rows of pink since she was in the Barbie isle.  "Wow!!  Wheelchair Olympic Barbie!!  Once I have this one, my collection will be complete!!!  Can't… grab…with cat paws…no…opposable…thumbs…"

"IT'S YOU!!!" came a voice from above her.  She turned around to see Kikyo standing there.  "You're trying to take the Wheelchair Olympic Barbie!!  WELL IT'S MINE!!!"  Then she started laughing manically, grabbed the Barbie and ran.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" yelled Kagome dramatically.  Then she realized that there were about a thousand more Wheelchair Olympic Barbies so she knocked it over with her tail and then started pushing it along, making her way to the line.  She wasn't going to let being a cat stop her from completing her collection!

Just then, a shadow loomed over her.

"NO!!" yelled Kagome as she leapt on the box and protected it.  "IT'S MINE!!  YOU ALREADY HAVE ONE!!!"  But then she looked up to see Sango standing there.  Of course, it's not REALLY Sango.  It's Sango with the quotes like this: 'Sango' but I just forgot them the first time around.

"Is that you?" asked 'Sango'.  "Or is this just a random cat?"

"How many talking purple cat with black stripes do you come across?!" screamed Kagome.

"Um…one." Said 'Sango'.  "Wait…you meant INCLUDING you?  Then two."

"Whatever!!" said Kagome.  "Now help me buy this!!"

Then all of a sudden, they heard a loud cry come from outside the store.  Before they went to investigate, however, Kagome cleverly slipped Wheelchair Olympic Barbie into a bag from the store and insisted that 'Sango' carry out extremely nonchalantly.

'Sango' and Kagome found Inu-Yasha and 'Miroku' already outside of the store looking down at something.  When they made their way there, they found Shippo there with a giant chin that was bigger than him and DEFINITELY wasn't there earlier.  But it did have a swell, sleek cleft in it and everything about it was very shiny.

"WHAT IS THAT?!" yelled 'Sango' and Kagome as they pointed directly at Shippo's large chin.

"You told me no one would notice!!" yelled Shippo to Inu-Yasha as he burst into tears.  No, Inu-Yasha didn't burst into tears, SHIPPO did.  In fact, Inu-Yasha just said feh.

"Feh." Said Inu-Yasha.

"Kikyo put a spell on him." 'Miroku' explained.  "She wanted the same Bionicle thing that he wanted and then got mad at him for throwing it at her."

"Yes, she did that to me too." Said Kagome.  "Only I couldn't throw it because I couldn't even pick it up."

Then they all started chuckling warmly.

"Okay, could we not go and pursue Kikyo because the next time we find her, she's most likely going to put a spell on me." Said Inu-Yasha randomly because he got bored since he wasn't REALLY chuckling.

"WE DON'T WANT TO BE STUCK LIKE THIS FOREVER!!!" yelled everyone.

"I thought you all LIKED it!" said Inu-Yasha.  Everyone slapped their knees and said that that was a good one but then they realized that he was totally serious.

"Why would you think we liked it?" asked 'Sango', annoyed.

"Well…Kagome has a cat at home so she must like cats…" Inu-Yasha said, counting on his fingers.  "Miroku likes girls so he might as well be one.  Sango said herself that being Miroku had its perks and as for Shippo…he'll grow into his chin."

"ARGH!!  YOU'RE SUCH AN IDIOT!!!" yelled everyone as they tackled him but they were soon all thrown off into different directions, realizing that tackling Inu-Yasha is not a smart idea especially if you're a cat, in a different body or have a humungous chin that's not usually there.

Before Kagome could start trying to talk Inu-Yasha into going to find Kikyo, she noticed Kikyo in some random retarded bead store that only sold beads.  She figured that she could be SNEAKY.

"Inu-Yasha, you're right!" said Kagome.  "I LOVE being a cat!  Let's go over to the bead store!!"

"Um…okay then." Said Inu-Yasha.

"LOOK!!  IT'S KIKYO!!" yelled 'Miroku', 'Sango' and Shippo as they all ran into the bead store.  Of course, Shippo was going a bit slow because his chin is bigger than he is.

"That was really dumb, Kagome." Said Inu-Yasha.

"I know…" said Kagome.  "But you can just stay here I guess."

"Fine." Said Inu-Yasha, crossing his arms and scoffing.  "I will."

Then Kagome scampered over to the bead store.  "What are you doing here Kikyo?!" she demanded.

"What is your problem?!" yelled Kikyo.  "I'm just trying to do some daily shopping and you guys are following me everywhere harassing me!!"

"JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION!!!" yelled Kagome.

"Why do you care?!" scoffed Kikyo.  "But, if you must know, I am making a magical subduing necklace so that I will be able to say 'sit' whenever Inu-Yasha angers me so you won't be special anymore!!"

At that exact moment, Inu-Yasha was in the doorway.  "I heard that!!" he yelled angrily.  "In that case, I'm making one for you too!!  And while I'm at it, I'll make one for KAGOME as well!!"  Then he grabbed a handful of beads that didn't really match any of the ones that were on his necklace and then grabbed some twine and isolated himself in the corner so that no one could copy the genuine one.

"I'll ALWAYS be special!!" Kagome said, assuring herself more than Kikyo.

"Kikyo, could you get rid of this giant chin you gave me?!" yelled Shippo since he is still there.

"NEVER!!" yelled Kikyo.

"I shall no longer randomly say 'YAY!!' since I am ever so depressed." Said Shippo as he started pouting.

"Well, at least our lives will be a lot quieter." Said 'Sango'.

"SANGO!!  OR MIROKU!!  OR WHOEVER YOU ARE!!!" yelled Kagome.  "THAT WASN'T VERY NICE!!!"

"I'M Sango." Said 'Miroku'.

"I'M Kikyo." Said Kikyo since no one was paying attention to her and if she doesn't have attention, she will surely suffer a most horrible and painful second death.

"WE KNOW THAT!!!" yelled everyone so loudly that the whole world exploded but then reformed and everyone came back to life except for the stupid people like Ash and Trowa even though they're cartoon characters and were never really alive to BEGIN with.

"How dare you!" said Kikyo because even though she is stupid, she reformed for reasons unknown.  "I am a powerful priestess from my time and everybody loves me!"

"Not anymore!" said the shop owner.  But then Kikyo killed him.

"And furthermore," Kikyo continued now that all means of annoyance were now obliterated.  "While you need the power of a cheep necklace tricks, I can get Inu-Yasha to sit WITHOUT it!!"

"No…" said Inu-Yasha casually.

"YES I CAN!!" yelled Kikyo as she raised her arms up into the air and fire works sparked from her fingers.  "KAZIM!!  KAZAM!!  KAZOOM!!!"  And there was a flash of blinding light and then it went away in about a second since it was only a flash and not something else that lasts longer.  Everyone stood there, wondering what stupid thing Kikyo had done.

"Um…" said no one in particular.

"Come, Inu-Yasha." Said Kikyo knavishly as she pointed to the floor that was by her feet.  Inu-Yasha looked up, dropped everything he was doing and then trotted over to Kikyo on all fours.  "Sit." She commanded.  Then he sat down and started panting with his tongue hanging out of the side of his mouth.  Kikyo then laughed diabolically and then stopped abruptly.  "Now I leave."

She threw a Deku nut to the ground and when the smoke cleared, she was still standing there.  She cleared her throat and then walked out of the store and all the way out of the mall.  No one really pursued her since it didn't really occur to them at the time.

"HEY!!!" yelled Kagome, jumping forward.  "We should pursue her!!"  But before she could continue whatever stupid thing she was going to say, she was interrupted by some ravenous and vicious growling coming from Inu-Yasha.  Kagome let out a heavy sigh.  "Kikyo put a spell under him so that he would do whatever she said and hate me!" she cleverly deducted.  Before anyone else could say anything, Inu-Yasha started letting out loud barks and bow wows and then dove at Kagome, knocking over many beads.  Kagome shrieked like a cat and jumped out of the way.  Inu-Yasha continued to chase her around the room and luckily, since no one was in the store (after all, it's a bead store and the owner was terminated) no one was hurt!!

Finally, Kagome jumped onto 'Sango's' shoulder and she proceeded to give Inu-Yasha a nice swift kick in the jaw.  Inu-Yasha started whimpered and lowered his ears.

"Now you listen to me!" 'Sango' said dramatically.  "I am the boss around here!  When I say 'RUN!!' you say 'HOW FAR?!' and when I say 'JUMP!!' you say 'HOW HIGH?!'  GOT IT?!"  Inu-Yasha only cocked his head to the side and stared at 'Sango' obliviously.  'Sango' cleared her throat.  "And when I say 'sit' you…SIT!!"  And with that, Inu-Yasha immediately sat down on the ground.

"You didn't have to kick him." Said 'Miroku'.

"Well now he listens to me." 'Sango' said as she pulled doggy treat out of her pocket since she just so happen to have one there and tossed it to Inu-Yasha.  He caught it in his mouth and immediately started eating it.  "Lady Kagome, I think you were incorrect on your original assumption.  I believe that Kikyo merely gave him the mind of a dog."

"She did that on purpose!" said Kagome.  "She SAW I was a cat so that's why she made him a dog!"

"I actually just think that she made him a dog because he's half dog." Said Shippo.

"I think she just did it because she wanted him to sit." Said 'Miroku'.

"Well, whatever the reason is, we still have to find Kikyo and take all of these spells off!" said Kagome.  "I saw her leave the Grand Mall!  Let's go find her!"

"It shouldn't be too hard!" said 'Sango'.  "If Canadia is anything like Rhode Island then we should have no trouble at all!"

They all agreed and paraded out of the Grand Mall even though Kagome very well knew that Canadia is the second largest country in the entire world and the mere Grand Mall they were in was probably about the size of Rhode Island.  That is, of course, including the Grand Parking Lot.  They, luckily, had absolutely no problem finding their safari jeep!!  HURRAH!!

Inu-Yasha leapt up into the backseat of the jeep and sprawled himself out, taking up ALL THE ROOM!!!  When the three who normally sit in the backseat stared at him, he only growled at them.

"Kagome…" said 'Miroku'.  "Inu-Yasha has taken my seat…"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" cried Shippo.  "MINE TOO!!"

"I'll just take the front seat." Said 'Sango' as she climbed into the front and shut the door.  "I've never sat here before."

"But Hosh-sama, you have to show him who's boss!" said 'Miroku'.  "He listens to you!"

"Well he can't very well sit in the front seat!" laughed 'Sango'.  "Anyway, I don't think Lady Kagome should drive considering her feline body at the moment so I suppose I will take the wheel."  Then she leaned over grabbed Kagome and dropped her in the passenger seat and then made herself comfortable in the behind the wheel.

"MIROKU!!!" yelled Kagome.  "NO WAY!!!"

"She's right!" agreed Shippo.  "You'll crash into all those orphans!!"

Then they all started arguing about who should drive when all of a sudden, there was a puff of pink sparkly smoke and they all found themselves in a clearing of a forest.  But they were still in Canadia.

"What happened?" wondered Kagome.

Abruptly a shadowy figure appeared in the distance.  Everyone immediately thought it was Kikyo and when they were JUST about to kill her, the figure revealed herself to be a fat stupid looking pig with no hair on the top of her head and a crown and a blue cloak.

"My name is Porcina!" said the stupid pig.

"What kind of horrible demon are you?" demanded 'Sango' as she was about to grab a demon ward but then realized that she was Sango.

"I am not a demon!!" yelled Porcina.  "I am a beautiful, clever Bushwoolly groomer!  But, I also just so happen to be a princess and a sorceress!  I came to tell you that Kikyo stole my book of magic spells so that's why you all have those crazy curses on you."

"What kind of freak has a magic spell that makes people's chins become really really big?!" demanded Shippo as he started crying.

"ME!!!" HOLL-ered Porcina.  "Now I will take the spell off of you all.  KAZOOM!!  KAZAM!!  KAZIM!!!"  There was a puff of pink sparkly smoke again but when it cleared, everyone was still accursed.

"We're still accursed." Said 'Miroku'.

"Um…" stuttered Porcina.  "I know!  You have to go to sleep first.  When you wake up, you will be back to normal!!  KAZIM!!  KAZAM!!  KAZOOM!!"  And then Porcina used her magical powers to make two tents and a campfire appear out of nowhere.  "If you need me again, just call!"  Then she tossed a seashell to them and 'Sango' caught it.  Then, she disappeared.

"Let's all go to sleep!!" said Kagome excitedly with horseshoe eyes.  But then she turned around to see Inu-Yasha staring right at her while snarling.  "ARGH!!!" she screamed as she started running away but he chased after her while barking and arfing and stuff.  She finally climbed up a tree and Inu-Yasha ran around the foot of it while still barking at her.

"I can't go to sleep with all this noise!" Shippo cried.  "I want to get rid of this stupid chin!!"

"I can't go to sleep up here!" Kagome whined.  "Someone HELP ME!!"

"Show him who's boss, Miroku!" 'Miroku' yelled.  "Get him to go to sleep or something!"

"I would do that." Said 'Sango'.  "Except I don't need to.  I don't know about you guys but I know that I can't go to sleep this early!  I have to at LEAST wait until it's dark out."

"You have a point." Said 'Miroku'.

"BUT I WANT TO GO TO SLEEP NOW AND GET RID OF THIS CHIN!!" Shippo screamed.

"I'm still up here!" Kagome yelled from up in the tree.

"Inu-Yasha, come!" 'Sango' said firmly while pointing to the ground in front of her.  (Kinda like what KIKYO did.)  Inu-Yasha's ears drooped down and he WOULD have put his tail in between his legs if he had one.  He walked over to 'Sango' who threw him a treat.  "Good boy!"

Inu-Yasha at the treat happily and stood up on two legs (like a dog) while panting heavily.

"Paw!" said 'Sango'.  Inu-Yasha brought his hand up and put it on 'Sango's'.

"Miroku, stop!" Kagome yelled as she came down the tree.  "This is just disturbing!"

"Aww…"

Kagome walked over to the group and tried to stay far away from Inu-Yasha who was growling but not moving.

"So what can we do in the meantime?" Kagome asked.  "I know our situation is a bit awkward but I don't want to go too far away from this place because it might be special or…something…"

"You might be right." Said 'Sango' as she rubbed her chin.

"STOP RUBBING YOUR CHIN, YOU'RE MAKING ME JEALOUS!!" Shippo wailed.

"How could you be jealous?!" demanded 'Sango'.  "YOU'RE the one with the huge rubbable chin!!"

"But my arms can't even reach out to the end!!" Shippo argued as he attempted to rub his chin because he had just realized how fun it would be to rub it since it is so gigantic.

They all sat there for a minute in silence.

"Hey…I SMELL WATER!!!" yelled Shippo randomly.

"YOU CAN'T SMELL WATER!!" yelled someone else.

"YES I CAN!!!" Shippo continued as he pushed aside some bushes to reveal a hot spring since they're everywhere!!

"YAY!!" cheered everyone.  Except Shippo.

"I haven't taken a shower since that hotel we stayed at!" said 'Sango'.  "As for Shippo and Inu-Yasha, neither of them took showers when they were there so I can assume they're even more befouled than myself!"

Everyone stared at 'Sango' for a moment.

"I'm…Miroku…" said 'Sango', at a loss of anything else to say.

"Oh, I FORGOT." Said 'Miroku' sarcastically.

"Really?" asked 'Sango'.  "You're slower than Lady Kagome!!"  Then everyone started chuckling warmly and then cleared their throats.

"HEY!!" said Kagome once she realized the dis.  Then everyone laughed at her too.

"Now we can finally get Inu-Yasha to bathe as well!!" said no one in particular.  "BECAUSE HE SMELLS!!!"

Then they chuckled some more.

"Okay, we have to stop chuckling…" said somebody.

"You know, it's kind of pointless for me to take a bath." Said Kagome.  "I have this stupid cat's body after all."  They all just kind of ignored her and then walked over to the hot spring and luckily enough, there was a big mass of rocks separating the two sides.  "Now we have to figure out who goes on which side!!" said Kagome as if everyone should be excited.

"The only ones who really even need to split up are Miroku and I." Said 'Miroku'.

"We don't even have to split up at all really." Said 'Sango'.  "Because it doesn't matter if I see MYSELF.  It would just be like looking in the mirror at myself naked or whatever."

"Yes but uh…no." said 'Miroku'.  "I refuse to bathe with men."

"You've bathed with ME before!!" said Shippo.

"You're not a man…you're a boy." Said 'Miroku'.

"HEY!!!" whined Shippo.

Meanwhile, Inu-Yasha had already jumped into the water and was now frolicking around like a fool.

"You know, we don't even need to bathe." Said Kagome.

"YES WE DO!!" bellowed everyone.

"Kagome…I want you to go with Hosh-sama and make sure that he doesn't look at me." Said 'Miroku', giving 'Sango' the evil eye.

"Like I have any fascination with my nude self." Said 'Sango'.

"No…I mean look at ME…which is REALLY you but in reality, if everything was normal, ME.  But at the moment, you, but usually me." 'Miroku' clarified.

"You mean you don't want me to look at the body of Sango?" 'Sango' tried.

"RIGHT!!!" said 'Miroku'.

"Consider it done!" said Kagome as she leapt up onto 'Sango's shoulder.

"Well then Shippo, I want you to make sure that Sango doesn't look at MY body!" 'Sango' said.

"Like I'm going to do that Hosh-sama!" said 'Miroku' as if he were offended.

"YAY!!" cheered Shippo.  "I GET A TASK!!"  But then he remembered that he wasn't supposed to cheer so he sulked.

And then they simultaneously parted ways.

Kagome jumped up onto 'Sango's head and put her paws over her eyes.  "Now you can undress." She said.

"How am I supposed to undress while you're covering my eyes?" asked 'Sango'.

"Aw now you don't!" said Kagome.  "I'm protecting Sango's body here and you're not getting away with looking at it!"

"Come on, Lady Kagome, don't you think I am a little more decent than you give me credit for?" said 'Sango'.

"You sneak up behind us and feel our butts and you ask random women that you don't even know to bear your child!!" yelled Kagome.  "HOW IS THAT AT ALL DECENT?!?!"

"I say please." Said 'Sango'.

MEANWHILE!!!

"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!" said Shippo as he played in the water like a knave.  'Miroku', meanwhile, hadn't even undressed yet!!  NICE GUARD SHIPPO IS!!

"All right…I won't look…" said 'Miroku' as he closed his eyes and then started unbuttoning the shirt he was wearing.  "Must…be…decent…" 'Miroku' muttered to himself.  "I bet that dirty Hosh-sama is already getting very familiar with my body!!  Grrrrrrrr!!!  Nothing can be worse than this curse!!!  Well…except for maybe…THIS CURSE!!"  Then he held up his accursed hand with the air void.  "If I die from this curse while I'm this body, I'll never forgive Hosh-sama.  But then again…I'll be dead so I guess I'll die, come back as a ghost and then haunt Hosh-sama in MY BODY forever and ever!!"

"Sango!  You're scaring me!" cried Shippo.

"SILENCE CHIN FREAK!!!" yelled 'Miroku' but then he gasped.  "I'm sorry Shippo!  I was just very angry at the moment and that just slipped out!"

All of a sudden, Inu-Yasha came out of nowhere and barreled 'Miroku' over, knocking him in the water.  Finally, when he resurfaced, he saw Inu-Yasha looming over him with a tennis ball in his mouth while looking very eager for him to throw it or something.

"Where did you get this tennis ball?" wondered 'Miroku.  Inu-Yasha dropped it and then barked.  "Fine!  I'll throw it but then go bother someone else, okay?"

He picked it up and tossed it as far as he could.  We can assume that Sango has a really good arm considering the fact that she can hurl that large boomerang as often as she does.  But then again, she's not in her correct body so maybe not.  

Inu-Yasha paused for a moment and then dashed off after it on all fours at the speed of light.  He was going so fast that he caught it even before it landed!!!  HURRAH!!!  He looked overly content for a few minutes before trotting off to find 'Miroku' again.  It didn't take long since he knew exactly where he was.

"I told you to go and bother someone else!" 'Miroku yelled.  Inu-Yasha only stared at her obliviously.

"I'll throw it!" said Shippo as he picked the ball up.  Inu-Yasha growled and barked at him.  "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" he cried.  At that exact moment, Inu-Yasha decided that he would much rather chase this chin with feet than the tennis ball so he did.  And Shippo couldn't get very far very fast so 'Miroku' reached over and picked Shippo up and protected him.  YAY!!

Inu-Yasha only started bouncing up and down with excitement as if he expected 'Miroku' to throw Shippo.

"No!" 'Miroku' said firmly, shaking her finger.  It was…as if…SHE WAS TALKING TO A DOG!!!  Inu-Yasha didn't really flinch so he continued bouncing up and down.  'Miroku' didn't really want to kick Inu-Yasha like the REAL Miroku had because if it turned out that Inu-Yasha remembered what happened then he didn't want to be smote.  So he only just kind of walked away but since she had Shippo, Inu-Yasha followed right after her while jumping up with that enthusiasm that was all like 'THROW IT!!  THROW IT!!  THROW IT!!!'

MEANWHILE!!!

"What is the point of bathing with my clothes on?" sighed 'Sango' as she sat down in the water fully clothed, secretly knowing that she would have to change into dry clothes anyway.

"Well, this is the only way I'll stop your lechery!!" said Kagome knavishly.

'Sango' sighed and just kind of sat there in the water.  All of a sudden, Inu-Yasha came over with the tennis ball and dropped it on the ground.  He stood at the water's edge while jumping around as if the tennis ball was trying to escape or if 'Sango' would dive for it and attempt to steal it.  He then started barking when 'Sango' didn't do anything.

"What do you want?" she asked.

"He obviously wants you to throw the ball!" said Kagome as she made her way behind 'Sango' so that Inu-Yasha wouldn't see her.

"I don't want to." Said 'Sango with a sigh.

"Just do it while he's like this!" said Kagome.  "Didn't you say that you wanted a dog?!"

"But this is just WEIRD!" said 'Sango' as she got up out of the water anyway.  She made her way over to Inu-Yasha and the ball.  Inu-Yasha looked as though he was going to pounce on the ball if it tried to escape so 'Sango just tapped it to the side a bit with her foot and sure enough, Inu-Yasha pounced on it and began shaking it around in his mouth as if punishing it.

"That's so cute!" said Kagome knavishly.

"I can't even do this!" said 'Sango'.  "This is just wrong."

"You had no problem doing it earlier." Kagome pointed out.

"Yeah but now there's a ball." Said 'Sango'.  "And that's just crossing the line."

"YOU WERE FEEDING HIM DOGGY TREATS!!!" screamed Kagome.

"So?" said 'Sango'.  Just then, 'Miroku' and Shippo came around the corner looking cleansed.

"We're done." They said at the very same time.

"Fine, I guess we are too." Said 'Sango' with a shrug.

"You got my clothes wet!" yelled 'Miroku'.

'Sango' looked 'Miroku' up and down.  "So did you!"

"Well now that the sun is KIND of setting…I think we should get some sleep so we can turn back." Said Kagome.  They looked up at the sky to see that it was still high noon.

"The sun is not setting." Said 'Sango'.

"I KNOW!!" screamed Kagome.  "I JUST REALLY DON'T WANT TO BE A CAT ANYMORE!!!"

"I'M TIRED TOO!!!" screeched Shippo since he didn't want to have a big chin anymore.

"I guess…" said 'Miroku'.  They all shrugged and frolicked back over to the two tents and campfire that Porcina had conjured up.

"BOYS IN ONE TENT AND GIRLS IN THE OTHER!!!" shrieked Kagome.

"But this is the same predicament that we had while bathing!" 'Sango' pointed out.  "And I am NOT sleeping in an enclosed area Inu-Yasha like that and Shippo like that.  It's bad enough you made me every OTHER time!"

"Well, the only ones who really take up space anyway are Hosh-sama, Inu-Yasha and I." Said 'Miroku'.  "But Inu-Yasha will probably just want to sleep outside so Kagome and Shippo can just choose which tent they want to sleep in."

"ALL RIGHT!!!" cheered everyone as they opened up one of the tents to see Inu-Yasha already in there marking his territory.  They all paused and stared at Inu-Yasha as he walked around in a few circles, yawned and then fell asleep while curled up in a little ball.

"I don't want to sleep in there." Said 'Sango'.  Everyone agreed except for Shippo since he didn't really care!  So Shippo dove in there but he couldn't really because he has a huge chin so 'Miroku' tossed him in to get the effect that he was diving even though he wasn't REALLY.  So the rest of them walked over to the remaining tent as if it would eat them.

"I don't want to sleep in the same tent as Hosh-sama!!" whined 'Miroku'.

"I feel so unloved when you say things like that." Said 'Sango'.

"It's okay you guys!" said Kagome.  "This tent is pretty big!  I'll sleep in between you two!"

"Oh great, I'll have a cat protecting me from his perverted nature!" complained 'Miroku'.

"Come on, I'm not going to feel my own body!" 'Sango' said, sounding kind of frustrated.  "I derive no sexual pleasure from the sight of my own behind!!"

"LIAR!!" yelled 'Miroku' as he turned around and crossed his arms.

"FINE!!" 'Sango' yelled back as SHE turned around and crossed HER arms!!

"Guys, guys!" HOLL-ered Kagome.  "Try to get along!  We just need everyone to fall asleep for a second!  It's not like we're going to be sleeping for more than…a second…"

"If you touch me ONE time Hosh-sama then I'll…I'll…!" started 'Miroku' knavishly but 'Sango' just kind of went 'PA-CHAAAAAAA!!' and made him talk to the hand.

Then they all crawled into the tent and lied down.

After Sango and Miroku had fallen asleep, Kagome seized this opportunity to go and visit Inu-Yasha!!  She got up very quietly and tiptoed over to the other tent and made her way inside.  Shippo looked horribly uncomfortable because of his huge chin but Inu-Yasha was sleeping like a little baby!!

"Don't worry Inu-Yasha!" she whispered.  "I know you're frightened but it'll all be over soon!  We're almost back to normal."  Then she sighed wistfully.  "This is the only way I'm able to visit you because in our current forms, we are sworn enemies, forced to chase and run!  Curse that Kikyo!!  I know she did it on purpose!  I…love…"

At that moment, Kagome looked behind her to see both Miroku and Sango watching her from outside the tent with devious smiles on their faces.

"GO AWAY!!!!" Kagome screamed.

"We just wanted to see where you went!" confessed 'Sango'.  "It's hard to go to sleep at noon!!  Lady Kagome…look out!"

Then Kagome turned around to see that Inu-Yasha was very much so awake because she had screamed so he pounced at her but luckily, since 'Sango' was paying attention, she grabbed Kagome and protected her from certain death.

Suddenly, there was a swirl of blue smoke and green sparkles and purple fire and turquoise stars.  When that all cleared, standing there coughing and hacking was PORCINA!!  WOW!!!!!!!

"I'm sorry." Said Porcina with a guilty look on her face.  "I lied."

"You lied?" asked Kagome.

"Yeah." Said Porcina.  "I couldn't REALLY heal you.  I just pretended as though I could and made up the whole sleeping thing to save face."

"So I'm stuck with this chin FOREVER?!?!" Shippo wailed.

"Well, I HAVE found Kikyo so I can tell you where she went." Said Porcina quickly.  "I saw her heading into Alaska and knowing your directional skills, you'll find her with NO trouble!  I want to get back at Kikyo for stealing my magic words!"

Before Porcina could realize what was going on, the whole crew had Porcina mounted on a stick, over a fire and spinning with an apple in her mouth.

They all had pork for lunch.

It was good and Kagome happened to have rolls and barbeque sauce so it made it all the more better!

So after a nice lunch, they all piled into the safari jeep to head to Alaska.  It JUST so happens that they were practically on the Canadia/Alaska line ANYWAY so they really only had to drive a foot when suddenly it started snowing and the ground was covered in snow which was a sure sign that they were in fact in Alaska.


	50. A Dogsled Race in Alaska

"I'M COLD!!!" whined Shippo.  "And so is Chinny!"

"You named your chin?" asked Kagome.

"No." Shippo answered as he pulled out his teddy bear that was all tattered.  "THIS is Chinny.  It's an odd coincidence."

"Well, I packed coats for you all!" Kagome announced out of nowhere.  "Except…for myself really… I'm not the same size as I was before.  I also lovingly embroidered your names on them!"

"Mine doesn't fit!" whined Shippo as he tried to squeeze his chin into the star-shaped snowsuit with his name on it.

"Hosh-sama!" 'Miroku' said as he held up the jacket made especially for Sango and it had her name on it.  "Put THIS jacket on!"

"That is YOUR jacket, Sango." Said 'Sango' as she put on the jacket made for Miroku.

"But it doesn't fit very well with your body!" 'Miroku' whined.

"Yours is all pink and frilly and girly and as a man, I promised myself never to where such garments." 'Sango' explained.  Suddenly, four Eskimos walked by to hear this sentence uttered.  Each adult Eskimo blocked the ears of the respected kid in front of them and ran off.

"But this will be YOUR man's body wearing this girly jacket." 'Miroku' said.

"Um…very well, Sango." Said 'Sango' as she took the jacket off.  "I wouldn't want you to get cold."

Kagome the cat approached the two as they switched jackets.

"Can you put this jacket on Inu-Yasha so that he doesn't freeze?" Kagome asked.  "You know how he acts towards me and as of now he's burying Shippo for even TRYING to get him to put it on."

Everyone glanced over at Inu-Yasha who had Shippo in his mouth by the chin.  Inu-Yasha looked up at them, noticed that they were paying attention to him, dropped Shippo and began frolicking over to the group all too happily.  He then lied down on his back in front of Miroku and Sango while panting and sticking various limbs high in the air while beckoning for a nice belly rub.

"I wish I were a human right now." Kagome sighed wistfully.  "Or at least not a cat."

"Rubbing Inu-Yasha's belly would be below me." Said 'Sango'.  "I wouldn't be able to face him again."

"I'm just uncomfortable with all contact with people of the opposite gender." Said 'Miroku'.

Inu-Yasha began whining and doing the puppy eyes.

"AREN'T WE LOOKING FOR KIKYO?!" Shippo demanded.

"Oh yeah." Said everyone in the 'OH!!!!!!' tone.

"Ah…if it isn't my favorite group!" said a familiar stuuuupid voice from behind them.  "Actually, I hate you all…except for Inu-Yasha.  But actually I DO hate him but I actually LOVE him but I want him to die even though I love him!"

"IT'S KIKYO!!" Shippo yelled as he tried to run over and attack her but he couldn't in his current condition.  

"TURN US BACK!!" Kagome yelled.

"I'm willing to make a trade with you." Said Kikyo.  "If you beat me in a sled dog race, I will turn you back.  If I win, then you will be my slave forever and you will be GOOMBAS!!" (You know, Goombas!  Super Mario Brothers!  They look like mushrooms and you step on them and they die!)

"GASP!!" everyone yelled.

"I don't know…" said 'Sango'.  "Would I rather be Sango or a Goomba?"

"But you could be yourself if you DO win!" Kagome yelled in her face.

"Lady Kagome, I have never even seen a sled dog and I certainly don't know how to race one!" 'Sango' said with a sigh.

"WE HAVE TO TRY!!" Kagome yelled with a determined voice.

"Good luck!" said Kikyo as she stroked her loyal dog, Balto and all of her other sled dogs that are not as fast.  (Yes, Balto is the bomb but NOT Balto 2.)

"So which dogs do we get?" asked Kagome.

"I don't know." Said Kikyo with a shrug.

"You mean we have to get our OWN?!" Kagome demanded.

"I suggest you do it fast because the race is starting soon!" laughed Kikyo.

"We could use Inu-Yasha?" suggested 'Miroku' as she looked at Inu-Yasha who was still whining and begging to have his tummy rubbed.

"OKAY!!" yelled everyone as they tied Inu-Yasha to the sled.

"I'll trade you Balto for Inu-Yasha!" Kikyo yelled as she held Balto's leash.

"I would NEVER do that!" Kagome yelled.

"Fine!" Kikyo screamed.  "I didn't want him anyway!  The race will start NOW!!"

And with that, Kikyo sped off while whipping her dogs and yelling 'MUSH!'

"MUSH INU-YASHA!!" Kagome yelled.  Inu-Yasha turned to everyone who was on the sled and barked happily and just looked creepy.  Then he caught sight of Kagome and began growling and frothing.

"I'VE GOT AN IDEA!!" Shippo yelled.

Two minutes later…

"LOOK HOW FAST WE'RE GOING!!" Shippo cheered as they sped along the snow at top speed.

"I don't like this idea at all!" Kagome shrieked.  Shippo's idea consisted of tying Kagome to a string and a stick and dangling her in front of Inu-Yasha's face so that he ran and tried to catch her.  "He almost got me that time!"

"Well, give the impression that you're running and he might try and just chase you as opposed to trying to eat you!" 'Sango' yelled.

"Thanks a LOT!" Kagome yelled.  And then she started having inner monologue.  _"I always wanted Inu-Yasha to chase after me but this is just weird!!  I just want to get this over with!!"_

Of course, it never really occurred to any of them that if they lost then they'd be Kikyo's slaves as well as Goombas for the rest of their lives.  So they just continued a racing and if they had nothing to lose but they actually did but that didn't occur to them BUT I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT!!!

"Um…did Kikyo say anything about a finish line or a trail we were supposed to follow?" 'Miroku' asked 'Sango'.

"No." 'Sango' answered as if there was nothing wrong with that.

"Well how do we know that Inu-Yasha isn't just senselessly running around  with a cat dangled in front of his face?!" 'Miroku' demanded sounding frustrated.

"But he _is_." 'Sango' pointed out.

"That's not the point, Hosh-sama!!" whined 'Miroku'.

"I'M HUNGRY!!!" Shippo screamed randomly.

"Then let's stop and have something to eat!" said 'Sango' as if the fact that she was going to be a Goomba didn't bother her if they lost.  Since she was, of course, holding the reins, she pulled onto them, pulling Inu-Yasha to an abrupt halt.  As soon as the sled stopped, Kagome immediately ran over to see what the problem was.

"Why did you stop?!" she demanded.

"Because Shippo is hungry." 'Sango' replied.

"SO?!" Kagome HOLL-ered.  "When have you EVER cared if Shippo is hungry or not?!"

"Because I'm hungry too…" 'Sango' confessed.

"But we JUST ate Porcina!!" Kagome continued.

"I have to say, I didn't really eat any of her." 'Sango' said.  "I found it rather repulsive.  I only aided in the slaughtering of her but once you started to mount her on the stick, I decided to put it all behind me."

"FINE!!" groaned Kagome since she couldn't argue anymore.

So then they set up a campfire and started making hotdogs.  "Do you think that if we never finished this race then Kikyo would hold it against us?" wondered 'Miroku' randomly.

"She'd probably pursue us and then turn us into Goombas." Said 'Sango'.

"What if she never found us though?" said 'Miroku'.

"Then we'd be stuck like this forever." Kagome said, sounding annoyed.

"Oh right." Sighed 'Miroku'.

"You act as though being a cat is a BAD thing!" yelled Shippo.  "Look at me!  I have a huge chin!!"

"Well…I'm not even a NORMAL looking cat…" Kagome argued.

"YOU THINK THIS IS NORMAL?!" screamed Shippo.

Then they all just kind of sat there for a few minutes before they suddenly heard some voices off in the distance.  The voices slowly grew closer and closer and it sounded like they were ARGUING!!!!

"No!!" yelled the first very humorous voice.  "I don't NEED sled dog race tips!!  I'm not a dog!!"

"But _I _am!!  Sessho." Said the second one.  "And besides, Balto was HALF WOLF so it should be just fine for YOU to race too!  Sessho."  Then they both walked around the corner to reveal themselves as Sessho-Maru and Kouga just in case you couldn't figure it out.

Inu-Yasha instinctively started growling at the two of them.

"What's up with Dogface?" asked Kouga with a scoff.  Inu-Yasha lunged forward and was just about to bite Kouga when 'SIT!!!' was yelled from not only Kagome, but also from everyone else in the group.

"Kouga, it's me!" Kagome yelled.

"No, you're not Kagome." Said Kouga.

"You're just a freakishly colored cat.  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru.

"Kouga!" Kagome yelled.  "It really is me!  Kikyo put us all under spells and Inu-Yasha thinks he's a dog and I'm a cat!"

"Dogface…thinks he's a dog?" Kouga asked as he bent down to Inu-Yasha's level.  Then he burst out laughing.

"I can't turn back unless we beat Kikyo in a dogsled race and Inu-Yasha's our only dog and he's not into racing right now!" Kagome cried trying to be dramatic.

"I shall run the race for you, Kagome!" Kouga announced.  "After all, you ARE my woman."

"But you're not a dog." Kagome said.

"But Balto was HALF wolf so it should be just fine for ME to race too!" Kouga said proudly.

"GREAT!!" Kagome yelled because she knew how fast Kouga is.  (Really… REALLY fast!!)

"I want to run too.  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru.

"HURRAH!!" Kagome cheered because she knew that Sessho-Maru could turn into that big dog thing that can fly and be fast and stuff.  "So let's go!!'

Even though they originally stopped for food, they didn't get any food and ran to their sled to continue the race.  They hooked Kouga and Sessho-Maru up next to Inu-Yasha.

"I refuse to run next to Dogface!" Kouga declared.

"Kouga, shut up!" Kagome yelled.

"Okay!" Kouga saluted as he hooked himself up in FRONT of Inu-Yasha.

"MUSH!!" yelled…SOMEONE!!!

Kouga and Sessho-Maru immediately started running but Inu-Yasha had no reason to so he was just dragged along foolishly.

"ARGH!!" everyone yelled as they tied Kagome back to the string and held her in front of Inu-Yasha's face.

"This is so humiliating." sighed Kagome.

"You should NEVER be subjected to this, Kagome!" Kouga declared.  "After all, you are MY woman and MY woman should never have anything that embarrasses her happen!!"

"It's okay, Kouga." Said Kagome.  "As soon as we win, I will be turned back and I will TRY to forget this whole thing."  There was a pause.  "I might even try to forget this whole road trip."

"Did Dogface ruin your wonderful road trip?!" Kouga bellowed so loudly that he caused an avalanche that JUST missed them.

"WELL THAT WAS LUCKY!!!" chuckled everyone.  And then Kouga, Sessho-Maru and Inu-Yasha started mushing and mushing and mushing until they could not mush no more.

"Um…Sessho-Maru?" said Kagome.  "Don't you think you should turn into that giant dog thing you do so we can just ride you or something?"

"What's the matter, Kagome?!" demanded Kouga.  "Am I not fast enough for you?!"

"No, you're PLENTY fast!" Kagome assured him.  "But I think Inu-Yasha and Sessho-Maru are having a hard time keeping up."

"How could I, Sessho-Maru, have a hard time keeping up with this…KOUGA person?!  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru as he stopped running right there and crossed his arms.  "I refuse to start running again until you all apologize to me.  Sessho."

"You're just slowing me down anyway!!" Kouga yelled as he got all IN YOUR FACE.

Sessho-Maru gasped dramatically.  "How DARE you?!  Sessho."

Meanwhile, Inu-Yasha was running around in circles because Kagome was still dangling in front of him.  Kagome was getting so dizzy that she just decided to say SIT!!!  And then she trotted over to Sessho-Maru and Kouga who were still quarrelling.

"Stop fighting you guys!!" she shrieked.

"Kagome, I cannot work with these inferiors." Said Kouga as he looked as though he was about to cry.  "GOODBYE!!"  And then he ran off as fast as he could.  It didn't take too long to get out of sight because he's really fast.

"Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru as he stuck his nose up in the air and strutted arrogantly away.

"Now what?!" said 'Miroku'.

"Look's like Inu-Yasha will have to run all by himself." Said 'Sango'.

Kagome looked over at Inu-Yasha who was looking cold, tired, hungry, lonely, neglected and dizzy all at the same time.  She felt so bad for him that she couldn't let him run anymore.

"Guys…I don't think that Inu-Yasha should run anymore." She said.

"That's just plain ol' silly Kagome, you just don't want to dangle in front of him anymore." Said Shippo.

"It's not THAT!!" Kagome insisted.  "Just LOOK at him!!"

Miroku, Sango and Shippo looked over at Inu-Yasha who was still looking cold, tired, hungry, lonely, neglected and dizzy all at the same time.

"He does look rather pathetic." 'Miroku' admitted.

"But if HE doesn't pull the sled who will?" wondered 'Sango'.

"Well I certainly can't!" Kagome said immediately.  "I probably wouldn't even be able to move this if there wasn't three feet of snow outside!"

"I can't even walk with this chin…" said Shippo.

"WE can't very well do it!" said 'Miroku'.  "We're the humans!"

"Our job is to just stand here holding the reins looking important as if we're actually doing anything." Agreed 'Sango'.

"So are we just going to wait here until Kikyo finishes the race and then comes and finds us and turns us into Goombas?!" Kagome demanded.

"I'd rather be a Goomba than have this chin!" Shippo declared.

"You're kidding, right?" Kagome asked.

"No." said Shippo.

"I plan on fighting Kikyo when she gets here." Said 'Miroku'.  "If you'll give me my hideously large boomerang, I'll have a weapon I'm used to just in case."

"Hey!" said 'Sango'.  "Not a bad idea!  Have Kikyo come to us, and then SMITE her!"

"Like you'll do anything." Said Kagome.

"I will!!" 'Sango' protested.  "Wait…maybe I won't…I mean…I can't.  I mean, I suppose I could smack her with my staff but that wouldn't really prove much."

"Inu-Yasha doesn't look like he cares which we decide on." Kagome pointed out as she look at Inu-Yasha who was being cold, tired, hungry, lonely, neglected and dizzy all at the same time.

Suddenly, there was a blinding flash and KIKYO WAS THERE!!!  NOOOOOO!!!

"I HAVE BEEN WAITING AT THE FINISH LINE FOR A REALLY LONG TIME AND BOY AM I ANGRY!!" Kikyo HOLL-ered.

"LET'S GO!!" 'Miroku' yelled but then he realized that he didn't have the stupidly huge boomerang that was needed to smite Kikyo so he just shrugged.

"I WILL SUBDUE YOU!!" Kikyo yelled as she zapped them with some sort of light that TIED THEM UP!!!

"ARGH!!" everyone yelled.

"So much for your plan." Kagome sighed.  "Now we're all going to be Goombas."

"That's right!!" Kikyo laughed maniacally as she powered up her super death move which was really not a death move but it was really just turning them into Goombas and enslaving them forever.  Then she zapped them without warning.  The blast went right towards Shippo!!  ARGH!!!

"NOOOOOOOO!!" Shippo yelled as the blast closed in on him.  It went right to his chin and in between his cleft where it bounced around a little before firing back out and hitting Kikyo who immediately turned into a Goomba.

"AHHHHHHH!!" Kikyo yelled as she transformed into a Goomba.  The little blasty thingy that binded them disappeared and to top it all off, they all turned back to normal!!  YAY!!

"That was weird." Said Shippo plainly as he rubbed his chin which was now, sadly enough for me, normal sized.  "MY CHIN!!  YAY!!!"

"I'm a human again!!" Kagome cheered as she hugged the closest person to her, which just so happened to be Krillin.  And he was blue too.  Then he left.

"Well, I'm glad to be back in my own body." Sighed Sango.  "There were just a few too many awkward points."

"I agree!" Miroku…agreed.  "I hate being interrogated at every move I made!"

"You deserved it and it was needed." Said Sango.

"Um…I remember…NOTHING that happened in the past two states so don't bother asking me anything because I will be unable to give you an answer since I don't remember.  We might as well never bring the topic up again." Said Inu-Yasha as quickly as possible.

"SURE!!!" yelled Kagome as she slapped him on the back.  "YOU WANT THAT TUMMY RUB NOW?!?!"

"NO!!" yelled Inu-Yasha as he punted Kagome but she came RIGHT back only a little bit wiser this time.

"Okay, let's go to Hawaii." Said Kagome.  "It's too cold here."

"How many more United States are there?!" demanded no one really.

"Hawaii is the LAST ONE as a matter of a fact!!" Kagome said.

"YOU'RE KIDDING!!!" yelled the four people from the past.

"NO!!" yelled Kagome who is from the present.

"YAY!!" cheered EVERYONE!!

"But…what about Kikyo?" asked Sango randomly as she pointed at Kikyo the Goomba as she just walked around like a knave.

"Let's stomp on her!" said Shippo.  They all smiled deviously and started closing in on her but she was suddenly zapped to the Jar of Evil where she would float around as a Goomba for all eternity.  Oh well!!  Now WE don't have to deal with her anymore!!

"OH WELL!!" said everyone as they tried to hurry Kagome.

"So…is Hawaii really close?" asked Inu-Yasha as he got into the safari jeep since it got transported there just to make everything that much easier.  "We can just drive there, right?"

"Um…no." said Kagome.  "We have to take an airplane cause it's an island and it's halfway back to Japan."

"But…can't we just drive ANYWAY?" Miroku asked, winking and nudging Kagome.

"SURE!!" yelled Kagome as she drove them to Hawaii.


	51. Hawaii and "Hula Dancing"

"WELCOME!!!" cheered all the Hawaiian people with flowers in their hair and grass skirts and leis.  Then they lei-ified everyone.  At least, they TRIED!!  Kagome got many many leis because she welcomed them with open arms.  Sango shrugged and took one.  Miroku beckoned all the beautiful women to continue to lei him until they ran out so they stole them from Kagome.  Shippo was far to small to wear a lei.  Inu-Yasha smote the nice Hawaiian men with baskets when they attempted to lei him.

Kagome started running ahead of everyone on the way to the place that she had planned.  Everyone else decided to have a huddle.

"Okay, this is the last state," said Sango.  "We should humor Kagome and act as though we're having the time of our life."

"No matter what stupid activity she has us do." Miroku agreed.

"YAY!!" cheered Shippo.

"Feh." Said Inu-Yasha.

"Is that an 'I agree' or 'I don't agree'?" asked Miroku.

"It depends on what Kagome makes us do." Said Inu-Yasha.

"No." said Sango.  "Whatever she wants us to do, we will.  Got it?"

"Fine, fine, whatever." Said Inu-Yasha, rolling his eyes.  Everyone did a pinky swear.

At that exact moment, Kagome came skipping out of a little hut with a bunch of bags.

"What are these?" questioned Sango.

"Go into that hut and there are a few bathrooms.  You can go and get changed into what's in the bag."

"What's in the bag?" asked Miroku.

"You'll see!" Kagome teased.

"Where's my bag?" asked Shippo. 

"They didn't have any in your side so you can go play in the water!" Kagome said as she punted Shippo into the ocean.

"YAY!!" Cheered Shippo as he sailed over Hawaii.

"This isn't going to make me look really stupid, is it?" asked Inu-Yasha.

"No, it'll be FUN!" Kagome said with a smile that no one trusted.  Then Kagome shooed them all into the hut and impatiently waited while staring at her watch.

Ten seconds later…

"NO WAY!!!" came Inu-Yasha's voice from inside the men's room.  "We're supposed to put these on?!"

"LADY KAGOME!!" Miroku's voice came.  "I'M CONFUSED!!"

"Just put them on!" Kagome yelled.

"I WILL NOT!!" Inu-Yasha bellowed.

"Just do it!" Miroku yelled back.  "We'll figure it out!"

"Kagome!" Sango's voice came.  "I just got some grass in my bag!"

"Pull it out!" Kagome yelled back.

"Why aren't you in here with me?" Sango asked.

"Because I want to see you guys do this before you have to go home!" Kagome answered.  "I have a camera so I can capture the moment!"

"So what are these coconut shells for?" asked Sango.

"Do you REALLY want me to come in there and help you?" Kagome asked.

"Kinda." Sango answered.

Meanwhile…

"Do you think Kagome would mind horribly if I flushed this?" Inu-Yasha asked Miroku as he held up the grass skirt that Kagome expected him to wear.

"Just put it on, it's not that bad." Miroku said.

"I don't see you wearing one." Said Inu-Yasha.

"YOU'RE her boyfriend!" Miroku insisted.

"WHAT?!" Inu-Yasha demanded.  "SINCE WHEN?!"

"Oh come on!" Miroku half-laughed.  "Don't deny it."

"DENY WHAT?!" Inu-Yasha yelled.  "I HAVE NOTHING TO DENY!!  I FEEL NOTHING WITH KAGOME, GOT IT?!"

"You don't have to yell!" Miroku yelled while blocking his ears.  "It's not like I'll hear you better if you yell louder.  I'll hear you either way."

"I don't think you get it, monk." Said Inu-Yasha with a glare.  "Kagome is only the shard locater." 

"We're not looking for Shikon Shards." Said Miroku.  "We're putting on grass skirts.  You've done all this stuff for the shard locater?"

"I have to PLEASE her so she'll do what she's told!" Inu-Yasha insisted.

"Inu-Yasha…if you don't put that grass skirt on then I will tell everyone about how you were acting very doggish for the past day or so!" Miroku threatened.

"So?!" yelled Inu-Yasha.  "Who will you tell?!  Sango?  Shippo?!  They already know!  The only person I would REALLY care about is Kouga and he knows too so it doesn't even matter!"  But then something suddenly occurred to him.  "And you were the one who kicked me in the jaw too!  Not Sango!  Here I was thinking it was Sango the whole time!"

"I'm sure it was Sango." Said Miroku.  "I am a monk.  I harm no living being."

"YEAH RIGHT!!!" yelled Inu-Yasha.

"SILENCE!!" Miroku HOLL-ered as he thwapped Inu-Yasha on the head.  "It certainly was a lot quieter when you weren't speaking…"

"SHUT UP!!!" Inu-Yasha commanded.

"Make me." Said Miroku.

"All right then I will!!" Inu-Yasha declared when suddenly Sessho-Maru walked in wearing a grass skirt and with leis on a flower in his hair and a coconut bra while playing a ukulele and hula dancing AND he had a PUFF!!!  Of course, no one would really know that he's actually a male since he's wearing eye shadow and he had really long hair everything.  The only thing he WAS missing was the female like chest.

"Why hello there.  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru.  "Fancy seeing you here!"

"What are you talking about?!" demanded Inu-Yasha.  "How is it at all out of the ordinary?!"  Then he took a good look at his brother up and down.  "Do you have any idea what you're wearing and just how stupid you look?!"

"Excuse me for trying to enjoy life.  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru, looking hurt.

"You hurt his feelings." Said Miroku.

"Good." Said Inu-Yasha, crossing his arms.

Then Sessho-Maru ran out of the room crying and saying Sessho.  Miroku and Inu-Yasha looked at each other with raised eyebrows and decided right then and there that they would never ever wear what Sessho-Maru was just wearing because they didn't want to look like him even though they had previously decided that they had wanted to please Kagome.  They walked outside to see Kagome and Sango both dressed in the full garb.

"Sorry Lady Kagome…" said Miroku.  "Cross-dressing is not something I enjoy."

"I knew you guys wouldn't do it." Said Kagome with a laugh.  "I just thought that MAYBE you MIGHT have put it on.  Here's your REAL outfits!!"  Then she handed them two brand new bags and they both went back into the hut bathroom place to change.

"Well I guess this is a slight improvement." Said Inu-Yasha as he pulled out a flowery Hawaiian shirt.

"At least we don't have to wear a skirt." Said Miroku as he held up a pair of tan shorts.  So they put on the shorts and flowery shirts but left the flowers, leis and ukuleles in the bag and joined back up with Sango and Kagome.

"NO!!" screamed Kagome.  "YOU MUST WEAR THE LEIS AND FLOWERS AND CARRY AROUND THE UKULELES!!!"

She dove forward and put the flowers behind their ears and leis around their necks and the ukuleles in their hands and they didn't do anything about it because they didn't feel like it.

"Come on everyone, now you have to hula dance!!" said Kagome as she started playing the ukulele and hula dancing.

"Um…no." said Inu-Yasha.

"You guys!!" said Sango.  "Remember our agreement!!"

"She's doing this for the sole purpose of humiliating us." Miroku pointed out.  But then a light bulb appeared above his head.  "So this is hula dancing!  Lady Kagome TOLD me that I would find out what it was!"  Then he started laughing to himself as if that was funny.  It wasn't really funny I guess, it was just ironic.

Everyone else just kind of stared at him and then ignored him since he was still chuckling.

"I can't see myself inventing this…" Miroku said randomly.

"Let's just leave now…" said Sango since she didn't really want to hula dance anymore.

"NO!!!" screamed Kagome.  "WE MUST HULA DANCE!!!"

But suddenly, out of nowhere, unexpectedly and without warning, Sessho-Maru walked around the corner wearing a MALE Hawaiian outfit linked arms with Kagura who was wearing a FEMALE Hawaiian outfit.  Sessho-Maru had obviously just cracked a funny joke because they were both in hysterics.

"Oh Sessho-Maru, you're so funny.  Kagura." Said Kagura with a sigh.

"Why are you saying 'Kagura' after everything you say?  Sessho." Asked Sessho-Maru, looking confused.

"Because I want to be more like you!  Kagura." Said Kagura.

"How is that at ALL like me?  Sessho." Questioned Sessho-Maru.

"Oh I love you!  Kagura." Said Kagura.  "I'm so glad we got married!  Kagura."

"As am I.  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru.  At that moment, everyone decided to go over there and ask what the hell was going on.

"GOT MARRIED?!?!?!" they all yelled.

"Why weren't WE invited to the wedding?!" demanded Kagome as if she actually wanted to go.

"We eloped.  Kagura." Said Kagura.  "And we are now on our honeymoon.  Kagura."

"My darling wife's father disapproved of me.  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru sadly.  "I think it was because I have attempted to chop his head off many of times and the fact that I have longer hair and my eye shadow is pink and his is only blue.  But if there had been a wedding, you all would have been invited!!  Sessho."

"I wouldn't have attended." Said Inu-Yasha, scoffing.

"But then who would have been my best man?!  Sessho." Demanded Sessho-Maru.

"NOT ME!!" yelled Inu-Yasha.

"Oh baby brother, I'm sure if the situation HAD presented itself then you would have come and made a grand speech.  Sessho." Said Sessho-Maru.  "Now, if you'll excuse us, we're on our honeymoon!  Sessho."

"EE HEE HEE HEE HEE!!  Kagura." Said Kagura as they both ran off.

"All right…I guess we can leave…" said Kagome.

"YAY!!" screamed everyone.  "IT'S OVER!!!"

Then they all chuckled warmly as a black circle engulfed them.  But then it opened again.

"We still have to get home." Said Kagome.

"Can't we just leave it at this and assume that everything ended okay?" asked Miroku.

"NO!!" yelled Kagome.  "We must ACTUALLY do it!!"

Then they found Shippo and went to the Hawaiian airport.  "Can't we just drive?" asked Sango.

"No!" Kagome insisted.

"But it's so much faster!!" Shippo HOLL-ered.

"NO!!!!" yelled Kagome.

"But we want to go home!" whined Miroku.

"None of you even HAVE real homes!!" Kagome shrieked.  But then she paused and thought it over.  "Actually…Sango does kind of have a home except it's in ruins and I suppose Miroku could go live with his stepparent but it's not his real home and Shippo doesn't have one unless he DID that's all deserted in some kind of tunnel some where and as for Inu-Yasha…no, I don't think he has one either but I guess he could just go up to a village, smite everyone there and live in the house of his choice."

"Do you really think that's all I do?" Inu-Yasha demanded, sounding angry.  "Walk up to random people and smite them just so I can get what I want?!  Well for your information I DON'T!"

"Sure." Said everyone.

"Okay, maybe I do it SOMETIMES but I don't need a house." Inu-Yasha said in the feh tone.

Then they all sneaked onto an airplane.  They put Shippo in the pet compartment because they didn't want to suspiciously take up another seat and besides, the seats are in rows of twos and then someone would have to sit with a stranger or even worse, someone would have to sit with SHIPPO!!!!


	52. The End!!!!

"WINDOW SEAT!!!" screamed Kagome as she dove for the window seat.  Well duh.  Where do you think she would be diving?  The isle seat?  "Inu-Yasha, sit next to me!!"

"Well, I was GOING to…but I wanted a window seat." Said Inu-Yasha just because he felt like torturing her.

"I'LL MOVE!!!" screeched Kagome as she leapt up, sat down in the isle seat and then started fluffing the pillow that was on the window seat and brushing it off.

"Very well." Said Inu-Yasha as he sat in the window seat.

"Kagome!" said Sango.  "Don't make me sit with Hosh-sama!  Do you remember what he did to me on the way here?!"

"No." said Kagome.  "He was sitting with Shippo, remember?"

"Oh right." Said Sango with a nod.  "Sorry Hosh-sama!"

"That's okay." Said Miroku as he sat down next to her since she had snatched the window seat.  He secretly wanted the isle seat the whole time so that he could violate the stewardesses and random beautiful ladies that walked by and hopefully grant fatherly services to.

Suddenly, Kagome leaned over the back of her seat and faced Sango.

"GIRL TALK!!" Kagome shrieked.

Sango looked at Miroku and Inu-Yasha who had no averted their full attention to Kagome because she had so suddenly shrieked.  "Now?  Here?"

"OF COURSE!!" Kagome yelled.  "Okay, so who do you think is…bigger?"

"Do you mean fatter or…taller…?" Sango asked.

"All around!" Kagome said cheerfully.  "They say a man is half the size of their foot!"

"Um…both of them have pretty small feet." Sango said as she looked down.

"Okay…screw the foot thing and ANSWER MY QUESTION!!"

"Okay…who's fatter?  Neither of them are really fat at all but Inu-Yasha's pretty scrawny so I'd have to say Miroku.  Taller?  Definitely Miroku."

"YOU KNOW?!?!?" Kagome screeched.  "YOU MUST BE IN LOVE!!!"

"Well, look at them, Miroku's got at least a few inches on Inu-Yasha."

"A FEW INCHES?!"

"SHUT-UP!!" Yelled some random unshaven fat guy who was on the plane.

"Yeah…" Sango said uneasily in a low voice.  "Watch, stand up."

With that Inu-Yasha and Miroku stood up because they had nothing better to do.

"I must protest, I am not fat." Miroku said.

"And I'm NOT scrawny!" Inu-Yasha yelled.  "How dare you say that!"

"See." Said Sango.

"Wait…you thought I meant HEIGHT?!" Kagome laughed.  "Oh…that's funny!!"

Then she burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter.  At times, everyone thought she was going to die because she was short of breath but she just passed out instead.

"Whoa." Said Inu-Yasha.  "That was really strange."

Ten minutes later…

"Inu-Yasha…" Kagome said slowly as she looked at Inu-Yasha who was looking out the window wistfully.  He turned his head in what seemed like slow motion and his eyes sparkled in the light.

"You're awake." He said with a smile.

"Are you bored?" Kagome asked as she pushed the stray hair from Inu-Yasha's face.

"I was while you were asleep." Said Inu-Yasha.  "But now that you're awake, I know you can give me something to do."

"Do you have any ideas?" Kagome asked with sparkling, distressed teary eyes.  There were flowers and bubbles in the background.

"You could kiss me." Said Inu-Yasha as he pulled Kagome closer.

"Inu-Yasha…"

"Kagome…"

"You wistfully uttered my name…" said Kagome.  "That was the first time…"

"You noticed…" said Inu-Yasha.

"Of course I noticed." Said Kagome.  "I love you and that's the only reason I need."

"I love you too."

Then they kissed and stuff.  They didn't even come up for air because they didn't need it because they supplied each with air with their love!

Suddenly, Inu-Yasha pulled back and started shaking Kagome.

"Kagome, Kagome!" he yelled.

Kagome was suddenly shaken awake from her dream.  Yes.  It WAS a dream.  Did we fool you that time?

"What?" Kagome asked in her discombobulated state.

"The movie's starting." He said.  "Could you hold the earphones for me again?  I just can't get them to stay."

Kagome sighed.  "Okay…" she said.  Then she got a clever idea.  "I'll hold them…if you kiss me."

"Kiss you?"

"Yes!" Kagome said as she suddenly got angry.

"How is that a fair trade at all?" Inu-Yasha asked.

"I don't know." Said Kagome.  "I hold the earphones there for two hours while you watch the movie and all you have to do is kiss me?  Seems unfair to me."

"I don't want to." Said Inu-Yasha.

"How come you kiss Kikyo and not me?!"

"I didn't kiss Kikyo!!" Inu-Yasha demanded.

"Yes you did!" Kagome insisted.  "I was there!  It was a long time ago!"

"You always have to harp in the past, don't you?!"

"YES!!" Kagome yelled.  "Well, you can just hold your OWN earphones!"

"I can't do THAT!" Inu-Yasha said.  "How can I watch the movie?!"

"I don't know!" Kagome said with her arms crossed.  "It's not MY fault you've got weird dog ears on your head and can't wear headphones like a normal person and need someone to hold them!"

"Well, you can just find a new place to sit!" Inu-Yasha yelled as he turned around toward the window and crossed her arms.

"I was here first!" Kagome said.

"I don't care!" Inu-Yasha said as he pushed Kagome out of the seat.  Before Kagome could get back in her seat, Inu-Yasha had already sprawled himself out so his legs were in Kagome's seat.

"FINE!!" she screamed as she moved a row back to where Miroku and Sango were sitting ever so contently.  "One of you have to switch places with me because Inu-Yasha won't let me sit down anymore!"

"What does that have to do with us?" asked Miroku.

"Just go and take my seat so I can sit here!" she yelled as she pulled him out of the seat and then took his.

"And we were having such an intelligent conversation too." Sango said with a sigh.

Miroku decided not to argue and made his way over to where Inu-Yasha was.  "Please move your legs." He said.

"No." said Inu-Yasha as he scoffed.

"Very well." Said Miroku as he pulled a demon ward out of his pocket.

"Fine then!" said Inu-Yasha as he moved very quickly while trying not to look TOO frantic.

"Thank you." Said Miroku as he sat down.  He quietly and peacefully put on the earphones and watched the stupid movie that was playing that was so unfortunately NOT Shrek.

"Miroku, hold my earphones for me!" Inu-Yasha commanded.

Miroku turned his head and looked at Inu-Yasha.  Then he removed his own headphones.  "Pardon me?" he asked.

"Hold my headphones for me!" Inu-Yasha repeated.  "I can't wear them because they're made for people with human ears."

"Don't you wish that the new moon was tonight?" Miroku asked, trying to change the subject.

"NO because it's not even night." Said Inu-Yasha, looking at Miroku as if he were stupid.

"Why don't you just do something else instead of watching the movie?" suggested Miroku.  "It's not imperative."

"Yes it is." Inu-Yasha said.  "What else am I supposed to do?  READ?!"

"Sure." Said Miroku with a shrug as he put the headphones back on.

"Don't ignore me!!" yelled Inu-Yasha as he grabbed the earphones on Miroku and ripped them off.

"Why don't you hold them yourself?" Miroku said, trying not to sound agitated.

"Me?!  Feh." Said Inu-Yasha as he turned and looked out the window as if that would solve his problems or convince Miroku to hold the earphones.  Miroku shrugged and put HIS back on so he would watch the movie that was probably a dumb movie like Bridget Jones's Diary.  He very quickly got bored with this movie because it's boring so he pulled out the best selling novel that he had back in the hotel on the Utah/Nevada state boarder and decided that this was a good time to finally finish it.

Meanwhile, Kagome and Sango were catching up on girl talk.

"Why did you start laughing hysterically when I said that Miroku was taller and that Inu-Yasha was scrawnier?" Sango decided to ask because that whole incident was just bothering her.

"Because the whole time you thought that I was talking about them as PEOPLE not as…well…YOU KNOW!!" Kagome explained.

"No…" Sango said, raising an eyebrow.  "Maybe you should explain more."

"Well okay…" said Kagome.  "You know what separates men from women?"

"Uh…yeah…" Sango said uneasily.

"Well THAT'S what I was talking about!!" Kagome said with a chuckle.

"Oh." Said Sango with a nod.  "That's kind of disgusting, Kagome.  And you were talking about that in front of them when there are lots of people all around us?"

"I knew they would be clueless but I figured that you would know what I meant considering how much girl talk we've ALREADY done." Kagome confessed.  "So now that you know what I'm talking about, who do you think is bigger?"

"I'd prefer to avoid this subject." Sango said firmly.  "If we really must have girl talk, do you think we could talk about…oh I don't know…maybe make-up or something like that?"

"Okay." Said Kagome.  "That's a good idea.  Who do you think we could get to wear make-up first, Inu-Yasha or Miroku?"

"How about I ask the questions for a change?" Sango suggested.  "Or even better, how about we watch this movie?"  Then she quickly put on the earphones so that Kagome wouldn't talk to her anymore.  Kagome frowned but then realized that her favorite movie was on so she had to watch it.

When the movie was over, a stewardess went around asking everybody what they wanted for dinner since it was dinner time now.  Their choices were… Filet of Fish, Chicken or a salad.  Kagome ordered a salad because she didn't want to look like a pig in front of the kid who she found mildly attractive who was sitting across the way.  Of course, this kid was probably in his early twenties so it's not like he had any attraction to a fifteen-year-old girl like Kagome but Kagome THOUGHT he did.  Sango got chicken and so did Miroku and Inu-Yasha.  Of course, the stewardess didn't get away without a little pat on her behind from Miroku and he didn't get away without a slap from both the stewardess AND Sango even though she didn't have a place to slap him.  Well, the stewardess did but not Sango.

They got their food a little while later and then ate it.

HOWEVER MANY HOURS LATER THE FLIGHT ENDED!!!

"That was a long flight." Said Kagome as everyone stood there waiting for their baggage to come around.  Actually, they had all their baggage, they just didn't have Shippo.

"It wasn't as long as the first one." Miroku pointed out.

"Yeah but it was still long…" Kagome reminded him.  Then they found Shippo!!!!  They all gave mighty yawns and went outside for Kagome's mom to pick them up at the airport.  And then Kagome remembered that she had to call her mom so that she would know to pick them up and then she ran back inside and called her mom and then waited outside with everyone else.  Since Kagome's mom was just sitting by the telephone waiting for the phone call, she was there in a flash with a car…

Kagome sat in the front seat and everyone else got in the back.

"Did you have fun?" asked Kagome's mom.

"UM…no." said Kagome quietly.  "I'm sure I would have had more fun if I had gone alone or with my three random friends.  But I did get to try a bunch of new things that I've never done before."

"What did your friends think of the trip?" Kagome's mom asked.

"I don't know." Said Kagome.  "But I think they had fun."

Then Kagome's mom drove them all the way home.  Since she's very experienced, she didn't come even CLOSE to crashing into orphans OR children with parents.

"Can we leave now?" asked Inu-Yasha.

"Don't you guys want to have dinner with my family though?" Kagome asked, getting teary.

"Didn't we have dinner on the airplane?" asked Miroku.

"No." said Kagome quickly.  "That was lunch.  The time zones and stuff are completely different here!!  Now come on!  I don't think you all have met my family yet!!"

"I have." Said Inu-Yasha but he went inside the house with everyone else anyway.

"YAY!!" cheered Kagome's knavish little brother Sota/Soda/Lil Kuno.  Even though he's knavish, he's still very cute.  P. D

"YAY!!" cheered Shippo.

"YAY!!" cheered Lil Kuno.

"YAY!!" cheered Kagome's mom.

"YAY!!" cheered no one really.

"Um…can we stop?" asked Kagome.

"You did it too." Said Sango.

"No I didn't." Kagome said.

"I'm assuming you were the 'no one really'." Said Sango.

"That was Miroku." Said Kagome.

"It was not!" Miroku argued.  "It was Shippo for a second time!"

"I think it was Soda." Said Inu-Yasha.

"You're all wrong!!" yelled Kagome's grandfather.  "It was ME!!"

Then they all stood in silence for a moment.

"Um…okay." Said Kagome.  "Can we have dinner now?  My friends want to go home.  They haven't been home for a while!!"

"Can't we just go home NOW?!" asked Sango.

All four of them started pleading with Kagome until she finally gave in.  "But I want to come and make sure everything goes okay!" said Kagome as she beckoned them over to the well.  They all jumped in and magically transported to the world in which they were familiar with.

"This is much better." Said Miroku.  "Everything is back to normal without wires and cars and random assortments of orphans who desire to cross the street so frequently."  Then he gave a sigh.  "But I will miss driving.  Maybe someday, Lady Kagome, you can bring a car here for me to drive."

"THAT'S what I'm gonna do!" Kagome said sarcastically.

"YAY!!" cheered Shippo.

"When did anyone address you?" asked Miroku.  "Lady Kagome and I were having a conversation."

"I just felt like cheering." Shippo said with a shrug.

Before they realized it, they had instinctively made their way to Kaede's house as she brewed some kind of potion or something.  When they walked in, she looked up, surprised.

"OH!!" she said.  "SO THERE YOU ARE!!"  Then she stomped over to them making big Kaede sized footprints in the ground.  "You have been gone for such a long time!  I've been here worrying my BUTT off and you have just been running around doing WHATEVER you feel like, making babies and not telling me anything!  No one appreciates me anymore!!"

"MAKING BABIES?!" yelled everyone.

"YES!!" yelled Kaede.

"We weren't even gone for that long!!" Inu-Yasha pointed out.

"Do I even know you?" wondered Sango.

They all stood in silence for a few seconds.

"So…did you have fun?" asked Kaede.

"Um…yes." Said everyone because Kaede seemed a bit edgy.

"Yes, I bet you had lots of fun." Said Kaede as she started nudging Kagome indiscreetly.  "You were gone such a long time so I'm POSITIVE that you had a great time.  Am I right?"

"Well…I guess it had its high points…" Kagome said hesitantly.

Kaede started laughing very manly…ly.  "I'm glad you had fun!!" she said as she continued brewing her potion.

"Yes, it was fun for the most part." Said Inu-Yasha.

"Oh so even Inu-Yasha admits it." Said Kaede with a wink.  "Then I KNOW you both had fun!"

"We had fun too." Said Miroku, pointing to himself and Sango.

"DID YOU?!" Kaede said, looking surprised.

"I had fun too!!" Shippo declared.

"I think you're a little too young to have as much as I think you did." Said Kaede as she turned back to the four taller people.  "So, tell me about how much fun you guys had.  I want details!"

"Um…there was a bug ranch." Said Inu-Yasha.  That was probably all he remembered from the entire trip.  Or at least all he cared to remember.  "I had a blast there."

"That's good!" said Kaede.  "Did the rest of you have fun?"

"No, I stayed in the car." Miroku answered.

"I did too." Said Sango.

"I think I did too…" Kagome said, thinking back.  That was kind of a long time ago.

"OH-HO!!" said Kaede.  "I bet YOU had fun Miroku!!"

"No…I believe I was unconscious." Miroku said.

"That would be my fault." Said Sango, looking embarrassed.  "I think I might have hit him a little too hard but he really needed it."

"Stop!!" said Kaede.  "We have children present.  You can tell me all the real details later."  Then she skipped off.

"That was a bit out of character." Said Kagome.

"But then again, who HAS been in character?" added Sango.

"Certainly not Sessho-Maru!!" said Shippo.  Then they all started chuckling warmly just as Kaede ran in looking frantic.

"Sessho-Maru is outside!!" she yelled.

"So?" said everyone.  "What else is new?"

"Aren't you going to go do something about it?!" Kaede demanded.

"Um…I guess we could slap him or something." Said Kagome with a shrug.   Then they all made their way outside to see Sessho-Maru standing there looking smug with his regular garb on.

"We don't feel like dealing with you so go away." Said Inu-Yasha.

"Such insolence is expected from a lowly hanyou such as yourself, Inu-Yasha." Said Sessho-Maru as he didn't even change his expression at all.  No one said anything because they were waiting for him to say 'Sessho' and they just assumed that he had more to say.  I mean, him saying 'Sessho' is kind of like when you say 'over' when talking on a walkie-talkie!!  "So…are you prepared Inu-Yasha?"

"Prepared for what?" asked Inu-Yasha.  "To dance?  To frolic?  To catch up on old times?"

"No." said Sessho-Maru as he tried not to raise an eyebrow.  "Why would this Sessho-Maru want to catch up on old times with that Inu-Yasha?"

"Um…I don't know." Said Inu-Yasha.  "Just by the way you've been acting for quite possibly the entire road trip I figured that it was inevitable for you to ask."

"Road trip?" said Sessho-Maru.  "This charade is getting tedious.  Prepare for battle, Inu-Yasha."

"You know, I think he's in character now that we're back in your world." Said Kagome.

"I don't know whether to be happy or sad." Said Inu-Yasha.

"I was getting used to him like that." Miroku confessed.

"Inu-Yasha, don't think you can just push me aside." Said Sessho-Maru.

"Why do you want to fight me anyway?  I just got back and I just want to… NOT do something for a little while." Admitted Inu-Yasha.

"Does this Sessho-Maru need a reason for combat?" Sessho-Maru asked as if he were appalled just by the fact that Inu-Yasha was talking to him and not futilely attempting to smite him.

Suddenly there was a foul odor in the air that everyone could smell.  The waft clouds of stench parted and standing amidst them was Naraku in a monkey suit!

"This Naraku is ready to fight you, Inu-Yasha." Said Naraku.

"Even if that WAS the real Naraku…" started Miroku.

"This Sessho-Maru wants to destroy Inu-Yasha." Sessho-Maru said as he cracked his fingers.

"This Naraku has precedence over you, Sessho-Maru, you should know that." Said Naraku.  "Now be gone.  This Naraku has plans to absorb you later."

"YOU absorb this Sessho-Maru?" asked Sessho-Maru in a baffled tone (at least it was a baffled tone for HIM).  "Don't make this Sessho-Maru laugh.  This Sessho-Maru would ruin his reputation if he were to."

"You must forgive this Naraku." Said Naraku knavishly.  "But if you don't get out of this Naraku's way, he will do away with you now."

Inu-Yasha, Miroku, Sango, Shippo, Kaede and the rest of the gang decided that it would be a good time to leave.  So they quietly slipped away as that Naraku and that Sessho-Maru engaged in mortal combat.

"Geez, I'm back for a minute and already TWO wanted to kill me!" Inu-Yasha announced as if everyone else didn't know.

"I know." Said Kagome.  "I was there."

"Well, should we just end this before everyone else who made an appearance in the story shows up and wants to fight me now that they're all in character and want to end my life like usual."

"I'm for that!" Shippo cheered.  Well…actually… "YAY!!!" he cheered THAT.

Suddenly, a big tornado thing came out of nowhere REALLY fast and stopped right in front of them.  Standing in front of there was Kouga!!

"Yo!" Kouga greeted.

"HURRY!!" Inu-Yasha yelled at the narrator.  "END IT NOW!!"

Then they all chuckled warmly as a black circle engulfed them.

Hiten, Manten and Souten walked across the black screen.

"Manten!" Hiten yelled.  "You MADE me turn that wrong way!  I could feel your telepathic vibes!  That's why we were late and missed the ending!"

"I'm sorry big brother!" Manten groveled.

"HOW CUTE!!" came a voice from off the black screen.

"I believe that ominous voice is talking about you, darling Souten." Said Hiten as he patted Souten on the head.  Souten giggled.

"No, silly!" said the voice as the owner of the voice made himself seen.  It was JAKOTSU!!  "I was talking about YOU!  I find you very attractive."

"Well, most people do and… WAIT!!" started Hiten.  "You're a MAN!"

"Guilty." Said Jakotsu as he put his hand over his heart.

Hiten screamed and then a black circle engulfed THAT group.

END!!


End file.
